Professional Documents
Culture Documents
For The Crime of Love: by Killingsaray
For The Crime of Love: by Killingsaray
1
killingsaray
2
For The Crime Of Love
3
killingsaray
4
For The Crime Of Love
For you.
5
killingsaray
6
For The Crime Of Love
Chapter 1:
Syllabus
Fucking Mondays.
Twisting her body like a cat, Macarena Ferreiro stretched her
limbs, luxuriating in the delicious loosening of each muscle.
She rolled with the sensation, yawning wide and exhaling what
was surely unruly morning breath.
“Ow!”
The blonde had accidentally rolled too far and managed to end
up in a heap on the floor, tangled in her bedsheets. The
movement yanked on her cell phone’s charging cord and the
phone landed beside her and that’s when she saw it.
09:38, it read.
“Shit!”
Macarena scrambled to get up. Of course she was late for the
first day of her final year of graduate school. Macarena
Ferreiro, M.S. had a nice ring to it. One more year in school and
she would be on her way to spending the rest of her life digging
deep into the psyche of criminals in hopes of helping make the
world a better place. The work was tough but intriguing and the
money that she would make would be incredible.
If she managed to make it to class before graduation.
She showered quickly, managing to brush her teeth in
between the shampooing and conditioning processes.
Macarena was pretty sure she achieved some sort of world
record for the fastest dresser because before the condensation
on her bathroom mirror had evaporated, she was snatching her
killingsaray
backpack off of the living room floor where she left it the
previous night. And then she was out the door.
***
killingsaray
10
11
killingsaray
***
12
After her final class of the day, Macarena sat in a quiet corner
of the library, her MacBook opened to a blank screen, its cursor
flashing accusingly.
Write something. Write something. Write something.
“Here’s a hint,” the warm voice startled Maca into looking up,
only to see the curly-haired beauty from Professor Zahir’s class,
”you're supposed to put your fingers on the keys. When you tap
them, they make words.”
Macarena laughed. “Oh, is that how this thing works?”
The brown-skinned babe held out a hand. “Estefenía, but
everyone calls me Rizos.”
Maca shook her hand. “Macarena—.”
“Ferreiro. I remember.”
“My friends call me Maca.”
“Pues, mucho gusto, Maca.”
“Igual.”
“I don’t know if it’s your scene, but my ex-girlfriend is a DJ at
Cruz. It’s a bar downtown.” Rizos pulled a flyer from her bag
and handed it to Maca. “A bunch of us are going tonight to have
some drinks and unwind after the first day.”
Maca took the flyer and nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
“I hope to see you there.”
“Maybe you will.”
Rizos smiled her infectious smile and then disappeared as
quickly as she came.
Despite how the first day started, Maca was beginning to think
that it would end so much better.
13
killingsaray
Chapter 2:
The Chicken Or The Egg?
The first thing that Maca noticed about Cruz was that,
despite it being a Monday night, the place was packed. Set
in the heart of the Salamanca district in Madrid, Cruz was a
modern discotheque that catered to its high-energy crowds.
The drinks were strong, the music was loud and the dancing
never ended.
The moment Maca entered the dimly-lit club, she walked
past a neon sign that reminded her that the world was hers.
Feeling the bass in her chest, she took in as much of the
sights and sounds as she could under the blue lighting.
Maca made her way to the bar and tried, in vain, to flag
down one of the bustling bartenders.
“Rubía, you came!” A voice to her right shouted. Maca
turned and smiled, relieved to see a familiar face. She
allowed Rizos to pull her into a tight hug as if they’d known
one another for years. It was nice, Maca admitted to herself.
Rizos’ energy was so familiar and inviting. It was clear that
she could make friends wherever she went.
“I did.” Maca shrugged. “I figured what’s the harm in
having a drink or two?”
“That’s the spirit!”
“If I can ever get the bartender's attention.”
“What do you want?”
“Tequila, any kind.”
Rizos nodded. She put her fingers in her mouth and blew
out a loud whistle, attracting the attention of the bartender
and a few unimpressed patrons.
14
15
killingsaray
16
17
killingsaray
***
18
19
killingsaray
***
20
21
killingsaray
She yanked the pen from her mouth and her eyes flickered
back to Zulema’s face. If she didn’t know any better,
Macarena could have sworn she saw the ghost of a smirk
pull at Zulema’s lips. But no sooner had it appeared, it was
gone again, and Macarena was forced to look down at her
paper and pretend to take notes if only to avoid further
embarrassment.
She refused to look back up for the remainder of the class.
If she had, she would have noticed the way Zulema’s brows
had knitted together.
22
Chapter 3:
Office Hours
23
killingsaray
24
***
25
killingsaray
26
this next week, I want you all to use the sign-in sheet
outside of my office door to have a one-on-one meeting with
me to discuss what I think you should work to improve this
year.”
Maca’s heart started to pound. She rubbed the palm of her
left hand over the leg of her jeans, trying desperately to
calm her stirring nerves.
It was moot.
Because one day this week, Maca was going to be alone in
a room with Zulema Zahir.
***
27
killingsaray
28
Chapter 4:
Passing Moments
29
killingsaray
30
something she wanted to focus more on. For the love of god,
the older woman had the body of a twenty-year-old
“Do you have any questions for me?”
“How old are you?” Maca heard the words leave her mouth
before she could stop them. Her eyes widened and she
leaned forward, both hands up in a sign of surrender. “I’m
sorry. That was rude. Don’t answer that. It’s none of my
business. Y-you just look so… young. Not that you aren’t
young, but I just—.”
Zulema smiled. Just like in the coffee shop a few days
prior, Macarena’s ranting was incredibly adorable.
Especially because Zulema knew she was the cause of it.
This time, Zulema decided she would put the young blonde
out of her misery. She pushed away from her notes and rose
from her chair. Rounding the wooden desk, she came to a
halt beside Maca’s left leg. The same leg that started to
bounce slightly as Maca shifted in her seat.
Zulema slipped her hands inside of the front pockets of her
jeans and leaned against the desk. Ducking her head to
catch Maca’s eyes, the brunette asked with a conspiratorial
scrunch of her nose, “How old do I look?”
She noticed Macarena’s chest rise and fall at a quicker rate.
And she had resumed chewing on that goddamned
thumbnail.
“Thirty?” Maca guessed.
Zulema’s smile widened. “Are you being polite?”
“No?” Macarena replied.
“Is that a question?”
“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”
Maca was entirely too flustered by Zulema’s proximity.
“I’m forty-eight.”
31
killingsaray
32
33
killingsaray
rounded her desk once more until she stood at her own
chair.
“Don’t give me that look.”
“What?” Helena grinned, crossing the room and standing
before Zulema’s desk. “Do I have on my ‘keep it in your
pants, Zule’ face on?”
“You’re ridiculous.” Zulema bent forward, pushing aside
papers to find the one she was searching for.
“Am I?” Hands cupped around the lip of the desk, Helena
leaned forward, asking with an unnecessary air of
sensuality, “Or are you just busted?”
“Am I busted?” Zulema tilted closer to Helena, matching
her posture and tone, “Or do you just get jealous of any
woman that I’m in a room alone with besides you?”
“I think you’re projecting, Zule.”
Zulema chuckled and stood to her full height. She plucked
a pen from her organizer and held it up for Helena. “Just
sign the damn paper.”
“Fine. Who else is coming to this lecture or do I have to
carry this whole department on my back?” Helena asked as
she signed the consent form.
“You really should see someone about those delusions,”
Zulema remarked.
“That’s what Fabio and a bottle of tequila are for.”
Zulema grimaced. “You’re still seeing him?”
“The only way to get over someone is to get under someone
new, right?”
“I can’t even begin to unpack what is wrong about that
statement,” Zulema said, “but to answer your first question,
Saray is also going to be at the lecture.”
“Excellent. Just like old times.”
34
35
killingsaray
Chapter 5:
Late
36
37
killingsaray
38
39
killingsaray
***
40
41
killingsaray
Chapter 6:
War
42
***
43
killingsaray
44
***
45
killingsaray
46
47
killingsaray
Chapter 7:
Pictures & Pitchers
“It’s not your fault, that’s just the risk we take living in the
twenty-first century. Allow me to explain…”
Saray walked back and forth across the stage as she spoke,
her hands gesticulating with purpose as she went. “The
Internet has made it incredibly easy for predators of all
sorts to find their next victim, but social media has made it
even easier. Now, let’s say you take a photo of your favorite
breakfast and geotag the cafe where you bought it. Not only
is that free advertisement for the cafe, but also, free
advertisement for where to find you every Sunday morning.
Another example is when you post a fun video of you and
your friends dancing at a club. All it takes now is for a date
rapist to find you at the club and slip something into your
drink.”
Maca’s posture straightened and she began to chew on her
thumbnail.
Rizos leaned over and whispered, “Sounds like your
Instagram, rubía.”
Maca shushed her quietly and turned back to the lecture.
Just as she did, she felt Zulema shift in her chair until her
left leg was outstretched and the other leg bumped against
Macarena’s. With a furtive glance to her left, Maca noticed
that Zulema made no effort to move it and she was focused
solely on Saray’s lecture. Untapped energy forced Maca’s leg
to start bouncing. Up and down it went, the friction
between her leg and Zulema’s warming her skin.
48
49
killingsaray
50
Rizos jutted her chin towards the stage. “Looks like Helena
is trying to get back with Zulema.”
“Wait, they were together? How do you know?”
Rizos gave her a look.
“Right,” Macarena acquiesced, eyes rolling, “you know
everyone and everything.”
Rizos grinned, “And don’t you forget it.”
“What about Zulema and Saray?”
“What about them?”
“Did they ever date?”
“Gross, no. They’re like sisters. Saray really looks up to
Zulema, and whether she knows it or not, Zulema looks up
to her, too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, apparently Zulema didn't have a very structured
upbringing, so Saray is sort of her conscience at times.”
Macarena nodded, soaking up the information like a
sponge.
“Have you taken any classes with Professor Martín?”
“Helena? Nah, but she seems cool. A bit cocky, but it
clearly works for her,” Rizos mentioned with a shrug.
“Yeah,” Macarena distractedly replied, “clearly.”
She took her eyes away from the stage for a moment and
then turned back to it, Saray was walking down the steps
and towards them. She knelt on the empty seat in front of
them and leaned over the back of to reach for Rizos.
“Estefanía.” She said with a grin. They greeted one another
with a double-kiss and then Saray turned to Macarena,
holding out a hand. “Saray Vargas.”
“Macarena Ferreiro, although, I guess you already knew
that,” Maca replied, nodding towards the stage.
51
killingsaray
52
***
53
killingsaray
54
sure it was the alcohol giving her the confidence to ask, but
at least she finally asked.
“I’m still trying to figure you out.”
That was… okay, yeah that’s fair, Maca thought.
“What’s there to figure out?”
“Everything.”
“You could just ask.”
“I could,” Zulema turned to her and smirked, “but what
fun would that be?”
Maca shook her head, expression matching Zulema. “Fine,
I’ll let you continue to be intimidating.”
“Let me?” Zulema laughed and Maca’s eyes dropped to her
mouth.
“Yeah,” teased Maca, “let you.”
“Vale.” The two pitchers of beer and a receipt were placed
between the two women.
“Word of advice on being intimidated by something or
someone,” Zulema offered, signing her name on the credit
card receipt, “if you can’t get past the fear, go for it anyway.”
Maca’s jaw dropped. Zulema turned to walk away with the
pitchers of beer before stopping in her tracks. “That was
twenty-one words, by the way.”
Macarena grinned.
“Venga, rubíta,” Zulema called over her shoulder. “You
can get the next round.”
55
killingsaray
Chapter 8:
Black Tie
Macarena felt like she was floating on air when she got
home from the bar. She went through her nighttime routine
with a dopey grin on her face as she relived the last couple
of hours.
