THE CIRCUS ALTERNATE

An Original TV Pilot

By Blaise Hesselgren

EPISODE ONE:
"Rules are for the fools who follow them"

Mr Blaise Hesselgren
www.Hesselgren.co.uk
Blaise.Hesselgre@gmail.com
Tel: 07779 778642
EXT. CIRCUS ENTRANCE - NIGHT

A baroque banner arcs over the entrance of a field. It reads:

"THE CIRCUS ALTERNATE - THE GREATEST STORY ON EARTH."

We SWOOP under it, SKIMMING the heads of the crowd as they

stream into the Circus.

On a platform just beyond the gate sits the AUTOMATA - a

MECHANICAL ROBOT, writing at a desk, looming over the entrance
like an omniscient god.

The crowd spills around it but as each person passes they

glance up at it; and we see its image FLASH in their eye.

Except a HOODED MAN, who keeps his eyes down as he passes

the Automata. This is MARK LITTLE, late thirties, military
bearing, tortured face. Once past the Automata he looks up -

To see a place of dreams and fairy-tale fantasies. Victorian

street lamps light the burlesque girls, tumblers, psychics
and other weird acts that line the avenue to the BIG TOP.

Fun, excitement, a little danger. A different world - one

that seems bigger than it actually is.

But Mark's seen it all before. He cuts through the crowd,

past a girl - a classic hippie chick down to her braids and
flouncy skirt - laying Tarot cards on a table. Above her a
sign says -

"ALASTRINA: PRIESTESS OF THE PATH."

As Mark watches ALASTRINA turns over -

THE DEATH CARD

STARTLED, she scans the crowd, but Mark's already gone.

PAA - BAAA -

A horn sounds. Everyone looks - except Mark, who ducks into

an alley, slipping out a COSH from his pocket.

The crowd looks at the Big Top, stunned into silence by -

QUEEN TITANIA, tall, elegant, imperious. A goddess. Dressed

in silk, she STANDS on a trapeze in the Big Top's entrance.

You might assume from her radiant sexuality that she's in

her prime - but look long into those eyes and you'll sense
that that prime has lasted for hundreds of years.
 2.

QUEEN TITANIA
Lords, Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you for gracing our Circus with your
presence. Please join us in the Big
Top to experience a magical story -
the Great Lay of Titania and Oberon.

She recedes into the tent's darkness - and the crowd follow.

EXT. CIRCUS ALLEY - CONTINUOUS

Mark reaches the end of the alley and peers around a corner
at a circle of caravans.

INT. BIG TOP CANOPY, CATWALK - CONTINUOUS

Queen Titania VAULTS up from the trapeze, landing with

preternatural grace on a dark catwalk above the entrance.

ENA, a mid 20's gypsy girl, flaming red hair, all instinct
and impulse but with the chutzpah to match it, watches the
crowd sit at the tables stepping down to the circus ring.

QUEEN TITANIA
Ena? What are you doing?

ENA
Keeping an eye. There's whispers -

QUEEN TITANIA
He would not dare.

Queen Titania stalks along the catwalk, Ena following.

Below them, upright poles create a fantastical forest that

sprout an aerial web of ropes, swings and trapezes.

This forest stops at a mock river that bisects the ring.

Beyond the river, a hill leads up to a stage on which a ring

of STANDING STONES surround a half submerged giant CAULDRON.

On the stage a performer (player) is dressed as a MASKED

CELTIC WARRIOR, KING OBERON.

As they reach the central platform above the ring, Queen

Titania ties something around the post.

QUEEN TITANIA (CONT'D)

No word on Mr Mark Little?

ENA
Still missing. I fear the worst.
 3.

QUEEN TITANIA
Do not. His story is not yet done.

Ena looks up at Titania, hope in her face - really?

Titania smiles, leans toward Ena and drops a butterfly kiss

on her lips. Ena's eyes close in bliss.

And Titania FALLS BACKWARDS into space; her dress, fixed to

the post, becomes an aerial silk that UNWINDS from her body,
SPINNING her as she descends to the ring.

Spotlights SPARK on and focus on her. The audience GASP as

Titania LANDS, near naked, in the centre of the Circus ring.

INT. CIRCUS CARAVAN - CONTINUOUS

Mark sneaks in and stands behind the door, cosh in hand. He

scratches his cheek, then closes his eyes to wait -

INT. BIG TOP CANOPY, CATWALK - LATER

Ena sits, yawning, at her original post above the entrance.

Below her, King Oberon and the players leave the ring.

RINGMASTER
Ladies and Gentlemen, the final -

INT. STEVE'S CIRCUS CARAVAN - CONTINUOUS

RINGMASTER (O.S.)
- act will commence in ten minutes.

Mark rouses himself. Flexes his fingers around the cosh.

There's a clatter outside - the door opens; STEVE, late

twenties, muscular, good looking, enters, holding a mask.

