OBSERVATIONS O N TEMPER TANTRUMS IN CHILDREN*

ELISABETH R. GELEERD, M.D.

The Southard Schoof, Topeka, Kansas

HOUGH temper tantrums are a common symptom of behavior disorder in

T children, very few observers thus far have made a thorough investigation of
this phenomenon and very few definitions of it are to be found in the literature.
The Encyclopaedia of Child Guidance ( I ) gives the following definitions: “A
temper tantrum is a violent outbreak of anger. Its manifestations are complete
loss of control, screaming, kicking, etc.” English and Pearson (2) describe a
temper tantrum as a strong desire to disturb, destroy, annoy, or annihilate.
Anna Freud and Dorothy Burlingham ( 3 ) describe temper tantrums as a re-
gressive form of behavior. “Babies can only announce their needs by crying,
screaming, and kicking; they have no other means a t their disposal to enforce
the arrival of the desired pleasure. Bigger children can understand the situation
with their reason, they can speak, ask, demand; they can alter their position by
their own volition, can go and get what they want. . . . When a child of 3 or 4
sets u p a howl because the sweets it wants are not forthcoming or because a meal
is later than its appetite demands, we have a right to feel that it is ‘childish’.”The
authors observe that such a child will throw himself on the floor, kick his feet,
hammer with his fists, scream a t the top of his lungs and, suddenly turning
“good” again, peacefully suck his thumb or get u p as if nothing had happened.
During the tantrum he has abandoned the sensible, active attitude possible for a
growing individual and has reverted to the helpless and despairing passivity of
the infant stage.
Susan Isaacs (4)points out that in a temper tantrum a child feels persecuted by
his introjected objects and the precipitating event is a situation where the child
feels that he has lost control over an object or the situation. Kanner’s ( 5 ) advice
about handling tantrums is, “The parent should be advised that no child has
ever died or has become sick of a temper tantrum. It is a t the same time of great
importance for the physician to be careful wherever caution is indicated; stren-
uous shouting and kicking is certainly harmful to a child with a decompensated
heart. Here a t least for the time being the management of the cardiac condition
far outweighs the handling of the emotional disturbance. On the whole however
no danger is involved in the practice of waiting calmly till the storm is over. The
habit of giving in should by all means be discouraged. Compliance. . is the .
surest way to maintaining the temper tantrum tendencies in a child. A youngster
of any age and any degree of intelligence will soon learn to give u p his rages if
he has been sufficiently impressed with their futility as a means of obtaining his
wishes or gaining attention. . . . The best mode of procedure is to leave the child
alone until he has become calm. The child who has a tendency to destructiveness
during such outbursts will best be removed to a place in the house where break-
ables are not within easy reach.”
* Presented at the 1944 meeting.
238
 ELISABETH R. GELEERD 239

The advice given in the Encyclopaedia of Child Guidance concurs in general

with Kanner’s views but also stresses that neurotic tendencies in parents or edu-
cators may prevent a good adjustment of the child. Susan Isaacs (6) suggests
handling the temper tantrum with kindness and understanding. She explains
that according to the English school of psychoanalytic thinking, the child pro-
jects his own feelings of hatred and greed onto the mother or nurse and fears
that she will attack him and eat him up. Bradley (7) mentions temper displays
occurring when the solitary pursuits of the schizophrenic child are interrupted.
Louise Despert (8) mentions severe temper tantrums under her symptomatology.
In this paper several cases will be described where the temper tantrum could
not be handled with firmness. These cases are relatively rare and were observed
in the Southard School a t different times over a period of years. An attempt will
be made to give a dynamic explanation of the tantrum and the procedure of
handling. The author hopes to make clear that “temper tantrum” is a general
name which has been used to describe several distinguishable types of tantrums.
How it should be handled depends on its type, which, in turn, is closely con-
nected with the maladjusted structure of the child. All cases described had no
organic disability which could account for the outbreaks.

