SELF MANAGEMENT

ASSIGNMENT 4 – WORKBOOK 9-12

SUBMITTED TO: Sir Nabil Ehsan

SUBMITTED BY: Izza Sheikh
ENROLLMENT: 01-111212-100
CLASS: BBA 4-C
DATE OF SUBMISSION: 8/5/23
Table of Contents
WORKBOOK 9.........................................................................................................................................2
DEVELOPING A LISTENING AWARENESS:.................................................................................5
CHARACTER COMMUNICATES......................................................................................................7
EVALUATING YOUR COMMUNICATION.......................................................................................8
WORKBOOK 10.......................................................................................................................................9
VALUING DIFFERENCES..................................................................................................................9
PROFESSIONAL EXERCISE...........................................................................................................11
IMPROVING RESULTS BY VALUING DIFFERENCES...............................................................13
CAN YOU RELATE:..........................................................................................................................14
BREAKING DOWN THE BARRIERS..............................................................................................14
...............................................................................................................................................................15
PROFESSIONAL EXERCISE...........................................................................................................15
GET OVER IT! (YOUR BLOCKS TO SYNERGY).........................................................................16
WORKBOOK 11.....................................................................................................................................18
GETTING READY..............................................................................................................................18
PHYSICAL RENEWAL......................................................................................................................25
WORKBOOK 12.....................................................................................................................................27
SPIRITUAL RENEWAL.....................................................................................................................27
MENTAL RENEWAL.........................................................................................................................29
SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL RENEWAL..................................................................................................31

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WORKBOOK 9
Q1: On a scale of 1 to 4, how do you think the following people would rate your
listening skills?

Q2: Think of a time when someone didn't listen to you before prescribing an
answer. How did you feel?

I felt frustrated, ignored and invalidated.

Q3: When do you most often fail to listen to others? Why?

Sometimes I fail to listen to other people when I’m preoccupied with something or
distracted e.g. using my phone while someone’s telling me something. Other than that,
sometimes I don’t listen when I’m not interested in what the other person has to say e.g.
when my friends start talking about crypto I don’t really listen because I’m not interested
in crypto, or when I feel defensive.

Q4: Choose one relationship that you find challenging. During the week, listen,
then write your responses from conversations you have with this person.

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Determine whether your responses are advising, probing, interpreting, or
evaluating.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FRIEND

STATEMENT AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL TYPE OF

I don’t know what to do. I feel like a
complete mess right now. It’s been
days since I’ve properly slept as
whenever I close my eyes I can’t get
that sight out of my mind. I’m only
sharing these things with you because
I don’t know what else to do.
I don't know if I made the right decision
by quitting my job.
RESPONSE RESPONSE
I remember feeling similar to how you're Advising
feeling right now. When I went through a
tough time, I also had trouble sleeping and
had intrusive thoughts that wouldn't leave
me alone. I'm here to support you and help
you through this. I think you should talk to a
therapist, that helped me a lot and I’m sure
would help you too.
What made you start thinking about quitting probing
your job? What were the things that led you
to making this big decision?

Q5: At the end of the week, review your notes. How might you change your
listening next time? What would you do differently?

I would try to avoid responding with evaluating or advising statements as they can be
perceived as judgmental or dismissive of the other person’s feelings, and focus more on
probing and empathetic responses. I would also try to be more aware of my own biases
and assumptions, and actively work to set them aside to truly hear and understand my
friends' perspectives. Additionally, I would make an effort to ask open-ended questions
and actively listen to their answers without interrupting or interjecting my own thoughts
too quickly.

Q6: Think of a time when someone made the effort to really understand you and
your point of view. What was it this person said and did that made you feel
understood?

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One time I was telling a friend how hard and competitive the makeup industry is and
how sometimes some clients are really rude and disrespectful towards you or ask you to
reduce your prices even though they’re at an already discounted rate. How I always feel
as though I’m not getting enough recognition for my work. So my friend was asking me
follow-up questions to clarify her understanding and said, "That sounds really tough, I
can see why you're feeling stressed." By her responses my feelings felt validated and I
felt heard and understood which made me feel really happy.

Q7: This week pick two people and "listen" to their body language as you listen to
their words. What did you notice?

SCENARIO 1:

My class fellow giving an individual presentation.

WHAT DID I NOTICE ABOUT HIM?

When I listened to this person's body language just like I listened to his words, I noticed
signs of nervousness such as fidgeting, sweating, or avoiding eye contact. He had a
tense posture and appeared physically uncomfortable. He was hunching his shoulders
or crossing his arms. These nonverbal cues made me feel as if he was feeling anxious
or insecure and may need support and encouragement.

SCENARIO 2:

My Self-Management course teacher delegating tasks to us for our assignment.

WHAT DID I NOTICE ABOUT HIM?

I noticed that he is displaying confidence and authority in his body language, standing
straight, and speaking in a loud voice to convey the importance of the task. He was also
frequently making eye contact with us and using expressive hand gestures and had a
relaxed demeanour. He was asking follow-up questions which indicated that he wanted
to ensure that we understood the task.

Q8: Did their body language agree with their words?

SCENARIO 1:

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In this case, my class fellow’s body language may not fully agree with his words as he
was trying to present himself as confident, but his physical demeanor may suggest
otherwise.

SCENARIO 2:

Yes, his body language seems to agree with his words. Standing straight, using
expressive hand gestures and talking in a loud assignment tasks to the students. Asking
follow-up questions also shows that he is actively engaged in the conversation and
wants to ensure that everyone understands their assigned tasks.

