Story title: To The Only Guy I’d Loved Before

By: @senpai_kanjee

Dear You,

I hope you're doing good today. I've been keeping myself busy since we broke up lately. I'm still stuck at
the moment where we first met at the university. Where we spend most of our time together, chatting
about each other's past lives and our past girlfriends and boyfriends. All the time we spent together, all
the places we visited together, and all the stories we shared, it's excellent and filled with love and care.
But, not everything will end as exactly we planned, isn't it? Everything in life isn't meant to last forever.
Relationships don't last forever.

One day, you went to our house. You confessed something to me, which made me shocked. I haven't
realized that you've been cheating on me for the past three years with my best friend. I was left
speechless after you confessed, admitting your worst action I could never forget. I wanted you to go, but
then you left. I wanted to cry, but then I did not. I wanted to hate you, but then I just can't. I was a mess
after you left me. And then I found myself crying all night thinking about what did go wrong.

For a while, I've hated myself. I couldn't help but think about what I did wrong. I couldn't help think
what have I had ever done wrong that would make you leave me just like that. I was left broken and
unfixable. You left me hanging and stranded without any explanation. I will keep asking myself if there's
anything I could do to fix us, to fix me, to fix everything we had. It was never part of my plan to wait for
you to love me again, but that's all I could do. You have been with me through ups and downs. You have
been part of my life for so long that's why it's harder for me to let my feelings go, to let you go.

Most people say that relations are left because of misunderstandings and lack of trust and care, but not
for me. Relationships don't last when you trust too much, and cheaters break the trust you built. Once
broken, the harder it is to build it up again. When a woman builds trust for the guy they love, it should
never be broken. Because once it is, it becomes difficult to gain it again, and she will never trust you for
life. Aside from that, you have given me trust issues over and over again to the point that I even doubted
myself every time I make mistakes.

After sitting here and thinking about what you said to me all these years was all just a lie. How could you
put a happy face when you're cheating behind my back? How could I say I love you when you're saying it
to other girls? How could you kiss me when you know you're kissing someone else's lips instead of
mine? How could you say you love me when you actually don't? One day, I woke up. It was sort of
waking up from an awful dream. I looked in the mirror and seeing how swollen my eyes got every
morning. I am finally able to realize how toxic our relationship was. How you and I never got to be happy
about entirely everything.

But just like every famous movie lines about bad relationships. Time heals, but not everything. Time has
passed, and I already moved on. All I could say for now is thank you, thank you for everything, thank you
for breaking my heart, and thank you for letting me go. I have been wondering why girls have to waste
precious tears for guys who don't deserve it. I finally got to realize why. I thought there's no worse pain
than losing you, and I thought I'd closed my heart forever. I thought you're the most remarkable human
being in the world who understands my mood swings until I realized that everything about you is a
reflection of what I want to do for myself.

Last night, I received an invitation from both of you. You're inviting me to your wedding day tomorrow. I
am happy to know that you have never forgotten about me, but I chose not to attend your special day.

Now I know why girls have to waste precious tears to make them realize how special they are. You don't
need a man to become healthy. I learned that. I learned to love myself, and I'm in love with me again.
You always win in life when you choose You, and from now on, I will keep choosing Me. This will be the
last letter that I will send to you.

Sincerely not yours,

Me