Case A: A 73 year old boy was brought to the Southard School because of lack
of concentration in school, inability to get along with other children, and un-
acceptable anal and sexual behavior. We observed that he showed great interest
in all women, had the ability to admire and say flattering things in a very mature
fashion, and always managed to have close bodily contact with them. It was soon
observed that he had to have his way constantly and would never accept the
slightest suggestion. When an issue arose he would become furious and shout,
kick, spit, and swear. His facial expression would change completely, his eyes
become wild, and he would throw objects without regard of what they were or
whether he hurt anyone.
This child spent a great deal of his time playing with toy motor cars, or fan-
tasying that he was a motor car. H e imitated noises of a motor very realistically
and even pretended to shift gears when climbing a hill or going upstairs. T o all
interruptions of these fantasy games he would react with outbreaks of anger.
When he had to share the attention of an adult with another child, he would in-
variably feel that the other child had slighted or wronged him and would start
attacking this child. If the adult intervened, he would turn against the adult and
react with a severe outbreak of anger.
In classes he could accept no suggestion from his teacher. H e was of high in-
telligence, but could only learn through private tutoring and this was accom-
plished only with great difficulties. H e had to have his own way constantly and
fantasied during the greater part of his class. When the teacher attempted to get
him to do some work his anger was aroused and invariably became more and
more intense, though she had been instructed not to insist on what she wanted
him to do if he became angry. Instead of quieting down when the provocation
,240 TEMPER TANTRUMS

ceased, he would continue to work himself up and attack the teacher physically,
bite, kick, throw objects, destroy whatever came to his hands, such as his work-
book and pencils, and shout “Get out! Don’t you dare! Leave off!” mixed with
gross swear words.
He rejected doctors and their physical treatment completely. When a doctor
once had to give him an injection, he became so wild that his behavior was de-
scribed as psychotic. Four men had to hold him because he kicked and threw
everything around; he spat and screamed and swore.
It soon became obvious that handling his temper tantrums in the routine way
by isolation and removal of dangerous articles only made the attack worse. How-
ever, it was striking in these episodes that when an adult (preferably a woman)
with whom he had a good relationship and who was not connected with the pre-
cipitating incident, talked to him affectionately and put her arms around him,
he always quieted down. H e would then tell this person about the wrongs he
thought had been done him, adding that nobody loved him, everybody destroyed
his belongings on purpose or stole them from him. To prove this he would recount
past episodes of slight injuries done him, exaggerating greatly.
I n analytic treatment sessions this behavior became even more striking be-
cause there was no provocation from the outside to arouse his aggressive be-
havior. I n one session he began by playing with the telephone although he knew
that the analyst did not like him to do so. Then he had to go to the bathroom
and on his return he carried a cup of water which he emptied over the analyst.
H e opened her purse, took out the rouge compact and smeared rouge over her
dress and the furniture. When she tried to get him to give it up, he ran with
the purse to the bathroom and locked the door. When the analyst unlocked the
door, he threw himself into his usual tantrum, shouting “Get away!” “Get out!”
“Stop hurting me!” meanwhile throwing water and articles with a very wild
expression on his face.
This episode made it clear to the analyst that the temper tantrum was a break
with reality. One occurred when, either in fantasy or in reality, he felt that he had
lost control of the situation. Such a situation arose in his analysis when his own
impulses (which he projected onto the analyst) threatened to overcome him. He
needed this feeling of being in control as a defense against a fantasy of physical
harm being done to him. I n classes he did not resent the school work as much as
he did having the teacher in an authoritative position. This meant to him that
he did not have control over her and that she could therefore do dangerous things
to him. Similarly, in the analysis, he indicated through a great deal of material
that physical injury was being done to him and others. His anxiety broke through
in the form of temper tantrums, during which he really believed that physical
harm was being done him.
Though he apparently treated women in a very mature fashion it soon became
evident that what he wanted was a close bodily contact with one adult, prefer-
ably a woman, and that this had little sexual meaning. It was the same wish
shown by very young children who are happiest when they are held by mother
 ELISABETH R. GELEERD 241

