1

00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,420

I am
on a lecture circuit.

2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,255
I'm going around
to all the branches,

3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,258
and I am telling them my
secret recipe for success.

4
00:00:09,385 --> 00:00:12,095
I have now memorized
all of your names.

5
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:17,558
Shirty, mole, lazy
eye, Mexico, baldy.

6
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,644
Hi, Kelly.
Screw you.

7
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:20,770
Excuse me.

8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,063
Screw you, too.

9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,648
You forgot her birthday.

10
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,191
...and I turn
it on and I say,

11
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,528
"Prepare yourself for the
Utica Chain Store Massacre."

12
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,571
How's Jim?
We're engaged.

13
00:00:30,656 --> 00:00:31,864
Oh, my God.
I'm so happy for you.

14
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,408
Wow. Thank you.

15
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:39,414
"Kelly Kapoor spent April 1995 to December
1996 at Berks County Youth Center."

16
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,541
Juvie.

17
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,626
You remember Holly?

18
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,795
She used to work for HR.

19
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,296
She was the love of my life.

20
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,383
She just left and
I never got closure.

21
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,970
And I feel like I need to go
to Nashua and get closure.

22
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,806
Okay. Let's go.

23
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,665
Two.

24
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,000
I didn't eat lunch.

25
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,086
I didn't eat
all my lunch.

26
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,840
Hello, everyone.
27
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:35,595
Ice cream. Nice, Kevin.
Looks good.

28
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,347
It... Yeah.

29
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,517
Angela, you're more
chipper than usual.

30
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:46,022
I am proud to announce that there is
a new addition to the Martin family.

31
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:50,985
She's hypo-allergenic, she doesn't
struggle when you try to dress her,

32
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,820
she's a third-generation
show cat.

33
00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,114
Her father was in
Meet the Parents.

34
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:57,492
Needless to say, she's
very, very expensive.

35
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,118
How much?
$7,000.

36
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,954
For a cat? I can get
you a kid for that.

37
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,539
Where did you get
that kind of money?

38
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,958
I sold Andy's engagement
ring on eBay.
39
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,960
Wait, you didn't
give it back?

40
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,087
He wouldn't
have wanted that.

41
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,298
Her name is Princess Lady.

42
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,843
Seven grand. I've got to
see that little bitch.

43
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,095
I have something better than a picture.
Come on.

44
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,723
You have your
cats on Nanny Cam.

45
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:24,018
Yeah. I mean, I usually try to
take leave when I get a new cat,

46
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,686
but I'm out of
vacation days,

47
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,356
and this company still doesn't
recognize cat maternity.

48
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,691
I mean, somebody has a kid,
oh, sure, take off a year.

49
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,985
She's right. I had my second
kid just for the vacation.

50
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,404
Right. Anyways,
I just want to make sure
51
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,615
Princess Lady is
acclimating well.

52
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,700
She means more
to me than anyone.

53
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,494
Any cat, you mean.

54
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,412
And person.

55
00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:52,380
So, detour. We're now adding
Nashua to the lecture circuit,

56
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:55,758
so Michael can confront Holly
and get some closure.

57
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,094
Nashua actually sounded
very excited on the phone.

58
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,972
I don't think they get
a lot of visitors.

59
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:04,141
Because their office is only
accessible by cross-country skis.

60
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,272
I've been driving too long.

61
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,025
- What did you do?
- Stop yelling at me!

62
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,194
What did you do?
I didn't do anything.

63
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,487
What did you
learn in there?

64
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,573
I'll bet you
learned things, huh?

65
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,575
Like how to
fashion a shiv.

66
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,285
Hey, what the
hell's going on?

67
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,454
Why don't you tell Jim where
you were from ages 14 to 15?

68
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,914
I was kicking it.

69
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,374
In juvie.

70
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:32,295
What?
Juvie-nile detention center.

71
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,046
Where they send teenagers.
Yep.

72
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,131
For re...
Got it.

73
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,465
What did you do, huh?

74
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,217
Hey, Dwight,
sounds like she was 14,

75
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,468
so maybe we want
to go a little easy.
76
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,761
If she's old enough
to get married,

77
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,680
she's old enough
to follow the law.

78
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,348
What did you do?

79
00:03:45,017 --> 00:03:47,977
My boyfriend dumped me,
so I stole his boat.

80
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,938
He told me it was his boat.
It was actually his father's.

81
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,149
I just thought it'd
be really romantic,

82
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,568
like Thelma & Louise,
but with, like, a boat.

83
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,070
And it was the worst
year of my life.

84
00:03:58,155 --> 00:03:59,739
And I can't believe
that you guys are

85
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,908
making me talk about
this on my birthday.

86
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,743
I thought you said
yesterday was your birthday.

87
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,454
Hey, you know what?
I got you a cake.
88
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,374
You did?
I want to see the cake.

