a game by grant howitt 2017

w it h t h a n ks to a l l o ut o f bubblegum
3:16 , and — w eirdly — polaris.

pag e 1 : fo r ev e ryo n e
It’s Honeycon 2017. You are going to undertake
the greatest heist the world has ever seen. Two Things –
One: You have a complex plan that requires precise timing.
Two: You are a GODDAMN BEAR.

2 : stats
You have two stats. Each starts with 3 points.
1 : c ha r act e r bear : Use t o ma u l s t u ff, ru n & cl imb , sh r u g o ff
c r e at i o n da ma ge , sca r e pe o pl e , a nd ge ne ra l l y do b e ar s t u ff.
criminal : Use to do anything not directly related to
b eing a b ea r.
Roll 3D6 to determine your descriptor, your role, and your bear type.

DE SCRIPTOR BE A R T Y PE / S K IL L 3 : actions
1: Ro o k ie 1: Grizzly (Terrify) When you act, and the outcome
2: Wa s h ed -U p 2: Polar (Swim) is in doubt, roll a D6. If it’s equal to
3: Re t ired 3: Panda (Eat anything that looks like bamboo.) or under the relevant stat, you succeed.
4: U n hin g ed 4: Black (Climb)
If it’s over the stat, you fail.
5: S l ick 5: Sun (Sense Honey) If you’re using your bear special-skill
6: I n c ompetent 6: Honey Badger (Carnage) or doing something related to your role,
roll 2 D6 and pick the lowest.

ROLE 4 : changing states

1 : M uscle 4 : Hacker
f r ust rat io n : When the plan fails and you run into
2 : Br a ins 5: Thief
difficulty, move one point from Criminal into Bear.
3 : D r iver 6: Face
g r e e d : When the plan goes off without a hitch, move
one point from Bear into Criminal.
Name your bear, if you want. You’re not a talking bear,
You can voluntarily move one point from Bear to Criminal
per se, but you can sort of mangle human speech through
by doing a flashback scene in which you and the other
your bear mouth, maybe?
bears plan out the heist over coffee and cigarrettes in the
(You can talk to each other, though.)
back room of a seedy bar.
You can voluntarily move one point of Criminal into Bear
by eating a load of honey.
b o n u s h at ta b l e
IF YOU WANT YOUR BEAR TO WEAR AN AWESOME HAT
(1D8)
5 : the end
1: Trilby 2: To p 3: Bow ler If your c r i m i na l stat ever reaches 6, you are lured
into a life of crime and betray the party.
4 : Flat-Cap 5 : Cow boy 6 : F ez
If your b e a r stat ever reaches 6, you flip out bear-
7: C row n 8: Ro ll Tw ice
style and lose it. Presumably to be picked up by animal
control in half an hour or so.
 a game by grant howitt 2017
w it h t h a n ks to a l l o ut o f bubblegum
3:16 , and — w eirdly — polaris.

pag e 2 : fo r t h e g m

It’s Honeycon 2017. You are going to undertake

the greatest heist the world has ever seen. Two Things –
One: You have a complex plan that requires precise timing.
Two: You are a GODDAMN BEAR.

S ETT I N G and scenar io

RANDOM TABLES TO SET UP THE ADVENTURE
c o n v e n t i o n
o rga n iz e r:
1: Cunning and Sly.
2: Greedy and Wicked.
3: Clueless and Exploitable.
4: Maybe too obessed with honey.
5: A spoilt trust-fund kid.
6: Ruthless and Corrupt.

h o n e yc o n i s b e i n g h e l d i n a:

1: C r eepy 1: L akeside Cam p

2: Busy 2: F ishing Village
3: Run-D own 3: M etro po litan City
4: B e a utif ul 4: Co nv entio n Centre
5: Da n g erous 5: Truck Co nv oy
6: L av ish 6: Wilderness Retreat

A s i d e f r o m l o a d s o f h o n e y,
the prize is:

1: Ultradense megahoney from especially posh bees.

2: A briefcase of pure manuka extract worth $5m.
3: The Queen of All Bees, Once Exiled, Now Returned.
4: Black Orchid Honey, which turns anyone who eats it into a goth.
5: Abraham Lincoln’s beehive, thought to be haunted by his ghost. S ec u r it y f e at u r e s
6: Miss Universe 2017–an especially attractive Bee. ro l l t w i c e
1: Armed Guards.
B ut l itt l e d o t h e b e a r s k n ow. . . 2: Electronically locked doors.
3: Laser tripwire grids.
1: This place is rigged to blow! 4: They’ve been set up! 4: CCTV network.
2: The cops are en route! 5: The prize is a fake! 5: “I m p e n e t r a b l e” V a u l t .
3: Look – a rival team of bears! 6: The bees are angry! 6: Poison Gas.