HOROSCOPE SIGNS PLAY

All horoscope signs are in the elevator of a big hotel. However, the elevator gets stuck. They all begin a
conversation:

Act 1
STUCKED IN THE ELEVATOR

Cancer: What happened?

Gemini: OMG, we got stuck!

Leo: Come on, buddy! It must have stopped accidentally.

Virgo: This cannot be happening right now!

Aries: Let’s check what is going on (starts pressing the buttons).

Scorpio: Hey, you are pressing too hard! Relax!

Aries: Come on! Do you think it’s better to just sit here and wait?

Libra: Calm down, please! This is not the right time for having tough arguments!

Virgo: The fact that we are stuck doesn’t matter really… Do you know how much work I have for today?!?

Capricorn: Everybody has different obligations, but instead of panicking, let’s do something rational and useful.

Aquarius: Right. There must be a mechanic on duty. Neighbor, please press the red button.

Gemini: Of course. It doesn’t work. OMG this is going to be real fun!

Pisces: Look at him! Is this funny for you?!

Sagittarius: Why not? Shall we cry or what?

Leo: Listen to me carefully. Firstly, has anybody got any tools or instruments?

Aquarius: I do, but I still cannot realize what’s the best thing to be done right now.

Taurus: I wouldn’t play tricks here. This is an elevator, and we are being a hundred meters above the ground.

Aries: Come on! Are you planning to stay here all night? I don’t have time for whining and falling into despair! If it
doesn’t go smoothly, I’ll try it roughly… (starts kicking the door).

Libra: Come down, dear neighbor! You shouldn’t be doing that. It’s dangerous!

Scorpio: Let him proceed! Don’t you see he has a hole in the head!?

Aries:  Hey, I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission… so, if you want to talk to me, you should show
respect to those who are way smarter than you!
Scorpio: I can talk to you in a different way as well! Actually, we could do it right here, in this very elevator!

Leo: Ladies and gentlemen, I do not allow such behavior! I undertake everything in my hands and I want you to
listen to me very carefully! First of all, everybody calm down!

Cancer: How can we calm down? We are being stuck here for half an hour and we are still helpless!

Virgo: That’s right! We aren’t aware what can happen to us.

Scorpio: Do what you want! I cannot endure here any longer. I have to light a cigarette!

Cancer: Oh please, don’t! We are going to suffocate!

Virgo: Find the ventilation please, we cannot breathe here anymore!

Aries: I will try again!

Everyone but the Sagittarius: Noooo!

Sagittarius: I agree with Aries. If we break the elevator door by knocking it down, we might get one floor lower
and get out of it.

Capricorn: Don’t you dare! That’s out of the question!

Pisces: Right! God knows what might happen while we are going down! Someone might fall off the elevator.

Libra: Neighbor, what do you think about this?

Taurus: Are you talking to me?

Libra: Yes. I can see you’re cold as a stone!

Taurus: Don’t ask me anything. It is lunch time now and at that time I don’t elaborate complicated issues.

Gemini: Why are you so upset and worried? I have a pack of playing cards, so we could use them and have
some fun instead. Shall we start?

Cancer: You are insane!

Capricorn: Neighbor, provided that you ate your sandwich, and you said you had a solution, let’s hear it!

Taurus: The solution is simple, we will wait for the electricity to come again! (the elevator is shaking)

Cancer, Virgo and Pisces: OMG what is this?

Gemini and Sagittarius: The real fun is about to start!

Aquarius: We are saved at last - the electricity in on!

Sagittarius: Now, we will get out of the elevator and have a cup of coffee at my place. This must be celebrated!
Act 2
LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE

6:00 – Virgo: (Gets up, cleans the mirror in the bathroom) This mirror is always dirty… Anyway, now it’s much
better. (Brushes her teeth, and puts the tooth brush in a separate box, away from the other brushes.) Sings…

6:15 – Capricorn: (Gets up) Another day, another fight… Today I am going to make that big deal and win the CEO’s
affection… smiles… what?!? The period for the cheap electricity has already passed?! (switches the boiler off)

6:20 – Aquarius: Hey buddies! I am going jogging. Anybody interested in joining me?!

Libra: I would have but I have to put some make up, iron my shirt, clean my high heels…

Aquarius: Then, I am leaving… I have no time for staff like that! I will run with my mermaid…

6:30 – Leo: Move away from the mirror!

Libra: Give me the moisturizer and off you go!

Leo: But I have been waiting for the mirror for hours! Give me the hair gel!

Libra: I won’t! The mirror is my possession and I am in a hurry right now, so please leave me alone.

Leo: This will be settled in a different manner! You know, I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I
improve your looks?

6:40 – Taurus: The Nutella is just perfect for mornings like this… I am felling so blessed right now.

6:45 – Sagittarius: I guess I will have to turn the boiler on once again. Anyway, I am so happy and nothing can
change that. Tonight, I am flying to London and I am so excited!!!

7:00 – Cancer: Virgo will you help me make sandwiches for the guys?

Virgo: I would, but I’m peeling the fruit right now and afterwards I’ll have to make juice. I don’t have
enough time for everything because everybody is expecting me to get all the things done …

Cancer: All right, I’ll make them all by myself! Gemini would you lend me a hand?

Gemini: (still in bed) I haven’t checked my Facebook, my Twiter and my Instagram yet. Wait a moment, will
you?

7:05 – Scorpio: I cannot stand these… (Leaves the door of the bathroom open) they are so antipathetic, frivolous
and silly! And you know what, you are dark and handsome. When it’s dark, you’re handsome… (laughs)

Libra: It is high time I buy me a mirror! And I don’t want to see you both ever again! You offended me so
heavily…(leaves the bathroom offended)

7:10 – Aries: - Good morning you all! I am ready for a new, fabulous, one of a kind day! I am going to seize this
day like never before! (Switches on his stopwatch)
7:11:45 – Aries: That’s better! Now I am 100% ready! My briefcase is prepared and my million dollar contacts are
waiting to be signed… What an outstanding life I lead! (Switches off his stopwatch)

7:15 – Taurus: Mornings are my favorite part of the day. This marvelous day is worth to be celebrated with a jar of
Nutella (finishes the Nutella and closes the jar)

Scorpio: Hey you! The fridge is not your possession only! I expect you to buy some more Nutella jars today
or I shall make you do so! This evening I am making pancakes and you are not allowed to approach the dining
room!

Taurus: Please don’t do that to me! That’s the worst punishment ever! I will buy the whole supermarket
today and help you with the pancakes…

7:20 – (Libra and Leo are fighting in front of the mirror – final preparations before going to work.)

Capricorn: These people are so irrational! No saving money in this house… Am I obliged to turn the boiler
off all the time and pay attention to everything that is on and running?

7:30 – Aquarius: I suppose Capricorn had switched the boiler off again! Now I have to take a cold shower! I am
going to kill him!

Virgo: Juice and sandwiches are ready! Everybody take your lunch for today… And have an enchanting day!

7:40 – Everybody to everybody leaving the house: Bye, bye… Have a nice day! Have a wonderful day!

7:45 – Gemini: (Running home) I forgot my third phone on the charger!

7:50 – Gemini: (Running home again) This cannot be happening! I forgot my wallet again; yesterday I forgot my
lap top… Is this going to end?

8:00 – Pisces: Ooooh, I am late again! Has everybody left the house? Am I being locked in the house again? Oh
nooo!