EXPERIMENT 626

En12 R10
Mr. Samuel Tacujan
March 16, 2011

The Last Goal

A team is supposed to support you when you are down. A team is supposed to there for

you when you are in trouble. When you are on a team, you always expect them to be there for

you. I was a member of the football team in high school and I soon realized that the team did not

support me as much as I thought they did.

On the 27th of March 2008, two days before my 15th birthday, I had football practice at

my high school. The whole team had come out to play as it was summer and everyone was

available. When all team members had arrived, we warmed up and did our stretching together. I

was happy to see my team but I also felt quite detached. That was the constant looming emotion

when I was with my team, detachment.

The women’s team was composed of girls who were considered the “attractive” of my

high school and they often huddled together in a clique, quite exclusive. Being pleasantly plump,

highly athletic, and probably too lovely for them to fathom, I was not exactly a fit to their clique

standards but they still talked to me nicely. Despite that, I still felt left out sometimes. I was

much more comfortable in the presence of the men’s team. I had known them longer and they

considered me “one of the guys”, so to speak. I was quite boyish and I fit in quite well with

them. They weren’t afraid to be rougher with me in the game and I appreciated it. It made me

stronger, tougher, and a better player, I suppose.

EXPERIMENT 626
En12 R10
Mr. Samuel Tacujan
March 16, 2011
At around five o’clock in the afternoon, we began our game. It was exhilarating to run

through the field and feel the wind rush against my face, whipping my hair around. I was

immersed in the game. I was in my element.

About half way through the game, my team mates coaxed my two coaches into joining

the game. They seemed reluctant as they made their way onto t he field but quickly eased into

the game as it began once more. In the first fifteen minutes they were in the game, they scored

two goals and they held nothing back as they continued to score goals, making the players groan

in defeat. I was unfazed. I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I was glad that my coaches seemed to be

enjoying themselves.

It was around six thirty in the evening when we decided we would end the game at the

next goal made. Of course, we put up a good fight. No goal was made in the next ten minutes

and it became clear that at that rate, the game wasn’t going to be ending any time soon. One of

my coaches decided to have some fun and score the last goal. I had no idea what a shock I was in

for.

The ball was released from the goal keeper and bounce across the field. Players darted

towards it and but pulled back when my coach took possession of the ball. He eased his way

through the defense of the upper field and was making his way towards me. I braced myself. I

knew my coach was a very strong striker so I devised a plan if my head to block him then

attempt to steal the ball. Unfortunately, my plan was never able to make its grand debut.
EXPERIMENT 626
En12 R10
Mr. Samuel Tacujan
March 16, 2011
When my coach reached me, I was able to block him but as I attempted to steal the ball,

he also attempted to make a goal. His right leg collided with my left knee with incredible force

and I heard a pop (To this day, I still stand by my belief that I was perfectly justified in my

attempt to steal the ball. His kick was uncalled for since I technically already had possession of

the ball). Everything after that seemed to have shifted into slow motion. I fell to the ground,

clutching my knee and tears freely flowing from my eyes. I twisted in pain as I felt sharp pains

rush through my left knee. When I heard the blow of a whistle, I turned my head to the side and

saw the silhouettes of my team mates leaving the field. I thought they would approach me with

concern and worry, apparently not.

I lay on the ground for about a minute with no one approaching or assisting me. Finally,

my two coaches appeared. They hovered around me and simply asked me, “Are you okay, Val?”

I desperately wanted to scream, “Oh, definitely. My leg is just in horrifying pain! NO BIG

DEAL AT ALL!” but instead I pushed myself into a sitting position while holding my throbbing

leg. One of my coaches simply told me, “Mawala ra na, Val. Higda sa. (It’ll go away, Val. Just

lay down)”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. I was in pain. The pain was not limited to my left knee

though. I felt abandoned and very alone. I was lying on a bare field, writhing in pain, and not a

single one of my lovely team mates even approached or tried to help me. They all simply walked

off the field, gathered their belongings, and made their way home. In my mind, I was asking

myself: Do I mean this little to my team? Do they not care about me at all?
EXPERIMENT 626
En12 R10
Mr. Samuel Tacujan
March 16, 2011
My coaches made no move to help me up so I slowly and painfully pushed myself up into

a standing position with my weight leaning on my right leg. I hopped on my right leg all the way

to a bench nearby and winced at the pain I felt as I lowered myself. My bags were on a table a bit

of a distance from where I sat and I wondered how I would get them and then get home. I had a

guardian or “yaya” that my grandmother had to wait for me and bring me home. She ran up to

me and frantically tried to help me up but it was immensely difficult for us to move as I hopped

on one foot. She had me sit back down as she rushed to get my bags. She came back looking

horrified. Probably because she knew my grandmother would interrogate her on the whole ordeal

and put the responsibility of my safety partially on her. I gave her a weak smile but it didn’t help

the situation whatsoever. We made a second attempt to make our way to the entrance gate but it

proved futile once again.

After some time, my coaches finally took notice of the difficulty and pain I was

experiencing. They called on some members of the men’s team to help me. I believe the terms

they used were: “Tabangi na lang siya (Just help her out)” It was the way they said it that also

struck me. It added to the pain. They were my coaches. They should have cared more. I was a

pretty good player and I worked hard for the team. Am I that disposable of a player? When my

coach said that, I was tempted to refuse the help and hop my way to the entrance gate of the

school alone. I was quite furious. No, I was incredibly furious but I still accepted the reluctant

help offered. I knew it would be idiotic for me to refuse and risk hurting myself further. The two

men’s team players supported me as we made our way to the entrance gate’s lobby. When we

arrived they plopped me onto a white plastic chair and left. How wonderful of them.
EXPERIMENT 626
En12 R10
Mr. Samuel Tacujan
March 16, 2011
A few minutes later, I was being taxied to my grandmother’s house then off to the

hospital where I had an x-ray done. I was then told that I had soft tissue damages in my left knee

and it would heal soon. It didn’t. I left the hospital hopping on my right leg with my left knee

wrapped in an elastic band. I continued to hop on one leg for the next three weeks before I was

able to start walking right.

I attempted to rejoin the team in the months that followed but it felt different. I went to

practices and began training again but I simply couldn’t trust them anymore. I couldn’t depend

on them. Added to that was that I knew if any other girl on the team had been injured like me, it

would’ve been different. The boys would have rushed over and been concerned. They would

probably even offer to carry her. I knew this and it hurt. It made me feel awful, like I didn’t

matter. I was not, and still am not, pretty or slim like the other girls on the team and my self-

esteem took a pretty good beating that day. It came as no surprise that after some time, I

eventually quit the team.

Three years later, the pain hasn’t gone away. The pain in my leg and the pain I feel when

I remember that day. After another x-ray and MRI done last year, I have a confirmed complete

anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) tear that requires an operation that will put three metal bolts

into my knee. I truly believe everything happens for reason. Although I do feel intensely bitter

about my injury, I do understand that it changed me for the better. I won’t say that if I could go

back I would get hurt again because that pain was horrendous but I will say that I’m thankful for

I’ve learned from my injury. You really do have to get hurt sometimes before you learn. No pain,

no gain.