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Kathleen Archerd

Mr. McGinnis

English 10 / Satire

10 February 2011

DANGER! DANGER!

Temperature: forty-five degrees Fahrenheit. School district: Buncombe County. Road

conditions: just fine«but that could dramatically change over the next couple hours. We must

err on the side of caution. Therefore: SCHOOL CLOSED: ° ° 


 °
.

It is my deepest intention to convey to you the significant weight of student safety within

our school association. We must not place our students in such precarious situations that come

with the rumor of inclement weather. Yes, it is true that even  


 of snow hold

uncontainable danger. We cannot let the threat of the unknown journey to school rob the

security that our students have in their homes.

Let me explain to you some of the dangers we face: The first of these dangers is

uncertainty. As the students hear murmurs of snowy weather throughout the hallways, they

immediately are unsure of what the next day holds. It is assumed that they go home with giddy

anticipation mixed with a slight fear of school in the morning. When they have expectantly left

their assignments uncompleted, the declaration of school induces extreme panic and unwarranted

stress. I propose that we solve this problem by immediately cancelling school when the forecast

calls for snow at 15% or greater. By using this as our standard, we will drastically reduce the

uncertainty and, therefore, the stress level of our student body. I think it best to realize we are

operating only for the wellbeing of our students.


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The second danger that snow brings is obvious: the dangers on the road. One of my

greatest concerns, when it comes to student driving, is safety. Since a number of the students in

buncombe country consistently drive themselves to school, we must account for the lack of

driving experience. This factor calls for the need of extra caution when determining school

closings. I would like to address this concern by suggesting that schools forego the one- and

two-hour delays in light of the increasingly-popular three-hour delay. These three-hour delays

allow for the sun to rise and snow to melt before students can safely make their ways to school.

They also allow ample time for reevaluation of the road conditions. If there is the slightest

indication of ice, we will take every precaution and cancel school for the day.

Besides the assured safety of our students, there are other benefits to this precautious

outlook. One of these benefits is Saturday school. Over the weekends, students typically forget

much of the lessons they were taught on the previous Friday. By implementing Saturday school,

we work to close the learning gap. Saturday school will also keep students from engaging in

dangerous activities that they are drawn to on the weekends, such as partying, swimming, and

sleeping.

In this ever-cautious system of school closings, we also have needed to add days onto the

end of our school year. Once again, this will work to close the gap from one year to the next,

reducing the amount of material forgotten. Other benefits of extending the school year include,

but are not limited to: decreasing the students UV ray absorption, therefore decreasing risk of

cancer; allowing the students to continue their fellowship with each other a little while longer

before they graduate; providing the teachers with additional pay, and therefore the receiving of

supplementary government funds.


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It is plain to see that we can never be too cautious with the lives of our students. I hope

that we will enjoy many of these benefits in the years to come.

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