JULY 2021
PERFECTIONISTIC OVERCOMPENSATOR
Maladaptive Coping
Modes
Coping Modes which helped us
survive childhood become
Maladaptive Coping Modes in
adulthood.
As children, we don't have many
ways to respond to difficult or
dangerous situations. A child's
coping strategies are simply fight,
flight or freeze. We use to them to
reduce distress in ourselves or
others, by pleasing others, staying
quiet or detaching from what is
happening.
However, as we get older and we
are no longer in the same
environment, our old coping
strategies don't fit anymore and
start to cause us problems. Our
once helpful childhood survival
strategies become maladaptive
coping strategies in adulthood.
Schema Mode Therapy helps you
to identify which coping modes
you may be using which helps you
see the problems they are
causing. Once you can identify
your Maladaptive Coping Modes,
you can then choose whether to
stick with that childhood coping
mode or enact a different choice.
Sometimes it is appropriate to use
fight/flight or freeze, but perhaps
not as often as you have been.
Instead, we offer a fourth option:
HEALTHY ADULT.
Therefore, the Maladaptive Coping
Modes (MCM) need to get benched.
They can sit on the sidelines and
wait to be called in, rather than
feeling like they are running the
show.
Perfectionistic Overcompensator
The Perfectionistic Overcompensator Mode often leads to burnout.
The Perfectionistic Overcompensator mode is a FIGHT mode. The aim of this
mode is to control everything to prevent something bad from happening. This
mode acts to protect the Vulnerable Child from experiencing shame from a
sense of failure, so it takes on the attitude of "If I do everything perfectly then
no one will see my weaknesses or judge me as incompetent".
It is often activated by a fear of criticism, either from self (Punitive or
Demanding Parent modes) or others and is linked with the schemas of failure,
defectiveness and unrelenting standards. There is a nervous energy to it, one
can't sit still until everything is done right. It looks like over-planning, writing
lists, and staying up late to get stuff done.
Unfortunately, this excessive worry over performance can interfere with task
completion, with a belief of "If I can't get it perfect, then I won't even bother
trying". This can lead to procrastination and further shame. Standards are set
too high, resulting in the failure to reach the unreachable. Perfectionism is
tough, but add this cycle of self-criticism and the result is often burnout.
The Role of the Healthy Adult Mode
Healthy Adult Mode counters difficulties caused by Perfectionistic
Overcompensator Mode
The MCMs are activated by fear of perceived vulnerability, thus the Healthy
Adult Mode (HAM) aims to meet the needs of the Vulnerable Child in a more
adaptive coping way. The Vulnerable Child needs validation and reassurance
from the HAM that the MCM is not necessary.
For the Perfectionistic Overcompensator, the HAM needs to set realistic goals,
moderate standards and reward effort instead of outcome. There needs to be
a balance of appropriate drive to get stuff done (which also involves
negotiating with the Demanding Parent) and taking breaks and allowing time
for the Happy Child Mode.
As you develop your HAM, you'll need help from others, perhaps to point out
when you are taking over, controlling others or getting obsessive over minor
details. It also helps when other people validate your effort rather than just
focusing on results.
Thoughts Behaviours Schemas
"I have to do it right" Over-planning Failure
"I can't delegate" Writing lists Defectiveness
"It must be perfect" Procrastinating Unrelenting Standards
"It's not good enough" Self-critical Approval Seeking
 THEPSYCHCOLLECTIVE.COM PERFECTIONISTIC OVERCOMPENSATOR
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Turning down your Perfectionistic Overcompensator Mode
Mode Awareness
To learn how to skilfully manage your MCM, you must first become aware of when you have flipped in to that
mode. The aim is to have more control over your ability to dial this mode down when it isn't needed. This may be
challenging if you get reinforcement from others for your high standards and it feeds into your need for
approval.

What are some common triggers for this mode? (People, comments, situations, feelings)
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What do you feel when you’re in this mode? (Stressed, anxious, nervous energy)
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What difficulties do you experience when you’re in this mode? (Burnout, procrastination, shame, self-sabotage)
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Mode Management
Develop a plan about how you will use your Healthy Adult to reduce your Perfectionism Overcompensation. 
What are your goals for managing this mode? (To accept the idea of "good enough")
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What are your needs in this mode? (To set boundaries, to get reassurance that my worth is more than my
grades)
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What will you do to meet these needs for yourself? (Self-validate, take breaks, practise opposite action)
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What will you say to yourself when you’re in this mode to soothe it? (I don't need to be perfect to be worthy)
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You may find this hard because it is unfamiliar, or you may notice other modes getting in the way, like your
Demanding Parent Mode or a different MCM jumping in. Keep trying and remember that you are learning new
strategies for meeting your own needs that have previously been neglected.

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