When they’d returned to their table of friends, Zulema
made it a point to stand next to the right of Maca’s chair.
Rizos noticed and when no one else was looking, she gave
Macarena a wide-eyed ‘I see what’s going on here’
expression. The small touches continued with Zulema’s arm
brushing across Maca’s shoulder as she leisurely rested her
arm on the back of her chair. At one point, as the
conversation shifted to the pros and cons of using profiling
tactics in a relationship, Saray wrapped an arm around
Zulema’s neck and whispered something in her ear. Zulema
looked at Maca, then back to Saray before shrugging. The
dynamic duo disappeared to the bathroom not long after
that, and when they returned, the group slowly began to
disperse, calling it a night.
The blonde turned off her bathroom light and padded
barefoot into her bedroom, scooping her phone from her
bedside table as she went. Maca flopped down into her bed,
pillows attempting to suffocate her with their fluff. She
unlocked her phone and opened the Instagram app,
scrolling through the pics Rizos had tagged her in. She
found one of her, Rizos, Saray, and Zulema. Zulema wasn’t
tagged.
But Saray was.
56
57
killingsaray
58
***
59
killingsaray
In class, Maca sat in the front row with Rizos beside her
and an eager-to-learn expression on her face. She watched
Zulema intently as the older woman paced back and forth,
lecturing them in criminal psychology.
On one particular Monday, Macarena had been focusing
extra hard on Zulema and the way she moved and spoke
and gestured with her hands because she’d totally zoned out
and didn’t realize it until Rizos nudged her.
“Rubía, class is over. Let’s go.”
“Qué?” Maca looked around and saw some students
packing up while others were already heading for the door.
“Sorry.”
Maca looked over at Zulema, who was sitting at her desk,
fingers clicking away at the keys. Rizos followed her gaze
and grinned. She leaned over Maca’s desk, whispering, “Hot
for teacher?”
“What?” Maca scoffed. “No! Don’t be ridiculous.”
Rizos’ brows disappeared under curly bangs. “The lady
doth protest too much, methinks.”
“Remind me again why you’re taking Intro to
Shakespeare.”
“Because I’m trying to become more cultured.”
“Mhm.” Maca said in disbelief, gathering her things, “and
the professor?”
“Not bad to look at.”
Maca laughed and slung an arm around Rizos’ neck.
“That’s the Rizos that I’ve come to know and love.”
The pair started towards the door and just before they
rounded the corner, Maca turned back around to see
Zulema looking directly at her, an unknown look dancing in
her eyes.
60
***
61
killingsaray
***
62
63
killingsaray
64
Chapter 9:
La Asesina y La Inspectora
65
killingsaray
The guests all lifted their plates and retrieved their cards.
Except for Rizos.
“Aww,” she pouted.
Saray ran the knuckle of her finger down Rizos’ cheek.
“Sorry, cariño. Looks like you’ll have to sit this one out with
me this year.”
Zulema and Maca looked at one another, each giving each
other a knowing look.
“Mingle, drink, investigate, find out who knows what.
Along with these appetizers," servers began placing plates of
food in front of the guests, along with small notebooks and
pens, "are your interview notepads. Use them wisely. Before
dessert, you will place your guesses in these hats." Another
of the servers showed off a black tophat with a Vanna-White
flourish. "One for the murderer. One for the accomplice. Be
sure to write your name on your submission and include
motive, weapon, and/or opportunity. There's a wonderful
prize for whoever figures out who the murderer and
accomplice are first."
Saray held up her glass of champagne and finished with,
"Happy hunting."
Maca opened her card and read it.
Character: Murderer.
Personality traits: Avid gardener. Avid reader.
Mysterious. Seductive.
Motive: Secretly in debt. Needs to collect on a multi-
million-dollar insurance policy in which you are the
beneficiary to run away with your lover (accomplice).
Weapon: Hemlock, fed to a quail. Quail fed to the victim
as their last supper.
This was going to be fun.
66
***
67
killingsaray
“Who now?”
Helena jutted her chin towards Zulema. “It’s her
mysterious nature, I think. She gives just a little to pull you
in, make you think she’s yours, and then you spend the rest
of your life wondering if you ever really had her to begin
with.”
“Beautiful things aren’t meant to be possessed,” Macarena
replied, shocking even herself with the statement. She
didn’t know where it’d come from, but there was something
about Helena that rubbed her the wrong way.
“Of course they aren’t but the fun comes with trying.”
Maca hummed in disagreement. “And how does that
normally work out for you?”
Helena’s eyebrows rose. She opened her mouth to
respond, but they were interrupted by Rizos who slipped an
arm around Maca’s waist.
“Okay, how fun is this?” Rizos quipped.
“You’re dead, how are you having fun?”
“I’m trying to solve my murder from beyond the grave.”
“Who do you think it is?” Helena inquired.
“Not sure yet, but if you don’t mind, I want to steal Maca
to take a few pictures in the garden.”
“Oh, of course.”
With a polite smile, Rizos steered Macarena away from
Helena.
“I hope you don’t mind me pulling you away, but it looked
like you were going to smack her.”
Maca laughed as they reached the garden where Rizos
proceeded to force Maca to take a dozen pictures of her in
front of a rose wall before she turned the camera on Maca,
herself.
68
69
killingsaray
“Even me?”
Zulema’s voice seemed to drop another octave when she
replied, “Especially you, rubía.”
Macarena smiled. “Well, you can relax. I’m just an
innocent bystander.”
“Hm, sounds like something a murderer would say.”
“Or an innocent bystander. Look at this face.” Maca
gestured a circle around her own head. “Is this the face of a
murderer?”
Zulema took the offered opportunity to gaze at Maca, eyes
tracing over her features. “Ted Bundy had a pretty face too,
and we both know how that ended.”
Macarena’s dimpled smile was sudden, lighting up her face
and Zulema seemed to understand the implications of what
she’d said.
She thinks I’m pretty, Maca thought happily.
Zulema suppressed her own smile before shaking her and
turning back to her food. “I don’t know what secret you
have, Macarena Ferreiro, but I’m going to figure it out.”
“Well then,” Maca said, cutting into her chicken, “happy
hunting.”
Across the table, Rizos and Saray who had been watching
the exchange, looked at one another, knowingly.
***
70
71
killingsaray
72
***
“Well, aren’t you just full of surprises?” Maca said when she
found Zulema outside in the back garden, lighting up a
cigarette.
Zulema chuckled. She took a drag and then blew a steady
stream of smoke from her lips.
“Doctor of psychology, profiler, professor, and singer?”
Macarena crossed the small divide between them and
smiled. “Is there anything you can’t do?”
“Trigonometry. It just doesn’t make sense to me.” Zulema
joked, waving a hand at the idea.
“Well, now you have my attention. What else can’t you
do?” Maca asked and she plucked the cigarette from
Zulema’s fingers. Zulema was momentarily disarmed by the
power move and the only way to regain the upper hand was
to make a power move of her own.
“A ver,” as she pretended to think, Zulema pushed off of
the stone pillar she’d been leaning against and shifted until
she was standing directly before Macarena, “I can’t cut my
own hair. Tried a few times. The first result was disastrous.”
“That’s a shame,” Macarena feigned pity.
“I can’t ride a bike for too long.”
“No?”
“God no. The side cramps are a bitch.”
“Well, we all have our strengths and weaknesses,” quipped
Maca.
“And for the life of me,” Zulema finished, “I can’t seem to
stay away from you.”
It was then, and only then, did Macarena realize that her
back was now pressed against the same stone column that
73
killingsaray
74
Just as she headed down the dark path towards the front of
the house, she remembered that she hadn’t driven.
Fuck.
She reached for her clutch to pull out her cell phone, but
her hands were empty.
Way to go, Cinderella, she scolded herself.
Rizos was sure to come out after her, especially seeing how
upset she was. But there was no way that she was walking
back inside. Taking the moments alone as a chance to
breathe deeply and attempt to clear her mind, Maca put her
hands on her hips and looked towards the sky as she paced
up and down the narrow walkway.
“Get it together, Ferreiro,” she coached herself.
Sure enough, a few moments later she heard the even
click-clacking of heels on stone coming from behind her.
Finally, RIzos was there to rescue her, hopefully with her
clutch in hand.
Except before she even turned around, somehow
Macarena knew that it wasn’t Rizos.
“Rizos wanted me to give this to you,” Zulema said.
Macarena turned around and took the silver purse from
Zulema’s outstretched hand.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Zulema didn’t leave.
Maca noticed.
“Maca, look, I know this is complicated, but I find that I
can’t stop wanting to get to work on Mondays. And yes,
there are probably… no, definitely some ethical reasons why
I shouldn’t do this, but—.”
75
killingsaray
76
For The Crime Of Love
Chapter 10:
Rules
77
killingsaray
78
***
79
killingsaray
80
***
81
killingsaray
82
“Broken.”
That wasn’t what Macarena expected. “What’s that
supposed to mean?”
“It means that Zulema’s fortress walls that are made of
profiling and psychoanalyzing everyone are just a defense
mechanism.”
“I don’t know if I have what it takes to break them down.”
“Well then, for the sake of your sex life, I hope her walls
aren’t as impenetrable as you think they are.” Rizos
laughed.
“You’re disgusting.” Maca laughed with her.
***
83
killingsaray
84
***
85
killingsaray
86
87
killingsaray
88
Chapter 11:
Tribe
89
killingsaray
90
***
91
killingsaray
***
92
93
killingsaray
seat. Her hands fell to the armrests of her chair and she
leaned back.
“You look exhausted.”
“Cramming will do that to you.”
Zulema nodded. “I really wish you wouldn’t put so much
undue pressure on yourself. You’re a smart woman. You’ll
do just fine without trying to fit three months’ worth of
coursework into a few hours.”
“That’s easier said than done, but thank you for the
compliment.” Maca smiled at Zulema.
“I can quote at least three different studies which prove
that stressing your brain out can have effects that last well
after college.”
“By scientists and psychologists who probably crammed all
night in college to earn their titles.”
Zulema smirked. “True, but I’m sure they wish they were
told what I’m telling you now.”
Macarena shrugged once.
“There are all kinds of things that could help you relax and
unwind.”
Maca’s mint green eyes flicked upwards to meet Zulema’s
and in unison, they both seemed to realize what she’d said.
Each looked away, lips curling into knowing smiles. Maca
reached forwards and tilted Zulema’s letter opener until it
was set straight along the edge of her desk.
“I’m sorry about what happened in class. Rizos can be…
persistent.” Macarena told her.
“Just keep in mind what I said.”
Keep your head in the books and try not to let Rizos pull
you into her party-girl lifestyle.
“I will.”
94
95
killingsaray
***
96
97
killingsaray
98
99
killingsaray
Chapter 12:
Impressions
100
101
killingsaray
opened the door of her stall, she had to blink a few times to
make sure she wasn’t drunk.
Standing at the sinks, washing her hands was Zulema.
The brunette looked up and gave Maca a secret smile, but
didn’t say a word. She turned back to her task as Maca
crossed the room and dispensed soap into her hand to begin
her own. She lathered her hands and rinsed them off,
reaching over to flick a little of the water against Zulema’s
forearm as she reached for the paper towels beside the
brunette’s head. Zulema smirked and allowed the blonde to
reach across her upper body. Handing one paper towel to
Zulema, Maca used the other for herself. Then she kissed
Zulema’s cheek, tossed the towelette into the trash, and
exited the bathroom.
A couple of games of pool and across-the-room eye-
fucking between Zulema and Macarena later, the two
groups of friends decided to part ways. Rizos, Maca, Luna,
and Yolanda headed back to one side of the bar, while
Zulema and Saray headed to the other side.
