1

Hang

Le Nguyet Hang

Reviewer: Ninh Hoang Vy

Professor Pham Thi Hong Yen

Business English

30th October 2021

Children Should Use Electronic Devices Under Their Parents’ Control

Modern technology has brought about great advances and unforeseen challenges.

Among the most demanding of these challenges is the need to ensure children use electronic

devices healthily and productively, as they are having easy access to electronic devices than

ever. According to a research report in 2017, “Nearly all (98 per cent) children aged 8 and

under live in a home with some type of mobile device… Ninety-five per cent of families with

children this age now has a smartphone, up from 63 per cent in 2013 and 41 per cent in 2011,

and 78 per cent have a tablet” (The Common Sense Census: Media Use By Kids Age Zero To

Eight, 3) [12]. Therefore, the question of whether parents should monitor their child’s usage

is paramount for the well-being of children.

While electronic devices and digital media have certainly improved our lives in many

ways, research has shown that many areas of health and function can be negatively impacted

by overexposure, which can lead to a wide variety of related health issues.

Firstly, it is undeniable that electronic devices are bad for the body, especially those

of children, which are entering the development phase. Research conducted by Nightingale in

2017 has shown that too much screen time can lead to various health problems, including

insulin resistance, obesity, increase abdominal fat, and a higher risk of Type 2 Diabetes

[11,14]. The reason cited for those deadly diseases is an increase in idle time in front of the
2
Hang

screen. When using electronic devices, kids are more sedentary and move less, while tending

to eat more junk foods, such as snacks or pizza. The lack of outdoor activities and more time

spent sitting or lying raises the likeliness of weight gain, poor muscle development and

negatively impacts the brain. In research published in Developmental Review journals in

2001, it was proved that movement was needed to form brain connections, which were

necessary for everything, from physical coordination to communication and social skills [7].

Another concern arising when children use electronic devices without time limitations

is sleeping issues. Overuse of electronic devices, particularly close to bedtime is also a cause

that disrupts the sleep cycle and decreases sleeping quality [6,9], as these devices emit blue

light that tricks our brains into thinking it is daytime. Consequently, it is harder for children

to fall asleep and stay in NREM stage 3, during which their body starts its physical repairs

[1]. Poor sleeping quality over a long period can cause severe sleep deprivation and result in

the cognitive development of children.

The list of health problems caused by overusing electronic devices does not stop here

but continue with children’s mental well-being, as kids are highly susceptible to

overstimulation without realizing it. The nagging situation can result in worse moods, more

anxiety, a higher level of irritability and defiant behaviours. According to a research paper in

2015, the connections between children’s use of electronic devices and mental health are

clear: As use increases, so does the risk of mental health problems, including depression,

anxiety, ADHD, mood disorders, and suicidality [13]. Published in British Journal of Sports

Medicine in the same year, researchers acknowledged that children using devices for more

than 2 hours per day have increased risk of depression, and that risk rises as screen time

increases [10]. In addition, when children are connected to social media platforms, they are

highly likely to be suffered from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), which drives up stress and

anxiety level as they always feel an urge to be constantly updated on information [5].
3
Hang

Health is not the only aspect threatened by using electronic devices under little or no

control. The detrimental effects of overusing infiltrate into children’s privacy and put their

lives in danger. Due to digital connectivity, it has never been easier for bullies, sex offenders,

traffickers and those who harm children to attack their potential victims. Children’s safety is

at stake, as their identification is easily accessible to anonymous offenders through many

social media channels and online forums. In a new poll released in 2019 by UNICEF and the

UN Special Representative of the Secretary-General (SRSG) on Violence against Children,

one in three young people in 30 countries said they have been a victim of online bullying,

with one in five reporting having skipped school due to cyberbullying and violence [4]. The

potential for bullies to instantly disseminate violent, hurtful, or humiliating words or images

is unprecedented. Moreover, once such content is posted, deleting it is difficult, which

increases the risk of victims being revictimized and makes it hard for them to recover. Even

when children do not suffer from cyberbullying or online crimes, the constantly evolving

nature of digital technology, which includes the harmful dark web, poses a real problem for

children if they have access to it without proper guidance and knowledge. Pornographic and

self-harm content is rampant online, and exposure to them can cause significant negative

consequences (what consequences? More realistic examples about children bringing violent

games into real life, debauchery,…) if parents are not aware and the issue is not discussed

and addressed for the child.

