Introduction

Purpose and School Achievement

 What is/are your purpose/s in attending or going here at school?

 Three wrong reasons for attending college:
o No better option
o Parental pressure
o Social interest
 Three right reasons for attending college
o Intrinsic value
o Instrumental value
o Personal development

Purpose and Career Accomplishment

 Three different attitudes towards work:

o As a job to make a living
o As a career for self-advancement
o As a vocation for fulfilling a calling

Changing Concepts of Calling

 Calling is defined as fulfilling a specific life role for the greater good--calling to parenthood and
child rearing.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

 Intrinsic Motivation
o refers to the pursuit of some activity for its own sake. Intrinsically motivated activities
are rewarding and satisfying in their own right.
 Extrinsic Motivation
o refers to the pursuit of some activity for some external reward such as approval/praise,
monetary incentives, and recognition or honor. Extrinsically motivated activities are a
means to an end.

Sources of Intrinsic Motivation

 Love someone unconditionally

 Do something you love
 Learn something new
 Do something kind
 Pursue an ideal beyond self-interest
Approach vs. Avoidance Motivation

 Approach Motivation
o primarily motivated to achieve some positive goals and outcomes.
 Avoidance Motivation
o primarily motivated to avoid some negative outcomes, such as failure and stress.

NOTE: Going through life with an avoidance orientation tends to create more stress and anxiety and less
life satisfaction.

Meaning vs. Happiness Motivation

 Meaning Orientation
o is more likely linked to intrinsic motivation and approach motivation
 Happiness Orientation
o is more likely linked to extrinsic motivation.

NOTE: These two types of life orientations tend to result in different kinds of life goals.

How do you find your purpose in life?

 Be consistent with inner goodness and ethical principles.

 Look deep into one’s own heart.
 Assess one’s unique gifts, strengths, and interests.
 Assess available opportunities and resources.
 Seek God’s will and consult experts.
 Lesson 1: Vocation
Vocation

 summons or strong inclination to a particular state or course of action

 the work in which a person is employed (occupation)
 Vocare meaning "to call"
 life calling created by God
 sense of purpose
 not just a profession or career "what do I want to be?"
 but a calling of "what does God want me to be?"
 to understand where your vocation comes from it is vital to refer to the 2 CREATION STORIES
 God has given everyone gifts and talents needed to fulfill their vocation

Different Vocations

1. Single Blessedness

2. Religious Life and/or Priesthood

3. Married Life

Single Blessedness

 commited to being single

 they love God and serve others
 they are not committed to just one person
 they can love everyone just as Jesus did
 Gifts and talents:

a. ability to serve others

b. equal love for all

c. love for God

 Roles:

a. to live the single life

b. committed to the chaste life

Priesthood

 Jesus supports his followers personally through ordained priesthood

 the priestly vocation is a call to serve and a call to celibate love
 the call to follow God is personal
  through the ministry you guide the community
 Gifts and talents:

a. have the ability to serve for others needs

b. commit to the life of celibacy

c. guide and help others

d. become closer to God

 Roles:

a. Popes

b. Bishops

c. Deacons

d. Priests

Religious

 follow Jesus and the Gospel

 three vows:
o Poverty
o Chastity
o Obedience
 Gifts and talents:

a. Dedication to God

b. Prayer

c. Holiness

d. Living life the way Jesus did

 Roles:

a. religious brother or sister

b. deacon bishop priest

c. anyone who is religious/ has a religion and follows the practices of that religion by dedicating
themselves to God as well as prayer.
Married Life

 to commit and devote to one;s spouse and raise a good family

 2 purpose:
o sexual expression of married love
o procreation of children
 sacrament
 Gifts and talents:

a. Loyalty

b. Trust

c. Honesty

Discerning Your Vocation (Matthew Rose)