Q9: What did you do if it didn't?

SCENARIO 1:

I approached the situation with empathy and sensitivity by first acknowledging his
feelings and concerns, and asking if there is anything specific that is causing
nervousness or lack of confidence. I encouraged him to express himself and offered him
support. I suggested him to join public speaking classes or online tutorials in order to
build confidence and improve his abilities.

DEVELOPING A LISTENING AWARENESS:

Q10: During this week, pick a conversation that you wish you could have over
again.

a) Who was it with?

My friend, Minahil.

b) When was it?

Tuesday

c) What was the topic?

We had plans to hang out but I didn’t show up and just dropped a text as I got a
last minute makeup appointment which I couldn’t refuse to.

d) Why do you want to do it over?

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 Even though I apologized and made plans to make it up to my friend Minahil, I
feel as if I didn't fully resolve the issue or that I could have handled the situation
better. I want to make sure that Minahil understands that I didn't intentionally bail
on her and I value our friendship. I want to prevent something like this from
happening in the future and wish to communicate more effectively with her.

e) What happened?

Minahil was upset because I bailed on our plans to hangout without calling. I
apologized and explained that work came up, and thought a text was enough.
Minahil said that a text wasn't enough and that it's disrespectful. So I offered to
make it up and planned something for the weekend while also promising to call
next time.

Q11: What can you do specifically to improve your empathic listening in this
relationship?

I can practice active listening, try to understand my friend’s perspective, and validate
her feelings. Setting aside distractions and giving undivided attention during
conversations.

Q12: Write the conversation as you would like it to go using empathic listening.

Minahil: "I was really looking forward to hanging out last night. When you didn't show up and
only sent a text, I felt hurt and disrespected."

Izza: "I'm sorry for bailing on you. I understand why you're upset, and it was wrong of me not to
call you. How can I make it up to you?"

Minahil: "It would mean a lot to me if we could plan something for this weekend. And in the
future, please call me if you can't make it. That way, I won't be left waiting and wondering what
happened."

CHARACTER COMMUNICATES
Q13: What is it about me that allows others to trust me?

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People tend to trust me because I am empathic, reliable, consistent and transparent. I’m
also a good listener, maintain confidentiality and keep my promises. When one gets to
talk to me may I make sure they feel comfortable opening up to me and trusting me with
personal information. My limited circle may also indicate that I value deep connections
and I’m selective about who I trust and spend time with.

Q14: What is it about me that causes people not to trust me?

It’s possible that some people may perceive me as unapproachable due to my initial
demeanor and may be reluctant to trust me.

Q15: Is there any part of my behavior where I am running hot and cold? For
example. Are there times when I am critical of people and then in the next
moment forgiving?

There are times when I’m critical of people especially when I have delegated them a
task and they’re not working according to what I expected them to do. Or when I wanted
a task to be executed perfectly but my team members are failing to execute it perfectly.
Usually I’m very forgiving as I feel bad if I don’t forgive a person who is apologizing to
me in a genuine way. Forgiving someone makes you a better person.

Q16: Do my private actions square up with public actions? If not, why? Where are
the discrepancies?

My private actions align with my public actions as I try to maintain a strong set of
personal values and principles and strive to live by them consistently in all aspects of
my life. I also seek feedback from trusted friends or mentors who can provide valuable
insights into any areas where my actions may not be in line with my public persona. I’m
also transparent and authentic in my public interactions that can help to build trust and
credibility with others.

EVALUATING YOUR COMMUNICATION

Q17: Think of a recent phone conversation, e-mail, or face-to-face discussion
where you stated your needs first.

a) Who was it with?

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 A phone conversation with a client who was asking me to come to her place and
do her party makeup for her brother’s wedding.

b) When was it?

This week, on Thursday

c) What was the topic?

The client wanted me to come to her place in Bahria Town Phase 7 to do her
makeup for her brother’s wedding. She wanted to book an appointment with me.

d) What happened?

I told her my charges and also, that I charge extra for travelling as I have to pack
all my equipment and then travel all the way to the other location.

Q18: How might the outcome have been different if you had first stated the needs
of the other person first?

She told me that she can’t travel to my location (satellite town Rawalpindi) as she has a
newly born son and she can’t leave him alone. She didn’t tell me this at the beginning
which is why I was reluctant to travel and go to her place as it was only one makeup
appointment. If she explained her needs first, I would have been more empathic.

Q19: Did you communicate your ideas and logic clearly and specifically? If not,
write them down below.

I did communicate why extra charges are required if I travel to her place and how there
won’t be any discounts offered as there is only one makeup appointment.

Q20: How might the outcome have been different had you clearly and specifically
communicated your ideas?

I clearly communicated my idea and got the outcome I wanted.

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WORKBOOK 10
VALUING DIFFERENCES
Q1: Circle the number from I to 5 that most closely represents your normal
behaviour or attitude regarding the statement to the left. When you have
answered all the questions, add up your total and check your score.

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 PROFESSIONAL EXERCISE

Q2: Write name of a person you work with: Ms. Maheen (owner of brand Lamanial
Beauty) who has employed to create content for her brand)

In the area below, write the qualities this person possesses.

1. Talents/abilities (organized, knowledgeable, assertive, artistic,

programmer, recruiter, writer, etc.)

