NARRATIVE ESSAY: She Wasn’t There’

Honk I Honk I The sound of my friend’s car, Anna honking from the

outside. I finished my cereals then put the bowl into the dishwasher. I ran

to my mother’s room, she lied in her queen size bed. My eyes watered

with tears just to looked at her condition, she has brain tumor. All the

things she got to do were lying on her bed, watch some tv series and do

some chemotherapy. She got worse every day. I could sense it she

loose her appetite, her face went pale and her hairs started to falling

from its root. She has been fighting with this for a long time. She was

strong but one day she will leave me too. I always wanted to stop

schooling so I can take care of her. She was the reason I stayed. She

said Aunt Sarah can took care of her. Aunt Sarah was the only decent

human who wanted help us. Mother also said education can change our

life. Another honk has shaken me up from thoughts. I wipe the tears that

rolled down on my cheeks and planted a kiss on her forehead. I glanced

to the clock once again before stormed off to Anna’s car.

Another regular Tuesday, nothing much just a boring school day. I was

absent yesterday because I had bring mother to the hospital for the

chemotherapy. I took the usual seat in the English class. I tapped my

index finger on the desk, worried of Anna’s absence she supposed to be

here few minutes earlier than me. Then I saw Anna walking into the

class with Bella. Bella was the ‘royalty’ of the school. People would

automatically hooded their head and agreed to every little thing she did,

said or pointed she had this confidences that as very intimidating

especially to people like me she was the limelight in the school while I

was literally no one. I was invisible from the first day of high school.

Anna was the only person who wanted to be my friend and from that day

on, I knew we were ‘BFFs’. I have been observed their movements from

a far. Anna laughed over something Bella said. My jaw clenched and

anger boiled up inside of me. We both promised to never let any one of

us being left alone. I felt betrayed by Anna, but she must had her own

reasons…right? My classmate said our English teacher has paired us up

yesterday for an assignment project. How could Anna chose Bella

instead of me? That moment when Anna turned her head to look at me

with her apologetic smile. That’s okay, it was just a bad day, right?
I was wrong. I thought when the doctor confirmed that mother was free

from her brain tumor last two weeks she would be okay. No, she did not

she died in my embrace last night while she was stroking my hairs

gently. Today was her funeral, the day we filled in with sadness and

grey. I sat behind her coffin while running my fingers on it, I missed her .i

received condolences from family and neighbours. ‘Are you okay?’ being

asked to me for the millionth times today. How I am going to be okay? I

lose my mother. Now, I had no one else to talk, to cry on and to laugh

with. My head tilled when I heard someone was calling my name. It was

Jess, Anna’s mother I quickly wiped all the tears and asked ‘where is

Anna?’, Jess gave me an apologetic smile and said that her daughter

was currently with Bella because today was Bella’s 16th birthday. I

excuse myself to go the ladies room because in any minutes I would

have burst into tears. I ran to the ladies room, pushed the first door I saw

opened and locked myself in it I slide down to the ground slowly then

pulled my knees to my chest. My nose was running and I let the dam of

tears flood. I felt devastated, broken and vulnerable. I lost everyone I

loved in one day.

First day of school after a few weeks of me grieving over my mother’s

death. My classmates were very generous to let me copied their notes.

Since mother’s death, Aunt Sarah asked me to move into her house.

She became my mother since I could not be thankful enough. As I

walked into the English class, I can felt all eyes were on me. Anna and I

looked eye to eye but I can saw that she has changed. There was

something different in her. I sat in the corner of the class, far away from

Anna and her new friends. I walked to my seat quickly trying to break the

attention. After an hour of my English teacher’s lecture, it was time for

lunch. I wait for all the students to get out of class then I shoved all of my

things into my bag. I stood up then Anna was blocking my path. She

seems furious. She wanted me to hang out with her friends but I did not

want to. Then, she turned into a storm and she yelled at my face

because I did not want to move on from my mother’s death. Her words

hurt me, my heart started to aching. She was too harsh but I am tired of

arguing so I walked away from her. It was not worth it.

I finished packing my things. I push strands of hair behind my ear and let

out a relief sigh. I was going to stay with grandparents back in my

hometown. I was ready to go, to move forward. My head tilted to the

sound someone knocked the door. I jogged a little bit towards the door

to open it. I opened the door, revealing Anna looked right into my eyes. I

felt guilty because I did not tell her I was going to go. She apologise

genuinely. She felt regret and asked if I can change my mind. Nothing’s

going to change my decision. Even though I forgave her, I knew it would

never be the same.