Introduction

The family life cycle goes through stages that is important to the development and growth in the

cycle. The family cycle experiences independence, intimacy, marriage, parenting, the empty nest

syndrome and the retirement stage. The family life cycle in some families is not always easy or

runs smoothly; however, in each stage there will be challenges. These challenges allow the family

to develop new skills and gain deeper perspectives that will help them to work through all the

changes the family will go through. The family cycle will go through a stage of independence,

which is considered the stage that is most critical. At this stage the family members will show signs

of being able to support themselves financially, emotionally,

The marriage stage in the family life cycles see one joining to another family to form a new family

system. Then there is the adjustment stage within the marriage that speaks to some common areas

of combining finances, their lifestyles, hobbies, sexual compatibility, and relationship with the in-

laws. In the marriage stage the ultimate goal is to achieve interdependence that happens when you

are fully able to enter the relationship with another person. The skill you learn from the marriage

serves as a foundation to begin building other relationships such as parent – child. (www.google)

The parenting stage is the most challenging phase of the family life cycle. This stage is one that

will affect your individual development, the identity of your family and your relationship. As new

parents your individual identities changes with m how you relate to each other and the extended

families. Another development in this parenting stage is the educational system from pre-school to

The retirement stage in the family life cycle experiences a lot of changes. At this stage the family

begins to grown as a result of their children getting married and having families of their own. You
are still exploring and cruising the seas and having adventures as a retired couple. Some couple

experience illness, financial setbacks, and even death. The chances of having illness, chronic or

mental increases with age. However, normal aging will bring about its changes of wrinkles, grey

hair, and aches and pains, and maybe loss of bone density and a few grandchildren. The best way

to deal with this stage is to continue to explore new family and social roles, keep in touch with you

own interest and physical activities – swimming, dancing, tennis, and walking. Retired family

members that do not have the loving support of their family or are not financially stable, will find

this stage a most difficult

What is a family life cycle?

The emotional and intellectual stages you pass through from childhood to your retirement years

as a member of a family are called the family life cycle. In each stage, you face challenges in

your family life that allow you to build or gain new skills. Gaining these skills helps you work

through the changes that nearly every family goes through.

Not everyone passes through these stages smoothly. Situations such as severe illness, financial

problems, or the death of a loved one can have an effect on how well you pass through the

stages. Fortunately, if you miss skills in one stage, you can learn them in later stages.

The stages of the family life cycle are:

 Independence.

 Coupling or marriage.

 Parenting: babies through adolescents.

  Launching adult children.

 Retirement or senior years.

Why is it important to understand the family life cycle?

Mastering the skills and milestones of each stage allows you to successfully move from one

stage of development to the next. If you don't master the skills, you may still move on to the next

phase of the cycle, but you are more likely to have difficulty with relationships and future

transitions. Family life cycle theory suggests that successful transitioning may also help to

prevent disease and emotional or stress-related disorders.

Whether you are a parent or child, brother or sister, bonded by blood or love, your experiences

through the family life cycle will affect who you are and who you become. The more you

understand about the challenges of each stage of the cycle, the more likely you are to

successfully move on.

Three Major Stages of the Life Cycle:

Stage I: The beginning family:

The first sub stage of the family life cycle is the period of establishment. It begins with marriage

and continues until the first child is born. It is also called “getting acquainted” stage, when two

partners try to know each other’s psychology and behavioural prospects. Both the partners

should learn to manage the resources of time, energy and income properly to achieve their long

term goal in their married life.

Stage II: The expanding family:

The expanding family stage covers a longer period than the beginning family stage and includes

a number of sub stages. It begins with the birth of the first child and ends when the last child

leaves home. The first sub stage is known as child bearing and per school and is also marked by

the accumulation of goods.

This in turn brings about the development of attitudes that influence future family living. During

this period parents take necessary steps to make adjustments with their relations and new child as

well. The parents have to shoulder different responsibilities to keep pace with rapid change of the

situation.

Stage III. The contracting family Stage:

This stage begins when the first child leaves home as a young adult and ends when the last child

leaves home for a life of his or her own. It is marked by the departure of young adult for service

or marriage. It is a period of adjustment for parents and children. The parent’s financial

assistance may be needed for the establishment of children.

Challenges of couples

1. Communication Issues

The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication.  Many couples

put up with problems rather than try to fix them.  In the beginning they agreed he would earn

money and she would take care of the house and kids. When they face new challenges later on,

they have to negotiate a new compact.  The issue is whether spouses can listen to each other’s

complaints without interrupting or getting defensive and reach anew consensus.

2. Ignoring Boundaries

It’s not uncommon for one spouse to try to change his or her partner.  Whether it’s how he or she

dresses or about fundamental beliefs, trying to change your spouse will feel like a personal

invasion and may trigger defensiveness oranger.  Overstepping boundaries can destroy mutual

trust.  The result is likely to be retaliation or withdrawal from the relationship.

3. Lack of Sexual Intimacy

There are lots of reasons couples lose interest in sex–ranging from medical problems to

emotional issues.  Generally, sexual problems trigger a vicious cycle where it’s difficult to want

sex when you feel emotionally distant from your partner and it’s difficult to feel emotionally

attached without experiencing sexual intimacy. To get past sexual indifference, couples need to

discuss and resolve their emotional issues.

4. Emotional or Sexual Infidelity

A common problem in many marriages is for the couple to become emotionally distant.  When

this happens, it’s likely he or she may start looking around.  Emotional infidelity can lead to

adultery and cheating is destructive of a marriage.  It’s important for every couples to discuss

and agree on what constitutes infidelity.

5. Fighting About Money

Disagreements about money are inevitable in a marriage.  One spouse may want to save while

the other wants to spend.  Disagreement about money usually reflect different core values.  To

avoid these problems, it’s important to discuss and agree how to handle finances.

6. Selfishness

If one spouse constantly places his or her needs above the goals and interests of the marriage, it’s

only a matter of time before the neglected spouse begins to feel rejected and unloved.  Getting

married involves give and take rather than getting your own needs met all the time.  If one

spouse dictates the terms of the marriage and won’t compromise, that’s a recipe for disaster.

7. Value Differences

When a couple has core value differences, such as religious preferences, that can cause serious

problems.  They may have major disagreements about what religion to teach their children. 

Other differences include how to discipline, definitions of right and wrong, or other ethical

conflicts.  Everyone doesn’t grow up with the same values, morals, or goals and there is lots of

room for debate about right and wrong.  If a couple can’t learn to adjust to different values, they

may have serious problems in their marriage.

8. Different Life Stages

Most couples don’t think about differences in life stages when they marry, but this can be a

significant problem with couples are different ages.  Personalities change and a couple may not

remain compatible as they transition to different life stages.  An older husband may not be
interested in beginning a new family while the young bride is anxious to have a baby, or he may

be nearing retirement and want to slow down while she needs to stay active.

9. Boredom

Doing the same old thing can get tiresome and it’s hard to make changes in a comfortable

relationship until it’s too late.  Doing something new from time to time can add spark and spice

to a relationship.

10. Jealousy

Being jealous can turn a marriage sour, especially if the jealous feelings are unrealistic.  Jealous

persons can become overbearing and controlling or angry and rejecting.  If you are feeling

jealous, see a counselor to decide wither your feelings are reasonable.  You may have an

attachment problem that needs to be discussed with a competent counselor.

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