Ms. Maheen is an exceptional communicator, with a keen eye for detail. She has
a talent for developing unique and innovative makeup products that resonate with
her customers. She also has exceptional marketing skills that help her brand
stand out in a crowded market. Her keen eye for detail ensures that her products
are of the highest quality and are produced ethically. Her creativity and outside-
the-box thinking never fails to amaze me, and she is always willing to listen to
new ideas and perspectives. Her ability to cultivate a positive company culture
and motivate her team is an asset to her business. Overall, she is an incredibly
talented and inspiring leader.

2. Background (education, race, gender, socioeconomic status, where he or

she grew up, etc.)

Ms. Maheen 27 years old, female, Muslim, married and has graduated with an
MBA degree in Marketing from LUMS. She belongs from Islamabad, Pakistan.

3. Interpersonal skills (listener, communicator, speaker, teacher, mentor, role

model, etc.)

As a business owner and manager, Ms. Maheen possesses excellent

interpersonal skills. She is a good listener and communicator, able to convey her
ideas clearly and effectively. She is also a skilled speaker and teacher, able to
impart knowledge and motivate her team members. Ms. Maheen serves as a
mentor and role model to her employees, helping them grow both professionally

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 and personally. Overall, she is highly respected by her team for her strong
interpersonal skills.

4. Character traits (sense of humour, micromanager, reliable, honest, diligent,

opinionated, etc.)

Ms. Maheen seems to be a hardworking and ambitious person, as evidenced by

her education and her ownership of a makeup brand. Her role as a mentor to the
content creator suggests that she values teaching and guiding others. It is also
possible that she values honesty and reliability as important traits, given her
profession in the beauty industry where transparency and authenticity are key.
Not to forget, she has a great sense of humor. She always makes people feel at
ease.

5. How different is this person from you?

I’m a content creator working for her and I’m primarily focused on creative and
artistic aspects of the work, such as doing creative makeup looks using the
brand’s products, designing content, and developing a personal brand. On the
other hand, a business owner like Ms. Maheen is responsible for the overall
management of the company, including financial, legal, and marketing aspects.
While both roles require certain skills and expertise, they involve different types
of responsibilities and require a different mindset and approach.

6. How could these differences contribute to accomplishing a common

purpose?

Differences between me and Ms.Maheen like our different backgrounds, skills,

and perspectives could lead to more diverse and creative ideas for the makeup
brand. Ms. Maheen's business acumen and my artistic skills as a content creator
can complement each other to develop and execute marketing strategies
effectively. Additionally, our different perspectives could lead to better decision-
making by considering various angles and possibilities. By working together, we
can leverage our differences to achieve the common goal of promoting and
growing the makeup brand.

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 IMPROVING RESULTS BY VALUING DIFFERENCES

Q3: Think of a gathering or conversation, where you were present, during which
ideas were shot down and answer these questions:

While I was working as a social media manager with a PR company, a group of

employees proposed an idea to change the way the company handles its marketing
strategy. Majority dismissed the idea.

1. When you first rejected the idea, what was it that turned you off? Was it the
idea itself? The deliverer, or the way in which it was delivered? Did you
dislike the idea because it wasn't yours?

I rejected the idea because of the idea itself and not because it wasn’t mine as I
always encourage those who come up with creative ideas. I even encouraged
these employees for putting in effort. My reason to reject it was that I felt it was
not aligning with the company’s brand image and wasn’t relevant to our target
audience as being the social media manager, I had a great knowledge about
these things.

2. What is your inner monologue saying? Is it saying, "That won't work” ,

"You're nuts," or "We've never done it that way before"?

As a social media manager in the company, my inner monologue was saying

"That idea doesn't align with our brand's voice and values," and "That idea
doesn't seem to be relevant or engaging to our target audience." I was also
thinking about potential risks or negative consequences associated with the idea,
such as backlash or low engagement as my goal was to ensure that our social
media content is effective, relevant, and aligned with our brand's goals and
values.

3. If this was a work (team) situation, was there a "mob mentality" at work?
Did the group quickly dismiss the idea because it didn't appear to support
the group's typical way of thinking? If so, how?

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 There wasn’t any indication of "mob mentality" at work. The idea was simply
rejected based on the majority employee’s professional opinions and
experiences.

CAN YOU RELATE:

Q4: Answer following questions as true or false. Think of specific incidents in
your life before answering.

 I demand perfection from myself and everyone around me. (True)

 I am surprised when others don't like me or my ideas. (False)

 People continually make promises to me without following through. (True)

 I don't have many friends whom I really like or trust. (True)

 I get tired of all this political correctness. I don't have to like everyone.

(True)

 I don't appreciate other people's opinions of me. (False)

 I don't like change. (False)

 I work better alone than in groups. (False)

 I tend to be more negative than positive. (False)

 I'm afraid people will find out that I'm not what I appear to be. (True)

BREAKING DOWN THE BARRIERS

Q5: Circle the number from 1 to 5 that most closely represents how often you use
synergy producers. When you have answered all the questions, add up your total
and check your score

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 PROFESSIONAL EXERCISE

Q6: Choose a relationship or issue where you would like to work toward a more
synergistic end.

A. Define the problem or opportunity.

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 The problem is that there is a lack of communication and collaboration between the
marketing team and the sales team in our company, which is resulting in missed
opportunities and decreased revenue.

B. Listen to the other person.

I listened to the sales manager's perspective, and he believes that the marketing
team is not producing effective campaigns that drive sales.

C. Share your views.

I shared my views on the importance of working together and developing a cohesive

strategy that addresses both teams' goals and objectives.

D. Brainstorm options together. (3 lines)

We brainstormed options together, such as creating a joint task force to develop a

shared strategy, conducting joint training sessions to improve communication, and
establishing regular check-ins to ensure alignment.

