A scene from

‘The School for Princesses’

By Irina Kuznekov

TIME : Once upon a time.

SETTING: Exclusive Medieval boarding school for daughters of kings and queens. It is here, under the training of the
elegant Queen Mystica, that they learn what it takes to be a proper princess.

CHARACTERS: PRINCESS ANNA, a new student | PRINCESS GLORIANA, obsessed with beauty
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GLORIANA: Mirror, mirror, tell me true. Who’s the cutest one in view? (Blows a kiss to herself. ANNA walks into the

room.)

ANNA: What are you doing?

GLORIANA (Exasperated): As if it weren’t perfectly obvious!

ANNA (Puzzled): Putting on your makeup?

GLORIANA: Perfecting perfection. (She spins around and strikes a cover girl pose.) Well? What do you think?

ANNA: You look very nice.

GLORIANA: Nice?! Listen, Missy, I haven’t been sitting here since 4:00 in the morning just to look nice!

ANNA: You’ve been up since 4 in the morning?

GLORIANA: Being beautiful is a very serious responsibility. (She looks ANNA over.) Not that I could begin to explain it

to someone like you.

ANNA (Hurt by her remark but still trying to be friendly): Do you mind if I move some of your things and sit down?

I’ve just had a really long walk.

GLORIANA (Returning to study her reflection): As long as you don’t mess anything up. I’ve got everything categorized

by day of the week and hour of the day.

ANNA (Starting to hang clothes over the screen): I’ve never seen so many clothes before! Do you actually wear all of

them?

GLORIANA: Duh. Like I’d be caught dead wearing the same gown two hours in a row! (ANNA notices the framed

photograph.)

ANNA: Is that your mom?

GLORIANA: Yes. Poor thing. Absolutely no sense of fashion. Just look at that dress!

ANNA: What’s wrong with it?

GLORIANA: Hello? It wasn’t even in vogue when she fell asleep in it, much less a hundred years later. I’m surprised

my father even looked twice at her.

ANNA: But it was so romantic! Their first kiss made all the kingdom newspapers!

GLORIANA: And the way I meet my future prince will make even more headlines! That’s why I work at it every single

day.

ANNA: Work at what?

GLORIANA: Being beautiful, silly. It’s the only thing in life that matters.

ANNA: But what about—

GLORIANA (Suddenly aghast, as she leans forward in the mirror): Oh, no!

ANNA (With concern): What is it?

GLORIANA: You mean you can’t see it? How could such a horrible thing happen to someone as flawless as me?!

ANNA: What are you talking about?

GLORIANA (With great drama as she points to her forehead): This! (ANNA moves in closer and closer and even closer

to see. She withdraws in puzzlement.)

ANNA (With a shrug): It’s just a little spot on your forehead.

GLORIANA: A spot? Aaargh! It’s the world’s biggest zit and it’s picked the worst possible time in the universe to

show up!

ANNA: I’m sure no one will even notice.

GLORIANA: Of course they won’t notice. (Folds arms defiantly) That’s because I’m going to sit here in my room until

it goes back where it came from! (ANNA is backing out of the room.)

ANNA (In disbelief): Um OK—whatever you say. (Exits)

End