The Bodyguard

Synopsis: Napoleon and the reader go undercover together, hating each other the entire
time. (Maybe not the entire time.)

“This is Y/N,” Illya said as you walked out of the dressing room, wearing a very
uncomfortable dress. You looked up at the man across from him, “The American” as
Illya always called him, and forced a smile.

“Hi,” you said, walking towards him and holding out your hand. He shook your hand
with a slight tilt of his head, surprised by the strength in your handshake.

“Napoleon Solo,” he said, still looking at you curiously.

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I’m sorry, I thought we were getting another operative to help us infiltrate Buckingham
Palace.”

“You are,” you said, answering the question that was clearly directed at Illya. “That’s
me. We just met, remember?”

“I was expecting-”

“It doesn’t matter what you were expecting because I’m what you’ve got. So, Illya’s
plan is for me to dress up as a princess from a visiting kingdom, and for one of you to
be my body-”
“Wait, you already have a plan set up?” Napoleon asked, looking at Illya incredulously.
Your eyes widened and you looked between the two men. Illya made a face to convey
that he was being rude, but you didn’t think that Napoleon cared at this point.

“Yes, I did. We had the time on the plane and I didn’t want to wa-”

“Without me?”

“You’re not the only one in this group. And if you must know, it was actually Gaby’s
idea.” The woman of interest walked back into the room, holding an armful of dresses.
You took them from her with a smile.

“Are you talking about me?” she asked, looking up at her six-foot tall boyfriend.

“Yes, actually,” he said, folding his hands behind his back, smiling slightly. “Solo here
doesn’t seem to like your plan.”

“What the matter with my plan?” she asked immediately, making both you and Illya
smile. 

“Nothing, I-”

“Well if nothing’s wrong then what is the holdup?” Napoleon put up his hands and
stuttered. 

“Nothing, I guess.” Gaby tilted her head slightly and turned around.

“Damn right,” she muttered under her breath. “Alright now let’s get you packed up,
Princess.”

“Are all of my dresses going to be this uncomfortable?”

“Probably.” She put a hand on your back and started to push you back into the
dressing room, taking a look back at Napoleon quickly. “Illya?”

“Yes?”

“I think it would be a good idea if Napoleon went undercover with Y/N this time.” The
giant smiled and looked over at his American counterpart.

“I agree.” Napoleon rolled his eyes, and you began to worry that his hatred of you
might affect your mission.

“Can you hear me?” Gaby asked through your earpiece. You touched it softly and
answered yes. Looking over at Napoleon, you could tell that he also had contact with
your two colleagues. “We’ll try to stay in contact as much as we can. Just, don’t take
off that earpiece.”

“Got it,” you said, looking over at your “bodyguard.” You pulled your hand away and
took in a deep breath.

“There’s nothing to be worried about,” Napoleon said in a suave voice.

“I’m not worried,” you said shortly. 

“Could have fooled me,” he said, fiddling with his cufflinks. You turned to look back at
him.

“You know what, I am the princess here, and you work for me. So why don’t we start
off this undercover mission by actually playing our roles.” Napoleon took in a calming
breath and nodded.

“Of course,’“ he said through clenched teeth. “Don’t blow this for us.”

“I’m not going to,” you snapped, looking back at him again. However, you had to snap
your neck back again as the doors opened and you were led into the throne room. 

“I can’t believe you asked the lord to let us share a room,” Napoleon said as he
dragged your bags into the immaculately decorated room. You flopped down on the
king sized bed and let out a sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m still in this dress.”

“No, don’t change,” Napoleon said, stopping you as you got halfway to the bathroom.

“Why not?”

“What if someone comes back? Princesses stay in these kinds of clothing all day.”

“And you would know that how?” you asked, folding your arms and jutting out your
hip. 

“Because I actually came prepared on this mission.” You groaned loudly and turned
around and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you. “Don’t forget we
have dinner later this evening.”

You didn’t come out of the bathroom for an entire hour, which made Napoleon start to
feel like shit for treating you so poorly. When you came out, he stood up immediately.

“What?” you asked, looking him up and down.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“What for?”

“The quip earlier. I didn’t mean to suggest that you didn’t do your work on this
mission.”

“It’s fine.” You sat in front of the vanity and started to work on your makeup. Napoleon
sighed and moved closer to you. 