Somehow managing to keep her eyes off of Zulema for an
entire half-hour filled Macarena with pride. Still, there was
a giddiness about her that had nothing to do with the
outrageously funny things that came out of Luna’s mouth.
She knew it had everything to do with the fact that she’d
gotten a moment with Zulema, however brief it may have
been.
A little while later, the owner who also served as the
bartender, brought over a round of drinks.
“A little birdie told me that you ladies just finished your
midterm exams.” He said as he placed the drinks in front of
102
***
103
killingsaray
***
104
105
killingsaray
high for two glasses. The glasses were filled halfway and one
was placed across the marble countertop to Macarena.
Then Zulema crossed the expansive kitchen again and
opened the fridge, revealing an incredibly organized set up
inside. Water, beer, and mango juices, all perfectly aligned
on the top row, labels faced forward. Macarena squinted as
Zulema knelt to open the crisper. The second and third
shelves were just as put together as the first and it made
Macarena briefly wonder if Zulema was obsessive-
compulsive. Her eyes started to roam around the kitchen
again. Nothing seemed out of place. Nothing. Even the
labels of spices along the steel rack were facing forward.
“Can I help with anything?”
“No, you’re my guest,” Zulema told her as she pulled out
fresh cherry tomatoes, an onion, green and red peppers and
a wrapped package of what Macarena assumed was lamb.
“I’ll feel awful if you don’t let me do something.”
Zulema washed her hands and then the vegetables before
returning to the large island counter space. Looking up at
Maca, Zulema laughed at the exaggerated pout on her face.
“Fine,” she relented and pulled a knife out of a drawer
beside her hip, “find us some music to listen to.”
“Point me in the right direction.”
Zulema used the knife to point behind Macarena into the
dark TV room. Maca took her wine and stepped through the
open concept archway into the next room, easily finding the
lightswitch on the wall. The room illuminated softly,
revealing exposed brick across the northern wall where an
enormous tv was mounted high above an electric fireplace.
A comfortable-looking couch, complete with a soft throw
blanket tossed decoratively over the back, sat in the center
106
of the room. She walked further into the room and to her
left was a beautiful stereo system sitting on a floating shelf.
Just below were several rows of CDs and below those was
an extensive collection of vinyl records.
To her left, on the easternmost wall was a glass and crystal
vinyl player that looked like it cost more than Maca’s
tuition. She peered through the vast CD collection before
deciding on a Miles Davis vinyl. She put it on and within
seconds, the place was filled with soulful jazz tunes.
While Zulema prepped their lamb and veggie skewers,
Macarena took a lap around the TV room, trying to piece
together Zulema’s life story with only a few photographs
and knickknacks on display. She was just beginning to smell
the sharp scent of food being cooked on a grill when she hit
paydirt.
There, on the metal and glass bookshelf above the vinyl
player, was a picture of teenaged Zulema, middle-finger
raised to the camera, and her signature smirk on display.
She was surrounded by what looked like a group of bikers in
front of a bar.
“Ah, you found juvenile delinquent Zulema,” came the
brunette’s low voice from behind her.
Maca looked at the picture again and then over her
shoulder at Zulema. "So you were a little badass, then?"
"Mm." Zulema hummed in amusement. "My mother says I
was the only hell she'd ever raised. Everyone from my old
life is surprised that I became a criminal psychologist
instead of a professional criminal."
Maca grinned up at Zulema, her dimples deepening. "I bet
you still have a little bit of bad in you."
107
killingsaray
***
108
109
killingsaray
110
111
killingsaray
112
113
killingsaray
114
sat down beside her, leaning close to Zulema who lifted her
arm for Macarena to cuddle into her side.
Once they figured out which episode Macarena had
missed, they snuggled in, a warm blanket draped around
them, and they watched the drama unfold until their wine
was gone and their eyes were heavy.
And eventually, they were both sound asleep.
115
killingsaray
Chapter 13:
Secrets
The first thing Zulema felt when she woke up was well-
rested. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so
soundly, but she was certain it had been quite a while. The
second thing she felt was the warm temperature of the body
wrapped around her like a baby koala. She looked down and
couldn’t stop the sleepy smile that spread across her face,
nor could she stop her hand from reaching for silky blonde
hair and twirling the ends between her fingers.
Maca hummed her approaching wakefulness, brows
furrowing in objection.
“I can hear you thinking,” the blonde’s groggy voice
murmured. Green irises wrapped in honey opened slowly
and Maca looked up at Zulema. “What are you thinking?”
“That this is the first time I woke up with a woman I didn’t
have sex with.”
“Oh, that’s really romantic,” Maca teased, closing her eyes
again. She felt as Zulema’s chuckle rumbled through her
chest.
“I thought you might like that one.”
Somewhere in the house, Zulema’s phone started ringing
and she groaned.
Maca’s hand slid up her chest and rested on her face,
finger tracing Zulema’s bottom lip. “What’s wrong?”
“I will bet my career that’s Saray calling.”
Maca pushed off of Zulema’s chest, letting the throw
blanket fall to the ground.
“Where are you going?”
116
117
killingsaray
“Saray, you made your bed and fucked Rizos in it. Now you
have to deal with the consequences.”
Maca’s eyes widened and she pointed to the phone.
They fucked? She mouthed to Zulema. Zulema nodded.
Maca found her phone as well, and sure enough, there was a
missed call and a text from Rizos waiting for her.
-I did something bad last night.
-Saray? Maca responded.
-Yes, followed by a facepalm emoji immediately hit Maca’s
screen and she shook her head.
-Late lunch/early dinner tonight?
-Yes. My place, 4?
-I’ll be there.
Sitting her phone down, Maca lifted a strawberry to her
mouth and took a bite.
Zulema watched her mouth.
Maca watched Zulema.
The energy shifted and Zulema’s pupils dilated. It wasn’t
hard for Macarena to decipher exactly what Zulema was
thinking. She held up the strawberry to Zulema’s mouth.
Zulema’s lips parted and Maca swiped the red fruit across
her lips. Then she wrapped her arms around the brunette’s
neck. Her tongue followed the path of the berry before
dipping inside of Zulema’s mouth. Zulema groaned softly
into Maca’s mouth, eyes closing briefly as Macarena pulled
away.
“Yeah, but is she going to leave her girlfriend for you?”
Zulema asked. She started to prepare breakfast and it didn’t
take long before the house was filled with the
mouthwatering smell of bacon and eggs. Just before they
sat down to eat, Zulema ran upstairs to change into
118
***
119
killingsaray
120
“Thank you.” Rizos opened her arms for a hug, and Maca
rolled her eyes. She pushed off of the wall and embraced her
friend.
Back in the common areas, Maca sat on the couch beside
Luna, shaking her head when offered a hit of weed. Her
phone buzzed in her pocket and when she saw who had
messaged her, a swarm of butterflies began to flutter
around her stomach.
-I’m sitting in this meeting and I can’t stop
thinking.
-What are you thinking about? Maca typed, smiling at her
phone.
Zulema was still in her work meeting and she was thinking
about Maca!
Three little dots appeared at the bottom of her phone
screen and Maca’s smile widened.
-Of all the ways I can ruin you, Zulema texted back.
-Who says I won’t ruin you?
The three dots reappeared. Then disappeared. It took a few
minutes, but Zulema finally responded.
-Who says you haven’t already?
Macarena responded to Zulema with an angel emoji before
she was called to the dining room. Last to the table, the only
spot left was to the right of Saray. She tried to keep her
attention on Luna and Yolanda. But at one point, Rizos had
gotten up to use the bathroom and Saray turned to
Macarena, gaining her attention by nudging her shoulder.
“What’s the problem, rubita? You’ve said maybe ten words
to me all night.” Saray inquired.
121
killingsaray
”I don’t think it’s right that you guys are doing this behind
Nerea’s back. She’s a good person. So, you and Rizos need
to sort your shit out before someone gets hurt.”
“Hm,” hummed Saray, head nodding. “Zulema is a good
cook, no?”
“Que?” Maca asked, confused.
Saray pulled out her phone and tapped at the screen a few
times, scrolling until she found what she was searching for.
She sat her phone on the table between them. “Couldn’t
help but see that you had a hearty breakfast this morning.”
She pointed to the photo that Macarena had posted on her
Instagram story that morning. “Those plates were a gift
from me to Zule a few years back. So, Rizos and I aren’t the
only ones with a secret.”
Saray tilted her head, made a tsking noise out of the side of
her mouth, and then shrugged a shoulder. The brunette
seemed more hurt than angry, and not all of the blame was
on Macarena. Zulema was her best friend and the older
woman had kept something from Saray. Something huge.
Still, one picture wasn’t exactly proof of anything. For all
Saray knew, Zulema had invited Macarena over for dinner
to talk about a teaching assistant position. At least, that was
the lie that Macarena told herself to make her feel better.
She locked her phone’s screen and before Macarena could
respond, Rizos had plopped back down in her chair across
from them.
“What’d I miss?”
“Just showing Maca a funny Instagram post.”
“Rizos!” Luna pulled Rizos’ attention away before the
brunette could ask to see it and Maca sighed in relief. Her
appetite was gone. For the remainder of their meal, Maca
122
simply pushed her food around her plate and listened to her
friends’ conversations. The worst part was that all she
wanted to do was call Zulema, but… she couldn’t.
Was this a violation of their rules? She hadn’t technically
told Saray anything, but it was her fault that Saray
suspected.
Stupid fucking Instagram.
She should have known better. Especially after Saray’s
lecture on social media.
-...I think Saray knows.
She pressed send on the text to Zulema.
Zulema didn’t respond.
***
123
killingsaray
sweatshirt over a tank top, the blonde made her way to the
front door and unlocked it.
“Zulema,” Maca exclaimed in surprise.
Zulema looked much like she had that morning when she
dropped Macarena off. The only difference was that she’d
switched her sweatpants for a pair of dark cargo pants.
Hoodie half-on and half-off and hands in her pockets,
Zulema leaned against the doorway of Maca’s apartment
and raised her brows.
“It’s rude to let guests stand in the hallway, rubita.”
“Sorry! Come in.” She opened the door further, shutting
and locking it behind them.
“What were you doing?”
“Watching TV in bed.” It wasn’t a lie. The television was
on, albeit muted.
Zulema took Macarena’s hand and started down the dark
hallway to the only room with light. Once inside, Zulema
looked around as she kicked off her shoes. She turned and
flopped down onto Macarena’s bed, feet crossed at the
ankles.
“Are you waiting for an invitation into your own bed?”
“I’m just surprised that you’re here. In my bed.”
Zulema grinned and opened her arms as if to say ‘here I
am’. Maca climbed into the bed with her and crawled up
Zulema’s body until either of her knees were pressed into
the mattress and she’d settled against Zulema’s lap.
“Nice sweatshirt,” commented Zulema.
Maca looked down and then back at Zulema whose eyes
were dancing with mirth.
“Thanks, some hot professor let me borrow it.”
“Hm, sounds like she really likes you.”
124
125
killingsaray
126
Chapter 14:
Body Language
127
killingsaray
128
129
killingsaray
130
131
killingsaray
132
133
killingsaray
***
134
135
killingsaray
“Okay, let’s get started, shall we? I’m Dr. Soledad Núñez
and most of you already know Professor Helena Martin.”
Helena gave a small wave and a smile to the class. Maca
scoffed under her breath.
“Let me start by saying that while every human is different
and the way we physically act on our emotions always vary,
the one thing that we all have in common is our facial
expressions. Specifically, our microexpressions. These are
the small ticks and twitches that our bodies make during
any interaction with another human and they can prove to
be incredibly valuable in our line of work. May I?” Dr.
Núñez asked of Zulema. The brunette gestured for her to do
as she pleased and moved out of the way to sit on a stool
beside her desk.