1. Deepen your Prayer Life

2. Live the Life you have Now

3. Remove Distractions

4. Have some Spiritual Director

Being Called

 Through the Scriptures, we are called

Lesson 2: Biblical Foundations of Marriage
Marriage According to God's Plan

 Union of Man and Woman (Primary)

o Exclusive and permanent
 Procreation (Secondary)
o Fruit of the Union

Original Plan of God Affected by Sin

 Union of man and woman was broken

o continuous rivalry
o procreation became the primary purpose of marriage

Marriage in the Old Testament

 Patriarchal-Genealogical Emphasis
o Men were considered the "authority"
o Women were discriminated and treated as "2nd class"
o Women's worth was measured in terms of their procreative abilities and capacities

NOTE: in God's original plan - Woman, then, is man's equal in dignity and the one closest to his heart

Old Testament

 Genesis 1: 27-28
 Marriage in the OT was a reflection of the brokeness brought about by the original sin.

Modern Problems

C - oncubinage (applies for male)

A - dultery (applied for female)

S - eduction

A - cts of Lasciviousness

R - ape

A - bortion

P - olygamy/ Prostitution/ Pornography

Marriage in the New Testament

 "Christians are new creations in Christ, healed of sin and its effects. Marriage is also recreated
and made new in Christ"
 Matthew 19:6-11 "Jesus tells us that in the Kingdom of God the permanent union of husband and
wife that God originally intended can once more be realized.
 "By the grace of the Holy Spirit, husbands and wives can now truly love and honor one another."
 St Paul
o marriage bears witness to the indissoluble love of Christ for his Church
 Ephesians 5:25-26
 Catholics see marriage as a Sacrament
 Lesson 3: Human Sexuality
Human Sexuality

 Nature
o to be loved by another
 Isolation is the cruelest of punishments
 At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another
 Marriage is designed to meet the need for intimacy and love

Emotional Tank

 needs to be filled with love

 then will grow & develop normally
 if tank is empty, it will misbehave
 key is to determine how to fill your mate's emotional tank
 this can be done by learning to speak their love language

Falling In Love

 First meet "Love Alert" system goes off"

 Becomes emotionally obsessed
 Under illusion all is perfect

And then…

 Romantic obsession lasts about 2 years

 Reality sets in
 Must learn to love mate
 So, love is a rational volitional choice

Love is…

 The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of
the one you love
 Love grows and develops.
 It is a PROCESS more than a product.

First Truth

 Actions before marriage aren't the same as after marriage

o Before - "in love obsession"
o After - influenced by personality, perception, etc.
Second Truth

 Love is a choice and cannot be coerced

 Love is a Choice..
o Love doesn’t keep a score of wrongs. Can't change the past.
o Just confess and ask for forgiveness. The partner has the option of justice or forgiveness
o Choose forgiveness = restored intimacy
 Forgiveness:
o Feeling
o Choice
o expression of love

Third Truth

 Listen to your partner's criticisms for a clue about their love language

Five Love Languages

1. Words of Affirmation

 verbal compliments
 words of appreciation
 affirmations

2. Quality Time

 giving someone your undivided attention

 quality conversation, focusing on what we are hearing - listening sympathetically
 we are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.

3. Receiving Gifts

 gifts are visual symbols of love

 gifts can be purchased, found, or made
 may require a change in attitude about money - spending vs saving
 Gift you buy
 Gift you make
 Gift of self

4. Acts of Service

 they rquire thought, planning, time, effort, and energy

 if done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.
 acts of service may mean overcoming the gender stereotypes

1. love is a choice; it cannot be coerced

2. service can be done out of love, or it can be done out of fear and guilt
5. Physical Touch

 words may mean little, but tender touches will be remembered long after the crisis has past.
 failure to touch may never be forgotten

Opposite of love...

 Ulitarianism
o maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain
 using makes someone a means to an end (person becomes an object)
 emphasis on usefulness (gives pleasure and eliminates pain)
 modern culture has adopted this philosophy (not always done intentionally)
 lust is an example of this kind of philosophy

Love…

1. Love as an Attraction

2. Love as Desire

3. Love as Goodwill

Chastity

 virtue that directs our sexual desires and attitudes toward the truth of love
 Virtue: a habit of doing good
 integration of sexuality within the person
 perfect expression of love
 exercise of the will - a choice to express love properly