89
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,086
And, ta-dah.

90
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,006
I hate it.

91
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,341
How do you hate it?
It's a cake.

92
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,302
Well, there's no
flowers or toys or...

93
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,095
I mean,
there's nothing on it.

94
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,264
Where did you even
find a cake like this?

95
00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,682
It doesn't even
have my name on it.

96
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,017
Do you guys know
what my name is?

97
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,977
My name is Kelly.
Right.

98
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,522
I forgot if there was an "E"
between the "L" and the "Y."

99
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:34,815
I still don't know.

100
00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:37,568
I don't even know what the theme is!
What's the theme?

101
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,989
It's birthday.
Frosting.

102
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,866
Those aren't themes.

103
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,745
There's always a theme.

104
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,873
There's always a theme.

105
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,793
Nice job on
the cake, bozo.

106
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,003
Okay, you know what? Next time,
I'll let you get the cake

107
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,130
and I get to scream
at the birthday girl.

108
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,386
Okay, a little bit
more closer to the sign.

109
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,680
Yeah.

110
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,436
Do I look okay?
You look good.

111
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,399
Hi.
Hi, can I help you?

112
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,443
Yes, you can.
I am Michael Scott,
113
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,987
Regional Manager of
the Scranton Branch.

114
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,989
Yes, we were expecting you.
Have a seat.

115
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,573
Thank you.

116
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,325
Um...

117
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:29,245
Is Holly Flax
anywhere here?

118
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:33,249
Actually, she's on an HR retreat
for the next three days.

119
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,751
She's not here?

120
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,504
But if you need to get in
touch with her immediately,

121
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,715
you could talk to A.J.
He's a salesman here.

122
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,966
A.J.

123
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,593
Yeah, he's her boyfriend.
He's just over there.

124
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,656
She has a boyfriend.

125
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,783
I'm so sorry, Michael.
126
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,625
How could she do
this to me, Pam?

127
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,465
She's not doing
it to hurt you.

128
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,510
I can't do the
presentation, I can't.

129
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:32,141
Just thinking
about seeing him,

130
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:37,563
and thinking about him
getting to hold her

131
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:41,942
and getting to kiss
her is just... Oh, God.

132
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:44,195
Listen, when Jim
was dating Karen,

133
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,905
I didn't want
to come to work.

134
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,865
It was awful,
I hated it.

135
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,619
I wanted to quit, but...
Just, please, come on.

136
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,662
I'm going through
something, okay?

137
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,251
You know,
when Holly gets back,

138
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,171
everyone will tell her
what a great job you did.

139
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,507
And then she'll realize
what she's missing.

140
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:07,968
And then she'll move back to Scranton,
and her boyfriend will die.

141
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:11,180
Yeah, maybe. Maybe.

142
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,516
One step at a time.

143
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,269
You can do this.

144
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,815
I can do this.

145
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,693
It could be snacks or...

146
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,403
But why would we...

147
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,699
Is that what
I think it is?

148
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,993
Good God!

149
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,998
That one ugly cat is
humping Princess Lady.

150
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,625
- No!
- Awesome.
151
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,670
Stop it, Mr. Ash!
Bad cat, that is very bad.

152
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,631
You stop it right now.
I swear he is fixed.

153
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,758
I know fixed, that ain't fixed.
No way.

154
00:07:47,843 --> 00:07:49,385
No, now listen,
you can't let what you see

155
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,970
here sully your
image of them.

156
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:53,305
They are good,
decent cats.

157
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,182
I got to go.
I'll be back in an hour.

158
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,101
Oh, stop that!

159
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,687
The other one's watching.

160
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,481
Okay, so all we need
is a theme.

161
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:06,485
And cups, and ice,
and punch, and a cake.

162
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,695
Busy.

163
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,947
Hey, what's that show that
she's always talking about?

164
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,323
Is this how
you are with Pam?

165
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,576
Because she must want to
shoot herself in the face.

166
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,827
You know what?
I could use a little help.

167
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,829
You know what?
I'm a little busy.

168
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:23,878
We have a lot to do,
and you are

169
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,046
putting up a very
effeminate sign.

170
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,173
Is that what you've been doing?
Making a sign?

171
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,258
It's not effeminate.
It's festive.

172
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,010
You've been
making that sign

173
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,304
for something that we could just
announce to the whole office?

174
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,181
Hey, everybody,
the party's now at 3:00!
175
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,433
I know, I just read
it on the sign.

176
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:47,443
Good morning,
Viet-Nashua!

177
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:55,284
Sales. Sales is what
brings us together today.

178
00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:01,248
How do we deal
with clients who say,

179
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,752
"Frankly, my dear, I don't
give a damn about paper,"

180
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:08,714
and get them to
show us the money?