Everyone watched as the expert tapped at Zulema’s
keyboard and then slipped a plug in the computer. In an
instant, the whiteboard behind her lit up with images of
three different well-known celebrities.
“Who can tell me what this expression is?” Dr. Núñez
asked.
“Frustration?” Someone called from the back of the class.
“Good answer, but not quite.”
“Embarrassment,” Macarena said. Dr. Núñez looked
shocked.
“Why?”
“I mean, I can see why someone would assume frustration
from the knitted brows. But when you add that to the way
their hands are touching their left brow and how they’re all
looking down as if reliving a mistake in their mind, it seems
more like an embarrassment to me.”
136
137
killingsaray
138
139
killingsaray
140
***
141
killingsaray
142
143
killingsaray
***
Zulema had just started to drift off to sleep when she felt
Maca’s fingertips tracing the lines of her face.
“Detente, rubía,” Zulema muttered.
Down her nose, across her lips. And then there was a
pause in her movements before Maca slid her finger down
Zulema’s tattoo. Zulema inhaled deeply.
She knew what was coming next.
144
145
killingsaray
Chapter 15:
Cold Case
146
Maca shut the door behind her and walked further into the
office, dropping her keys and clutch on Zulema’s desk. She
walked around it until she stood before her.
“And what exactly would that be?”
Zulema’s eyes dropped below Maca’s face to take in her
crewneck sweater and button-up combo. It was paired
beautifully with a chiffon miniskirt, wool thigh-high socks,
and heeled booties to create a perfect fall look. It also served
to drive Zulema wild.
“I like you in miniskirts.”
Macarena’s dimple appeared and Zulema ached to pull the
blonde to her and kiss it. But they were on campus. In her
office.
And there were rules.
Stupid fucking rules thought Zulema.
Macarena looked just as pained that she couldn’t reach out
to touch Zulema.
“Are you all packed and ready?”
“Yeah.” Maca thrust a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m
actually on my way now. I just stopped by to see you before
I go.”
Against her better judgment, Zulema reached out to finger
the material of Macarena’s skirt. “Are you gonna miss me?”
She asked.
Macarena was going to respond except Zulema’s finger
trailed down until it reached soft skin before hooking into
the elastic of her thigh-high socks and tugging gently.
Macarena watched Zulema’s bottom lip pulled between her
teeth and it wasn’t hard for her to figure out what was on
the professor’s mind.
147
killingsaray
148
149
killingsaray
her legs, and off. Squeezing one globe, Zulema used her
other hand to push Macarena against the desk.
Then there was silence as Zulema took in Maca’s perfect
body bent over the desk; face down and ass up. She wasn’t
sure there’d ever been a more beautiful sight. It had always
been a secret fantasy of hers to have sex on her office desk.
But, the rules had always been in place.
Even with Hanbal.
It was hard for a woman in her field to be taken seriously,
so Zulema was always determined to remain professional
while she was on campus. There was, however, something
about Macarena Ferreiro that she couldn’t put her finger on
that made her want to break all of the rules.
A drawer opened to Macarena’s right, then shut. The next
one that opened came from her left. A few rustling sounds
followed by Zulema making a hum of satisfaction. Try as
she might, Maca couldn’t see what Zulema had retrieved
and it filled her with nervous excitement. Macarena jumped
when she felt the cool sensation of something running up
her left leg while the warmth of Zulema’s body pressed itself
against her back. Her eyes closed briefly and then she heard
metal clank against the desk.
“Hm?” Zulema said in question. Maca turned and looked
down to see a gold-plated metal ruler in Zulema’s closed
fist. The blonde couldn’t stop the moan if she tried. This was
her very fantasy coming to life. She nodded in the
affirmative and that was enough for Zulema. She pressed a
quick, rough kiss to Maca’s lips and then pushed off of
Maca’s body.
Unprepared for the pleasurable sting of the ruler, Maca
moaned. Her hands reached the other side of the desk,
150
curling around the lip and she prepared herself for the next
spank. When it came, her pussy clenched and she cried out.
Again and again, Zulema alternated spanking either side of
Maca’s ass and then soothing the warm skin by squeezing it
firmly. By the time Zulema got to number ten, Macarena
was a sobbing mess and the evidence of her gratification
was sticking to her inner thighs.
“Please, Zulema!” Maca whined, ass poking out just that
much more. And thank fuck that Zulema took the hint
because Maca wasn’t sure she would be able to form the
right words.
She heard the wind from the ruler’s arc before she felt the
sharp slap against cunt. Her inner muscles fluttered and no
sooner did she think she was going to come from the
spanking alone, the ruler clattered against the desk as
Zulema dropped it, and then, Maca felt Zulema’s fingers
enter her from behind.
“Oh, god, yes!”
Zulema pumped in and out, working hard to bring
Macarena to her peak. She shushed the blonde’s heightened
moans, threatening her with more punishment as she railed
into her from behind, but that only served to egg her on.
“I want to see you come,” Zulema whispered and whirled
her around, picked her up, promptly sitting Macarena on
the edge of the desk. She lifted one of Maca’s legs until her
ankle met Zulema’s shoulder and then slipped back inside.
Maca’s hands went for Zulema’s pants, undoing them until
she could wiggle her hand inside. In between soft skin and
the rough material of her pants, Maca found liquid gold.
She wasted no time sliding inside of Zulema, pressing her
thumb against the brunette’s clit. She worked them in and
151
killingsaray
152
***
Her family was happy to see her. It’d been so long since the
last time Macarena had gone home. It was intentional, of
course, although it would be a lie if she said she didn’t miss
them too. It was nice to be wrapped tightly in her dad’s
arms as he lifted her as high as he could in his older age.
Her mother, Encarna, had smiled warmly before ushering
them both inside to ward off the fall chill.
They had a fantastic dinner —grilled halibut, roasted red
potatoes, and carrots— followed by drinks and after-dinner
conversation. Her brother, Román wowed them with stories
from his work at the CNI, which refreshed his memory.
Tipping his wine glass towards his sister, he recalled,
“Maca, you have Dr. Zahir this year, no?”
153
killingsaray
154
***
155
killingsaray
156
***
157
killingsaray
158
159
killingsaray
160
161
killingsaray
162
For The Crime Of Love
Chapter 16:
Moving Forward
As much as she hated to admit it, Saray was right. The spa
weekend had been exactly what she needed to relax,
rejuvenate, and take her mind off of Hanbal’s case. There
were massages and facials and aloe-mud baths that left her
skin with a tingly kind of newness. She and Saray slept in
the spa’s hotel in a suite that separated their bedrooms by a
small kitchenette and a sitting room. In between spa
treatments, they lazed with Saray’s head lying on Zulema’s
lap as they watched tv and caught up with each other’s lives.
When she returned home on Sunday afternoon, she neatly
packed up Hanbal’s case leaving the boxes atop her desk for
later investigation. Then she showered, washed her hair,
turned her cell phone back on, and headed downstairs to
start dinner. She had just finished chopping onions to
sautée when her phone started ringing.
Maca, Zulema thought, hopefully. She said she would call
when she got back to her off-campus apartment.
Mi gitana, her phone screen read.
“Mi amor, we just spent the weekend together. You have to
give me time to miss you, Saray,” Zulema teased.
“Ha ha,” deadpanned Saray. “Come to The Academy.”
“I just started dinner.”
“Slap some plastic wrap on it. Castillo’s got shot specials.”
Zulema’s ears perked up.
“I need food.”
There was a shuffling sound and then she heard Saray
yelling an order of wings and fries to someone in the
163
killingsaray
***
164
165
killingsaray
the screen was the geotag for The Academy Sports Bar &
Grille. Zulema’s eyes flickered up to the top of the screen.
Posted six minutes ago.
Distractedly, Zulema replied to Saray, “You are a bad
influence.”
Zulema vaguely heard Saray scoff in response and try to
persuade Millán that she wasn’t, but she was too focused on
her troubling blonde.
Why hadn’t Macarena text her to let her know she was
home?
“Oye. Rizos is here?” Zulema murmured to Saray because
if anyone knew where Rizos was at any given moment, it
was Saray.
Saray turned around and her eyes began to scan the main
bar. When she didn’t see her curly-haired lover, Saray
looked at Zulema and shook her head, shrugging. Zulema
decided to respond to Macarena’s story instead.
-You’re here? At The Academy, I mean.
-Yes. Blowing off some steam with Rizos. Are you here?
-Yes. Everything okay?
There were a few moments of contemplative thinking on
Macarena’s end before she finally replied to Zulema’s
message.
-We need to talk.
Another message followed quickly after the first. Can I
come by later?
-Yes.
Twenty years of investigative work and a very instinctual
part of Zulema told her that whatever this was… wasn’t
good.
166
***
167
killingsaray
168
169
killingsaray
170
171
killingsaray
172
Chapter 17:
Friendsmas!
173
killingsaray
174
***
175
killingsaray
Maca played hostess to her last two guests, and in the back
of her mind, she wondered if the two were avoiding their
own homes.
Had her apartment become a safe house for their
clandestine affair?
Rizos rolled her eyes and laughed. “It’s Saray’s version of
Christmas.”
“Yeah, so my family doesn’t really celebrate, but I love the
holidays, and since Zulema is Muslim, I came up with a
neutral, religious-free holiday of my own celebrated a week
before Christmas.”
“Friendsmas,” Maca deduced.
“Exactamente.” Saray looked pleased with herself. “An
entire weekend of winter-themed fun at a cabin in the
mountains that ends Sunday night where everyone gets
dressed up for an incredible, catered dinner. Some drinks. A
gift exchange, maybe a holiday-themed photo booth for the
memories. I’m probably biased, but it’s my all-time favorite
holiday.”
Macarena remembered how amazing Saray’s Halloween
dinner had been and that was only her second favorite
holiday; it made Maca excited to see what Saray came up
with for this one.
“Are you getting the Christmas carolers to deliver the
invitations again this year?” Rizos wondered.
Saray considered it for a few moments before shaking her
head in the negative. “I have to come up with a clever way of
doing it this year because Zule likes to slam her door in
their faces.”
Maca snorted her laughter.
“Toss them down people’s chimneys,” laughed Rizos.
176
177
killingsaray
178
***
179
killingsaray
180
181
killingsaray
182
183
killingsaray
Chapter 18:
You Feel It Too?
The room that Maca and Zulema had been assigned was
breathtaking. Upon entering, the first thing Maca noticed
was the slanted bleached wood ceiling that came to a point
to the east where the wall had been replaced by a beautiful
window that overlooked the estate. It was too dark now, but
Zulema was certain that, come morning, they would be able
to see the fog-capped mountains in the distance. The decor
was stunning: white linens with tan and gray accents. The
bed was situated towards the far left and there was an
expansive space of floor in between, separating it from the
lounging area near the window. A small couch, table, and
even a Friendsmas tree, decorated to match the room’s
color scheme, beside an electric fireplace inhabited the large
space.
Maca had disappeared into the en-suite bathroom shortly
after they dropped their bags beside the door. Zulema heard
the toilet flush followed by the sink turning on and then an
excited squeal a few moments later. Maca reappeared,
practically skipping out of the bathroom. “Carí, look what I
found!”
If the pet name took Zulema by surprise, she didn’t show
it. She simply turned from the wall of windows and saw
Maca holding a candy cane in each hand.
“In the toothbrush holders,” she said, absolutely pleased
with herself.
Zulema grinned and watched as Macarena crossed the
room, a giddy smile on her face. Her arms slid perfectly
184
185
killingsaray
186
187
killingsaray
188
against Zulema’s right leg. She leaned down and kissed the
brunette softly, only deepening the kiss when Zulema
moaned into her mouth.