E. Find the best solution together. (5 lines)

Together, we decided to implement the joint task force approach, with a team of
representatives from both marketing and sales working together to develop a
comprehensive strategy that addresses both teams' objectives. We agreed to
monitor progress regularly and adjust the strategy as needed to achieve our shared
goals.

Q7: How did the new approach feel? Was it difficult for you? What steps will you
take to ensure that you will continue to use this approach in the future?

The new approach felt empowering, as we were able to find a solution together that we
both agreed on. It was not too difficult for me, as I am used to working collaboratively
and valuing different perspectives. To ensure that I continue to use this approach in the
future, I will make a conscious effort to actively listen to others' perspectives and
actively seek out opportunities for collaboration and teamwork. I will also ensure that I

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communicate clearly and effectively to build trust and foster positive working
relationships.

GET OVER IT! (YOUR BLOCKS TO SYNERGY)

Q8: In your life, have you found that there are people who drive you nuts or
irritate you? Who are they? What do they do that irritates you?

WHO WHAT
My He constantly leaves his dirty laundry on the floor of our shared room,
younger even after I ask him multiple times to pick it up and put it in the hamper.
brother It irritates me as it makes the room messy
My friend, One of my pet peeves is when people are always late and Aiza is
Aiza notorious for showing up late to our coffee dates. It's not just a few
minutes, but sometimes she's over an hour late without even sending a
message.
My He has a habit of talking loudly during lectures. Even when the professor
classfellow is speaking, he will sometimes speak to the person next to them at a
volume that is just loud enough to be heard over the lecture.

Q9: Look at each of the things you found irritating. What kinds of issues are
they? Character issues (lack of integrity or discipline)? Competence issues
(unable to do the job)? Cultural issues? Personality issues? Personal pet
peeves? Now determine where you have direct control, indirect control, or no
control.
Choose one issue from each area. How can you affect the synergy for each
situation?
1. DIRECT CONTROL

My brother leaving his dirty laundry on the floor is a personal pet peeve, and I have
direct control over this situation. I can talk to him directly and explain why it bothers me,
and we can come up with a plan to keep the room clean together.

2. INDIRECT CONTROL

My friend Aiza being constantly late to our coffee dates is a personality issue, and I
have indirect control over this situation. While I can't change her personality, I can

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suggest meeting at a different time or place that might work better for her schedule, or I
can communicate how her lateness affects our plans.

3. NO CONTROL

The classmate who talks loudly during lectures has a competence issue, and I have no
direct control over this situation. However, I can bring it to the professor's attention, who
has more authority to address the issue and create a more conducive learning
environment for everyone in the class.

Always put yourself in the other person's shoes. Many of the "truths" you cling to
are simply a result of one point of view yours.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together
is success.

WORKBOOK 11
GETTING READY

Q1: Let your conscience guide you as you work through the next four pages of
checklists. Being self-aware will help provide an assurance that the renewal plan
you come up with in this section will be right for you.

PHYSICAL CHECKLIST:

Check only the items to which you can truthfully answer yes.
I stay informed and current on both health and fitness information.

I exercise twenty to thirty minutes at least three times a week.

 I am fully aware of my need for vitamins and minerals.

I increase or maintain a strength program.

I include cardiovascular and flexibility activities in my exercises.

 I get the proper amount of sleep.

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  I rest or relax when my body needs it.

I eat junk food less than twice a week.

 I have an effective, positive way of dealing with stress.

I centre my diet on a researched plan that fits my needs and goals.

SPIRITUAL CHECKLIST:

Check only the items to which you can truthfully answer yes.
 I have defined what my values are, and I plan and live my life accordingly.

 I have created my mission statement. I rely on it to• give vision to my purpose

in life.

 I find daily renewal through meditation, prayer, study, or reflection.

 I frequently spend time in a place where I find spiritual renewal, e.g., in nature, a

mosque, a chapel, a temple.

 I live with integrity and honour.

 I keep my heart open to the truth.

 I am able to take a stand or tell the truth, even when opposed by others.

I frequently serve others with no expectations of any type of returned favour.

 I can identify which things in life I can change and which things I cannot. I let go

of the things I cannot change.

 I can connect to my inspirational guide as needed.

MENTAL CHECKLIST

Check only the items to which you can truthfully answer yes.
 I read books and other publications regularly.

I keep a journal or some sort of log, or engage in a regular writing process.

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  I allow music, silence, or some sort of relaxation exercise to clear my mind on a

daily basis.

 I challenge my mind through puzzles, problem solving, or games.

 I have a hobby.

 I continue my education either formally or informally.

 I engage in meaningful dialogue at least once a week.

 I visualize projects and plans so I have the end result in mind to guide the

process.

 I have a system to retrieve information when I need it.

 I use a system to plan and organize my time and efforts.

SOCIAL/ EMOTIONAL CHECKLIST:

Check only the items to which you can truthfully answer yes.
 I am reliable and dependable.

 I have a hopeful outlook on life.

 I am trusting and supportive of people in my Circle of influence.

 I listen to others and hear what they have to say rather than thinking of what I

want to say.

 I reach out to others and am empathic.

 I maintain my most important relationships.

 I sincerely apologize when I need to.

 I can persevere through the "hard times."

 I am aware of what it means to take good care of myself

 I can control my impulses-cool down and act rather than react to people and
situations.

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Q2: Do you see areas where you are already doing well?

Yes and I appreciate myself for that. I want to continue making myself perform better in
those areas.

