SITTIE ASHRY I.

PANDAPATAN

CRITICISM ON HOW FILIPINO SOCIETIES FOSTERS TOXIC

MASCULINITY AND TOXIC FEMININITY

Toxic femininity and toxic masculinity is rampantly talked about in social

platforms, especially on the rising social media app called “tiktok”. I have encountered

many contents talking about such genders like how and what they should act. Some are

openly talking about their own opinions but also at the same time criticizing one’s act.

In this platform social media, majority of the criticisms are toxic. So in this paper, I

will be pointing out some articles on how Filipino societies fosters toxic masculinity

and toxic femininity.

Before we can engage in conversations about “masculinity” or “femininity,”

toxic or otherwise, we should begin with a few key ideas about gender. Researchers

have shown that there is very little difference between the brains of men and women.

While gender identity is a deeply held feeling of being male, female or another gender,

people of different genders often act differently, not because of biological

characteristics but because of rigid societal norms created around femininity and

masculinity. The phrase is derived from studies that focus on violent behavior

perpetrated by men, and—this is key—is designed to describe not masculinity itself,

but a form of gendered behavior that results when expectations of “what it means to be

a man” go wrong. According to an article entitled “What We Mean When We Say,

“Toxic Masculinity”” by Colleen Clemens, they deined Toxic Masculinity as “a

narrow and repressive description of manhood, designating manhood as defined by

violence, sex, status and aggression. It’s the cultural ideal of manliness, where strength

is everything while emotions are a weakness; where sex and brutality are yardsticks by

which men are measured, while supposedly “feminine” traits—which can range from
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emotional vulnerability to simply not being hypersexual—are the means by which

your status as “man” can be taken away”.

In that statement, I thinks that is the reason why men these days are scared to

open up or be vocal on what they feel. Men who talk about or express their emotion

and feelings are automatically regarded as “sadboy”, and even crying could make you

less manly. Men also have feelings, and the societal norm that has been set is, it is as if

men don’t have feelings, or don’t get hurt. When we talk about toxic masculinity, we

do so not to insult or to injure. If we can talk with students as they are forming their

ideas about gender, we can perhaps spare them from thinking that there is only one

way to be a man—or any other gendered identity, for that matter—and give them the

space to express their gender in ways that feel authentic and safe for themselves. When

we talk about toxic masculinity, we are doing so out of love for the boys and men in all

of our lives.

The term “toxic femininity” refers to the gender expectations that keep women

subservient, quiet, and submissive to men’s domination and aggression. However,

while such conceptualizations attempt to address the relationality between dominant

forms of masculinity and subservient forms of femininity, they do so along the single

axis of gender. Considering the toxic politics of certain approaches to femininity via

intersections with class, race, sexuality, and more, complicates simple notions of

gender hierarchy.

An article entitled “Why shattering gender stereotypes can be the downfall of

toxic masculinity” By CNN Philippines Staff, in a webinar by CNN Philippines and

San Mig Light called “Detox Masculinity: Mahaba-habang usapan on how to beat

gender stereotypes,” three panelists, including Verceles, discussed a range of topics on

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shattering gender norms and stereotypes. According to the director of the UP Center

for Women’s and Gender Studies, it is important not to box people based on their

genders. She said that there are good characteristics in both being masculine and

feminine. “Don’t dichotomize. Teach people to be compassionate, to be in touch with

their emotions. Teach them to be good people.” Verceles said that “to be less toxic,

you have to be more feminine.” She said that one reason why toxic masculinity is

harmful is that it completely throws away anything that has to do with femininity, like

showing emotions and vulnerability. “The problem would be adhering to masculine

norms such as the demonstration of power and control, and strength... It is so easy to

crossover to the dark side of toxic masculinity.” Another panelist, poet, and rapper

Meta Sarmiento is an example that toxic masculinity is something learned and is not

innate in men.

Toxic masculinity is not only harmful to society but also men themselves. And

raising boys to be in touch with their feelings has to be institutionalized in schools

aside from their own homes. It also noted that younger men are more empathetic and

sensitive than men who came from the boomer generation. She said she sees so much

hope in this.

We hear a considerable amount about toxic masculinity but far less about toxic

femininity, and some doubt that it exists. First, a definition: Women expressing

stereotypically “feminine” traits such as “passivity, empathy, sensuality, patience,

tenderness, and receptivity, which result in individuals ignoring their mental or

physical needs to sustain those around them. Toxic femininity is when one works to

the benefit of others but to the detriment of themselves. It can appear as forms of

depression, exhaustion, or wildly illogical solutions to complex problems.” (By “to the

benefit of others,” writers nearly always mean “to the benefit of men.”)
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Far less media or academic attention has been devoted to toxic femininity than

to toxic masculinity. Indeed, in response to her readers, freelance journalist Katie

Anthony raised the question, “Is toxic femininity a thing?" She proposed that there is

no simple answer because in our society, femininity is not highly prized and is thus

inconsequential; if it exists in men, then it is punishable. Hence, femininity is

inherently toxic. “Toxic femininity," if it exists, she wrote, "encourages silent

acceptance of violence and domination in order to survive. It’s a thing women do to

keep our value, which the patriarchy has told us is conditional upon our ability to bear

violent domination. Toxic masculinity also makes women feel locked into a

performance of their gender bereft of the normal impulses we have toward

independence, sexual agency, anger, volume, messiness, ugliness, and being a tough

bird to swallow." If women display toxic feminine traits then these are tactics women

use to survive oppressive misogyny—or they suffer from internalized misogyny.