“It’s not fine.” You put down the brush and looked back at him. 

“What?”

“We’re on a mission together and I shouldn’t have accused you of not being prepared.”

“I never knew you were such a softy, Solo,” you said with a smirk. He started stuttering
for a response, but you turned back to the mirror.

“Are you going to wear that to dinner?” you asked, drawing on your eyeliner. “We want
to impress these people, remember?” Napoleon groaned and walked into the
bathroom himself, and you smiled. 

“Are you ready?” Napoleon asked, coming out of the bathroom twenty minutes later.

“Yes. How do I look?” He looked up and lost his breath for a moment. You spun
around in your dress with a smile hoping to get a reaction other than mouth agape
from Napoleon. “Well?”

“You look stunning.” You smiled awkwardly and shrugged.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would,” he said, extending his arm. You took it reluctantly and looked into his
eyes. “Are you ready?”

“Yes! You’re both ready!” Gaby yelled in your earpieces, making you both cringe. “Go
out there!”

“Copy,” you said, turning down the earpiece. Napoleon smiled and you rolled your
eyes before leaving your room. In the hall was the lord’s servant, ready to escort you
down to the dining hall. He extended his arm to you, but Napoleon refused him.

“I’ll walk my princess down the hall,” he said in a thick accent. You smiled and walked
past the servant. Down the marble steps, and through a few more long hallways
decked with royal paintings, you made it to the dining room. Napoleon pulled out the
chair for you and gave you a reassuring nod. 
Through dinner, you talked polite politics with the lord, and tried to ignore the gazes he
kept letting fall down past your face. Napoleon stood in the corner, watching, but
unable to say or do anything. You could tell it was killing him to have you be
completely in charge of this mission. 

“How did I do?” you asked as he escorted you back to your room.

“Good.”

“I didn’t get him to break, though. I’ll just need another chance.”

“Another chance at what?”

“Getting him to let me in,” you said opening the door to your room. 

“And how are you going to do that? You didn’t exactly nail every answer.” You sat on
the bed, loosening your jewels and looked up at Napoleon.

“So when you said ‘good’ you didn’t really mean it?” 

“I just think we got everything we could out of him.”

“So you want me to give up because you don’t believe in me?”

“I never said that,” he said, leaning against the doorway. 

“Then what?”

“That lord looks at you the way no gentleman should. It’s not safe.”

“We’re spies!” you yelled, standing up. Napoleon rushed forward, grabbing your waist
and putting a hand over your mouth. 

“Shut up,” he said. You pushed his hand off of you and sighed. He waited, listening
carefully to anyone that might be outside. Another few seconds and he looked back at
you. “Alright, you were yelling about something.”

 “We’re spies,” you whispered, “Everything we do is dangerous. Who are you to tell me

what is safe and what isn’t?”

“You can’t do this.”

“You don’t know anything about me, except that I look good in this dress. So,” you
said, pushing him off of you, “Don’t try and tell me anything.” He straightened his suit
and took another step back. “I’m going to bed. We can figure out what our plan is
tomorrow.”
“Fine. Goodnight.” You didn’t reply, though. Your back was already turned, and you
were going to sleep. Napoleon went over to the couch and fell down on it, feeling
horrible.

“Hey, bodyguard, get up,” you said, dropping a pillow on Napoleon’s head. He shot up
and looked at you. You raised your eyebrows at him before walking back towards the
bathroom. 

“What time is it?” Napoleon asked sleepily.

“Eight.”

“Fuck,” Napoleon said, getting up.

“Yep.” You were already dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, going over your
notes.

“What’s your plan for the day?” Napoleon asked, quickly brushing his teeth.

“Try to get him to talk. Even if I have to use my womanly charm.” Napoleon rolled his
eyes and went back into the bathroom to spit.

“I should apologize for what I said last night.”

“No need,” you said, standing up. “I’m over it. I’m used to you getting pissed off at me.”

“Y/N-”

“It’s Princess, remember?” you said, smiling softly at him. He sighed and extended his
arm again. 

You walked back into the main hall, and the lord sat front and center. He smiled when
you walked in, and you felt Napoleon clench up. He offered to take you on a walking
tour of his grounds, and you agreed. 