Zulema felt exposed. And not just because Macarena had
her completely nude in front of uncovered windows and
across from a mirror. Zulema was emotionally naked as
well. And what was even more confusing to her was that she
liked it. She liked how she wasn’t afraid of what was
happening. And how she was almost positive that Macarena
felt the same way.
And she especially liked the way Maca was kissing her
neck as her knee pressed against Zulema’s drenched
underwear. The blonde squeezed both of her breasts, wet
mouth dropping down to encompass either of her hardened
nipples. Zulema tried to stop herself, but couldn’t help the
way she arched upward, craving more of the soft sucking
sensation.
The husky rasp of a moan floated into Maca’s ears as her
hand slid into Zulema’s panties. Her eyes closed as she felt
just what she’d done to Zulema.
“Para mi?” She asked, cheekily. Zulema attempted to roll
her eyes, but they closed tightly instead as Maca pushed two
fingers as deeply as she could inside of Zulema.
“Maca!” She pushed upward, using one hand to prop
herself up. Face-to-face with Maca, Zulema pulled her into a
passionate kiss as Maca continued to pump steadily in and
out of her.
It was unreal how perfect the moment was. Crackling fire
casting warm light over their sweat-slicked skin. Zulema
circling her hips to take more of Macarena. The blonde
began to roll her hips, Zulema’s leg serving to relieve the
189
killingsaray
***
Saturday, 9:09
190
191
killingsaray
***
192
193
killingsaray
“Vale, Rizos, ven aca,” Maca gestured with the card for
Rizos to come to her.
“Ohhh, we have props, ladies! This is gonna be good!”
Nerea shouted. That earned a round of applause as Rizos
made her way to Maca, stepping over Luna and Yolanda to
get to her.
Maca pointed to the floor, silently commanding Rizos to lie
down. Millán let out a wolf-whistle and Zulema leaned
forward until her feet rested on the floor. She took a sip of
wine before her forearms pressed against her knees and she
focused her undivided attention on the two friends.
Once Rizos lowered herself onto the floor, knees still
raised, Maca dropped down after her, slipping one denim-
clad leg over Rizos’, the other underneath.
“Missionary?” Luna asked.
Maca shook her head. She lifted Rizos’ leg up and over her
shoulder and a series of hooting catcalls floated around.
Maca looked down at a giggling Rizos and they both burst
out into laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation.
“Scissoring!” Nerea added.
Maca pointed at Nerea and then made a ‘keep going’
motion with her hand. She was so close.
“The technical term,” explained Maca. Nerea looked lost
then.
“Tribbing,” came Zulema’s voice. It was deep and quiet
and yet the sound made goosebumps form on Maca’s arms.
It was the same tone she used when Macarena knew she
was ‘in the mood’.
“Is that right?” Yolanda asked, looking at Maca.
“Yeah.” She slid off of Rizos and onto the floor, helping the
latter sit up. There was a brief moment that passed between
194
195
killingsaray
Calm down, Maca. It’s just a game. It’s just a game. It’s
just a—.
“Choking!” Yolanda yelled, and thank god she did because
Macarena had been a nanosecond away from lurching
forward and kissing Zulema.
Macarena and Zulema had disappeared after that round.
They were only meant to be gone for ten minutes, but an
hour later, Saray had to trek up to the third floor and knock
on their bedroom door to announce that lunch was ready.
Maca had been on top of Zulema, hips sensually rolling her
soaked pussy square against Zulema’s.
“Coming!” Macarena shouted, and while she had actually
been announcing her orgasm, Saray nodded on the other
side of the door, satisfied and she made her way back
downstairs to the large dining room.
By the time they made it to lunch, everyone else was
practically finished.
It wasn’t their fault, Maca decided.
Sex was one thing. And fucking was another.
But now that Zulema and Macarena had discovered
lovemaking, it was a completely different ballgame. They
got lost in one another; touching, tasting, scratching,
squeezing. Time didn’t matter, and when it was just the two
of them, Macarena and Zulema were beginning to realize
that it was all they wanted.
And it was all they needed.
During that afternoon’s reindeer games, however, Saray
had other plans for them. If she wasn’t getting laid, no one
was.
196
Chapter 19:
El Regalo
“You have my best friend head over heels for you,” Saray
said. She slipped her hands into the pockets of her cuffed
chinos and steered Maca to the left. They walked slowly
down a wooded path. The weather was that of a crisp, fall
day compared to what it should have been in mid-
December. Still, Maca had her hands shoved into the
pockets of her jacket.
“Do I?”
They both gave one another an amused expression as they
continued on the trail. The other guests were on a drunken
scavenger hunt and were meant to return to the cabin with
their treasures in the next half hour. Because Saray had
been the one to hide the prizes, she was automatically
disqualified and had to choose a partner to sit out with.
Naturally, she’d chosen Macarena. It was the perfect
opportunity for Saray to get Macarena alone for an
obligatory ‘if you hurt my best friend, I’ll kill you’ speech.
“I know you see it. Everyone does. You won’t be able to
hide it for much longer.”
“I don’t want to hide it. Hide us. Zulema is incredible.
She’s brilliant and funny and terrifying.”
“But?”
“There’s no but. We just have a couple more months and
then I graduate and we can do whatever we want.”
Saray nodded. “Zulema is as badass as they come. She’s
seen a lot and been through even more. It’s made her
tough.” She rounded Macarena’s left, coming to stand
197
killingsaray
before her. “But she still has feelings, no matter how deeply
she suppresses them.”
Maca’s eyes searched Saray’s. “I would never hurt her, but
I understand that you’re just trying to protect her.”
Saray gazed at Macarena for a few moments longer before
they continued to walk down the path, eventually circling
back to the cabin.
“About you and Rizos, though,” began Maca.
Saray chuckled and reached above her, pulling a leaf off of
a tree. “I know you want to protect her, and I get that too.
But I love her more than life itself. I would die for her, even
if that means dying emotionally while watching her live her
life and be happy with someone that’s not me.”
“That’s not healthy, Saray.”
The tall brunette laughed. “And that is why even therapists
have therapists.”
Maca grinned. “Still, do you think you’ll ever be able to
move on and be happy with someone else?”
Shrugging, Saray twirled the leaf between her fingers.
“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”
“With Nuria?” Macarena asked, teasingly.
“You’re too smart for your own good.”
“And to be so smart, you are such an idiot. You could be
here with her, getting to know her better instead of asking
me to be your partner.”
Blowing air out of her mouth, Saray looked down at the
leaf in her hand and started to pluck the tips off, dropping
them as she went. They cleared the thicket of trees and the
cabin was on the horizon, and they could see that the small
group had congregated on the back patio, holding their
198
199
killingsaray
***
200
***
201
killingsaray
Sunday, 17:30
Their final day at the cabin was to be spent exactly the way
they wanted. So, after breakfast, Zulema and Maca went
back to their room to prepare their clothes for the big
dinner that evening. Then, they hopped back into bed and
just… talked. Well, Maca talked, and Zule listened. She told
Zulema about her plans after graduation, and Zulema spoke
encouraging words into her ear while scratching gently at
Maca’s scalp.
They made love. Showered, together. And got ready
together. Maca helped Zulema pull her dark hair up into an
elegant bun that matched the aesthetic of the hand-painted
couture jacket she wore. Maca slipped into a black dress,
heavy with chiffon and a dramatic split that revealed her
toned legs whenever she took a step. She pinned her golden
hair to the side just in time for Rizos to come barging into
the room asking for Maca’s help with her blue, strapless
dress.
Arriving downstairs was a treat in itself. Saray —and an
incredible staff of ten— had managed to transform the
modest cabin into a winter wonderland while Maca and the
remainder of the guests were off getting ready for dinner.
Faux snow and holiday garland covered in “frost” tastefully
covered the dinner table, chairs, and even the Friendsmas
tree in the corner. The lights were dim and real candles
burned softly, bouncing off of the crystal chinaware and
glass ornaments in the centerpiece. Saray had truly outdone
herself yet again and she beamed with pride as her friends
oohed and ahhed over the beauty of it all.
Dinner was served, the wine was poured and the
conversation flowed effortlessly. Somewhere between their
202
entrée and dessert, Maca had looked around the table at her
friends laughing or enraptured in an interesting
conversation and suddenly understood what her parents
meant when they said that life was about the fun moments
with people that she held dear.
Elbows on the table, hands clasped together and head
tilted to the right as she gazed adoringly at Zulema.
“Qué?” Zulema asked, not bothering to hide her smile.
“Nothing. It’s just nice to see you out of your comfort zone.
You seem different. Happy.”
They both knew she wasn’t going to say it aloud, so
Macarena would just have to be content with the way
Zulema used her eyes to confirm. She sipped from her wine
and then sat the glass back down before reaching into the
pocket of her couture jacket. The raven-haired pulled out a
small, flat gift box wrapped in black wrapping paper.
Tapping it gently to gain Maca’s attention, Zulema slid the
small gift box across the table, nonchalantly. Chin resting in
her palm, her eyes flickered up to gauge Maca’s reaction.
“Zulema, you didn’t have to get me anything.”
“It’s small. Nothing crazy. But I wanted you to have it.”
Zulema raised her brows expectantly so Maca picked it up.
Its lightweight only served to further intrigue Macarena.
She unwrapped the paper to reveal the box inside.
Shimmying off the lid, it was Maca’s turn to raise her brows.
The blonde looked at Zulema and gave her a questioning
look.
“Keys. To my house,” explained Zulema.
Maca’s jaw dropped as she picked up the keyring that held
two keys: one silver and one gold. There was a pure silver
keychain attached, shaped like a tiny silver scorpion.
203
killingsaray
204
Chapter 20:
New Year
205
killingsaray
206
***
207
killingsaray
208
***
209
killingsaray
Friday.
Finally.
It was a special day: Zulema’s birthday.
Maca opened the front door to Zulema’s house with the
key she’d been gifted, balancing two brown paper grocery
bags and Zulema’s delicate gift in her arms. Zulema wasn’t
meant to be home for another hour or so, and by then
Macarena had planned on having dinner cooked and a
romantic table for two on Zulema’s patio ready for when the
birthday girl arrived.
She found her way to the kitchen and placed the groceries
on the island. Her phone became a stereo and she danced
around the kitchen as she started to prep dinner. The sound
of the floor creaking above her made her pause in her
movements. She pressed pause on her phone and then
waited for a beat to see if she would hear it again. Sure
enough, there it was. She checked the time and her brows
furrowed. Zulema’s car hadn’t been in its usual spot in the
driveway when Macarena pulled in.
Up the stairs and down the hall she went to investigate the
source of the noise. The kitchen was under Zulema’s guest
room. Maca had never been inside of it; there was no reason
why she would. When she slept over, she shared Zulema’s
enormous bed, and the only other room that she’d seen
Zulema in was her home office.
The room at the opposite end of the hallway was normally
wide open and the natural light of its bay window usually
shone beautifully in the hallway. The door, however, was
only slightly ajar. She made her way towards it and peeked
inside to find Zulema knelt on the floor with a flowy chiffon
tunic shirt and cropped linen pants. Before her was a large
210
***
211
killingsaray
212
213
killingsaray
Chapter 21:
San Valentin
214
215
killingsaray
216
***
217
killingsaray
“Saray, is there any holiday that you don’t make a big deal
about?” Macarena asked.
“Labor Day,” Saray replied as if it was the most obvious
answer.
Maca snorted.
“Anyway, Zulema has a great idea if you guys are in.”
Macarena looked over at Zulema whose facial expression
gave nothing away. “Zulema Zahir? A secret romantic?” The
corner of Zulema’s mouth twitched upward, but that was all
she would give away.
“Las Moradas de San Martín is having a wine tasting with
a special theme for Valentine’s Day.”
“What’s the theme?” Rizos asked.