Q3: How about areas where you could use some help?

I need to focus on my physical wellbeing and I can start by setting specific fitness goals
and creating a plan to achieve them. I can also consider hiring a personal trainer or
joining a fitness class to stay motivated and on track. Additionally, focusing on healthy
eating habits and getting enough sleep can also improve my physical well-being.

Q4: If you could choose five things to do that would nourish your soul, what
would they be?

 Spending time in nature, whether it's hiking in the mountains, walking on the
beach, or just sitting in a park and enjoying the scenery.
 Engaging in creative activities such as painting, writing, or playing music, which
allow me to express myself and tap into my innermost thoughts and feelings.
 Practicing mindfulness and meditation, which help me to stay grounded and
present in the moment, and cultivate a sense of inner peace and tranquility.
 Connecting with loved ones, either through deep and meaningful conversations,
or simply spending quality time together, which fills me with a sense of belonging
and connection.
 Engaging in acts of service or volunteer work, which allows me to give back to
my community and make a positive difference in the world, and in turn, leave me
feeling fulfilled and purposeful.

Q5: What makes those five things nourishing to you?

These five things are nourishing to me because they help me feel connected to myself,
to others, and to the world around me. They provide a sense of meaning and purpose,
help me to feel centered and grounded, and give me a sense of joy and fulfillment.

Q6: What is cluttering your life?

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Some unfinished projects and my disorganized room is cluttering my life. These days
I’m feeling really overwhelmed as I’m feeling a lot of negative emotions and excessive
thoughts that are troubling me.

Q7: What keeps you awake at night?

What keeps me awake at night these days is a difficult decision that I’m trying to make
but cannot seem to come to a conclusion about. While trying to sleep, I’m often
weighing the pros and cons of each option and struggling to determine which path to
take, leading to restlessness and insomnia.

Q8: What did you enjoy doing as a child?

Playing with dolls or stuffed animals, dressing them up, and creating different storylines
or scenarios for them to act out.

Q9: Remember a time when you were truly happy. What did it feel like? How can
you feel that way again?

The time when I went to perform Umrah for the first time. It was a surreal feeling, seeing
the Holy Kabah infront of my eyes for the first time and seeing all the places where our
Prophet (PBUH) and his companions used to be at. The experiencing was truly
something that can’t be defined in words. I pray to Allah to call me again to his house as
I want to go there again and again because I’ve never been that happy before.

Q10: How can you strengthen your relationship with a significant other?

I don’t have a significant other, but according to me communication is the key in order to
strengthen your relationship with a significant other.

Q11: What inspires you?

 Seeing people achieve their goals and dreams despite facing significant
obstacles.
 Reading books or watching movies that depict stories of personal growth,
resilience, and triumph over adversity.

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  Listening to motivational speeches or talks that offer new perspectives and
insights on life.
 Seeing acts of kindness, compassion, and generosity that remind us of the
goodness in people.

Q12: What memories can you pass on to your children about your ancestors?

Here are some examples of memories I could pass on to my children about my

ancestors:

My great-grandfather moved to Pakistan from India in 1947 with only a few dollars in his
pocket and worked hard to provide for his family. My grandfather’s brother was Dildar
Pervaiz Bhatti (30 November 1940-30 October 1994) who was a multi award-winning
Pakistani television and a radio host, college professor and a TV program announcer.
By sharing these stories with my children, I can help them understand where they come
from and inspire them with the resilience, hard work, and courage of their ancestors.

Q13: What are you doing so that your family remembers you?

I’ve created a family tradition that I initiate and participate in regularly. It is visiting my
mother and father’s aunt’s house in Faisalabad after every 3 months as she’s the eldest
figure we have in our family. It is like a family meetup and marking an attendance thing
for us so that everyone meets frequently. That is the time when no matter how much
busy anyone is, they take out time to go to Faisalabad and meet the rest of the family.
By making these traditions meaningful and enjoyable, we create lasting memories and
strengthen our family bonds.

Q14: When was the last time you really checked in with yourself?

Last night, while praying Isha Namaz. I was already feeling overwhelmed at that time
so, after saying salam, I took out the time to pause and reflect on my thoughts, feelings,
and emotions.

Q15: What would ignite the childlike sense of wonder you once had?

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To ignite the childlike sense of wonder, I can try new experiences, learn something new,
or spend time in nature. These activities can help to stimulate curiosity, creativity, and a
sense of adventure, similar to the wonder experienced as a child.

Q16: If you could build your very own retreat, what would it look like? How would
you use it?

If I could build my own retreat, it would be a cozy cabin in the mountains with a large
window overlooking a serene lake. It would be equipped with a comfortable bed, a small
kitchen, and a fireplace. I would use it as a peaceful escape to recharge and connect
with nature.

Q17: What can you do less of?

I can do less mindless scrolling on social media, less procrastinating, and less negative
self-talk.

Q18: What do you want to do more of?

Spending more time in nature, such as going on hikes, walks, or camping trips. This can
provide a sense of peace and tranquility, as well as an opportunity to disconnect from
technology and connect with the natural world.

Q19: What is complicating your life right now?

Maintaining a balance between my work and my studies. Sometimes one of them gets
neglected due to the other. I want to focus on them both and take them side by side,
achieving success in both.

Q20: How can you simplify it?

One way to simplify it would be to create a schedule and prioritize tasks for both work
and studies. Additionally, delegating tasks when possible and setting realistic
expectations for myself can also help simplify the workload. Finally, practicing self-care
and taking breaks when needed can improve my focus and productivity.

