Why Do We Give Each Other Gifts at Christmas?

Every Christmas families gather together to enjoy a meal together, to catch up, share memories and
give each other gifts. Where does this tradition of giving gifts come from?

Gifts and Christ

I remember fondly how every member of our family, including cousins, aunts, uncles, and a host of
distant relatives we rarely saw otherwise, would always gather together at my grandmother's house
every Christmas. The atmosphere was always exciting and cozy. Groups of adults gathered in the
kitchen to drink coffee and eat the huge variety of cakes and other pastries. Others gathered in the
family room to chat in front of the fireplace, while we children usually ran around outside having
snowball fights and building snow forts. When it grew dark everyone gathered together in the family
room, crowding each other on the couch, floor, and various chairs brought in from the kitchen or
elsewhere. My great aunt would take her customary place in front of the Christmas tree and
meticulously read out each name and who the gift was from. It was almost like a Hallmark movie, with
the soft glow of Christmas lights indelibly imprinted on my memory. Most of us share similar
memories. Some of the gifts we received as children were exciting to us; that new toy truck, the latest
video game, etc. Others we politely said thank you and set to the side. These were usually the socks and
underwear you received. Decidedly less exciting gifts they were. No matter the gift though, there was
something very important in the ritual of gift giving itself that simply continues to bring a smile to us,
no matter our age. The question of why we give each other gifts at Christmas is an important one, since
I believe it elucidates the core of why Christmas is important to begin with. Shortly after Jesus Christ
was born in that humble cave in Bethlehem, a group of extraordinary men came to visit Him. Mary and
Joseph must have been astonished at their arrival, as these men were considered to be very wise in their
native countries. They were dressed in a fashion befitting their station in life, since kings and other
rulers sought their advice on the most important matters of State. And yet, here they are standing in this
humble hole in the earth, looking for a king who they knew was to be born having seen His star in the
east. These wise men did not come empty handed, mind you. They understood the customary tribute
paid to all kings must be paid even to newborn kings. And so they came with gifts in tow for this infant
king. Matthew 2:11 tells us they knelt down before this baby and worshiped Him. Then they presented
Him with their gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh. Now, I am not saying that this is the core reason
for gift giving on Christmas. I am certain there are a host of other, more culturally oriented influences
that inform our gift giving. Yet, I f we are serious about our Christian faith, the Nativity of Our Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ is the guiding reason for the entire holiday, including our gift giving. Or at least
it should be. Our motivation for giving gifts should be to do so in honor of the birth of our Savior, who
gave us the most precious gift of all-salvation. (Ephesians 2:8-9) One of the problems with Christmas
today is that it has strayed from the sense of the sacred and for most has become a secular holiday,
filled with all the stress and materialism one would expect when the Lord is removed from the center.
Instead of receiving gifts in a spirit of humility and thankfulness, our children have learned to demand
the most expensive toys, the latest in video game technology, etc. And if they do not receive it, then
other children mercilessly mock them. Adults are not much better themselves, often expecting
expensive gifts and barely concealing their disappointment when they do not get what they wanted. For
these people, Christmas is a dark time, a financial drain, and is dreaded rather than looked forward to.

Christmas Spirit
We should give gifts not because we want to one-up others, or show off the fancy and expensive items
we give ad receive. We give gifts to express our love and appreciation of others. Love seeks the highest
good of the beloved. Most of the time the highest good is not met with expensive gifts, but with simple
things of every day use or value. Those socks and underwear our parents bought us, while they could
never excite us as much as the latest video game system, were the deeper expression of their love for
us, manifest as provision. To help your family maintain the proper perspective on Christmas it is
helpful to have a weekly family study time on the topics of love, charity, thankfulness and grace
throughout the Advent season. It need not be a long, drawn out Bible study, but a simple ten minute
discussion connecting each of these characteristics to the birth of our Lord. It might help to use an
Advent calendar as well. One with all the chocolate everyone loves so much. Just be certain to have
enough extras for everyone. Another thing you might consider is setting up a manger scene in your
home, and praying together each evening, thanking your Heavenly Father for the birth of Christ, as
well as all the blessings you have received throughout the year. Do not just give a general thanks, but
be specific. Thank Him for the new tires on the car, the raise you got at work, your good grades in
school, and other things that you might take for granted the rest of the year. (Ephesians 5:20; Psalm
100:4) And most of all, thank Him for the gift of salvation given to you even though you did nothing to
deserve it. Get involved with your church's Christmas programs. Volunteer to help out in whatever way
needed, and do so as a family. Trust me, pastors are always more than happy to see more people
involved, so never think to yourself, 'Nah, they have enough people helping out. They don't need me.
I'd just be in the way.' There is always some way you can help, even if it is something as humble as
cleaning up after choir practice. Remember, your time and energy are gifts you give freely to Christ
through His church, so it is one way you give back to the Lord. Finally, be sure to attend church
throughout the Advent season, since the readings from Sacred Scripture and the sermons will all help to
focus your heart and mind on the true spirit of the season. Take in the beauty of Christmas as if it were
the first time in your life that you had ever experienced the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.
Rekindle the wonder and awe of the beautifully decorated trees, the carols, and the hymns, and take
time to remind yourself of what is most important in life. Sure, enjoy the eggnog, the cinnamon
pastries, and the gifts, but do not lose sight of the greatest gift of all-your Savior who humbled Himself
to become a little child in a cave in an insignificant place called Bethlehem.

J. Davila-Ashcraft is an Anglican priest, Theologian, and Apologist, and holds a B.A. in Biblical
Studies and Theology from God’s Bible College in Cincinnati, Ohio. He is a recognized authority on
the topic of exorcism, and in that capacity has contributed to and/or appeared on programming for The
National Geographic Channel, Discovery Channel, and CNN. He is the host of Expedition Truth, a
one-hour apologetics radio talk show.