Jozy Jones

Dr Brewster and Prof Nolte

ENG 402
7 September 2021

Burnout, But Not Like the Car Tire

Burnout, but not like a candle vanished by a short wind. More like the kind that was
ignited for so long until coming to the last centimeter of liquid wax that saw the wick to its final
diffuse.
… Or achieving a goal and then being asked the dreaded, “What’s next?”

When your accomplishments begin feeling a little more like an expectation than a
celebration, you can pretty much expect that burnout feeling to flood your being. And the funny
thing about it is that you can almost never quite put your finger on the exact moment that you
first experienced that burnout. It all becomes just one big study session or one big day or one big
accomplishment that you really aren’t sure of why it was so important in the first place.
I used to do everything. And I did it all so eagerly, fueled by nothing more than my own
desire. And then one day, and I’m not sure what day, that desire-fueled attitude was no longer
there. Was it before or after I spent every day in a basketball or volleyball gym? Was it before or
after I read every single page of the books that I didn’t find interesting? Was it before or after I
was expected to get an A on every assignment and test no matter what I was going through? Was
it before or after I was valedictorian? When was it?
I’m not sure when exactly it was, but I could tell you every single thing that I missed out
on from working myself too hard. Looking back on it all that saying, “Keep your eye on the
prize,” is all I can remember doing. And what for? What difference would really almost any of it
made? Sometimes I just feel like I missed out on the experience of it all. And I think I feel even
worse about feeling like it was something to miss because I should be proud, right? That’s what
everyone tells me at least.
We’re all so young and instilled with the idea to work hard so we can have a bright future
from the day we start school. And that going to college is the only way to land a good paying job
to support yourself and one day a family. The only part that they leave out is how mentally and
physically draining the expectations can be and how the reward begins to feel like it’s a chore, or
worse; not worth it.