“Aphrodisiacs,” Saray grinned at Millán who was sitting
beside her. “Along with the wine, there will be little treats
and meals that are considered aphrodisiacs. So, chocolate,
strawberries, figs, oysters.” She waved a hand as if to say
‘and so on’.
“We’re in,” Rizos said, leaning against Nerea who kissed
her temple.
“Yeah, it sounds like a good time,” Nerea agreed.
“What about you two lovebirds?” Saray inquired,
mischievous eyes dancing between Zulema and Macarena.
While it was hard to distance herself from Zulema on
campus, there was something about having a secret
relationship with one of the most respected professors on
campus that made Maca’s body tingle whenever she and
Zulema were in the same room with other people. But it was
nice to be able to spend time with Zulema in front of their
friends and not worry about their relationship becoming the
above-the-byline story in the campus newspaper.
218
***
219
killingsaray
220
221
killingsaray
222
223
killingsaray
224
“Vale.”
Eventually, it was time to go. They headed to the gravel
parking lot and said their goodbyes before parting ways. As
Zulema sped through the open road, passing lush green
pastures, Macarena couldn’t help but wonder something.
They were fifteen minutes into their hour drive when
Zulema reached over and tugged at the ends of Maca’s hair.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Would you ever get married again?” Maca asked.
The brunette wasn’t opposed to the idea of being married
again. Internally, she acknowledged that she had trauma
that she would eventually have to deal with before she even
considered the possibility of betrothal. Saray tried more
often than not to work her through it, but she hadn’t been
ready. A lot of her resistance stemmed from her lack of
progress in Hanbal’s case. If she couldn’t keep him safe,
what use was it to bring someone else into her world?
It was also why she resisted the idea of love. Still, matter
how hard she tried to keep her feelings for Macarena at bay,
Zulema knew, deep down, that it was time to work through
those issues because whether she liked it or not, she was
falling in love with Macarena Ferreiro.
Zulema didn’t need to tell Macarena how she felt; it was
crystal clear in her actions. The feeling was reciprocated,
but it would be nice to hear. Macarena had her reservations.
She could feel Zulema’s hesitation, so before they even
considered marriage, there were some open and honest
conversations that they would need to have. Besides the
obvious, Maca was working towards her personal goals.
Finals, graduation, and starting her career, to name a few.
Plus, they had yet to argue. Maca’s mother always told her:
225
killingsaray
‘you never truly know a person until you’ve seen the way
they react when they’re angry’.
Zulema shrugged. “I never say never.”
That was good enough for Macarena. Not that she was
thinking about marriage or children. She still had so much
to do, including becoming established in her career.
But… It was nice to know that they were on the same page.
The music that was playing quietly in the background
suddenly cut off and Zulema looked up at her phone and
frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“I keep getting calls from unknown numbers.”
“Who is it?”
Zulema shrugged. “I don’t know. Whenever I answer, it’s
just dead air and then the call ends.”
“Spam call?” I’ve been getting them a lot recently too.”
“Maybe.” Zulema tapped ‘decline’ and the car was once
more filled with tunes. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you want to get married someday?”
“Someday.”
Zulema didn’t say anything else on the topic for the rest of
the trip, and neither did Maca.
226
Chapter 22:
Fixtures
Monday
“Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched?”
The confused faces in the room made the corners of
Zulema’s lips twitch upward.
“Okay, I’m crazy and a bit of a bitch, but I’m not paranoid,”
Zulema joked, and her students visibly relaxed via a round
of laughter as she walked up the stairs of the lecture hall.
“And it’s not a trick question. Have you ever felt like you
were being watched? Maybe while you were sitting in the
campus library?” She chose a row of seats and plopped
down in the aisle seat, placing her right ankle across her left
knee. Her students turned to look at her curiously as she
continued. “Wait, let me ask in a way that you guys would
understand. You’re at a bar—,” the room laughed again,
“and you’re waiting to get a drink. Suddenly, you’re
overwhelmed with the idea that someone is watching you.
Your skin tingles. The little hairs on the back of your neck
stand up. We’ve all been there, right?”
The majority of them nodded in the affirmative and
Zulema smiled. “Usually, we dismiss it as a gut instinct or
paranoia, but it’s much more than that. Research shows
that the eyes take in information beyond what is processed
by the part of our brain that’s responsible for the conscious
vision and mapping out our view of the world.”
“The visual cortex,” someone behind Zulema interjected.
Zulema pointed over her shoulder. “Exactly. That
combined with the part of the brain that prompts our sense
227
killingsaray
228
prison experiment, look out for emails this week about the
status of your application. Class dismissed.”
***
Thursday
Macarena slammed her shot glass down a one-third of a
second after Zulema, and the brunette grinned as she
chased the tequila with beer.
“My turn,” Zulema announced. “Truth or shot?”
Maca looked at the bottle of tequila. There was less than a
fourth of the amber liquid left and she wasn’t sure she could
take anymore. Zulema, however, was handling her liquor
very well.
Game night had ended an hour ago and their friends had
left, leaving Maca and Zulema to clean up. Except they’d
gotten as far as cleaning up the board games before Maca
challenged Zulema to a game of truth or dare. Not to be
outdone, Zulema upped the ante by replacing dares with a
shot of tequila.
“Truth,” Maca answered.
“Best sex of your life, and the worst sex of your life. Go.”
“Best sex is you. Worst sex,” Maca thought hard about it.
“Oh god, probably my first time.”
“I need details.”
Maca scrunched her nose in disgust. “Carlos Morales. We
were seventeen and I just remember he breathed loudly and
it was over in five minutes.”
“I bet Carlos now has two annoying little brats and a wife
that makes him schedule sex so she can mentally prepare
herself,” Zulema joked.
229
killingsaray
Maca leaned over the coffee table like she had a good
secret to tell. “He sent me a friend request on Facebook.
Should we find out?”
Zulema leaned forward too. “The question is why haven’t
we already, rubía.”
Macarena pulled up the app on her phone and it took a few
moments of scrolling through the political posts and the
annoying game invites, but eventually, there it was. The
family photo. Carlos, his wife, and their two brats.
“Double or nothing that he’s posted at least one
“Loser takes a shot?”
“Yeah and has to sleep in the wet spot tonight.”
Macarena’s head shot up and her jaw dropped. Zulema
and that fucking smirk. “You won’t be getting laid until I
hear who your best sex and worst sex was.”
“Can there be a tie for best sex?”
Maca’s shocked expression became more exaggerated. “Yo
y quien mas?”
“Hanbal.”
Maca looked up at the ceiling, tossing her hands up in
disbelief. “Damn you, Hanbal!”
Zulema laughed. “Apples and oranges though.”
“Por supuesto,” Maca agreed.
“So, best lesbian sex goes to you.”
“Vale,” Maca chuckled. “I’ll take it. Worst sex?”
Zulema grinned and looked down at the coffee table,
rubbing her fingertip against a non-existent smudge.
“I know them, don’t I?”
Zulema nodded. “Helena.”
Macarena burst out into laughter and couldn’t stop herself
no matter how hard she tried.
230
***
Friday
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it was important,” Maca
heard Zulema say as the front door to her apartment
opened and closed. Zulema appeared, holding a brown
paper grocery bag in one hand and her laptop in the other
while balancing the phone between her right shoulder and
ear. Maca stood from the couch and took the groceries from
her, heading to the kitchen.
231
killingsaray
232
233
killingsaray
234
235
killingsaray
Chapter 23:
When A Stranger Calls
Saturday
“Hand here. Bueno. Support under here with the other
one. Muy bien. Now push and pull with the same force.”
Zulema instructed as she adjusted Maca’s hands. “Perfect.
Feet shoulder-width apart. Right foot slightly behind the
left. Beautiful.” She placed Maca’s noise-canceling
headphones over her ears and then took a few steps back.
“Don’t tuck your chin. This gun is different from the earlier
two. It’s semi-automatic so the shell casings will
automatically eject from the chamber and you don’t want
one popping you in the eye.”
Maca lifted her head.
“Good girl.”
Oh.
“On your ready,” Zulema told her.
Maca inhaled, closing her eyes briefly and opened them as
she exhaled. She held her stance, lined the barrel up with
her target, and nodded her head. A buzzer sounded and the
red light above her head turned green.
Her pointer finger gently squeezed the trigger. The muffled
gunshot sounded through Maca’s headphones and she felt
the vibrations from the recoil radiate along the course of her
arms. Twice more she fired, each time going for the head
and the heart of the outlined figure printed on stock paper.
She placed the gun down on the waist-high counter and
pulled her headphones down to rest around her neck and
pressed the button to bring her target sheet closer.
236
237
killingsaray
***
238
***
Monday
“Does. Profiling. Actually. Work?” That was how Zulema
started class. She paced in front of her desk before rounding
239
killingsaray
it. Tapping the spacebar on her laptop, the smart board lit
up, revealing a graph.
Zulema’s arm raised to point at the starting point in the
graph. “In 2011, CNI’s closure rate began to steadily rise.
This was the year that the Behavioral Analysis Unit was
established here in Spain. By 2015, their closing rate went
from fifty-eight percent to ninety-two percent. There were
only ten of us in the unit then.”
“Espera, profesora.” A hand went up in the back. “These
are your stats?”
Zulema shrugged. “It was a team effort, but yes. Now,
there are—.”
“Disculpe, but why did it drop to seventy-six percent
between 2015 and 2017?”
She left, Maca thought.
“Our unit lost a member and then I took a teaching job
here at MU.” Zulema smiled softly and pointed to the board
again. “The point is, you will get push back from people,
even fellow law enforcement agents, that believe profiling is
nothing but guesswork. It’s your job to believe in what you
do, and the numbers will speak for themselves.” She shut
her laptop and the screen went blank. “Vale, clear your
desks and separate yourselves by at least two seats. Your
midterm starts when everyone has an exam in their hands.”
She handed a stack of exams to the person at the front of
each row and they distributed them until everyone had a
copy.
“You have two hours. Make me proud.”
***
240
Prisoner #02.643
241
killingsaray
242
243
killingsaray
Chapter 24:
Prison Wives, Pt. 1
Friday
Experiment Day One
It was just barely after nine a.m., Maca hadn’t even
finished her coffee when it was seized from her hands by a
uniformed officer the moment they arrived in front of the
criminal justice building. A row of police cars lined the
parking lot, two stoic officers per car, awaiting their turn to
arrest their perpetrators.
“Macarena Ferreiro, you are under arrest for crimes
against the Crown…”
“Estefanía Kabila, you are under arrest for crimes against
the Crown…”
“Yolanda Montero, you are under arrest for crimes against
the Crown...”
Maca’s eyes met Rizos’ and they gave one another a look as
their hands were pulled behind their backs and their wrists
were bound together with handcuffs.
“Kinky,” Rizos commented cheekily, and Maca stifled a
snort of laughter.
As she was read her rights and placed in the rear of a
squad car along with her weekender bag, Macarena watched
as more future prisoners were arrested. Not long after the
final person was read their rights, Zulema, Saray, and Maria
appeared through the door of the criminal justice building
and stood on the steps speaking amongst themselves. A few
moments later, they were joined by Helena and two other
professors that were familiar to Maca. They were in good
244
245
killingsaray
Once she had been processed and given her uniforms and
a moist towelette to wipe the ink from her fingertips, Maca
heard the sexiest voice raise to command the entire room.
“Alright, inmates to the right and guards to the left!”
Zulema called out.
“Zule,” Saray said. Clipboard in hand, she waved the
brunette over and pointed to the paperwork on it. Zulema
looked up, brows furrowed. She scanned the line of
prisoners and guards before glancing at the list once more.
“Vale, we’re two prisoners short so I’ll play one.” Zulema
looked at Saray, expectantly.
“Joder, Zulema,” Saray groaned, eyes reaching the
heavens. “Fine. I’ll be a prisoner.”