With all those above reasons, it is obvious that using electronic devices without

adults’ guidance can bring about extremely harmful impacts on children, and parents should

take a step in monitoring their children. But why parents are the ones who take the

responsibility? And how should they implement strategies to achieve the best result without

stress and tension?

4
Hang

The reason why parents should be the ones who monitor children’s screen time lies in

their relationship with their kids. Parents should understand that monitoring electronic

devices usage has more to do with the affectionate relationship and less to do with using

technology to track their every move. It should be parents who know their child better than

anyone else, and who have a mutual understanding with them. Given the outbreak of the

Covid-19 pandemic, when schools are closed and using digital devices for regular education

children spend most of their time at home with their parents. Therefore, if parents ignore or

struggle with controlling, they are providing children a higher chance of being engrossed in

digital devices, which can result in an endless list of harmful effects mentioned above.

Although it is challenging for parents to devise the most feasible solutions in monitoring, as

most of them are the first-generation raising kids in the era of digital technology, parents are

still adults who can rationally be aware of the potential risks and provide guidance for their

child when risks become harm. One of the simplest ways to control screen time is parents’

modelling because kids will go by what they see you are doing much more than what you say

you will do. Parents should be conscious about their own usage of electronic devices, putting

their phones down when talking with their kids, trying to be active without electronic devices

around. As time goes by, kids will gradually follow their parents’ behaviours without

wondering or feeling resented. In combination with this key approach, parents can apply

other useful tips recommended by UNICEF: focus on the content more than duration, no

screen time before bed, encourage children to pursue hobbies and build skills [3].

“We often hear so much about the risks associated with children using the internet,

but less about how we can build their online resilience and digital skills,” said Priscilla Idele,

Director, a.i, of UNICEF’s Office of Research-Innocenti. According to “Growing in a

Connected World” – a report produced by the UNICEF Office of Research – Innocenti and

the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE), and based on research by
5
Hang

Global Kids Online, data on internet use among nearly 15,000 internet-using children in 11

countries across continents showed that the activities children engage in online – even those

typically seen as entertainment - are crucial for building digital skills [15]. The researchers

compared two groups of children, one participating in a wider range of online activities,

while the other have limited access to the internet. The result strengthened the positive effect

of electronic devices when used properly: the former group indicated a more skillful ability to

use digital skills, in contrast to weaker digital skills of the latter. Even the most basic purpose

of electronic devices - online entertainment, can help young children develop an interest in

educational, informative, and social online experiences. Encouraging children to extend their

online activities beyond entertainment alone, not so surprising, can enable them to develop a

range of technical and critical capacities, according to the report.

Electronic devices are a double-edged sword with their own pros and cons. If children

are allowed to use them under little or no control, the high likeliness is that their health, both

mental and physical, will be negatively impacted, which can lead to severe repercussions in

the long term. Moreover, the lack of control can also put children’s safety at risk of being

damaged by cyberbullying or harmful content. As the ones who are knowledgeable and close

to children, parents should take responsibility and have control over screen time as well as

content consumed by their child. Done right, electronic devices are great ways for children to

entertain, learn and connect.

Works cited:

1. “Brain Basics: Understanding Sleep.” National Institute of Neurological Disorders

and Stroke, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/Patient-Caregiver-Education/Understanding-

Sleep.
6
Hang

2. “Done Right, Internet Use among Children Can Increase Learning Opportunities and

Build Digital Skills.” UNICEF, 28 Oct. 2021, https://www.unicef.org/press-

releases/done-right-internet-use-among-children-can-increase-learning-opportunities-

and-build.

3. “Ten Tips for Cutting down on Screen Time during the COVID-19 Pandemic.”

UNICEF India, https://www.unicef.org/india/parentingtips/ten-tips-cutting-down-

screen-time-during-covid-19.

4. “UNICEF Poll: More Than a Third of Young People in 30 Countries Report Being a

Victim of Online Bullying.” UNICEF, 28 Oct. 2021, https://www.unicef.org/press-

releases/unicef-poll-more-third-young-people-30-countries-report-being-victim-

online-bullying.

5. Beyens, Ine, Eline Frison, and Steven Eggermont. "I don’t want to miss a thing”:

Adolescents’ fear of missing out and its relationship to adolescents’ social needs,

Facebook use, and Facebook related stress." Computers in Human Behavior 64

(2016): 1-8.

6. Cain, Neralie, and Michael Gradisar. "Electronic media use and sleep in school-aged

children and adolescents: A review." Sleep Medicine 11.8 (2010): 735-742.

