Day 5 Self Reflection

9:00 – 11:00 S1: Understanding Harmony in the Family

Participants self-reflection from day 5 (20m)
Sum up of day 1-5 and Q&A
Understanding Harmony in the Family – Justice

11:00 – 11:30 Tea

11:30 – 1:00 S2: Understanding Harmony in the Society

1:00 – 2:00 Lunch

2:00 – 3:30 S3: Economics of Happiness – Video and Discussion

3:30 – 3:45 Tea

3:45 – 5:45 S4: Sharing and Discussion – with Tenzin

Sum up of the day

6:15 – 7:30 Sharing / Group Discussion / Points for Self-reflection

(family, institution, society, nature/existence)
2
Self Reflection
Check whether you have a feeling of gratitude for those who have
made effort for your excellence in your life…

1. Are you able to appreciate both –”what has been done” as well
as ”what has not been done” (the complete picture)?
or
are you mostly focused on “what has not been done”?

2. Do you have a feeling of gratitude for the other – continuous

or
the feeing of gratitude comes and goes?

3. Are you making effort for “ensuring the right feelings in yourself
and expressing them to the other”
or
are you “expecting these feelings from the other”?
3
Self Reflection
1. In education, which feelings are essential in the teacher and in the
student?
2. Make a list of people you have a feeling of gratitude.
3. Is love about sensation or about feeling in relationship?
4. What is justice? Is it to be ensured between 2 persons, then in
family and so on or can it be enforced from outside?
5. Are you working for excellence or for being special or for
domination?
6. Where would you draw the boundary between people who are
related to you and people who are not related to you?

4
Day 1-5 Recap
Basic Human Aspiration and its Fulfilment
Human
Consciousness
1 RIGHT UNDERSTANDING মানি বেতনা
(সঠির্ বিাধ)
in the self

2 3
RELATIONSHIP
PHYSICAL FACILITY
Feeling (সম্পর্ক)
- Trust
(সুবিধা)
- Respect
-… with human
being with rest of nature

MUTUAL HAPPINESS MUTUAL PROSPERITY

(পারস্পররক সুখ) (পারস্পররক সমৃরি)
6
 Living with Human Consciousness
→ Humane Family, Humane Society

Living with Animal Consciousness

→ Inhuman Family, Inhuman Society

Human Education
Human Consciousness

Human Values

Human Conduct
Human Character
Human Society
Happiness
The state or situation, in which I
live,
if there is harmony / synergy in it,
then it is Naturally Acceptable to
me to be in that state / situation
To be in a state / situation which is
Naturally Acceptable is
Happiness
To be in a state of Harmony /
Synergy is Happiness
Happiness = To be in Harmony
Continuity of Happiness
State / Situation in which I live or
expanse of my being:
1. As an Individual Human Being
2. As a member of a Family
3. As a member of Society
4. As an unit in Nature/Existence
Continuity of Happiness
= Harmony at all levels of being
i.e.
1. Harmony in the Human Being
2. Harmony in the Family
3. Harmony in the Society
4. Harmony in Nature/Existence
10
 Human Being Self Co-existence Body
Ekkuo eSa lgvfLrRo “kjhj
Need Happiness (e.g. Respect) Physical Facility (e.g. Food)
vko';drk lq[k ¼tSls lEeku½ lqfo/kk ¼tSls Hkkstu½
In Time Continuous Temporary
dky esa fujUrj lkef;d
In Quantity Qualitative (is Feeling) Quantitative (Required in
ek=k esa xq.kkRed ¼Hkko gS½ Limited Quantity)
Ekk=kRed ¼lhfer ek=k esa½
Fulfilled By Right Understanding & Right Physio-chemical Things
iwfrZ ds fy, Feeling lgh le>] lgh Hkko HkkSfrd&jklk;fud oLrq

