Peer Review of Ayana by Abdullah

Dear Victor,

Personally, I would like to say that the purpose of my review is not to discourage you and

I am sorry if my review seems inappropriate to you. To begin with, after reviewing your draft

multiple times, I do not really understand the purpose of your project. However, the draft shows

that the project for your writing is the book The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin and you are

trying to analyze social transformation accordingly. Victor, the first thing that I would like you to

improve in your draft is to make your introduction clear. Please state what you intend to write

and how you will achieve that.

Moving on, there is a need to include rhetorical analysis in your writing. Even though

you have explained a lot in your draft regarding social transformation, religion, and racism. I

think that you need to be precise in your draft as it seems like you are writing a summary rather

than an analysis. What I have realized from your draft is that Baldwin intertwines together his

personal experiences in the book as a Black man with passionate and nuanced arguments about

how we can begin to address the country's problems with racism and racial inequality. Finally,

your draft is good and has good points, but there is a need for improvement that I have

mentioned above. Thanks

-Abdullah