He is dressed as KING OBERON from the CIRCUS ACT.

As Steve walks into the room, Mark LUNGES forward and -

CRACK - COSHES Steve from behind. Steve crumples.

MARK
Sorry, Steve. Had no choice.

Mark picks up Steve's mask, then starts undoing his top.

INT. BIG TOP TENT - LATER

Ena is still watching from her spot on the catwalk.

 4.

The lights dim and the audience fall quiet as King Oberon
strides in, holding a wicked looking knife. He pauses, staring
at Queen Titania on the far stage.

Then he stalks purposefully past the audience into the ring.

Ena frowns. She rises and shadows Oberon from above.

As he enters the ring a WOLFMAN (a circus player in costume)

LEAPS at Oberon, knocking him over and DISLODGING HIS MASK.

Flat on his back, OBERON/MARK - face exposed - stares straight

up at Ena who is concealed in the dark canopy.

ENA
Mark?!?

THE MAN PLAYING OBERON IS MARK, NOT STEVE AS IT SHOULD BE!

Mark rolls to his feet, LUNGING forward, STABBING the Wolfman

in the leg before replacing the Oberon mask. He stands and -
The audience cheer as Mark/Oberon RACES to a ladder.

ENA (CONT'D)
What are you doing?

Ena grabs a rope and SWINGS down into the pole trees,
alighting next to three WILDMEN (more circus players in
costume), who are watching Oberon in confusion -

ENA
Stop Oberon! Protect the Queen!

Understanding flashes across their faces and they scatter to

head off Oberon as Ena DASHES off, SPRINTING along a bridge
towards the stage and Queen Titania.

Behind her Oberon CHARGES a Wildman blocking a tightrope -

And as Ena grabs a trapeze and swings to the stage, the

wildman falls from the tightrope -

The audience ROARS in approval -

Ena drops from the trapeze onto a platform and DIVES into
the river to swim across to the stage.

Behind her Oberon fights past the last wildman -

And Ena climbs out of the water and scrambles up the hill.

Hot in pursuit, Oberon DIVES into the river just behind her.
 5.

Ena reaches the stage. Stops in front of Queen Titania and

CERNUNNOS, the horned god, played by CATHAL. He is dressed
in greenery, bare chested, ANTLERS sprouting from his head.

ENA (CONT'D)
Oberon - is Mark. He's turned -

Oberon BURSTS from the water and CHARGES up the hill -

ENA (CONT'D)
Wrong.

QUEEN TITANIA
Cathal.

Cathal/Cernunnos steps forward, drawing his broadsword -

- but Oberon DODGES to the side, SPRINGING up onto a standing

stone, scaling it before Cathal can reach him.

Cathal retreats, staying between the Queen and Oberon.

Ena glances at the audience, who are transfixed.

Oberon stands atop the stone and stares down at the three
players on the stage, knife in hand. Points at the Queen and -

LEAPS at her, over Cathal and Ena, knife outstretched -

Until his body JERKS, and his HEAD FLIES OFF HIS BODY -

DECAPITATED by an invisible wire -

His body CRASHES to the ground, SPURTING BLOOD -

- his head BOUNCING into the cauldron with a hollow THUMP.

As the screams start, Cathal steps forward and covers the

HEADLESS CORPSE with his CLOAK -

MATCH CUT TO:

EXT. RUINED ABBEY - DAY

A cloth covers something - a sign?

A hand WHIPS it off to reveal:

INSERT:

"WARNING: 25% SLOPE. SLIPPERY. NO FOUR

WHEEL MOWERS ON THIS SLOPE."

The sign is - predictably - on a grassy slope, part of a

curved embankment of the ruin.
 6.

It is neat and green and managed.

ROWAN GREY, early thirties, stands opposite the sign on a

concrete pathway, folding the cloth tidily.

He is neat and grey and managed.

He sports a hard hat, safety glasses and an air of perpetual

worry that adds 10 years - and on a good day a modicum of
gravitas.

With the cloth folded, he ticks a box on his clipboard.

DONALD, the Amphitheater manager, wanders over the neatly

cropped grass to join Rowan.

DONALD
Like I said, the hard hat and goggles
aren't really necessary.

ROWAN
Until they are. I'm glad to see the
sign encompasses a wide visual
catchment zone.

DONALD
Yeah, it's unmissable.

Rowan looks at the manager - was that a hint of sarcasm?

ROWAN
Well, I just need you to sign off -

DONALD
Come and grab some tea.

Donald returns via the grass. Rowan sticks to the path.

INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

A small, cramped office overlooking the abbey. Donald ushers

Rowan in - still wearing his hard hat and goggles.

DONALD
Grab a seat.

As Donald CLICKS on the the kettle Rowan sees that it has a

frayed cord. Donald turns to to wash a cup and -

The kettle PHUTZES, SPARKS LEAPING from the wire onto an

adjacent pile of paper which BURSTS into FLAMES -

Donald spins and instinctively throws water from the cup he

was washing over the fire -
 7.