Activity Desire, Thought, Eating, Walking…

fØ;k Expectation… [kkuk] pyuk---
bPNk] fopkj] vk”kk---
In Time Continuous Temporary
dky esa fujUrj lkef;d
Response Knowing, Assuming,
Recognising, Fulfilling Recognising, Fulfilling
tkuuk] ekuuk] igpkuuk] fuokZg igpkuuk] fuokZg djuk
djuk

Consciousness pSrU; Material tM+ 12

Source of Motivations for our Desires - Its Implications
Power Activity Self verification
“kfDr fØz;k on the basis of
Natural
Self eSa 1.
Acceptance
3
lgt Loh—fr
Preconditioning 2. ds vk/kkj ij
1
ekU;rk 3. Desire Imaging tkap dj
Enslavement bPNk fp=.k Self-organised

ijra=rk X 4. Thought Analysing-Comparing Lora=rk √

fopkj fo'ys"k.k&rqyu
5. Expectation Selecting-Tasting Imagination
vk'kk p;u&vkLoknu dYiuk”khy
Information
2 rk
Sensation
Body 'kjhj
laosnuk
Behaviour O;ogkj Work dk;Z
Enslavement ijra=rk X
14
Recap
As long as we consider human being to be body, it is not possible
to understand relationship; and without understanding
relationship, it is not possible to fulfill relationship, even though
we do want to fulfill relationship.

We are trying to assume relationship on the basis of body and

trying to fulfill relationship on the basis of body, and it does not
work, inspite of all good intentions

Now we can explore relationship with the clarity of human being, as co-
existence of self and body

19
Relationship
1. Relationship is – between one self (I1) and other self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one self (I1) for other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness

Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl FOUNDATION VALUE 6- Reverence J)k
2- Respect lEeku 7- Glory xkSjo
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance okRlY;

20
Trust: To have the clarity that the other intends to make me happy
About your Natural Acceptance About your Ability

1a. I want to make myself happy √ 1b. I am able to make myself

always always happy ?
2a. I want to make the other happy √ 2b. I am able to make the other
always always happy ?
3a. The other wants to make 3b. The other is able to make
herself/himself happy always √
herself/himself always happy ?
4a. The other wants to make me 4b. The other is able to make me
happy always √ always happy ??

Intention – Natural Acceptance Competence

What is Naturally Acceptable to You What You Are (∑ D, T, E)
21
Doubt on Intention: Mistrust
About your Natural Acceptance About your Ability

1a. I want to make myself happy √ 1b. I am able to make myself

always always happy ?
2a. I want to make the other happy √ 2b. I am able to make the other
always always happy ?
3a. The other wants to make 3b. The other is able to make
herself/himself happy always √
herself/himself always happy ?
4a. The other wants to make me 4b. The other is able to make me
happy always ? always happy ??

Intention – Natural Acceptance Competence

What is Naturally Acceptable to You What You Are (∑ D, T, E)
22
Respect: Right Evaluation – on the basis of the Self
1. Purpose – Our purpose (Natural Acceptance) is same
2. Program – Our program is same
3. Potential – Our potential is same
The Other is Similar to Me
4. Competence – On the basis of right evaluation of our mutual
competence, I recognise our complementarity and fulfill it:
If the other has more understanding, is more responsible than me
− I am committed to understand from the other
If I have more understanding, I am more responsible than the other
1. I live with responsibility with the other, unconditionally,
unperturbed by the behaviour of the other
2. I am committed to facilitate understanding in the other (once
the other is assured in relationship, and not before that)
COMPLETE CONTENT of RESPECT

The Other is Similar to Me. We are complementary to each other

23
Differentiation
I evaluate on the basis of body,
physical facilities or belief (pre
conditioning). I compare,
compete, differentiate…
I am different from the other
We are competitors
I make effort to accentuate the
difference, to manipulate, exploit
the other
Respect – on the basis of Self
1. Our purpose (Natural Acceptance)
is same
2. Our program is same
3. Our potential is same
The other is similar to me
We are complementary to each
other
If the other has more
understanding than me
- I am committed to understand from the
other
If I have more understanding
1. I live with responsibility with the other
2. I am committed to facilitate
understanding in the other (once the
other is assured in relationship, and
not before that)
24
Affection (Lusg)
The feeling of being related to the other
(acceptance of the other as one’s relative, the other is like me)
nwljs dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA fufoZj®f/krkA

