Are Marriages actually made in heaven,

or do we have a choice?

Manohar Sivvala
Bangalore

About the Author:

Eunice de Souza (1940–2017), poet and novelist, was born in Pune, educated there and in
Mumbai and the United States. For nearly thirty years from 1969, she taught English
literature at St Xavier's College, Mumbai, retiring from there as head of the department.
'Teaching was finally about changing or modifying or touching the lives of students,' she felt.
Her first poetry collection, Fix (1979), '… hard-edged and somewhat violent, led on to three
more, Women in Dutch Painting (1988), Ways of Belonging (1990) and Selected and New
Poems (1994). With its attempts at imagistic poetry, Ways of Belonging was awarded a
Poetry Book Society recommendation in 1990. De Souza has written four collections of folk
tales.

Themes:
Gender Discrimination, Society Ideology

Review:
While analyzing the poem "Marriages are Made" by Eunice de Souza, she describes how her
sister Elena had no freedom to choose as she was forced to marry a man without her choice.
In this poem, the author describes society's checklist, which shows all the bride's qualities to
get the groom's right match. The ideology and psychologically mindset of society during that
period can be seen easily. Also, she ironically explains the nature of Indian society towards
the institution of marriage.
The poem's denomination is consequential because, for the marriage, the feelings and love
between the girl and the boy are not considered. Rather the cognition is truncated only in
monetary values. The marriage process commences from scrutinizing the girl's family history
and ascertaining her father's financial condition. Girls are only considered a commodity in
Indian society, and their marriages are a phase of being bought and exchanged in monetary
terms. Since India is a male-dominated society and ergo, the girl's decision is not taken into
consideration. This poem reflects Indian society, which does not value the importance and
freedom of choice for girls.
Eunice de Souza smashes the romantic notions of marriages as a coalescence of love and
reverence between man and woman. Hence, the style of her poem is aptly anti-romantic. She
refrains from utilizing the rudimentary poetic contrivances like simile, metaphor, assonance,
alliteration etc. She instead uses litotes, a figure of verbalization by which an affirmation is
made indirectly by gainsaying its antithesis, customarily with an effect of an understatement.
The desideratum is to potentiate women, not to burden them with the evil of dowry. It is not
about gratifying our needs through marriage but to build a strong and voracious relationship.
It is a bond between two families. It should not commence at exchanging things but
exchanging love and amity.
The title of the poem is ironic as the poem reveals that marriages are not made in heaven.
They are made on earth as convivially constructed entities. Our societies are male-dominated.
The institution of marriage in our society is additionally man-made. The poem highlights the
humiliation faced by a woman during the preparations for marriage. The poem's occasion is
the marriage of Elena, the cousin of the narrator of the poem. The formalities to be
consummated for her marriage highlight the oppression of women in male-dominated
societies. Elena has to prove herself worthy for the prospective bridegroom. Her ocular
perceivers are scrutinized for squints, and her teeth are examined for cavities. Even her
family history is examined for possible diseases and conditions. How can she be jubilant with
such a marriage? She is treated as an object, and her role in the marriage is negligible. Her
passiveness is highlighted because she (Elena) does not have any cognomen as if she does not
have any identity of her own. She is not sanctioned to verbalize or verbally express anything