181
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:12,134
Well, we are going
to find out today.

182
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,595
Show of hands, how many
of you are salesmen?

183
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:15,804
Let's see the salesmen.

184
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,058
Oh, okay. Well, I know what
the rest of you are thinking.

185
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:24,605
"Wow, yuck, salesmen are
the worst, they are awful.

186
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:29,777
"They are so arrogant. They think the
whole place revolves around them.
187
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:35,532
"Handsome, good listeners, funny.
Mr. Wonderful."

188
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,911
So, okay, you're a salesman,
what's your name?

189
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:39,995
A.J.

190
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,374
A.J. What kind of name is A.J.?
What, do you race cars?

191
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,210
I'm a salesman, that's
why I raised my hand.

192
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,088
Ouch. Okay. Good.

193
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,215
You're funny,
very good and funny.

194
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:55,261
Tell me, A.J., are you dating?
Is there somebody you date?

195
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,556
Yeah. Why,
you interested?

196
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,227
I have a question about
discounts from distributors.

197
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,812
Yep, we will get to you.

198
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,981
Okay, so you're
dating somebody.

199
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,732
Um...

200
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,526
Is it serious?

201
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,779
It's pretty serious. Yes.

202
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,202
Does she ever
talk about me?

203
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,537
Oh, God.

204
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,456
Excuse me?

205
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,958
What does this
have to do with sales?

206
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,543
It's all connected,
shut up.

207
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:29,253
Does she ever
mention Michael Scott?

208
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:32,464
No. What are you
talking about?

209
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,468
Does it feel good?

210
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,387
Does what feel good?

211
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,932
Your life. Oh, wow.

212
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,521
My legs are
sort of giving out.
213
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,940
Long drive in the car,
so let me...

214
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,026
...just continue.

215
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:58,157
Oh, wow. Okay.

216
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,700
Michael, get off the floor.

217
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,704
Yeah, yeah,
I can't do this, Pam.

218
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,833
Just read the cards.
No, no, no.

219
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,335
Michael, you have to do it.

220
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,211
No, I'm okay.
I'm all right.

221
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,760
Okay. Okay.

222
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,475
That was weird, huh?

223
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,686
It's all part of
the presentation.

224
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,648
It was confusing, right?

225
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:37,780
Because confusing situations happen
to us all the time in our jobs.
226
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,744
I'm just trying to bridge the
gap between what just happened

227
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:47,164
and the fact that I'm going to be
doing the rest of the presentation.

228
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,212
Sales is like a box
of chocolates.

229
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,340
You never know which
vendor you're gonna get.

230
00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,385
Forrest Gump.

231
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:06,892
Blazer, freckles, penguin,

232
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,978
K. D. Lang,
Holly's boyfriend.

233
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:15,401
These mnemonic devices
help to make a connection,

234
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:19,238
and then also to
help you memorize names.

235
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,700
I have a chainsaw!

236
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,377
Cutting down
the competition.

237
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,923
- Where is that bad cat?
- You know who you are.

238
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,592
Excuse me, Petals,
I'm looking for Mr. Ash.

239
00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,011
He's a bad cat.
Bad, bad cat.

240
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,514
Do you hear me?
Bad. You are bad.

241
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,433
No, you look at me
when I talk to you.

242
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:49,393
Do you hear me,
Mr. Ash? Look at me.

243
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,526
This is getting weird.

244
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,530
Is she cleaning the cat
with her tongue?

245
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,664
Has this been on
the entire time?

246
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,165
I have no idea.

247
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:39,253
I was looking at pictures
of food on my computer.

248
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,923
Well, sorry I'm late.

249
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,309
I want to get
that image out of my head.

250
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,729
The psychological issues
that go behind licking a cat
251
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,148
are not things
I want to go into.

252
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,401
Also, I'm pretty sure
she coughed up a hairball.

253
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,489
Don't look up.
Don't look up.

254
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,874
Want some pie?
No.

255
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,210
I went through Holly's things.
What?

256
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,753
I stole a sleeve
of her sweater.

257
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,380
Oh, Michael.

258
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,258
I also stole something
off of her computer.

259
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:29,595
A document called "Dear
Michael." You did what?

260
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,181
I shouldn't have done it. It just...
I couldn't help it.

261
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,894
She never sent it to you?
No, she didn't.

262
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,606
I'm going to read it.
263
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,773
No.
Yes.

264
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,610
No, under no circumstances
can you read that letter.

265
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:47,195
It's a violation
of her trust.

266
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,530
How?

267
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,157
Because she didn't send it to you.
I know, I know.

268
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,908
You're right, you're right.

269
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,414
I could read it.

270
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,876
No, I wouldn't...

271
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,587
Yeah, I could read it.

272
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,047
No, you don't
have to do that.

273
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,215
Go get your laptop.
Okay.