One naturally feels related to the other when one has the feelings of
trust and respect for the other

One has the responsibility and commitment for mutual fulfilment in the
relationship

Opposition, jealousy... are an indication of the absence of affection

25
Care (eerk) Guidance (okRlY;)
Feeling of responsibility toward the Feeling of responsibility toward
body of my relative the self of my relative

The responsibility & commitment The responsibility & commitment

for nurturing and protection of for ensuring Right
the Body of my relative Understanding and Right
Feeling in the self of my relative

laca/kh ds “kjhj ds iks’k.k] laj{k.k laca/kh dks le>nkj o ftEesnkj

dh LohÑfr dk HkkoA cukus dh LohÑfr dk HkkoA
Care & Guidance are a natural outcome of Affection

Do we ensure both care as well as guidance or are we mostly focused on care?

E.g. while taking care of the body, like while feeding the child, are we
concerned about both the body as well as the self?
26
Reverence (J)k)
The feeling of acceptance for excellence
Js’Brk dh LohÑfr dk HkkoA

Excellence ¼Js’Brk½
at all levels of being
Understanding Harmony &
1. As an individual human being
Living in Harmony 2. As a member of the family
3. As a member of society
Continuous Happiness 4. As an unit in nature/existence

Excellence and competition are not similar.

In excellence, one helps to bring the other to his level
In competition, he hinders the other from reaching to his level

Worship ¼iwtk½
Effort made to achieve excellence. Js’Brk ds fy, fd;k x;k iz;klA
(inspiration from the revered)
27
Glory ¼xkSjo½
Feeling for those who have made
effort for excellence
ftUgksaus Js’Brk ds fy, fd, iz;kl
fd;k gS] muds izfr HkkoA
Gratitude ¼d`rKrk½
Feeling for those who have made
effort for my excellence
ftUgksaus esjh Js’Brk ds fy, iz;kl
fd;k gS] muds izfr HkkoA
I can see that the other has a
feeling of care, affection, trust..
in behaviour with me. I can see
that the other
a) Has helped me in developing right
understanding & right feeling
b) Has provided me with the
necessary physical facility
Gratitude is significant in the
development of relationship
29
Love ¼izse½
Love ¼izse½ – The feeling of being related to all (Complete Value)
¾ gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjus dk HkkoA
¾ iw.kZrk esa jfr & iw.kZrk esa jr gksuk & gj ,d ds lkFk laca/k esa
fufgr jl (Hkkoksa) dh vuqHkwfr djukA
It all starts with identifying that one is related to other human being
(Affection - Lusg) and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related
to all human beings and then to all, each & every unit in nature
(human being as well as other units) (Love - izse)
,d → vusd → gj ,d dks laca/kh ds :i esa Lohdkjuk
Feeling of Love is expressed in the form of kindness (n;k), beneficience
(—ik) and compassion (d#.kk). The feeling is for all, and it is
expressed to those who come in contact

The feeling of Love is the foundation of Undivided Society

33
Harmony in Family – Justice, From Family to World Family (Undivided Society)

1. Relationship is – between one self (I1) and other self (I2)

2. There are feelings in relationship – in one self (I1) for other self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite (9 Feelings)
4. Their fulfilment, evaluation leads to mutual happiness
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust fo”okl FOUNDATION VALUE 6- Reverence J)k
2- Respect lEeku 7- Glory xkSjo
3- Affection Lusg 8- Gratitude —rKrk
4- Care eerk 9- Love izse COMPLETE VALUE
5- Guidance okRlY;

Justice = Recognition, Fulfillment & Evaluation of Human-Human

Relationship, leading to Mutual Happiness

Justice → from Family to World Family → Undivided Society ¼v[k.M

lekt½
34
Q&A