or nurse. There was a phase in the analysis where he would be in the analyst’s
arms during the entire hour and attempt to suck her hands and arms, as well as
her clothes.
Emotionally this child was under two years old as was shown in his inability
to dress himself, and in the fact that he could not get along in any group nor with
any child. His behavior was that of the very young child who reacts with intense
jealousy when he must share the attention of his mother or nurse.
Case B: A boy, aged 10when admitted to the Southard School. There was a
lifelong history of inability to get along with other children, extreme demands for
love and attention, poor school record in spite of good intelligence, and a period
of hallucinations after he had seen a spy movie. I n many ways this child showed
the same picture as Case A. H e had to have one adult with him all the time; he
had to have his own way and, when thwarted, would kick and scream uncoordi-
nately, throw objects, and attack the person he thought had wronged him.
It was interesting to observe his reaction when he mislaid some article. H e would
kick and scream, without looking for the object, and accuse those around him of
having taken it. On one occasion he had made a clay animal with which he pldyed
so intensely that he became annoyed when it was time for him to attend a class.
He attacked the teacher furiously, yelled, called her names, threw chairs, etc.
This teacher, who was new and had not as yet accepted our advice on how to
handle a tantrum, told him she would not stand for such behavior and would
report him. This made him so much worse that she decided to take his clay animal
away until he had stopped “being bad.” H e started to cry bitterly, screaming,
“Murderer,” “You are a thief,” “She is stealing my dog.” H e quieted down only
when a person entered with whom he had a good relationship and who put her
arms around him lovingly. H e immediately told her how the teacher had stolen
his clay animal; how a recreational worker he once had used to threaten him;
how the boys in another school always ganged u p on him, etc.
This child brought out in his analysis that he believed all people were going to
kill and choke him. H e dreamed this recurrently. H e had many fantasies of
being the strongest and cleverest person in the world. It seemed that he had to
have these fantasies to prevent his strong anxieties about being killed from
breaking through. This child, like the first one described, had to have control
over every situation, except that he maintained it by ideas of grandeur. Whenever
he felt frustrated he felt he had lost this control. In his tantrums he believed that
the worst was actually taking place.
Case C: This 1 2 year old boy was brought in because he had been a problem
since his second year of life, when a sibling was born. H e never could fit in a
schoolroom or play group situation, spent the greater part of his time daydream-
ing, did not do very well scholastically in spite of his excellent intelligence, was
very cruel to animals and people, and had violent tantrums.
H e teased younger or weaker children (he was the older of two brothers).
Invariably an adult had to protect a younger child from him which made him
142 TEMPER TANTRUMS

very angry. H e would twist his face in ticlike fashion, the expression of his eyes
changed dramatically, and he would pick up the first dangerous object he could
reach and attack the child and the intervening adult furiously. He often scratched
the skin of his neck until it bled, or bumped his head in a self-punishing gesture,
or ran off and tried to throw himself under a car. These attacks would last for
hours if not handled properly. The same kind of tantrum would happen when he
was asked to interrupt some activity like drawing or listening to his radio. Some-
times he would announce early in the morning that he felt as if he were going to
have a tantrum. This feeling may have been caused by a bad dream during the
night.
He, also, responded best during a temper tantrum to kind, loving words and
gestures which proved to him that he was loved and that no one wanted to hurt
him. He would gradually quiet down and start summing up all the wrongs that
had been done to him by boys in school, his mother, recreational workers, and
teachers. At home, his mother had treated him punitively when he had tantrums.
In his analysis it became very clear that when his tantrums started by his
teasing another child they were always a repetition of his relationship with his
mother and the competition with his brother and father for her love. This became
clear after the following episode. The boy had become very attached to a young
recreational therapist and sought her company all the time, kissing her in a child-
ish manner. One morning he refused to come to her class and then began to hit
her, shout, swear, and call her a doublecrosser. H e tried to ruin the tires of her
car. It was difficult to get into contact with him, but in the end he told how she
had snatched a report from him that same morning in the presence of one of his
“enemies” who had laughed and said, “Yes, you cannot have it.” (This boy was
his enemy by virtue of being stronger than some other boys but had always
been very friendly to C.) Investigation proved, however, that this scene had
never taken place, and must have been either a dream or hallucination. What had
really taken place was that the analyst had refused to show him a report some
weeks before. During that time he had also expressed some anger a t another child
whom he thought the analyst preferred. Thus the extreme fury a t the recreational
worker was a displacement directed a t the analyst whom the patient always
compared with his mother.
The picture of this boy’s tantrums was complicated by his acts of self-destruc-
tion. The same was observed in the next case.

Case D: Admitted to the School a t the age of 12. There was a long standing
history of his inability to get along with other children, bed-wetting, destructive-
ness, disobedience, temper tantrums, stealing, and fire-setting. This boy wanted
to spend all his time eating candy, listening to the radio while masturbating,
going to the movies, and reading funny books. Attempts to interrupt these activi-
ties were met with great obstacles and very often a severe tantrum. H e would
swear grossly, destroy furniture, smash lamps and windows, tear up his best
toys, even his radio of which he was extremely fond, and his clothes. Or he would
 ELISABETH R. GELEERD 243

make a suicidal attempt. Only a person with whom he had a good contact, whom
he trusted and knew was fond of him, could bring him out of these stages of rage
and self-destruction. When it was all over he would accuse himself of being hope-
less and worthless. This boy always believed that everybody was against him
and would do things to hurt him or make him unhappy.

