Funny Sms

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u..
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W
hy
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suf
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!!!
»

When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born
» devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-

» Best of all Reply is a must...

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-

» Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have
» brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....

If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u
» think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D
» jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

» First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the
» sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm
just happy that cows can't fly!
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food »

I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
» I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all
» things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U
» jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong
» button u'll be disconnected!

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy

» EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for
» cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

><(((:> I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in
» mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking
» coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I
picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom
One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon
instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. »
He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call" By Zunera

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs

» or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD'
or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!
»
 A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper
» word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING
INSTRUMENTS

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down
» the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the
Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a

» formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins

girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check
» inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment
just plug in your charger and enjoy

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
»
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd
» time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha

MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
»
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

Hay Baby ;) Atom Bomb:

» An invention to end all inventions

Marriage:
» It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains
her master

Love affairs:Something like cricket,

» where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
» tongue.?
Santa: Very long

In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or

»
profit? student: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

Promise me we are true friends I am lamp you are light I am Coke you are
» Sprite I am Sawan you are badal I am Normal you are Pagal I am Water you
are...

If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok, if someone
» says u r genious slap him as tight as you can n say there is a limit of...

hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i
» dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...

LOng Time Ago.... Only idiots used.... to read my SMS And Today, The history
continues...

When words are not enough.... To express your feelings.... Dont think you're in
»
LOVE.... You just need to join... ENGLISH SPEAKING COURSE

When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another angel!!!..& When u were born
» devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....

Gud Morning... Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those
» poor mosquitoes who died last night aftrer sucking ur blood. Thanks.

A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. MAN: Radio
» label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all Radio PAKISTAN!

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes
» everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my
» feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

Roses r Red Violets r Blue monkey like u should b kept in zoooo dont get angry
» cuz u will find me there tooooo not in the cage but laughing@uuuuuuuu

Winter Comes .........Again & Again, Summer Comes .......Again & Again, But
The Person Like You.............. Will Not Come Again, Because...
»
 U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or
» husband & the one u loved becomes the password of ur emai id.

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double
» the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of...

if u want the latest MERCEDEZ BENZ on very easy installment of ten years with
out downpayment and interest then log on to »
WWW.APNI_AUQAT_MAIN_RAHO.COM

» My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The
» bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are
» timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless

When u feel sad.... To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, "damn I am really
» so cute" u will overcome your sadness...

Don't marry & make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor & make several
» women happy.

If you are in tension, If nothing seems right, If u find no way out, Then just
» think of me only once, I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions

Different Phases of a man: After engagement: Superman After Marriage:

» Gentleman After 10 years: Watchman After 20 years: Doberman

THIS IS A HISTORICAL MSG READ CAREFULLY..... . In the year 1796 . / . myself

» . / . u . / my frnds . . ur frnds . ...

Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you
can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen
once a sardar bought a banaspatee teen and say to the shopkeeper where is my
»
gift ?shopkeeper said why? serdar said there is written colestrol free

TODAY IS THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF SMART AND ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE SEND

» THIS TO SOMEONE WHO FITS THE DESCRIPTION;DONT SEND IT BACK I'VE
ALREADY RECIEVED HUNDREDS

My eyes miss u,my feels love u,my hands needs u,my mind calls u,my heart just
» 4 u , my live is u,i will die without u, i love u, aisa mery mama mujhay aksar...

Some One.. Misses You.. Needs You Worries About Yoy Lonely Without U Guess
» Who? The MONKEY IN ....THE ZOO....

» Ur Ultimate Ur Logicall Ur lovely Ur Unpredictable In shortcut ur ullu

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back
» saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a

» formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

wen a guy tellz u that he luvz u from the bottom of his heart b careful 4 this
» may mean dat.......!!!!!!........ he has enuf space 4 another girl on the top...

It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country,

» but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let's Thank... KAAMWALI

Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really
Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.
Joke)
Doctor: Kya taklif hai? Petient: Sote waqt SAAS ko lene me taqlif hoti hai. Doc:
»
Aaj se dus din sote vaqt SAAS ko nahi SAALI ko lo !

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.