Q21: Are you saying yes when you really want to say no? To what? To whom?

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I have a friend who constantly asks for my help with various tasks or projects, but I’m
already feeling overwhelmed and would rather focus on my own priorities. However, I
continue to say yes to their requests because I don't want to disappoint them or seem
unhelpful. Also, I’d feel really bad saying no.

PHYSICAL RENEWAL

If you're struggling for ideas, refer back to your checklist on pages 13-15. Would
one of the unchecked items be a good place to start?

Q22: What does your body need for renewal?

Renewing the body requires proper rest, hydration, nourishment through a healthy diet,
regular exercise to keep the body active and strong, and taking breaks to relax and
destress. Additionally, practicing mindfulness techniques like meditation or deep
breathing exercises can also aid in the renewal of the body by reducing stress and
promoting relaxation.

Q23: Is there some activity you've seen other people doing that you'd like to try?

One activity I've seen other people doing that I'd like to try is rock climbing. I've always
been fascinated by the challenge and the physical and mental strength required to scale
a rock face. I have friends who regularly go rock climbing and they seem to enjoy it a
lot. I'm excited to give it a try myself and see if I have what it takes to climb to the top.

Q24: Do you want to learn more about nutrition?

Yes, as learning more about nutrition can be beneficial for me as I want to improve my
health and wellbeing and get rid of unhealthy eating habits. By gaining knowledge about
proper nutrition, I can make more informed choices about my food and develop healthy
eating habits. This can also help prevent certain health conditions and diseases, such
as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.

Q25: Do you want to learn more about fitness?

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Yes, as fitness is an essential aspect of maintaining good health, and learning about it
can help me make informed decisions about my physical well-being. By understanding
the principles of fitness, I can create effective exercise plans tailored to my goals and
needs which will help improve my overall health and quality of life.

Q26: Make a list of activities you think would enhance the physical dimension of
your life and bring renewal. List things you are sincerely interested in. Putting
down "go to the gym" when you know you hate it and won't do it isn't going to
move you forward! List your ideas for physical renewal activities:

 Hiking in nature trails and exploring scenic views

 Taking dance classes to learn new moves and get a good workout
 Practicing yoga or pilates for physical and mental rejuvenation
 Trying out water sports such as kayaking, surfing, or paddleboarding
 Taking up martial arts classes to improve strength, flexibility, and balance.

Q27: Choose one activity from your list that really fits your current needs. Write it
as an affirmation. For example, you might state your plan like this: “I will research
my nutritional options for ten days.”

"I will commit to practicing yoga twice a week for the next month to improve my physical
and mental well-being."

Q28: How will you evaluate your progress?

I will practice yoga twice a week for the next month, focusing on building strength and
flexibility. I will evaluate my progress by tracking how many classes I attend and how I
feel physically and mentally after each class. I will also set a goal to hold certain yoga
poses for longer periods of time to measure my progress in building strength and
endurance.

WORKBOOK 12

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 SPIRITUAL RENEWAL

Record your thoughts and the answers to the following questions:

Q1: Which endeavours will stimulate and inspire you as well as tie you to what
you value most?

 Starting a side business that aligns with my passion for sustainability and eco-
friendly makeup products.
 Volunteering with a local charity organization that supports education for
underprivileged children.
 Pursuing a higher degree or certification that will enhance my skills and career
opportunities.
 Joining a community group focused on a cause I believe in, such as
environmental activism or social justice.
 Learning a new language to broaden my understanding of different cultures and
perspectives.

Q2: What types of things can you do and in what types of places can you spend
your time so you are inspired and spiritually refreshed?

Some things I can do to feel inspired and spiritually refreshed include attending
meditation or mindfulness classes, volunteering in my community, spending time in
nature, reading books on spirituality and personal growth, and practicing gratitude and
positive affirmations. As for places, I can visit spiritual retreat centers, parks and nature
reserves, art museums and galleries, and attend cultural events and festivals that
celebrate diversity and promote compassion and kindness. These activities and places
align with my personal values and provide a sense of meaning and purpose to my life.

Q3: How do you personally connect to a higher power?

As a Muslim, I personally connect to The higher power, Allah, by performing daily

prayers, reading and studying the Quran, engaging in acts of charity and kindness
towards others, and participating in religious gatherings and events. I also try to
maintain a state of mindfulness and remembrance of Allah throughout the day, by

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reflecting on His attributes and seeking His guidance and blessings in my actions and
decisions.

Q4: Do your actions align with your values?

Yes, my actions align with my values. For example, I value honesty and integrity, and I
always try to be truthful and transparent in my dealings with others. Similarly, I value
hard work and dedication, and I consistently put in the effort to achieve my goals. I also
value kindness and empathy, and I make an effort to treat others with compassion and
understanding. Finally, I value personal growth and self-improvement, and I regularly
take steps to develop my skills and expand my knowledge.

Q5: List your ideas for spiritual renewal:

 Reading the Quran and reflecting on its teachings.

 Performing daily prayers and making time for extra voluntary prayers.
 Fasting during the month of Ramadan and seeking to deepen one's
understanding of the significance of the fast.
 Going on a retreat or pilgrimage to a sacred site
 Engaging in charity or volunteer work

Q6: Which renewal idea from your list seems right for you at this time? Write it as
an affirmation. For example, if you have determined to visit the mountains several
times a month for spiritual regeneration, you might write: “I will visit the
mountains four rimes this month on the following days . . .”