“Antonio?”
Professor Palacios made his way over to Zulema and the
three of them whispered amongst themselves for a moment.
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, once everyone has their
uniforms, you’ll be taken to the bathrooms to change. There
are six toilet stalls in each bathroom and eight shower stalls.
You will be able to use the showers and toilets at any time of
the day. For now, you’ll use them to change into your
uniforms and then meet in the main hallway where you’ll be
shown to your cells by the guards. Once in your cells, you
will see a folder on your assigned bunks. Do not let anyone
else see the contents of your folder. It not only contains
your itinerary for the weekend, but it also includes the
characteristics you will portray. Any questions so far?”
A couple of hands went up. Palacios pointed to one
student.
“Do we get our one phone call?”
246
“You wanna call your mommy and tell her you’re about to
be my bitch?” Rizos teased.
The entire room broke out into laughter, including the
student who asked the question.
“We aren’t taking your cell phones, but we are asking that
you do not post anything about the experiment. Selfies are
okay,” Palacios answered. “Any other questions?”
Rizos’ hand went up.
“I’m terrified to know, but yes Estefanía?”
“Do we get conjugal visits?”
“If you ask nicely, maybe I’ll think about it,” Saray replied.
A round of “ooo”s made a wave around the room and Rizos
rolled her eyes.
“Any other serious questions?”
“Are the cells coed?”
“Girls dorms will be to the left and guys dorms will be on
the right. You’ll be able to do as you please once everything
on your daily itinerary is checked off.”
Zulema spoke up next. “If that’s all, I’d like you all to give
the Madrid Police Academy’s recruits a round of applause
for their incredible service today. Not only did some of you
get to see what it felt like to be brought into booking, but
they have also received practice as well.”
The room clapped and those closest to the doors shook
hands with the officers as they were dismissed.
Zulema and Saray were issued inmate uniforms and then
they were off.
The bathrooms weren’t half as bad as Macarena thought
they’d be. They looked as if they belonged in the Bank of
Spain or the royal palace instead of a makeshift prison
setting. This, Macarena realized, must have been a
247
killingsaray
248
249
killingsaray
onto the small metal desk that separated the bunks and
opened her file folder. Maca climbed onto the top bunk and
opened her own. A few minutes of silence went by as they
took in the information that they would need.
“So, basically I’m a whore, Maca muttered to herself.
“Sounds about right,” quipped Rizos without looking up
from her file.
“Hey!” Maca laughed.
Rizos held her file to her chest and looked up at Maca. “I
just realized that we’ve never had a slumber party. This is
gonna be fun.”
Maca chuckled. “Only you would think prison could be the
perfect setting for a slumber party.”
“I wish Luna was here. She’d party with me.”
“Yeah, why isn’t she here? I thought she was so excited
about this.”
Rizos shrugged. “I don’t know. She probably didn’t meet
the academic requirements to participate.”
“She does like to party.”
“Speaking of partying,” Rizos said hopping off of the desk
and crossing the room to open her bag, “what would a
prison slumber party be without some hooch?” She pulled
out an unopened bottle of tequila and grinned wickedly.
“Rizos!” Maca gasped, eyes wide. “You can’t have alcohol
here!”
“Says who? Prisoners get alcohol into prison all the time.”
“I’m going to pretend I don’t see that bottle,” Zulema’s
voice came from the entrance to their cell. She stood before
them, hands in the pockets of her uniform pants, one brow
cocked. Rizos tucked the bottle back into her bag and
zipped it closed. “You’ll be meeting in the rec hall for the
250
***
251
killingsaray
***
The rest of the day was spent doing mundane things. Now
and again, a guard would come and take an inmate to be
interrogated. Maca read and finished some homework
assignments that were due the following week. She left her
252
cell to study the dry-erase board that was left in the center
of the common room and then she was called to go and
serve dinner.
After dinner, their unit was called for the showers and by
eight p.m., it was lights out.
Some time in the middle of the night, Maca jolted awake
from a horrible nightmare filled with black SUVs and slit
throats and prison gates slamming loudly only to find a
shadowed figure slipping into the door of her cell. She
craned her neck and strained her eyesight to see in the dark.
It was Zulema.
She walked closer to her bunk, finger pressed to her lips,
signaling for Maca to keep quiet, climbed up the ladder to
Maca’s bed, and slipped under the covers that the blonde
held up for her.
“I’m pretty sure this is against the rules,” whispered Maca.
“It’s a good thing I make the rules then, no?” Zulema
responded.
Maca made a tching noise.
“If you don’t want me here, I can—.” Zulema sat up,
pretending to leave.
Maca sat up quickly and tugged at her arm, whining, “No!”
She looked over at Rizos to make sure she hadn’t woken her
up.
Zulema grinned and laid back down beside her girlfriend,
pulling her close.
“I had a bad dream.”
Zulema pulled Maca closer to her and nuzzled her neck.
Maca turned around in Zulema’s arms until they were face
to face and brought her hand up to trail down Zulema’s
nose. The brunette chuckled.
253
killingsaray
***
Saturday
Experiment Day Two
“I heard your girlfriend sneak in last night,” Rizos said,
waggling her brows at Macarena. She sat on the bottom
bunk, massage hand cream around her palms after having
just come back from being “interrogated”.
Maca sighed. “I’m glad she did, I had the worst dream last
night.”
“What about?”
Maca told Rizos about her dream. “You ever have that
feeling of dread that gets stuck right in the middle of your
chest. Like the dream is telling you that something bad is
about to happen?”
“Sometimes,” Rizos admitted. “It’s just a dream, Maca.
Nothing bad is going to happen.”
Maca shrugged and Rizos scoffed.
“What could happen when you have el elfo del puto
infierno as a girlfriend?”
That made Maca laugh. “That’s true.”
254
255
killingsaray
256
Chapter 25:
Te Veo Pronto
257
killingsaray
258
Zulema,
259
killingsaray
260
***
261
killingsaray
had invited her out to see Saray DJ. She wrapped her arms
around Rizos who started to sob uncontrollably. Standing to
her feet, Maca pulled Rizos up and out of the room for
maximum privacy. Saray made eye contact with Zulema,
who nodded. They’d decided that Saray should be the one to
tell Rizos about Nerea being in the hospital. She could
comfort Rizos better than anyone else. Not to mention,
Rizos would surely want to leave to go to the hospital and
Saray would take her.
“For those of you who didn’t know her, Tere is,” Zulema
paused, “was a graduate student in her final year of her
master’s program. She has a husband and two kids, a boy
and a girl and there will be a donation collection circulating
in the Law Library.”
Zulema gave them an empowered speech about sticking
together in a time like this. She reminded them that there
were grief counselors available to them via phone as well as
the school’s online portal.
“Once we have word that the campus has been cleared, you
will all be allowed to leave here. We’ll have campus shuttles
to take you guys back to the Criminal Justice building
parking lot where your cars are. If you guys need anything,
do not be afraid to reach out. This is a tough time for all of
us. We must hold one another up in this difficult time.”
A loud sobbing wail echoed through the faux prison and
Zulema’s eyes closed briefly.
Rizos.
She was going through something that would take a piece
of her heart forever. Her good friend had been murdered
and her fiancée was in the hospital. Zulema didn’t have to
imagine how she felt.
262
She knew.
And she felt for Rizos. Deeply. It was no secret that Rizos
was a party animal, but she was still a good person when it
came down to it. And Zulema wished she could turn back
time so that she never had to deal with this.
It’s my fault, Zulema thought, if I never met Maca… never
fell in love with her, I would have never taken my eye off of
the goal. And Tere would still be alive.
And now he, whoever the fuck he was, wanted to go after
Macarena. Zulema couldn’t let that happen. Wouldn’t. If
anything happened to Macarena, Zulema would die.
So, she resolved right then and there that she would do
whatever she had to to keep Macarena safe.
263
killingsaray
Chapter 26:
Sparring Partners
Friday, 13:00
Tere’s funeral was heartbreaking. Macarena held Rizos
closely as Rizos shed silent tears behind dark sunglasses.
Zulema sat in the row behind Maca and Rizos with Saray by
her side. She never did well in churches, always felt like God
was judging her. The day of Tere’s funeral was no different.
Zulema thought that maybe God was judging her today.
Condemning her to watch as Tere’s family and friends
sobbed uncontrollably at the open casket. Telling her that
the little voice in the back of her head that said Tere’s blood
was on her hands might be true. They lined up to say their
final goodbyes to Tere and when it had been Zulema’s turn,
she steeled her features, touched Tere’s white casket gently,
and silently promised her that she wouldn’t stop until she
found the man that took Tere away from her beautiful
family.
As per Tere’s final wishes, there was a celebration of life at
the park where she would take her children every weekend.
There was a lake where her husband’s family had set up
food and drinks. It wasn’t long before Saray turned the
somber affair into a true celebration with a song. She
started acapella and as her voice grew in strength, other
people joined in. Eventually, guitars were brought out and
Zulema watched as Tere’s friends and family became
stronger and closer as they shared funny anecdotes and
incredible stories about the woman who had made such an
impact on their lives.
264
265
killingsaray
the case that had become the very bane of her existence.
The time apart was equal parts welcomed and filled with
anxiety. When Macarena was at the hospital with Rizos, she
felt safer knowing that she was at least protected by the
guards planted outside of Nerea’s room. But when
Macarena was elsewhere: running errands, going home, or
to Rizos’ to shower and sleep, Zulema was filled with a
sense of dread that something would happen to her.
She needed to finish this, once and for all before anyone
else she loved got hurt.
***
266
267
killingsaray
268
269
killingsaray
270
***
Sunday, 15:11
Maca was sparring in the ring when Zulema arrived at the
boxing gym. She looked determined. Focused. Zulema
watched for a few moments as Macarena ducked her
opponent’s attack and pivoted to the right while attacking
with a left jab to their ribs. They seemed to be having a good
time, Maca’s opponent laughed at something Maca said and
they danced apart before coming back together in a series of
impressive combinations. A recorded bell sounded
somewhere and Zulema watched as they tapped gloves and
both turned to exit the ring. Maca spotted Zulema and her
271
killingsaray
surprise was evident. She pulled off her gloves, spit out her
mouthguard.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just wanted to talk to you about something.”
And it can’t wait? Maca wanted to ask. But she realized
that if Zulema had come all of this way to the gym, then
whatever she had to say must be important. So she climbed
out of the ring and started towards the only quiet corner in
the gym just beside the punching bag.
“So, what’s up?” Maca asked.
“I’ve been reinstated at the CNI.”
Macarena looked confused. “Okay, what does that mean
exactly?”
“I’ll still be teaching at MU but I’ll be splitting my time
between there and the intelligence bureau. I’m gonna be
busy these next few months and I just wanted you to know.”
“Will you have to travel?”
“Maybe, but not often,” Zulema admitted. Macarena
nodded and poked a finger against the punching bag.
“I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of annoyed that you didn’t talk
to me about it first.”
“It’s something I have to do. Tere died. Nerea is in a
coma.”
“Exactly!” Macarena said. “Tere is dead. Nerea is lying in a
hospital bed and the doctors are telling Rizos that they don’t
know what kind of quality of life she’ll have if she does wake
up! Zulema, you’re throwing yourself into the lion’s den by
becoming an agent again. You don’t have to be everyone’s
savior.”
Zulema sighed. “You’re picking a fight.”
272
273
killingsaray
Chapter 27:
I Love You
274
275
killingsaray
toe and when Maca came, the only thing she could think
was--.
Fuck, I love you.
***
276
Zulema,
277
killingsaray
***
278
279
killingsaray
280
281
killingsaray
***
282
Macarena,
I understand your resistance to attending my course, but
the final exam is quickly approaching and I would prefer it
if you were here to be fully prepared for it. Please note in
your syllabus that your attendance in my class is required,
not optional, Zulema had written.