274
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,680
What? I'm not
in love with her.

275
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,602
You have to write
my suggestions down, too.
276
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:22,356
I'm not writing "horse hunt." I
don't even know what that means.

277
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,899
It's in the name.

278
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:33,283
Okay, so far, our ideal party consists
of beer, fights to the death,

279
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:36,453
cupcakes, blood pudding,
blood, touch football,

280
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,539
mating, charades and,
yes, horse hunting.

281
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,541
You're right. Forget horse hunting.
It's stupid.

282
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,336
Look, is there a birthday that
you remember that you loved?

283
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:48,215
Here's one.
It was dark, warm, wet.

284
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:53,762
A sudden burst of light, an intense
pressure like I'd never felt before.

285
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:57,474
Father dressed in white pulls me
forward, mother bites the cord.

286
00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,727
Okay, stop.
Forever stop that story.

287
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,855
That's disgusting and it doesn't count.
So give me another one.
288
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,149
Schrutes don't
celebrate birthdays, idiot.

289
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,485
It started as a
Depression-era practicality

290
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,320
and then moved on to
an awesome tradition

291
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,364
that I look
forward to every year.

292
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,490
What about you?

293
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,991
Actually, when I was
seven, my dad took me

294
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,119
to the Natural History
Museum in New York,

295
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,662
and we looked at
fossils all day.

296
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:21,498
And at the end of the day, he got
me a little plastic triceratops.

297
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,125
It was awesome.

298
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,962
That's cool. Hey, you know what's
even cooler than triceratops?

299
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,048
Every other dinosaur
that ever existed.
300
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,843
Didn't see
that one coming.

301
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,476
It's deleted.

302
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,314
She still has
feelings for you.

303
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,150
She said that?

304
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,736
Is that what it said?
What did it say?

305
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,447
I can't tell
you specifically,

306
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,907
but it's not over.

307
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,534
You're sure?

308
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,506
Okay.

309
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,013
Happy birthday.

310
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,473
Happy birthday.
Surprise.

311
00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:22,184
It's... Hey, hey,
it's not a surprise.

312
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:24,436
This doesn't look good.

313
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,979
What? You have a cake.

314
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,858
You have a delicious cake with
your name spelled correctly?

315
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,112
I told you. You haven't
heard our theme, though.

316
00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,990
You don't hear a theme.
You see it.

317
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,784
Why is there
a Chiclet on my cake?

318
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:42,370
That's the best part. That represents
a pillow. Or a television.

319
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,747
Our theme, if you will.

320
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,332
Because the fun part
is you get to decide

321
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,459
on an hour of television
or an hour of napping.

322
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,211
That's our theme.

323
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,964
Cool.
Yeah?

324
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,550
I love it.

325
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,135
Oh, yes! Okay, good.
326
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,470
So what's it
going to be, Kapoor?

327
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,430
Can she pick
a half hour of each?

328
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,556
No.
No.

329
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,308
Then pick TV.

330
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,060
- Pick a nap.
- No, no. TV.

331
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,771
Watching TV at
work is really cool.

332
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,898
Pick a nap. Nothing
good is on right now.

333
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,191
Bonnie Hunt is on.

334
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,193
You know what? I have been
watching TV all week.

335
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,653
I choose nap.
All right.

336
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:18,406
Okay, nap it is.
Everyone out! Get out.

337
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,408
We're going to be
eating cake at our desks.

338
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,410
Let's go. Move it.

339
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,748
Let's go, go, go, go, go, come on.
I got this.

340
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:34,923
This is for you.
And happy birthday, Kell.

341
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,967
Thank you.

342
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,683
Okay. You've got one hour.

343
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,813
I'm too excited to sleep.

344
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:56,945
Mmm.

345
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:58,989
Great cake.

346
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,199
Thanks.

347
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,298
Birthday time is over.

348
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,757
Now go make up for
all the work you missed

349
00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,551
when you were
taking your nap.

350
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,265
Many happy returns.

351
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,857
I feel great.
So good to have closure.
352
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,569
We should go apologize
to Roy or something.

353
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,195
No. We don't
need to do that.

354
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,449
Who have I wronged?
Who have I wronged?

355
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,742
Oh! Oh!

356
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,077
What about that fat guy from
Stamford that I insulted?

357
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,663
We should find him.
You mean Tony.

358
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,166
Jabba the Hutt,
Pizza the Hut.

359
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,419
Fat guys like pizza, pepperoni
pizza, Pepperoni Tony.

360
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,670
Oh, Michael.

361
00:20:56,172 --> 00:21:01,051
Man, was he fat.
So, so fat.

362
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,845
You know what?
Forget it.

363
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:08,183
I know me. When I saw him I would
never be able to apologize to him.
364
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:14,356
Too fat. Big, fat fatty.