Case E: A 6 year old boy was brought to the School because of incontinence
of urine and feces, inability to get along with other children, lack of concentra-
tion, stubbornness, destructiveness, and temper tantrums. H e also showed poor
judgment, would enter the homes of strangers, or climb on dangerous places, or
cross the street without looking where he went. In the Southard School temper
tantrums were seldom observed. He was a very affectionate, tender child and
easily attached himself to the mature, maternal women around him. The soiling
and wetting diminished considerably in about a year. His behavior became more
mature and his concentration increased, but when the person taking care of him
had to leave, he regressed completely. H e ran around like a wild man through
the school, ran away, soiled and wet again. No direct tantrums were observed,
and he gradually regained his better adjustment when his former companion re-
turned and resumed her routine. Later, however, when the analyst decided it
was better for him to be transferred to a man for treatment because he had only
women in his immediate environment, he reacted to the threatened separation
with a severe tantrum. Only when the analyst assured him of her love for him
did he quiet down. Some tantrums were again observed when he heard that his
own mother had to take some young children in her home.
The temper tantrums next described are more commonly observed, and require
a different method of handling.

Case R: A 10year old school girl, a mental defective, was brought to the School
because of some indication that she might be a case of pseudodebility. She left
the School again when the diagnosis was definitely established. Whenever she
was frustrated she would kick, shout, swear, and throw objects. It was observed
that even in her worst behavior she was careful not to hurt anyone or to break her
own or somebody else’s glasses. This girl felt very inferior and justifiably so
because of her lack of intelligence. She was big and strong for her age and had a
very loud voice; these were the only weapons a t her disposal to help her compete
with others. Whenever she was denied a wish or had to interrupt some socially
unacceptable act she reacted with a tantrum. T o quiet her, a t first the technique
of gentle and loving words was used, but to no avail. In her case it only increased
the tantrum; for her this meant that people were afraid of her and that she was
winning through superior force. Strictness and isolation were the means to bring
her back to normal. However, in spite of her low intelligence, this girl remained
in contact with reality and knew exactly how far she could go. A consistent atti-
tude in handling, with withdrawal of privileges when she misbehaved, and reward
and praise for good behavior, decreased the number of tantrums considerably.
144 TEMPER TANTRUMS

The two following cases did not have tantrums a t the time of the author’s
observation, but they reported in their analyses that they had had them in
childhood.

Case S: An adolescent girl who came to the School because of difficulties a t

home and in school; she remembered that a t age 4 and 5 she had had tantrums.
In describing them she said, “You know it was not like those of A, B, C, and D;
they don’t seem themselves anymore; when I had my tantrums I always knew
what I was doing.” Tantrums occurred in situations of frustration and when she
felt that her brother had more privileges that she had. Her tantrums were han-
dled a t home by isolation and firmness and she soon gave them up. However, the
unfavorable circumstances which gave her a feeling of being rejected were still
present and caused great difficulties in adjustment later on.

Case T: A woman in her twenties, with a mixed neurosis, described violent

tantrums as one of the outstanding features of her childhood. She had been a
very demanding child to whom each frustration by her mother seemed to mean
that her siblings were more loved. Her tantrums were an expression of despair
about this and of her aggression toward her mother. T o control her, the mother
had applied the technique of holding her under the cold water faucet. The tan-
trums were a reaction to the mother’s actual rejection. The patient learned to
control her tantrums, but became a shy, passive, withdrawn person whose be-
havior was determined by a harsh superego.
DISCUSSION
It seems to the author that there are qualitative differences in the tantrums of
the cases A, B, C, D, E, and those of R, S, and T. The former have never devel-
oped past the stage of the early infant-mother relationship, or have regressed to
this stage. They only function well so long as they feel that they have the undi-
vided attention of one adult who is a mother figure. When these children feel
deserted by a mother figure they resort to the outburst of the young baby, the un-
coordinated attack of crying and screaming. As has been pointed out, this occurs
when they feel they have lost control of the situation. Ferenczi (9) suggests that
young babies have omnipotence of thought. The necessity to have control over
every situation, as demonstrated in cases A and B, may be an argument for the
contention that these children are emotionally a t a very immature stage of libid-
inal development. It is known that fantasies of having control over situations
and people are closely related to fantasies of omnipotence. These children have
a very vivid fantasy life, as is also shown in their strong tendency to daydream.
To the observer it appears that their fantasy life has a stronger hold and more
attraction than the reality of everyday life. Their weak hold on reality (as com-
pared to that of the normal child) seems to be maintained as long as they feel
secure in the love of a mother figure. As soon as a slight frustration occurs or is
fantasied or provoked by themselves, they feel no more loved and fantasies of
 ELISABETH R. GELEERD 245

