Stealing
interchangeable. Youngsters
During early school age, most children go
through a period
during which they steal loose change from
their mother’s
purse or father’s dresser. This usually
happens at around
7 years of age, when children first learn
how to make change
and also discover the importance of
money. Stealing occurs
because, although a child is gaining an
appreciation for
money, this appreciation is not yet
balanced by strong moral
principles.
Parents should explore the reason for the
stealing:
• Do other children on the block receive
an allowance and
so have money for small items?
• Did their child make a bet that must be
paid?
• Is a child buying a bully’s friendship by
purchasing gum
or candy for that child?
• Does a child need more security and
view money as security?
As a rule, early childhood stealing is best
handled without
a great deal of emotion. A parent should
tell the child the
money is missing. The importance of
property rights should
be reviewed: mother’s and father’s
money is theirs; the child’s
money is the child’s; they are not
who continue to steal past 9 years of age
may require coun-seling because they
should have progressed beyond this nor-
mal developmental step by this age.
Some shoplifting occurs with early school-
age children,
but the major problem with this arises
during preadoles-cence. Some of this
happens for the same reason that past
generations tipped over outhouses or
untied the preacher’s
horse and buggy: it is a public act of
rebellion against au-thority, a “coming of
age” ritual. It usually occurs because of
peer pressure such as when children
believe they must have a
certain type of clothing to belong to the
“in” crowd. It can
also be an initiation ritual for gang
membership.
Shoplifting must be taken seriously by
parents because it
is a punishable crime, not a prank. Just as
money missing
from a purse should not be ignored,
shoplifting should be
confronted immediately to prevent
children who succeed
once from taking something even bigger
the second time.
Children should be asked how they came
to possess the arti-cle and should not be
allowed to use it. Children should then
be denied access to stores until they
demonstrate more re-sponsibility. A child
who shoplifts more than once may need
counseling; it reflects more than simple
confusion about
property rights.
As an overall principle, parents should set
good examples
if they expect their child to be honest. If
one parent takes
money from the other without
permission, neither should be
surprised to find their child attempting to
do the same. If a
parent changes price tags or unwraps
items and eats them
without paying for them in the
supermarket, a parent cannot
expect a child to do otherwise.
Violence or Terrorism
Children basically view their world as safe,
so it is a shock
when violence such as a school shooting
or reports of terror-ists enter their lives
(Gaffney, 2008). Common recommen-
dations for parents to help children feel
safe are:
• Assure children they are safe; the
violence is isolated to an-other part of the
world and they are out of danger.
• Assure children their parents are
actively involved in keep-ing them safe.
• Observe for signs of stress such as sleep
disturbances, fa-tigue, lack of pleasure in
activities, or signs of beginning
substance abuse.
• Not allow children or adolescents to
view footage of trau-matic events over
and over, as this decreases their ability
to feel safe.
• Watch news programs with children so
they can explain
that the situation portrayed is not near
them and that
their child is safe.
• Explain there are bad people in the
world, and bad people
do bad things, but help children
appreciate not all people
in a particular group or who look a
particular way are bad.
Lashing out at people who resemble them
only causes
more harm.
• Prepare a family disaster plan, including
such things as
bottled water, blankets, toiletries, pet
supplies, appropri-ate clothing, flashlights,
and information such as what im-
munizations their children have had
(particularly tetanus)
and, if a child is ill, a history of medical
needs or care so
that in an emergency, these items are
ready.
• Designate a “rally point” where the
family will meet if
ever separated by a disaster or
evacuation.
Some parents may be reluctant to talk to
thei