283
killingsaray
284
Chapter 28:
I’m In
285
killingsaray
286
***
Finals flew by, and before Macarena knew it, it was Friday
when she realized that things seemed to be getting back to
normal.
She and Rizos had just finished dress shopping for the
commencement dinner and graduation day and were sitting
down for a quick coffee, and a light lunch for Rizos, before
their hair appointments when Rizos sighed heavily.
“You’ve been having an excellent week, and I don’t want to
bring your mood down, but I have something for you. It’s
from Zulema.”
Maca took a sip of her water and nodded slowly. “Okay.
What is it?”
Rizos reached into her bag and pulled out two envelopes,
one sealed and one unsealed. One had her name on it and
its flap was tucked inside. The other was stamped with a
black ‘Z’ wax seal and addressed to the Centro Nacional de
287
killingsaray
Maca,
288
I love you,
Zulema
***
289
killingsaray
290
***
“Hi.”
291
killingsaray
292
293
killingsaray
and Maca still heard it. Her eyes flickered up to look at the
brunette.
Eat, she mouthed at Macarena. Zulema cut into her
asparagus and placed it into her mouth and Maca rolled her
eyes but followed suit.
Maca told herself that she was only doing it because she
was hungry, not to appease Zulema. Her brows rose as if to
ask “Satisfied?”
And there it was.
That fucking smirk that always made Macarena weak in
the knees.
Just as she was about to roll her eyes again, Professor
Palacios tapped Miranda on the shoulder and nodded
towards the stage. She excused herself from the table and
the men stood at the same time she did, ever the gentlemen.
Her date, Maca can’t remember his name now, pulled his
phone out of his suit jacket, and as Miranda got onto the
stage and addressed the crowd, he typed away. It wasn’t
until she finished her speech, wishing the graduate students
luck on their future endeavors and the crowd stood to their
feet, that he even bothered to show interest. He stood as
well, clapping as if he’d listened to anything she said. Maca
didn’t know why but she was annoyed with him. It didn’t
help that even when Miranda returned to the table, he
continued to chat with everyone else, paying particular
attention to Zulema when she spoke up.
Not that Maca could blame him. Zulema was beautiful and
ridiculously learned; everything she said enchanted the
table as she gracefully toed the line between charismatic
professional and provocative humor. Carlos, as Miranda
called him, challenged some of Zulema’s insights but she
294
295
killingsaray
Chapter 29
Celebrations and Revelations
Graduation Day
Fucking graduation day. Ever since she was a little girl, she
knew she would be successful. Her family always was. They
supported one another and they worked hard. At the end of
the day, however, they loved each other for who they were,
and that was the most important thing.
Love.
Pfft, Macarena scoffed internally, what a fucking scam.
She stretched her body, her muscles relieved of the tension
that only came with being curled up in the fetal position all
night, squeezing a pillow for dear life. Macarena sat up and
tapped a finger against her phone screen to see the clock.
06:48, it read.
Sighing, she decided she was better off getting up and
starting her morning routine rather than staying in bed in a
futile attempt to rest. She unplugged her phone from its
charger and brought it to the bathroom with her to listen to
music.
Maca rested her hip against the counter and scrolled
through her playlist, every song felt too slow or too sad. She
needed something to distract her from the fact that even
though it was her day to celebrate her accomplishments, all
Macarena could think about was a certain brunette.
She wasted a little time, scrolling through her social media
accounts, pausing when she saw that Zulema was online.
Tapping on her account, Maca scrolled through the
brunette’s pictures. When that wasn’t enough, she sat on
296
***
07:33
Not far away, Zulema had yet to sleep. She, Alta, and the
team had spent the night at their headquarters planning an
elaborate, ingenious way to draw out their unsub from
wherever he was. Zule hadn’t gotten home until nearly three
in the morning, and even then, she knew she wouldn’t sleep.
Her thoughts were too loud; they shouted Macarena’s name
and screamed that Zulema was an idiot for letting her go
297
killingsaray
298
***
299
killingsaray
300
history and change its course’. You are that generation for
me. I’m not worried about you. I am worried about the
people that try to stand between you and your destiny.
Congratulations, Madrid University class of 2021! You did
it!”
The family and friends in the audience stood to their feet
in applause and the graduates jumped up and tossed their
caps in the air in celebration of their accomplishments.
Maca turned around and spotted Rizos who was moving the
folding chairs in an attempt to get to her. They met in the
middle and gathered one another into a tight embrace with
smiles that hurt their cheeks.
“We did, rubía. I had doubts that you would make it,”
joked Rizos.
Maca snorted. “Yeah because I’m the one you should’ve
been worried about.”
“Hey, where are your parents? I want to say hi.”
“That’s a good question.”
They both turned and started to look for their families in
the sea of bodies. Maca’s mom was waving at her in the
stands and Maca smiled, waving back. She pulled on Rizos’s
arm, grabbing her attention. “There’s my mom.”
Pushing their way through the graduates, faculty, and
families, the pair finally made it to Maca’s mom in the
stands.
“Congratulations, girls!” Encarna pulled Maca into a tight
embrace first and then Rizos. Rizos had been around Maca
during plenty of FaceTime calls, and the brunette’s outgoing
personality charmed Encarna. She was happy that Maca
had found a great friend and somehow, Encarna knew that
Rizos would become more like family.
301
killingsaray
***
302
fact that Rizos had a twin who was her complete opposite
when she felt Román nudge her shoulder. She looked at him
and then in the direction that he jutted his chin.
“Dr. Zahir, it’s so good to see you!” Román called to the
woman passing by their table. She stopped abruptly and
turned, eyes immediately landing on the one member of the
Ferreiro-Kabila clan, and it certainly was not Román.
“Mr. Ferreiro, always a pleasure. How are things at the
CNI?”
“Amazing. I wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for you, so
thank you. I heard you returned as a supervisory special
agent?”
Maca squirmed in her seat and Zulema’s eyes flickered to
her and back to Román as she answered, “Just for a case.
My ‘one that got away’, so to speak.”
“You’ll get ‘em,” he replied.
“Sooner rather than later, I hope,” Zulema admitted
conversationally, “these cases take so much time and I’m
ready to get back to the things I care about.” Her gaze
shifted back to Macarena.
Fuck, Maca thought, she looks so good. Macarena could
feel her body reacting to Zulema’s presence. It brought her
back to a time where she and Zulema were a secret from
even their friends. The thrill she used to get from being
around the brunette knowing that in a few hours, she would
be getting destroyed by Zulema Zahir. The nostalgia pulled
at her nipples until they were hardened points, noticeable in
her white dress. She crossed her legs in an attempt to ease
the ache in the part of her body that missed Zulema just as
much as Maca’s heart did. She pressed a hand to her chest,
303
killingsaray
304
305
killingsaray
306
Chapter 30:
And So It Begins…
307
killingsaray
she liked it or not, Zulema was stuck with her. And with that
thought, she entered the club with her tribe.
They hit the bar first and then Rizos led the girls to the
dance floor to celebrate. But also to celebrate their friend,
Tere, who, although she didn’t make it to the end, was
always in their hearts.
Up in the DJ booth, Zulema stood with Saray, who was
showing her a new mix on the MacBook screen. Zulema
liked DJing but she still had a lot to learn from her best
friend.
“Oye, the girls are out there!” Saray pointed out. Zulema
followed her finger to where Maca, Rizos, Luna, and
Yolanda were grooving to the music.
“I love her,” Zulema told Saray. She watched Macarena
jumping up and down in the crowd, hands in the air, and a
carefree smile on her face. It was the first time in a long
while that Zulema had seen that look on her face.
“Que?” Saray replied, cupping her hand around her ear.
Zulema smirked. She knew that Saray had heard her
perfectly well. Still, the older brunette turned to Saray and
shouted, “I love her!”
Saray wrapped an arm around Zule’s neck, pulling her
close. “So fucking tell her. You’re not just breaking your
own heart being away from her, you’re breaking your own.”
Zulema made a move to hop off the stage, but she was held
back but Saray’s hand on her shoulder. “Not so fast,
morocha,” she called over the music, “I believe there’s a bet
that we need to settle.”
Saray turned a few knobs on the mixing board and then
scratched at the vinyl and in moments, one song melded
gracefully into another and the crowd went nuts. She
308
309
killingsaray
song, Zulema felt a tap on her ankle. She looked down to see
Macarena Ferreiro looking up at her in awe. Zulema
crouched down, then let her legs drop over the side of the
bar as she hopped down.
“You’re crazy!” Maca told her.
Zulema smiled. “The things we do for love, no?”
“That was amazing,” the male bartender that Maca
remembered as Valbuena interrupted. “Name your poison!
It’s on the house!”
“Whiskey double, neat,” Zulema replied, and then nodded
at Macarena, “and a patrón piedra for the blonde.”
“You got it.” He tapped the bar and set to work making
their drinks.
“I thought I told you that you don’t have to get me drunk.
I’m a sure thing.”
Zulema chuckled at that and their drinks were set before
them. She picked it up, toasted the bartender in thanks, and
then took a deep pull from it. The brunette prayed she
would find the strength to keep her hands from pulling at
the hem of Macarena’s slinky little gold, halter dress at the
bottom of her drink.
It didn’t help that Maca’s front was practically pressed
against Zulema’s side.
Maca leaned over, mouth near Zulema’s ear, she shouted
over the music, “I know about the threats!”
Zulema pulled back in surprise, and her eyes searched
Macarena’s face.
“How?” Zulema shouted back.
“I can’t reveal my criminal informant.”
Zulema exhaled a chuckle and shook her head.
Fucking Rizos.
310
311
killingsaray
312
where she was. Maca rubbed the back of her head as she sat
up and she felt something wet. Pulling her hand away, she
saw her fingers were covered in blood.
“Shit. You’re bleeding.” She pushed the front tail of her
shirt to the side and pulled her phone from the tiny shorts
underneath and dialed a number.
“Who are you calling?” Maca asked.
“Foxtrot, Charlie, Oscar, Lima,” Zulema said into the
phone, “zero-seven-three-one.”
“That sounds like a license plate,” Alta said.
“It is. Find the owner.”
“Can I ask why?”
“Because they tried to kill me and my goddamned
girlfriend! Just do it, and call me back!” Zulema hung up
and pulled Maca towards her. “We have to get you to a
hospital.”
“What? No, I’m fine,” Maca negated.
“You’re not fine. You’re bleeding. You may need stitches
and you could have a possible concussion.” Zulema told her.
“And I need you to pop my arm back into its socket.”
“What?!”
Zulema mustered up just enough energy to roll her eyes.
“Come here. Put your hand here.” She pointed to her
shoulder and Maca did as she was told. “I know you can grip
tighter than that, conejIta, come on,” she joked, her head
lolling back against the bumper on the car behind her.
“Zulema, this isn’t funny.”
“Come on,” urged Zulema. “Tighter.”
Maca tightened her grip on Zulema’s shoulder and she
watched in horror as Zulema twisted her body on an angle
using her body weight and Maca’s resistance to shove her
313
killingsaray
shoulder back into place. The brunette cursed the night sky
and then took a few deep breaths.
“Venga,” Zulema said and pushed off of the car. She
struggled to her feet and then helped Macarena up and into
the car.
Zulema started the engine, whipping the car out of the
parking spot with ease, and as she sped down the street
towards the hospital, she reached over and pulled Maca’s
hand into her own.
“We’re gonna end this, Zulema,” Maca said. There was a
promise in her voice that Zulema didn’t know she needed to
hear. But somehow Maca knew.
Y una promesa es una promesa.
314
315
killingsaray
316
For The Crime Of Love
Special Thanks:
317
killingsaray
318