Fear Poem

I'm afraid of the dark, of public speaking

Of dying alone, of those awkward greetings.
Where he goes for a handshake and I go for a knuckle bump
And I end up looking like an absolute chump.

I'm afraid of looking dumb, there's so much to overcome.

I’m afraid of being mugged, that I’ll never find true love.
I’m afraid that my wife will wake up one morning and say she's had enough
And that I will end up like one of those bums that you find on the street corner
Just asking for some spare quarters.

You see, no matter how old I get

I can't seem to loosen the grip of fear from my lips.
I used to have a stutter and a lisp.
I mean for years my S's would “thound like thith”.
And it was so embarrassing to where even now the remnants of my stutter and lisp
Play a much bigger emphasis on my life than I care to admit.

My mind just can't seem to forget

The not too silent diss from the kids in middle school
Saying “silly Michael spit it out”
“He sounds like porky the pig with a sponge in his mouth.”
Soaking up all the S syllables as I would stumble over my words
Until I would just stop speaking so my stutter wouldn’t be heard
And I know that may sound absurd

But I used to think that I was just this little dude

Whose throat swelled up in interviews for fear that stuttering is not what winners do
I used to tell girls that they could pick some bigger dude
Who could converse over dinner food
Without sounding like clueless like Mr. Magoo
But one day God said "Michael in your weakness my glory will shine through."

And I don’t really know what happened.

It was definitely not from any of my actions
But like a Holy Spirit chemical reaction
My stutter was soon overcome.

This is for the ones who think that no one notices.

Who’s days are filled with hopelessness.
I am living proof that YOU have a purpose.
That your testimony goes further than just what is on the surface.

Because if God could take David, a little shepherd boy

 And make him king with no bloodline of royalty.
If He could use Paul, a man who hated the church
To become the leading ambassador of the Gospel.
If He could use the disciples, men who were told that they were not good enough
To become the foundations of the church.
Then he can use you.

So don’t give up and don’t count yourself out.

Don’t sell yourself short when you have the Spirit of the Lord.

Because there’s no one who can break you.

No one who can take you.
No one who can shake you.
Because the one who created you
Is bigger than all of that.

He's bigger than all of your fears.

From those years, and those tears
From crying on your pillow because you just wanted to be normal.
But God doesn’t use those that are normal.
He uses those who are willing, willing to be themselves.

So Be you. The individual.

Not the you that you've pieced together from magazine models
Or Nicholas Sparks novels.
Be You.
The uniquely created, special and sacred individual.
You.

The one with experiences, opinions and beliefs

The things that make you unique.
Your scars share them.
Your broken hearts wear them
Don't let others critical remarks, pierce you in the arms like barbs
That hold you back from being you.
Stay true to being you.

No matter what others might do, stay true to being you.

Because in your weakness God’s glory will shine through.
Just stay true to being you.