» It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever.
PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd
 » time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
»
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha

MAMU :Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
»
GIRL :Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give
»
me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

A couple wanted khatna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper

» word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING
INSTRUMENTS

Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving, Husband: please slow down
» the speed of car. Wife: No ;please. No; please No please No pls.. Husband: the
Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of exident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...

MAMU :Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
»
MAMU KA DOST :Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write for mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long

n a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it's loss or profit?
»
student: Profit in rupees & loss in paise

A MAN: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. MAN: Radio
» label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all Radio PAKISTAN!

Boy: I'm not rich like Rahul, I don't even have a big car like Rahul, but I really
» Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

An old rich man marries a young girl. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein
» shaadi ke liye kya dekha? Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha,
» bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
 AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
»
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other

Once a chunti saw a dali of Gur , she went to eat it, but on the way she saw a
» muscular chunta,she left the gur and went to chunta,because, GUR NALO ISHQUE
MITHA, oyehoy

Banta Sing! u get marry with Santa after my death, Wife!, but why? He is ur no
» 1 enemy,Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with santa sing

Tcher: How Old is ur father. Sunny: As old as I m. Tcher: How is it possible?

» Sunny: He bcom father only after I was born.

My wife ran away with my best friend.

To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha: »
Light chali gayi hai, aadmi bhejo.
Replied "Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se kaam chala lo
A Wife is sleeping in the middle of the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up
quickly my hasband is here!!!"
»
the man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himslef and then
realizes "Damn, I am the hasband!!!"
Who's guilty in the situation?????????????

Best SMS of the year- a Mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 Years, but a
» girl makes him STUPID in 2 minutes

A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams,whichthe

» father receives as:"father, your daughter has been successful in BED."

in chemistry class teacher asked a girl:what r Nitrates?Girl answered

» shyly:nights rates r high then day ..!

Judge-y did u attack tat young man?

» Old lady- he grabbed me, took my clothes off, threw me on d bed & shouted
APRIL FOOL!

Can U name FIVE Great KINGS who have brought HAPPINESS into PEOPLES
» LIVES??
ANSWER: "drin-KING, smo-KING, lic-KING, suc-KING & ofcourse fucKING

Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
»
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain

1986 ke girl; Mama jeans pehen lon

Mom;Na baiti log kiya kahen gay.
»
2006 ke girl;Mama mini skirt pehen lon
Mom; pehen baiti kuch to pehen.............

How Do U Tell To UR Girlfriend If U Want 2 go 2 Toilet During Dinner?

» Darling,I've 2 Shake Hands with a Close friend of MIne Whom I'm Going 2
introduce 2 u Later

Santa: What is the weather like ? Banta: I do not know it is so foggy that i
»
cannot see.

Boy: Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from? Father: Well, son, you
»
must have gotten it from your mother Because i still have mine.

Q: Know what the difference between in laws and outlaws is ? Ans: Outlaws are
»
wanted!

Ques: What did the valentine card say to the stamp ? Ans: Stick with me and
»
we will go to lots of places!

Company offered Rs.500 for each money saving idea submitted by its
» employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the award be cut to
Rs.250.

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%. Santa: That is great, I
»
will take two of them.

Ques: What did the gangsters son tell his dad when he failed his examination ?
»
Ans: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but i never told them anything.

Doc: Your fee is more then we get paid for medical care. Mechanic : You always
» have the same model but we have to keep up to date with new models every
year.

Ques: Did you hear about the blonde who was tap dancing? Ans: She broke her
»
ankle when he fell into the sink.

Mom: Where are you off to now? Son: I am gonna join the army. Mom: But
legally you are only an infant. Son: That is all right, I am going to Join the
Infantry
Boss: I will give you 3000 Per month and in three months, I will raise it to 6000.
»
So when would you like to start? Santa: In three months.

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. Anything
»
new at work? He replied, No, I am teaching History.

Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here.

» Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop.
Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.

Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory.
»
student: WOW!

Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht

» virtue wuld I be showing?"
Student:"Brotherly love

PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot

»
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...

A girl says to her boyfriend, One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
»
The guy says thanks for the warning!

World's Smallest resignation letter?

» Respected sir,
I luv ur wife

Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he

» hasn`t come back yet!
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.

Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93
years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She
said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!