He extended his arm to you, and you made sure that Napoleon was close at all times.
You started asking about his affairs and commenting on certain pieces of artwork that
he had obtained. You had reason to believe that this lord had used his connections
and know-how to connect with a criminal you were searching for.

“Ah, my dear, questions like that come at a cost greater than simple niceties,” he said
after you asked about the specifics of how he obtained a piece of stolen artwork. You
smiled and tried to laugh it off, but the way he was looking at you was making you
more than a little uncomfortable.
“Well, perhaps we can arrange that,” you said with a smile. The lord grinned and pulled
you a little bit closer. Napoleon cleared his throat, signaling that he was still here, and
you glanced back at him. 

“Well, then, why don’t you lose the bodyguard?”

“I’m afraid that won’t be allowed,” Napoleon said, stepping forward.

“Please excuse him,” you said to the lord. “He doesn’t know his place. Why don’t you
leave us alone?” you asked, looking at Napoleon.

“I’m sorry, you know I can’t do that.”

“That’s an order. Leave us,” you said, clenching your teeth.

“I cannot.” You looked back at the lord and dropped his arm. 

“Would you excuse me, please? I need to have a word with my guard.”

“Of course.” You grabbed Napoleon’s elbow and pushed him into the nearest broom
cupboard. When you stood inside it and had the door shut, your earpiece screeched in
your ear. You both turned yours off and stared at the other.

“Are you out of your mind? You’re about to blow our cover.”

“I am not going to let you go anywhere alone with him.”

“I know you’re pretending to be, but you are not my actual bodyguard.” He rolled his
eyes.

“I know.”

“Do you? Because it doesn’t seem like you trust me to do anything at all.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it? Every decision I try to make, you shoot me down. What is your problem? Do
you just hate me-” He cut you off by pushing you back into the wall, and planting his
lips on yours. You tried to mumble something but then grabbed onto the collars of his
shirt.

You were so angry at him that you didn’t even push him away. You let him kiss you,
and you kissed him back furiously, getting out all of your pent-up anger. His fingers
trailed along the fabric of your dress when you pushed him away.

“I’m-”

“Stop,” you said, putting a hand over his mouth. “We’ve been in here too long.”
“You’re right.”

“And I don’t want to hear another peep from you, understand!” you yelled with
authority. Napoleon tilted his head and you nodded towards the door. He nodded and
you kissed him again, making him smile. 

“I’m sorry, my lady,” he yelled back. You laughed softly and he pulled you close. You
started to walk towards the door, but let him kiss you once more. “To be continued,” he
said softly as you opened the door.

Napoleon jumped up when you walked back into the room, looking worried as ever.

“How did it go?”

“Great.”

“Did he say anything?”

“He has contact with our guy, but I don’t have any proof.” You sat down on the bed and
pulled off your shoes.

“So what’s the plan?” You looked over at him and smiled.

“I’m not sure yet. I figured you’d have one for me already, seeing as you always tell me
what to do.”

“I always tell you what to do, eh?” he asked, sitting down on the bed next to you.

“Yeah.”

“Do you always listen?” You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No, not always.”

“Kiss me again,” he said quietly. You looked into his eyes and leaned in softly.

“Did he just say kiss me again?!” Gaby yelled in Napoleon’s ear so loudly that you
could hear it just a foot away.

“Shit,” he said, pushing the button to silence the earpiece. “I forgot that I turned that
back on.” He leaned over and started to kiss you again. You put your hand on his
cheek and he pulled you close so that your chest was pushed up against his.

“Oh my god,” you said, pulling away. “I know the connection. I know how we can get
proof.”
“What?” Napoleon asked, looking disappointed that you had pulled away from him. 

“We had to turn the earpieces off in the closet. I’ll bet you anything that there are
hidden wires-”

“Used to connect with the buyers and sellers-”

“And our guy!” you finished excitedly. 

“You’re a genius, Y/N,” he said, turning his earpiece back on. “I’ll tell Gaby and the
Russian, and we can get out of here quickly.” You pulled the piece out of his ear and
he looked at you curiously.

“Don’t call them just yet.”

“Really?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Really,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck, and letting him pull you into
his body, and onto the bed. “I really hate working with you.”

“Right back at you, Y/N.”