Felicia Evelin Sianturi (17)

PPA 49

Harmful Toxic Masculinity : Don’t Standardize Men

Real men shouldn't cry. Should they? When people are asked what kind of traits
resemble a man, “weak” doesn't seem to be mentioned. Have we ever thought that all
this time we have been wrong making certain acceptable criteria for male figures? That
it's as toxic as toxic femininity? Many people don't realize or are aware yet couldn't
care less. At the point when this topic is discussed, many think it is only about a mere
dislike of men and their manliness. Essentially, the problem is not masculinity itself, but
negative and destructive characteristics of that, so it is called toxic.

Toxic masculinity is like the social ideal of masculinity where strength is all
men need, also the benchmark of manliness for them. The ideality actually comes from
the social community, which then creates standards. Men stick to those unreasonable
standards, doubting who they truly are and what their identity is relied upon to be. Like
other social standards, those standards will never be fully attained by any of men.
Consequently, men will act out as the result of feeling deficient and not adequately
manly. They often cause mischief to other people, like making a fuss, bullying other
people they think inferior, or assaulting women. Saliha Afridi, a clinical psychologist of
The Lighthouse Centre for Wellbeing Dubai, stated that on the average, men are four
times more possible to be substance abusers, four times to attempt suicide, and 11 times
to be prisoners. Obviously, men also can take part in things that can harm themselves,
do anyway to obtain the ‘ideal’ physique of a man. Those are why toxic masculinity
should be talked about, why toxic masculinity is so dangerous that everyone should stop
making standards of manliness and forcing men to live up to them.

Toxic masculinity is customary acts of male aggession used by men to dominate

people around them since they believe they have power over others. It is believed and
considered as normal conduct for men to be unemotional, forceful, financially
successful, dominant, and sexually rapacious. It is not a new concept and not just a
baseless unnecessary ‘anti-men’ propaganda. The term was started from the movement
of mythopoetic men in the 1980s and '90s, not even by women's movement at all. Toxic
Masculinity is defined as a negative or toxic form of masculinity. Just like women are
seen as more caring and empathetic, men are considered as protective.

Society creates unrealistic social norms placed on men and many of them feel
they need to act in a certain way or even overcompensate to meet those standards. Melia
Keeton-Digby, a mother-daughter and mother-son empowerment circles facilitator, said
that boys are continually conflicting inside themselves between who they truly are and
what their identity is relied upon to be. The pressure to always try guarding and
protecting creates a profound wound in their mind. Men hear words like “Men shouldn't
be emotional” or "Real Men Don’t Cry" all their life. The male gender is restricted to
the certain acceptable emotions for them to express, including the social expectation
that men should seek to be dominant.

Who feels the impact of toxic masculinity? Obviously, women. Larger cultural
issues, such as gender-based violence and sexual assault occur when men trying not to
admit weakness, act on homophobic beliefs, disregard traumas, or even exhibit
prejudiced behaviors against women. Toxic masculinity prompts violence and
demeaning of women leading to 85% of victims of domestic violence are women. Men
are often portrayed as strong heroes. There’s even the term "alpha man" describing a
man who is superpower, versatile, masculine, great in fights, cool, and heroic.
Ironically, people cherish it and make it the standard. Men are encouraged to consider
themselves superior and better than women, so women are intimidated and always feel
inferior to them. They are even reluctant to do activities that are considered only for
women. In a study by Silver (2018), one of the common things associated with the
concept of masculinity in American society is that men should avoid anything feminine
or related to women. For example, reluctance to engage in “home-based” activities that
are considered women's work, such as cooking, gardening, babysitting, or sweeping.

On the off chance that anybody thinks men like those standards, that is a serious
confusion. Men, the masculinity object, are also negatively affected by toxic
masculinity. They are not resistant to these harmful forms of manliness. Sometimes, the
environment constructed by this ideality may be unhealthier for men than for women. It
means that toxic masculinity hurts them too. They experience greater psychological
stress because it suppresses men’s emotions, which can cause emotional harm. They
also endanger their health as they impose their physique to meet the accepted "standard"
by exercising excessively and even taking steroids. Even for boys, toxic masculinity can
trigger social problems in male schoolers as they have learning difficulties and
behavioral problems.

Saliha Afridi said that from an early age, men are told to be strong, tough, and
stoic, while aggressiveness is accepted and vulnerability is seen as a weakness. They
grow up to be men who deny their sentiments, never figure out how to understand and
express their feelings and think that others should submit to them. This toxicity is hard
to get rid of because people believe that it is the nature of men, from there it should be
like that. It is simply about the absence of mindfulness toward toxic masculinity itself.
That mindset makes it seem as if women are basically weaker and inferior to men, so
that no one, even women, realizes, even though it is very dangerous.

Is it important to rethink what we have contributed to society? From this, the

reasons why harmful manliness ought to be discussed are seen. Toxic masculinity leads
to sexual harassment and one’s social flaw. It is so perilous and negatively sways the
physical and mental health of both men and women. So, we need to stop making
standards for men to cease that chain of toxicity, really.