Some Information about Homesickness

The time leading up to your child’s departure for Atlantic College is very
exciting and busy, there is so much to prepare for and so many
arrangements to make. There are many practical issues to tackle and
not everyone may know quite what to expect of the two years ahead.

At Atlantic College all members of staff contribute to the pastoral care of

the students but most contact outside the classroom will be with the
pastoral care team (house parents, the school counselor, the Vice
Principle in charge of pastoral care, the head of tutors and the nurses).
There will be many fantastic experiences waiting for your child and they
are very likely to settle into their new way of life quite quickly. One of
the normal and natural reactions to leaving home is the possibility of
home sickness and it is with this in mind that we would like to offer
some tips and advice that may ease your child’s path at the beginning of
term.

Many parents worry that talking about home sickness will cause the
problem to occur. There is strong evidence to the contrary and indeed if
you and your child can talk openly about home sickness before they
leave it may give them the reassurance that they need to help them cope
if they experience it during their time at college.

Although many students will have lived away from home, or spent
periods of time away, home sickness can hit them unexpectedly. Home
sickness is rarely about simply missing home, it often comes from our
instinctive need for security, love and protection. A student may simply
miss what is normal and what is routine. Anything from the difference
in food, culture, climate or environment can result in feelings of sadness,
anxiety and nervousness. Both children and adults whether male or
female can be overcome by waves of homesickness at the most
unexpected times.

Many students feel lucky to have the opportunity to come to the college
and are very aware of the sacrifices that parents or donors are making
in order to give them the chance, because of this they may feel guilty or
embarrassed about feeling homesick. These feelings are incredibly
common and many other students have felt or will be feeling the same.
These feelings may fade as they find a routine in attending lessons or
they may persist. Handled positively and constructively, however, most
cases of homesickness pass within two or three weeks. Either way
there is support and understanding at the college both for the student
and their parents or anyone else who may be affected.

Homesickness can be a bit like a grieving process and although it can be

painful in the short term it helps students to learn coping mechanisms
for separation that are invaluable for their personal development.
There will be many aspects of college life that will challenge a student at
Atlantic College and working out how to deal with them will build
resilience and independence.

Here are some tips that you may want to consider:

 Remember that homesickness is a natural part of the adjustment

process through which the student learns that they have not ‘lost’
their home but ’gained’ a whole new home and community.
Reassure them that their home is still there for them and will still
be theirs whenever they return.

 Homesickness is an emotion that comes in waves. Very few

emotions stay with you all the time, they come and they go but
when it strikes, students often get caught off guard by it, they
think something is terribly wrong. But it is normal and adaptive to
feel homesick for some period of time, it is just your emotions and
mind telling you are out of your normal surroundings.

 Recognise your child’s vulnerability and if they need to talk, listen.

No matter how you feel about the school or how much your
opinions may differ, it is crucial that you hear and appreciate their
concerns.

 Give your child a sense of security. Establish a regular telephone

routine and stick to it, if this is what your child would like. This
simple routine will go a long way to helping your child build a
sense of security and normality away from home, likewise be
clear that there will be times when you may not be able to talk
 and hopefully this will avoid the problem of too many phone calls
that just increase anxiety.

 Encourage your child to talk to you about their daily plans and
give them a sense of security and confidence about getting
involved in their new surroundings.

 Possibly one of the most valuable tips is to give your child

permission to feel homesick. If the homesickness lasts longer
than you hope or anticipate do not hesitate to call your child’s
houseparent.

 When your child does begin to feel less homesick they may worry
that you will think that they have moved on, they may feel guilty
about not missing you, at this point it is just as important to give
them permission to enjoy themselves and not to worry about you
feeling left behind.

Hopefully this information will be useful, please do not be afraid to talk

to anyone at Atlantic College about anything at all, the next two years
are going to be a real adventure and we are all here to help in any way
possible.