WHOOMP!

The fire EXPLODES over the whole room, blowing Rowan and
Donald back. It ROARS up the door, trapping them as we -

CUT BACK TO:

Rowan spotting the kettle's frayed cord.

Instantly he LUNGES forwards, knocking Donald out of the way

and PULLING the kettle plug from the wall -

GARY
Hey? What you doing?

- the fire was Rowan's CATASTROPHISING. In every new

environment he imagines potential dangers.

Rowan shows Gary the frayed cord.

ROWAN
Sparks.

Rowan waves at the papers stacked next to the kettle -

ROWAN
Fuel.

Rowan nods at the old and dusty fire alarms above -

ROWAN
And I'm guessing you haven't checked
the batteries for a while?

GARY
I -

ROWAN
Get a new kettle, change the batteries
and tidy this place up.

Rowan turns to leave -

ROWAN (CONT'D)
You can post me the papers.

EXT. LOCAL COUNCIL OFFICE - DAY

Rowan drives into a car park. A sign reads:

"GLASTONBURY TOWN COUNCIL"

He parks, gets out and checks he parked between the lines.

He didn't.
 8.

He gets back into the car and reparks, checking he's between
the lines, before locking the car and going into the office.

INT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

Rowan opens the door into the small messy office - half a
dozen desks in a room that wasn't designed for them. Dirty
plates and mugs hide amongst papers and old computers.

Above the disused fireplace a sign reads:

INSET:
"MURPHY IS GOD."

The clock says 10AM. Rowan sits at his desk and -

BANG!

GAVIN HARDACRE, mid fifties, BARGES in. A seasoned bureaucrat,

he can spout enough hot air to raise a Zeppelin.
HARDACRE
Last night? Are you sure?

He's followed by PHELAN, a lanky man of indeterminate age

with a wolfish but respectable face.

PHELAN
Police were all over the place.

Hardacre spots Rowan.

HARDACRE
You. My office. Two minutes.

A phone starts ringing on one of the desks -

HARDACRE
Get that!
(to Phelan)
Mr. Phelan, thank you for bringing
this to my attention. Grey here will
see to you momentarily.

Hardacre goes into his office as Rowan answers the phone -

ROWAN
Health and Safety, Rowan Grey.

Phelan stands where he is, watching Rowan.

ROWAN (CONT'D)
Um, ok, hang on a second -
 9.

Rowan grabs a post-it note, looks for a pen - when a hand -

Phelan's - appears, offering an ORNATE METAL PEN.

Rowan looks up, smiles a thanks, and takes the pen.

ROWAN
Last night you say? At what time?

The pen SHIMMERS as he writes with it. Rowan doesn't notice,

but Phelan was watching for it.

PHELAN
(to himself, quietly)
Bonded. Yes, you'll do nicely.

Rowan looks up. Phelan's VANISHED - the door's closed. How?

But Rowan's distracted by his phone conversation -

ROWAN
Yes. And the report summary?
INT. HARDACRE'S OFFICE - TWO MINUTES LATER

Hardacre is on the phone while clicking at his computer -

HARDACRE
- should have been told last night!

Hardacre SLAMS the phone down as Rowan enters.

ROWAN
There's been a death at the Circus -

HARDACRE
I heard. Where's the weirdo?

ROWAN
He left while I was speaking to the
police administrator. She spotted
the report and wanted to check we
were across it.

HARDACRE
At least one of them can do their
bloody job. First I knew about it
was the crazy in the waiting area.

ROWAN
The case is marked as closed, sir.
Zoe was filing it away when she saw
there was no Heath and Safety report.
So she called us.
 10.

HARDACRE
OK. Where's everyone else?

ROWAN
The NHS case sir.

HARDACRE
I've got a hearing. Leaving you.

ROWAN
Me, sir? I've got paperwork due -

HARDACRE
And that's more important than an
accidental circus decapitation?

ROWAN
No, but I'm still on probation -
shouldn't this be led by a more
experienced investigator?
HARDACRE
Yes. Got one in your back pocket?
Look, we've got to get on top of
this fast. You make initial inquiries
only. If the accident was
unforeseeable and is unrepeatable we
write it up. But if anything troubles
you - anything at all - call me and
we'll launch a full investigation.

ROWAN
Sir, I'm not sure I can -

HARDACRE
You can. You've trained for this.
(points to the sign)
Murphy is God. "What can go wrong,
will go wrong." That's our motto.
That is why we have a job. That is
Murphy's immutable law: Shit happens.
We are here to prevent that shit.
When you walk into that circus, you
are not Rowan Grey, you are the
representative of Her Majesty's Health
and Safety Inspectorate, the walking
talking embodiment of the rules,
regulations, laws and procedures
created solely to protect those
people. You speak with the voice of
that authority and you will not be
denied. They may see you as their
enemy but you come as their friend!