Topic 16: The best way to help underachieving pupils is to have compulsory after school

activities which they must attend. This way they will become more involved in school and their
grades will improve. To what extent do you agree?
Plan:
Introduction : - Paraphrase
- In my opinion, I disagree with this
Paragraph 1: The benefit and drawback of extra-curricular exercises
- Lessons can be tailored to the child. => Because the recent teaching method do not focus
on the development of personnel and the number of students in a class has been
exaggerated, so teacher can not enough time to take care of all them. The extra classes
after official school hours will help underachieving children can get as much support and
help as they need to improve subjects that they were distracted through lectures.
- This trend is more popular and children would have to experience pressure under hectic
learning schedules, while others can participate in their favorite activities such as taking
up a musical instrument or painting. As a result, they will loss of their positive learning
skills, which is better to stimulate critical thinking, and problem-solution skills if they
want to pursuit tertiary education.
Paragraph 2: The other method instead of extra classes
- Streaming school is one of a key to reduce studying time. This method would allow
students who have the same level can learn at the same pace.
- Sometimes, falling behind students’ studies results from inappropriate teaching styles.
Traditional teaching method recognized the single interaction from lecturers and students
rarely have a chance to raise their voice. It cause the boredom and make distraction in
class. Teacher should tailor their teaching styles by creating interactive learning
environment, stimulate positive research of lectures to discuss.
Writing:
Some people argue that the students who are unable to achieve the standard grades (thay bằng
required grades/academic standard) at school should compulsorily participate in extra classes
after official schooling time. Thus, they are more interested in studying and enhance their
academic results. In my opinion, I believe that these students should be stimulated their studying
ambition by changing learning habits or streaming them in schools.
Thus sử dụng chưa chính xác
Thesis statement could be better
On the one hand, some parents or schools prefer their children to enroll extracurricular lessons.
Therefore, teachers do not have enough time to transfer their lectures and take care of the
personnel’s understanding ability after finishing classes, so there are some students who
ironically fall behind their studies. Raising studying hours after school activities may be
prioritize at most of schools because underachieving pupils can get as much as supports and
helps to improve subjects which they were distracted. However, if children concentrate on these
classes, they will have to suffer from experience pressure under hectic schedules, instead of
spending their leisure time for hobbies or developing social skills. As a result, although they may
have a good grasp of certain academic subjects, their dependence on studying under supervision
will make a loss of positive learning skills, which is good at critical thinking and problem-
solution skills if they aim to pursuit tertiary education.
Therefore sử dụng chưa chính xác
Personnel sử dụng chưa chính xác
Ironically sử dụng chưa chính xác
Support and help không đếm được
Which is good at sử dụng chưa chính xác
On the other hand, many favorable methods that are not required the increase of class hours for
underachievement. Firstly, streaming in schools is a key of supporting these students to catch up
the pace between other peers. This solution allows educators to arrange their children with the
same level in the same pace and they can design specific curriculums towards understanding
ability. Secondly, as traditional teaching style has recognized single interaction from lecturers, it
could get a lot of boredom and distraction from students during lessons. Hence, teachers should
tend to transfer academic subjects through effective methods such as interactive learning, which
helps students develop self-studying skills and convey their opinion fluently.
Opening statement chưa phải một câu
Streaming in school?
Pace between other peers?
Single interaction from lecturers?
It could get a lot of boredom and distraction => it could result in/lead to boredom and distraction
Tend to sử dụng chưa chính xác

In conclusion, although extracurricular lessons may be better advance academic results by

concentrating students on practicing more and more, streaming in schools and new teaching
methods could be beneficial for students in a balance of schooling hours and their life.