Here is a partial but telling list of toxic femininity traits:

 A woman won’t let herself eat anything but a salad while on a date.

 Every sweater in a woman’s closet is thinner and frailer than any in a man’s

possession.

 When a parent insists on piercing the ears of a moments-old girl baby to ensure

she looks ornamented and sufficiently “pretty.”

 Having a lengthy and complicated nightly facial care routine is essential.

 If buying a gift for a woman, they reach for something soft, sweet, and

nonthreatening.
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Sexism says that a woman is too frail or docile to play a contact sport; toxic

femininity says that you don’t want to play football anyway, sweetie; you would look

horrible and sweaty in the helmet and pads. Sexism is focused on robbing women of

status and rights; toxic femininity is about defining womanhood so shallowly that a

woman feels de-gendered by basic human acts or neutral preferences. Both factors lead

to women being compressed into impossibly tight, uncomfortable shapes.

From a scientific point of view, the causal relationship between gendered

conduct and the projected harmful effects is unexplained, meshed, or disregarded in

practically every presentation of toxic femininity (and toxic masculinity) because it is

said to be “self-evident,” at least to the author. Unsubstantiated generalizations are not

uncommon, with claims that such behavior is injurious to the individual and her

psychological health, to others in relating to her, to women in general, or to all of the

above.

Masculinity and femininity are both conceptualized as being made up of both

socially desirable and unattractive features in Filipino gender studies. Frequently, the

discussion centers on how a “positive” or socially desirable feature turns unpleasant

when it is possessed or displayed by someone of the “wrong” gender. For example,

whereas physical strength is regarded as a positive trait among Filipino males, physical

strength among Filipino women is regarded as socially undesirable, abnormal, and

maybe symptomatic of lesbianism (Josef, 2001).

The more women are coming to terms with their rights, the more they are

recognizing, the harmful behaviors and expression of traditional male gender norms.

At the Philippine Commission on Women's Youth Forum on Violence Against Women

on Monday, male students and youth advocates from all over the Philippines learned
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about toxic masculinity, its effects to women and what they can do to avoid leaning

towards it. Harold David, Information Officer of Commission on Population and Mr.

Ariel Frago, Project Manager of Plan International Philippines gave a talk on the topic.

Toxic masculinity leads to gender-based violence because traditional beliefs — "men

are stronger than women," for instance — actually result to men becoming violent

towards women. Why would they become more violent towards women? To prove that

they are indeed the stronger gender. David told young Filipino male students changing

this kind of thinking is one way of stopping Violence Against Women. He said men

should also stop thinking that resolving conflict should involve violence whether to

women or to their fellow men.

It is also said that women are more disproportionately affected by gender-based

violence than men. Frago said that even though gender-based violence can apply to

both men and women, women are at higher risk and are the primary target of gender-

based violence because of toxic masculinity. He encouraged men to become the start

of change and see that women are their equals.

Toxicity in masculinity and femininity limits men and women from doing what

they want. Toxic masculinity is men thinking there are things only men can do and

things only women can do. It's a very outdated way of thinking because it limits both

men and women from doing things they might excel at, and expressing things they

might be feeling. This also leads to unequal opportunities that may hinder them from

growing and becoming the best versions of themselves. PCW issued a very strong

reminder: A person shouldn't be measured based on gender, but on what they can do as

individuals.
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With relation to toxicity, gender streotyping is quite a part of toxic masculinity

and toxic femininity. A gender stereotype is a generalized view or preconception about

attributes or characteristics, or the roles that are or ought to be possessed by, or

performed by, women and men. A gender stereotype is harmful when it limits

women’s and men’s capacity to develop their personal abilities, pursue their

professional careers and/or make choices about their lives. Whether overtly hostile

(such as “women are irrational”) or seemingly benign (“women are nurturing”),

harmful stereotypes perpetuate inequalities. For example, the traditional view of

women as care givers means that child care responsibilities often fall exclusively on

women. Further, gender stereotypes compounded and intersecting with other

stereotypes have a disproportionate negative impact on certain groups of women, such

as women from minority or indigenous groups, women with disabilities, women from

lower caste groups or with lower economic status, migrant women, etc. Gender

stereotyping refers to the practice of ascribing to an individual woman or man specific

attributes, characteristics, or roles by reason only of her or his membership in the

social group of women or men. Gender stereotyping is wrongful when it results in a

violation or violations of human rights and fundamental freedoms.

The Filipino femininity subscale included positive traits such as being caring

and supportive and negative traits such as being timid or keeping things to one’s self.

The Filipino masculinity subscale included positive traits such as being principled and

having affinity with others and negative traits such as being boastful and impetuous.

Criterion validity was assessed by using structural equation modelling (SEM), which

indicated that while the Filipino inventory had similarities with an established measure

of gender, there were distinct differences in how they operationalized and measured

masculinity and femininity.

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References:

https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/what-we-mean-when-we-say-toxic-

masculinity

https://www.cnnphilippines.com/lifestyle/2021/1/22/why-shattering-gender-

stereotypes-can-be-the-downfall-of-toxic-masculinity.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-sexuality-and-romance/201908/toxic-

femininity

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/02/toxic-masculinity-history/583411/

https://minerva-access.unimelb.edu.au/bitstream/handle/11343/254288/Final%20Toxic

%20Femininity%20Submission.pdf

https://www.gmanetwork.com/news/lifestyle/healthandwellness/716796/toxic-

masculinity-leads-to-gender-based-violence-and-more-important-reasons-it-needs-to-

end/story/

https://www.ohchr.org/en/issues/women/wrgs/pages/genderstereotypes.aspx
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