persecution and attack break through and are experienced as reality. Reassur-
ance of a loving mother figure then brings them back to reality, just as the very
young child stops crying when his mother who had left returns.
The total therapy in the Southard School for these children is directed at help-
ing them to develop emotionally beyond the stage of complete dependence on a
mother figure by supplying them with this love all the time; this means the undi-
vided attention of one adult, preferably a woman. Loving words and physical
contact, as with a young child, is applied when they have tantrums. Case A has
been able to develop beyond this stage with the help of analysis and a program as
described. The number and the severity of tantrums decreased gradually and then
disappeared. He was able to enter public school and, though still neurotic, has
been returned home. The other cases are still under treatment. The characteristics
of tantrums of this type are the break with reality, the paranoid ideas and the
fact that a firm attitude increases the violence of the tantrum.’
In this regard they differ qualitatively from the tantrums described in the
three last cases. There is no break with reality; there are no paranoid ideas, and
the tantrums disappear when the child is handled with a firm and consistent
attitude. However, these tantrums are also an expression of unhappiness and
maladjustment. Therefore, the interpersonal relationships of this type of child
have to be studied carefully and subsequently revised. In addition, these children
also may need psychotherapy or child analysis. It should be borne in mind that
even if the untreated child gives up the tantrums, he does not “grow out” of
them; often a later neurosis will be the result.

CONCLUSION
Most text books on child-management recommend a firm, consistent though
kindly attitude in the handling of tantrums.
It is the purpose of this paper to point out that this attitude is not successful
with those cases in which the child‘s emotional development is fixed a t a very
infantile level. It is successful with children who have progressed to the stage
where they have a firm grasp on reality and are able to appraise the attitude of
the adult.
Although a tantrum in a child who has the ability to verbalize his needs and
wishes is a symptom of regression to babyhood, it does not always indicate that
the child’s emotional development is fixed on that level. For example, a situation
to which the child‘s limited experience and vocabulary were not adequate might
produce a tantrum in a comparatively normal child. More frequently, however,
we see tantrums in a somewhat maladjusted child who is trapped in a situation
which caused his maladjustment. Such a child is amenable to reason. But for
the child who is an infant emotionally, an appeal to reason is useless for it appears
to him as a withdrawal of love. To determine the correct method of handling
temper tantrums in an individual case, therefore, one must first ascertain the
In a later paper the author hopes to discuss the subject of diagnosis of these cases.
246 TEMPER TANTRUMS

level of emotional development attained as evidenced by the degree of depend-

ency and the hold on reality.
BIBLIOGRAPHY

I . Ralph B. Winn, ed., Encyclopaedia of Child Guidance. Philosophical Library, New

York, 1943. pp. 424-426.
2. ENGLISH, 0. S. and G. H. J. PEARSON. Common Neuroses of Children and Adults.
Norton, New York, 1937. p. 40.
3. FREUD, ANNA,and DOROTHY BURLINGHAM. W a r and Children. Ernst Willard, New
York, '943. PP. 78-79.
4. ISAACS, SUSAN.Temper Tantrums in Early Childhood in Their Relation to Internal
Objects. Internat. J. Psa. July, 1940.
5. KANNER, L. Child Psychiatry, Charles C Thomas, Baltimore, 1935. p. 283.
6. ISAACS, SUSAN.Social Development in Young Children. Routledge, London, 1937.
PP. 443-45.
7. BRADLEY, CHARLES. Schizophrenia in Childhood. Macmillan, New York, 1941. p.
I 29.
8. DESPERT, J. L. Thinking and Motility Disorder in a Schizophrenic Child. Psychiat.
Quart. 15: 522-536, 1941.
9. FERENCZI, S. Sex in Psychoanalysis. Gorham Press, Boston, 1916. p. 215.