"As a Muslim, I will make time for daily prayer and meditation to connect with Allah and
find inner peace."

Q7: How will you evaluate progress?

As a Muslim striving to make time for daily prayer and meditation, I can evaluate my
progress by keeping a record of my daily prayer and meditation practices. I can track
the number of times I was able to complete all of my daily prayers and the length of time
I spent in meditation. I can also pay attention to how I feel emotionally and spiritually
after each practice and assess if I am feeling more connected to Allah and experiencing

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a greater sense of inner peace. Additionally, I can seek feedback from a trusted mentor
or religious teacher to help me gauge my progress and identify areas where I may need
to improve.

Remember reading about the aspect of "conscience"? Conscience is the

endowment of being self-aware. It's a gift to know the inner callings of your
purpose.

MENTAL RENEWAL

Record your thoughts and the answers to the following questions:

Q1: Do you like solving some type of puzzle? What types?

I like solving puzzles such as jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles, Sudoku, logic puzzles,
riddles, brain teasers, and many more. Solving puzzles can be a fun and engaging way
to challenge the mind and improve cognitive abilities, memory, and problem-solving
skills. Each type of puzzle requires a different approach and strategy. Brain teasers,
Rubik’s cube and crossword puzzles are my favorites.

Q2: Have you tried to write your own poetry? What was it like?

I was writing poetry for the first time for my English Language and Writing assignment
and found it to be a challenging but rewarding experience. I enjoyed the freedom of
expression that poetry allowed me and found the process of selecting words and
constructing lines to be meditative and introspective. Ultimately, I was proud of the
poem I created and felt it accurately conveyed my emotions and thoughts.

Q3: Would you like to learn how to do simple maintenance on your car or an
appliance?

I have always been interested in learning how to change the oil in my car. So, I plan to
watch some tutorial videos online and read up on the process. My affirmation would be
"I will learn how to change the oil in my car by the end of this month by watching tutorial
videos and reading up on the process." To evaluate my progress, I would keep track of
the steps I have learned and practice changing the oil myself.

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Q4: Is there something you've always been curious about? What is it?

A topic that has always piqued my curiosity is the concept of time travel. I find myself
fascinated by the possibilities and implications of being able to travel through time,
whether it's going back in time to witness historical events or traveling to the future to
see what lies ahead. It's a concept that has been explored in many forms of media, but
I'm always interested in learning more about the scientific theories and principles behind
it.

Q5: Do you like to read or visit museums? What sorts of books? Which type of
museum?

I enjoy reading non-fiction books on history and politics, as well as fiction books in the
mystery and thriller genres. When visiting museums, I particularly enjoy art museums
and natural history museums. I find the exhibits on dinosaurs and ancient civilizations to
be fascinating.

Q6: Is there a hobby or craft you'd like to take up? Which ones?

I have always been interested in learning how to knit, so I would like to take up knitting
as a hobby. I have a friend who is skilled at knitting, and I plan to ask her to teach me
some basic techniques. I think it would be really satisfying to make my own scarves and
hats to wear in the winter.

Q7: List your ideas for mental renewal activities:

1) Reading books or articles on topics that are of my interest.

2) Trying out new and challenging puzzles or games to keep my mind sharp.
3) Practicing mindfulness meditation or deep breathing exercises to reduce stress
and improve focus.
4) Taking courses or attending workshops to learn new skills and broaden my
knowledge.
5) Writing in a journal or engaging in creative writing exercises to express my
thoughts and emotions.

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Q8: Select the idea you want to start with. State your activity as an affirmation.
For example, if your idea is to learn a new word each day, you might state it like
this: “I will learn one new word each day for the next three weeks.”

As an affirmation, "I will practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes every morning
for the next 30 days."

Q9: How will you evaluate progress?

I’ll evaluate progress by tracking my daily practice of mindfulness meditation for the next
30 days. I’ll keep a record of the days when I meditate and for how long and also note
any changes in my mental state, such as feeling calmer or focused, as a result of my
daily practice. At the end of the 30 days, I’ll reflect on my experience and evaluate if
practicing mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes every morning has had a positive
impact on my mental well-being.

SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL RENEWAL
SELF

Q1: Your first step in social/emotional renewal should be a step to care for
yourself. What can you do that shows regard, care, and love for self

 Taking a relaxing bath or going to a spa

 Going for a walk in nature
 Practicing yoga or meditation
 Treating myself to a favorite meal or snack
 Reading a book or watching a movie that brings me joy.

Q2: Do you have a quiet, safe place to retreat to?

Yes, I have a quiet and safe place to retreat to. I have a small room in my house where I
can go to be alone and unwind. It's a comfortable space with a cozy chair, a few plants,
and some books. I also have some candles and soft lighting that help create a calming
atmosphere. Whenever I need to take a break from the world or recharge my batteries, I
can go to this room and find some peace and quiet.

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Q3: Do you surround yourself with sincerely supportive people?

Surrounding myself with supportive people is important to me. I am fortunate to have a

close circle of friends who are kind, caring, and genuinely interested in my well-being.
They provide a safe space for me to express myself and offer encouragement and
support when I need it. I make sure to nurture these relationships by being there for
them in return, listening, and showing my appreciation. Additionally, I am mindful of the
people I interact with on a regular basis, making an effort to avoid those who are
negative, critical, or draining.

Q4: Have you considered taking yourself out on a date? (5 lines)

Taking yourself out on a date can be a great way to show yourself love and care. When
taking myself out on a date, I either go for a movie, a library, dine out at a fancy
restaurant, or even attend an event I’ve been wanting to go to. It can be a great
opportunity to enjoy your own company and do something that makes you happy. I
often use this time to reflect on my thoughts and feelings and gain a better
understanding of myself.

