Strategically use conflict styles

To strategically use conflict styles, you can use the following grid. First, evaluate the situation:
What is most important to you? The team? The organization? Is it the goal or the relationship
at stake? When the relationship is objective, use the strategies on the right side of the grid
(collaboration or accommodation).

If it is crucial to keep the goal above all else, you could use the two strategies at the top of
the grid (competition or collaboration). When the goal and the relationship are equally
important, a compromise would probably be the most effective solution. When the purpose
and the relationship matter little, it may be more appropriate to avoid conflict.

Checklist:

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Crucial objective (most important) and negligible relationship = competition
Negligible objective and crucial relationship = accommodation

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Purpose AND relationship crucial = collaboration
Objective AND relationship negligible = avoidance

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Purpose and relationship relatively important, but none more than the other = compromise
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Finally, check your perception, try to understand the different aspects of the conflict and
attack the problem, not the people. Conflict can help strengthen relationships, understand
what is most important, express emotions, and purge relationships by eliminating irritation
and resentment. Ultimately, conflicts that are effectively managed can build trust and
increase your self-confidence.

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 How to act with difficult people

When working with a group, it is inevitable that you have to work with a person with a
difficult character. Often, this person is not aware of the effect it has on the group or the
consequences of its actions on other people. According to the different points of view, any
person can be considered at one time or the other as a person with a difficult character. In
the workplace, each person can be productive while being a source of problems. It all
depends on how one looks at the situation. With a simple change of perspective, a situation
you face with a person with a difficult character can turn into a rewarding learning
experience for you.

When working with a difficult person, start by locating the problem inside you. In his book
Learning in Relationship, Dr. Ronald Short states, "The effect that a person has on us (the
feelings and thoughts we have in ourselves) is our responsibility. To understand this effect,
we must look at ourselves, not judge others "(1998). Remember to make it a rule not to feel
personally targeted (which is easier said than done!). You are not responsible for the way

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people act: people speak and act according to how they live.

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An effective communication is a prerequisite for successful conflict resolution, and good

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communication depends on two factors: (1) recognizing people, listening to them, and
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making productive use of their differences; and (2) develop a personal approach to dealing
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with people effectively.
Try the following suggestions:
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- When a problem arises, react immediately, directly and respectfully.

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- Speak directly to the person - do not talk to anyone else about this person's
behaviour.
- Do not confuse people and problems. Remember that the problem comes from the
relationship, not from the person himself.
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- Try to understand objectively why a person with a difficult character does so instead
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of reacting immediately.
- Ask yourself if you contributed to the situation, and how.
- That your messages are clear, otherwise you would risk further complicating the
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situation by sowing misunderstandings.

- Discuss the problem by talking to the first person (eg, "I'm not comfortable with
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you").
- Reinforce all the positive changes (even the small ones) made by the person with the
difficult character.

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