Addressing Quitters – jpdaley25

jpdaley25
Re: quitters in your school
Full Member « Reply #12 Today at 9:05am »

member is online
Nov 1, 2009, 2:59pm, khalfie wrote:

Nov 1, 2009, 2:50pm, coachjuice wrote:

We are going through this right now. We began the season off very promising and just
like everyone else's year we met adversity. There was a specific group that we relied on
including our best and biggest player that quit one after the other. We have protected
this kid (bad rumors) and nurtured this kid then he did not show up for a week. He came
the Friday before the game and then did not show up Saturday for the bus. The
following Monday he showed up for practice and I sent him home. Told him to come
Joined: Feb 2008 back tomorrow, he never came back!

All of the boys are still friends with these kids.... They eat lunch with one another still
Gender: Male buddy it up. Unbelievable.
Posts: 779
Had that happen to me a while back...

And the more I reflect upon it... it was my fault. Taking over a struggling program, I was trying to
foster ownership in something, no one wanted ownership of... a struggling program.

It quickly became my program, and I embraced it as such... taking as much pride in it, as a coach
could. Some players bought in, but those that didn't, those that quit, had an easy out. They were
quitting me... not their buddies, not their school, not their families, but me.

So they could still be with their buddies, who didn't quit, because in everyone's mind, they had quit
me... and not the team.

If I had it to do all over again... I'd really focus more on the embodiment of team, family, and their
responsibility to each other, almost removing me, from the equation.

A great deal of wisdom in this post and I wish I had seen it about five
years ago.

When I talk about this to the kids I use the analogy of a fight:

"There are three guys that want to kick Jim's butt tonight at the movie
theatre parking lot. Jim asks his buddies Tom and Bill if they will help
him. Tom and Bill say 'You can count on me. I will be there!'

Now, when it's time for the fight, Bill shows up but Tom is nowhere to be
seen. Jim and Bill get their butt's stomped.

Now, how should Jim and Bill feel about Tom after that? Do you think
Jim and Bill should still be best buddies with Tom? Do you think Jim and
Bill should still hang out with Tom at school? In the halls? In the
cafeteria? In Town? "

(The kids always say "hang out with em? are you kiddin? I would beat
the crap out of him!)

And I continue, "Tom bailed out on Jim and Bill for one fight and you
guys are ready to dump him for life. Why?"

(Because he let them down, he ain't got no heart!)

"What if Tom had told you, guaranteed you, that he would be there for
10 fights - Would you hold that against him any worse?"
 (I'd never talk to that dude again)

"Well, that's what football season is. It's 10 big gang fights and some of
the guys that you were counting on to help you fight those fights won't
be there. Are they any different from Tom?"

(No)

"Then why do you still hang out with them in the hallways, in the
cafeteria, and in town?"

Sillence.

"Think about that."

A few guys get the message, but the rest go back to hanging out with
the quitters. It drives me nutts!

jpdaley25 Re: quitters in your school

Full Member « Reply #16 Today at 10:09am »

member is online
I worked with a coach who wrote the names of the quitters in the locker
room urinals! So, every time someone had to whizz, they were peeing on
a quitter's name.

Unfortunately, our urinals here aren't big enough to hold all the names.

Joined: Feb 2008

Gender: Male
Posts: 779