Q5: Do you allow yourself to believe in your goals and dreams?

Yes, I believe in my goals and dreams and wish to achieve them. I do this by visualizing
myself achieving my goals and dreams regularly and surrounding myself with positive
affirmations and people who support my dreams. To build my confidence and
momentum I take small steps towards and my goals each day and celebrate my
progress and accomplishments along the way while also staying focused on the sole
reason of why I want to achieve these goals.

Q6: Do you know how to provide for your personal needs?

Yes I do this by:

 Knowing what kind of food and drinks make me feel nourished and energized,
and making sure to have them regularly
 Scheduling and maintaining regular medical and dental check-ups

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  Keeping myself clean and groomed, such as taking showers and maintaining a
skincare routine
 Making sure to get enough sleep and rest to feel refreshed and rejuvenated
 Setting aside time for hobbies or activities that make me happy

Q7: List your ideas for self-renewal. What can you do right now:

 Take a relaxing bath or shower and practice mindfulness while doing so.
 Spend time outdoors in nature and get some fresh air and sunshine.
 Write down my thoughts and feelings in a journal or notebook.
 Try a new hobby or activity that you've always been interested in.
 Set aside time for myself each day to do something I enjoy, like reading a book
or listening to music.
 Take a break from technology and social media for a designated time of the day

Q8: Which idea seems most immediate? Write it as an affirmation. For example, if
you've determined that giving yourself a two-hour date each week would restore
you, you might write it like this: “I will schedule two hours a week to take myself
on a date.” I will _____

“I will set aside time for myself each day to do something I enjoy, like reading a book or
listening to music.”

Q9: How will you evaluate progress?

To evaluate progress on this affirmation, I can keep a daily log of the activities I choose
to do for myself and note whether I was able to follow through with setting aside time
each day. Additionally, I can pay attention to how I feel after taking this time for myself
and whether I feel more relaxed and renewed. If I consistently follow through with
setting aside time and notice positive changes in my mood or well-being, I can consider
this affirmation a success.

OTHERS

Q1: How can you strengthen your relationship with a sibling or friend?

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  Schedule regular one-on-one time to catch up and hang out.
 Take an interest in their hobbies and passions and show support for their
endeavours.
 Practice active listening and strive to understand their perspective.
 Show appreciation and gratitude by expressing how much they mean to you.
 Address any conflicts or issues that may arise in a respectful and open-minded
manner.

Q2: Do you need to learn more about what types of deposits work for the other
person involved in a relationship?

I have a friend who values quality time, so I may need to prioritize spending one-on-one
time with them over texting or phone calls. It can also be helpful to have open and
honest conversations about what each person needs and expects from the relationship,
and to be willing to compromise and make adjustments accordingly. Additionally,
showing a genuine interest in their interests and being there for them during difficult
times can help strengthen a relationship.

Q3: Do you need to clear time for someone?

Yes I need to clear time for my parents as they both work as well and I have my
university and my work both so this has led to us spending less time with each.
Sometimes we don’t even get to meet the whole day due to our busy schedules. So I
plan to spend more time with them by helping them with any tasks or errands, taking
them out to their favourite restaurant and expressing gratitude for their love and support.

Q4: Do you need to help out at your university/school?

Yes, I could help out at my university in several ways:

 Volunteering to tutor students who are struggling in my field of expertise.

 Participating in student organizations to help plan events or volunteer
opportunities.
 Offering to assist a professor with research or teaching assistant duties.
 Mentoring younger students who are interested in my major or field of study.

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  Serving on committees to provide input and support for the university community.

Q5: Do you need to be more respectful?

I always try to be respectful towards people but still I’d focus on more active listening so
I give full attention to what the person is saying, use polite language and avoid profanity
or derogatory terms, wait for my turn to speak and be mindful of others’ feelings and
avoid doing things that can hurt the other person. This way I can be more respectful.

Q6: Do you need to learn to listen?

Yes as sometimes I’m distracted when I use my phone when someone’s talking to me
so I need to stop doing that and avoid interrupting and allowing the person to speak
before responding. I’ll also practice being more empathic and try to see things from the
other person’s perspectives and also Summarize what the person said to show you
understood and validate their feelings.

Q7: List actions you are interested in taking in order to make social investments.

 Volunteering regularly at a local charity or non-profit organization.

 Donating money to causes or organizations that align with my values and beliefs.
 Participating in community events and activities, such as clean-up projects or
fundraising drives.
 Mentoring or tutoring youth in my community.
 Starting a community initiative or organizing a fundraiser to support a cause I’m
passionate about

Q8: Which idea do you want to start on right now? Write it as an affirmation. For
example, if you have decided that you want to enliven your relationship with a
sibling/parent, you might have an affirmation statement that reads: “I will spend 1
hour screen-free time with my sibling/parent each week.”

“I will volunteer at a local non-profit organization for 2 hours each week to give back to
my community.”

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Q9: How will you evaluate progress? If you're really brave, try asking for
feedback.

To evaluate progress on this affirmation, I would set specific and measurable goals
such as keeping track of the number of hours volunteered each week and reflecting on
the impact made. I could also evaluate my experience and personal growth through
feedback from the non-profit organization, my peers, or my own self-reflection.
Additionally, I could track any new skills or knowledge gained through volunteering and
set goals for further development in those areas.

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