Farhan Hafizhan

0403517013

Menulis Kreatif

Trauma

My name is Sandi. I am 21 years old. I'm working at the Internet Cafe where I usually play
with my best friend. The difference is, I take care of it and make coffee and instant noodles
for the customers. But it's okay, with this, it's enough to keep me alive. Also, I can play
games for life.
I have no family. My parents are dead. But, I am kind of relieved that I have no one to
accompany me except Billy, my best friend.
The morning has arrived, "Hoaammm, work again, huh? It comes too fast. Didn't feel like it.
argh Come on, let's work." I prepared my body and soul for today's work.
 "Shit, where the fucking keys? Argh, this is why I don't drink on Sundays." I'm looking
everywhere, in the bathroom, my bedroom, the living room. And finally, the place I avoided
most, the warehouse.
 "Your joking, right? Seriously? The warehouse? huff Okay then, what else can I do. In the
name of God, here goes nothing." Finally, I opened the door. The warehouse was full of dust
and cobwebs that covered the boxes containing my parents' belongings. "Where are the
fucking key?" 
Suddenly, I saw a metal motor key on the floor between the bald boxes. "AAHH Finally,
there you are, my baby, you make me worry, you know?" Then when I took my keys, I
suddenly glanced at an old box. At that time, my feelings began to tremble "ahh fuck, I didn't
like this feeling." So I went straight from there and was ready to go to the cafe.
When I got to the cafe, the recent incident was still on my mind. My mind became blurred
like rollercoaster rides. Finally, I calmed myself down with Self-relaxation by placing my
right hand in my chest and left hand at the stomach. "Let's take a breath, let's exhale through
the mouth, let's assume that the incident doesn't exist, and everything will be fine." I felt relax
after doing that although, it still remains. But, I will continue my work as usual.
The night had come, at the front of the café, I saw a man who entered the cafe: that man
Billy, my best friend. "Bil, there are still 3 people, Revelation, and his gang. So, Have a good
day, Bye." I said to Billy, "yes, Sandi, just relax," said Billy. Finally, I hurried home from
Billy's cafe.
When the first red light flashed, telling me to stop a while made me bored. So I looked
around at the streets. Around me, the road was dark. The lights are only in the rays of other
vehicles. And suddenly, I saw a man wearing a clown costume. He approached motorbikes
and cars to beg for money. I, at that moment, simply ignored him by lowering my head until
the green light flashed. Then, when the green light flashed, I finally continued my journey.
When I arrived at the second red light, my mind became blurry again because of it. While
waiting, I did another therapy that I did at the internet cafe while looking around the street.
Then at that moment, I saw another clown who was similar to the previous red light. 
"It's strange, the costume can be the same; how could it be?" I thought. "Calm down... Maybe
it's the same, maybe they were made in the same factory." My thoughts are trying to be
positive. Then the green light arrived, I continued my journey again. Then on the road, I
thought about it even more and made my body tremble even more.
Finally, I arrived home too. But somehow, I still felt goosebumps. Then when I entered the
motorbike into the house, I saw something standing on a street light near my house. A figure
like the one I saw at a red light. My body is shaking with fear. "Hey dog, what are you doing
there? Will you follow me until home? I shouted at the clown. The clown was just silent and
standing under the flickering light. Finally, I planned to enter the house and close all access to
the house and immediately run away to the room. I then peeked through the window. 
"Hey you, What the Fuck are you doing, huh? Are you following me? Shit" My mind and
body were very calm. I'm planning to call Billy. "Bil ... BIL, BIL ... c'mon pick up the
phone." But, Billy did not pick up. "Where are you kids? Cmon man, I need you" I said with
heart shaking.
After a few hours, I peeked through the window again. And the clown's condition is still the
same under the street lights. "argh!! Is this real? who is he? What does he want from me ? I
have nothing, "I said gleefully. Billy still not yet to answer or reply to my message. 
My whole body is trembling. The therapy I used to use didn't have any effect. I've been trying
to find a way to get the clown out of my neighborhood. For the umpteenth time I peeked at
the window. Suddenly, the clown was at my door. I was scared, and my body felt like chills.
In the end I dared to fight the clown. "Damn, this is too much, I will kill you like hell." I'm
upset about this situation. Then, I crept quickly towards the kitchen and looked for a knife to
fight it.
And finally, a sharp white knife was in my grasp. I started moving again, crept up to the front
of the door. My whole body was trembling and my heart was beating very fast as if it was
about to come off. Then, I decided to close my eyes while killing the clown. "Come on, you
can Sandi. Count on 3 .. 1… 2… 3." I also immediately opened the door and immediately
rushed to kill this bastard clown by closing his eyes. : DIE!!! DIE!! YOU BITCH, I KILL
YOU!! "I shouted, stabbing the clown. I'm satisfied, I'm confident that I finally killed this
clown. It felt relieved like that time.
Suddenly, a limp whisper sounded in my ear "ssandiiii, saaandi," the whispering voice. I also
opened my eyes slowly. I saw blood and a body shedding blood on the floor. My hands are
also filled with blood. But, I feel even more strange seeing a clothes different from what I
saw before. The whispering voice is too weird, as I've heard. The voice is very similar with
somebody. Somebody Who always accompanies me when I don't have anything and anyone.
No one wants to get acquainted with me because I am a poor orphan. But, in the end, there is
always someone who want me to hear my stories like he is of my family, my best friend
Billy.
When I looked at his face, I saw that what I killed was not the clown, but Billy. "Bil ...
BILBILBIL BILBILBIL NONONONO WHY BIL? WHY!!?? sob sob," I cried while crying.
I'm confused why this happened to me. I am terrified of being in this world. I can't seem to
escape from his shadow. The shadow that was always remembers him who tormented me
when I was 9 years old. Tortured, whipped with a broom, kicked hard. A memory that I was
planned to killed him That Finally, I'm so relieved. On the day of his funeral, I also felt
relieved and laughed.
Several hours later, police officers came over to me after hearing from my next-door
neighbor because of my screams. Then, I'm being taken to the police station. My mind is
empty, like a zombie who has died and can't control my body and soul. The police officer
asks me about what happened back there. But, I was just silent. Then, finally, the police
searched for information about me, and they were shocked. the officer's whisper about the
criminal track record was written "murder of his biological father." At that time, I
remembered an incident where I killed my father with a sharp knife that I stab him many
times while entertaining people in clown costumes. I stabbed him with the feelings that I had
buried during my childhood. I was always beaten, kicked, spat on, and other things that made
me want to kill him. During my father's funeral, I smiled and was relieved that there would be
no more shadow for him as long as he died.
The police ended up putting me in rehab for a long time because they indicated that I was in
trauma.

The end