Persuasive Influence

Level 1, Project 2
Purpose: The purpose of this project is to present a speech on any topic, receive feedback, and apply the
feedback to a second speech.

TITLE – It’s a GIFT

TIME – 5 to 7 Mins
EVALUATOR – Ida Sih, DTM

On a Friday afternoon, 2 years ago, I was wrapping up my tasks in the office and getting ready
to enjoy the weekend ahead. Suddenly I get a message from by boss – “Dollfuss, can we meet
later before you go home, around 4pm, I just want to give you some feedback.” And then right
there, a hundred and one thoughts rushed through my mind. What could I have done wrong?
Did I fail to do something? Am I late for a deadline that I forgot?

Funny how the word “feedback” when used in a typical day, triggers so many emotions and
thoughts in a person. Even after three years of hearing evaluations in toastmasters, even going
through the nerve wracking and tummy tumbling experience of speech contests, the word
feedback still seemed alien to me whenever it was used outside of a TM meeting. Feedback
equals reprimand. “I want to give you feedback” is a sugarcoated way of saying “you’re in
trouble my friend.”

Or so I thought.

Long story short, that fateful afternoon 2 years ago, turned into a pleasant conversational
experience. My boss asked me first if I was open to received feedback. Of course I said – Yes –
was there another acceptable answer? And then she proceeded to share with me her
observations from the past month, mainly the accomplishments she noticed, and then
mentioned a few that she thought could have been better. She explained to me the impact of
what I have done, and what I have not done well. She followed it up with a couple of
suggestions, then closed it by asking me for any inputs. Believe it or not, by that end of the
conversation, I felt so comfortable that I openly shared my opinion on the programs we were
running and ended up collaborating on ideas to make our projects better. It turns out,
feedback is not a bad thing – it helped increase my self awareness and created mindfulness of
the things and people around me.

This reminded me of a book by Janelle Barlow and Clause Meller entitled A Complaint is a Gift. I
realized then that feedback, by its purest of intentions, is a gift. Yes, feedback is a gift. Let me
share with you what the books says -

The first letter in the word GIFT is the letter G, it stands for GRATITUDE. Yes, be thankful when
someone tells you he or she is giving you feedback, because that person is intending to give you
a gift. Be thankful that you are going to hear words intended to make you better, to improve
who you are, to help you become more self aware. For anything, be thankful that the person is
giving you feedback and not resorting to social media to rant about something you’re probably
not aware of.

Second letter in GIFT is I. I stands for “I Accept” or “I Acknowledge.” Just like in receiving a
physical or material gift, you can not fully appreciate a feedback unless you actually accept it
first. Accepting or acknowledging does not mean agreeing 100% on what is told to you.
Accepting simply means opening yourself to listen and giving the feedback a chance to help
you.

The third letter in GIFT is F. F stands for “Focus on Understanding.” So usually, once we’ve
heard another person’s feedback, there’s a tendency to outrightly accept it, apologize for it, or
deny it. Sad to say, even some of our leaders nowadays receive feedback and accuse the
feedback giver as a revolutionist. Focus on understanding first, because more often than not,
a feedback’s value lies not merely on its face value, but on how relevant it is to making you
better. So focus on understanding the feedback.

Finally, the letter T. This stands for Take Action. Usually when we get a really valuable material
gift, we are moved to send a Thank You note, or to reciprocate it with a token of appreciation.
In terms of feedback, that token of appreciation comes in the form of taking an action towards
what you have learned or realized from the feedback. You can follow it through by asking for
suggestions or even getting more clarity. Perhaps you can even seek feedback from more
people, to expand your understanding and awareness.

My fellow toastmasters, I’ve learned that feedback is not negative or positive based on its
content, or based on the feedback giver. It becomes negative or positive based on our mindset
– do we take feedback as something to be scared of, something to avoid – or do we treat it as a
gift, one that you will accept and even openly seek to help you improve yourself? Feedback is a
gift. So in anticipation of later’s evaluation, I’d like to say thank you, and I promise to accept it,
to focus on understanding your message, and to take action on it for my next project.

Good evening!