7. Eaton, Warren O., Nancy A. McKeen, and Darren W. Campbell. "The waxing and

waning of movement: Implications for psychological development." Developmental

Review 21.2 (2001): 205-223.

8. Keeley, Brian, and Céline Little. The State of the Worlds Children 2017: Children in a

Digital World. UNICEF. 3 United Nations Plaza, New York, NY 10017, 2017.

9. Lemola, Sakari, et al. "Adolescents’ electronic media use at night, sleep disturbance,

and depressive symptoms in the smartphone age." Journal of youth and adolescence

44.2 (2015): 405-418.

7
Hang

10. Liu, Mingli, Lang Wu, and Shuqiao Yao. "Dose-response association of screen time-

based sedentary behaviour in children and adolescents and depression: a meta-

analysis of observational studies." British journal of sports medicine 50.20 (2016):

1252-1258.

11. Nightingale, Claire M., et al. "Screen time is associated with adiposity and insulin

resistance in children." Archives of disease in childhood 102.7 (2017): 612-616.

12. Rideout, Victoria. "The Common Sense census: Media use by kids age zero to eight."

San Francisco, CA: Common Sense Media (2017): 3.

13. Sampasa-Kanyinga, Hugues, and Rosamund F. Lewis. "Frequent use of social

networking sites is associated with poor psychological functioning among children

and adolescents." Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking 18.7 (2015):

380-385.

14. Suchert, Vivien, Reiner Hanewinkel, and Barbara Isensee. "Screen time, weight status

and the self-concept of physical attractiveness in adolescents." Journal of adolescence

48 (2016): 11-17.

15. Winther, Daniel Kardefelt, Sonia Livingstone, and Marium Saeed. Growing up in a

connected world. No. inorer1060. 2019.

8
Hang

Peer-review:

1) A Focused Well-Presented Issue

Summarize: Parents have to prevent children use electronic devices unhealthily and
unproductively due to their negative impacts on children’s development.

Praise:

 The issue is stated straightforwardly and clearly

E.g: “Among the most demanding of these challenges is the need to ensure children use
electronic devices healthily and productively, as they are having easy access to electronic
devices than ever.”

 The issue is mentioned in all topic sentences. Therefore, readers can find what to
focus on easily in the paragraphs

Critique: N/A

2) A Well-Supported Position

Summarize: The writer completely agrees with the fact that children must be put under
parents’ control when using electronic devices due to drawbacks of technology over usage.

 Thesis statement: “Among the most demanding of these challenges is the need to
ensure children use electronic devices healthily and productively.”
 Argument 1: Overexposure and too much screen time make kids move and do
activities less, which leads to deadly diseases and sleeping issues
 Argument 2: Internet threatens children’s privacy and safety
 Argument 3: Dark web and dark content negatively affects children’s awareness

Praise: 

 Examples and evidences effectively prove the writer’s opinion

E.g: Science research on how movement shortage degrades brain connections => directly
affects physical coordination to communication and social skills 

 Most arguments are carefully supported by evidence and examples.

 All evidence is from reliable resources and trustworthy authorities.

Critique: 

 Some weak arguments: 

 The writer mentioned “overexposure” but only argued carefully about the
negativeness of “too much screen time”. These definitions are not the same
9
Hang

 The writer mentioned “while tending to eat more junk foods, such as snacks or
pizza”, which is definitely not the consequence of sitting in front of computers
or phones.
 Children don’t actually have anxiety and stress when joining social media =>
this argument should be explained more critically
 The danger of the dark web and unauthorized content on the Internet is not
well discussed 
 Should include more daily life examples besides science statistics. 

3) An Effective Response to Opposing Views

Summarize: It is undeniable that electronic devices and technology have improved our lives
in many ways.

Praise: The writer cleverly included the benefits of electronic devices to balance between
views while not making her position disunited. 

E.g: “While electronic devices and digital media have certainly improved our lives in many
ways, research has shown that many areas of health and function can be negatively impacted
by overexposure, which can lead to a wide variety of related health issues.”

Critique: N/A

4) A Clear, Logical Organization

Summarize: 

 Transitions: “Firstly”, “Another concern”, “The list of health problems caused by

overusing electronic devices does not stop here”,...
 Repeated words: “electronic devices”, “health problems", “guidance”, “parents"

Praise: Diverse transition words and well-organized structure

Critique: Line breaks are sometimes not reasonable.