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Chapter 1
Source: Translate Addict
Clean everything up and leave a note, and no one will doubt it was
a suicide. Making it all tidy. That’s the important part.
#OP My target then was a girl with nervous eyes. This ended up
being my final job.
She was slender and fair-skinned, always kept her gaze low, and
had a very restrained laugh.
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I had killed others without hesitating, hadn’t I?
Not that there was anything of note out there. A bus stop, a
Lawson store, a drug store, a Joyce. A tacky billboard for Bon Curry
stood out most. Overall, a typical rural landscape.
#OP I attempted to move the target’s hand. The pen felt unusually
large, which was mostly because her hand was so small.
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people don’t even notice that.
#OP The lecture ended, and lunch break began. I took over the
target’s body again. This is when things would really begin.
I could make her sigh often, or eat little, or say unusual things.
By doing this, the people around her could be convinced that there
were “signs” of a suicide, making the possibility reality.
But no one came to speak with her. Or even looked her way, for
that matter.
Pupils from the same class would have nothing to say but “She
was always a shy girl…” She would be categorized as an
“other.”
#OP I let her be for a little while. I had nothing to do, after all.
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Even without my interference, the target would play the part of
“someone who might commit suicide.” I temporarily stopped
controlling her.
#OP I woke up and checked up on the target. Her last class had
just ended, and she left the room earlier than anyone else.
She didn’t go to any clubs. She put in earbuds for a Walkman and
headed straight home.
When she came home and entered her room, I took over her body
again. I observed the room through her own eyes.
#OP I was at a loss for a moment. My job was to put her things in
order, but there was nothing. Literally nothing in the room besides a
bare minimum of furniture and some textbooks.
#OP Depending on the person, this part of the job could take as
long as five hours even for someone with my experience. But for this
girl, it was over in two minutes.
The only trash around was bottles of alcohol, stuffed away in her
lowest drawer. I started to put them into a bag, but thinking about it,
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leaving them around felt more befitting of a suicide. So I put them
back where they were.
#OP The one trace of personality I could find was a mess of CDs on
her shelves, as well as a CD player and headphones to listen to
them.
These, too, felt appropriate to have in the room, so I left them be.
#OP It was the first time the job had been so easy. It felt like I was
merely setting a table.
#OP I put the note in her pocket and was about to leave the
house.
She moved her mouth to say “Wait.” In forcing it open, she cut
her lip and it started to bleed.
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I was surprised, but also relieved. Things had been going almost
disgustingly well.
#OP The target said this: “I want you to make a little change
to the note.”
#OP Instead of speaking myself, I had the girl say: “What do you
mean?” An observer would have seen her talking to herself.
She replied. “Will you change “It’s all pointless, I’m killing
myself” for me?”
“Why?”
“I want people to think “It’s for the best that she died.” If
that’s possible…”
#OP I was quiet for a while, but figured it couldn’t hurt. I modified
the note as she instructed.
It seemed the job was to end without her even pleading for her
life. What on earth was this girl thinking?
#OP Was it possible this girl was intending to commit suicide from
the start?
She’d totally cleaned out her room, she knew what she’d want in
her suicide note. Weren’t those things independent of my
interference?
If this was true, all I was doing was killing a suicidal girl who
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already wished for death herself.
#OP The town was unusually hilly. With all the stairs and slopes,
not many people rode bikes. There were many steep inclines, and
many winding roads on top of that.
I had her walk endlessly through this place, on feet so delicate they
might break if she tripped.
#OP Crickets chirped through the terribly humid night. The girl
soon started to sweat.
Pain ran through the arches of her feet and calves. She felt it with
every step I made her take. She couldn’t even look up.
#OP By the time she was getting unbearably thirsty, I gave her
control in front of a vending machine. She had only some change
with her.
The point of this was to have her buy and drink something of her
own volition.
Even still, the weariness kept building. The pain kept getting
worse. She continued getting hungrier.
#OP After walking eight hours, the target finally arrived at her
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destination.
Moved beyond her limits, she collapsed on the spot. I placed her
body on a chair I had prepared.
#OP The target looked back and asked me: “By the way, will
you kill me or not?”
We staggered down the spiral stairs. I opened the car door and
got inside when I was struck with an incredible drowsiness.
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I was unable to resist sleep, so I decided to take a ten-minute nap
and then set out. I fell asleep in the middle of setting the alarm on
my phone.
#OP I woke up feeling warm. The light of sunrise was shining into
the car.
Looking to my left, I saw the girl sleeping. I opened the door, got
out, and washed my face at a fountain under the platform.
I was sweating all over, so I went back to the car to get a towel.
Just then, the target woke up, and looked at me drowsily.
#OP While we wiped our sweat with the wet towel, I pondered how
I should begin explaining myself.
The dry wind was pleasant and refreshing. The target pulled off
her shoes and socks and washed her feet.
Usually the target would be asking something by now, but this girl
hadn’t said anything for some time. I was just about to give up.
#OP The target spread out her arms and opened her hands.
“Drop me, hang me, do whatever you want.”
Water dripped from her hair, and her wet hands and feet gleamed.
I didn’t care for that. “Oh, I’ll kill you soon. In a very terrible
way.”
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#OP We got a good breakfast, and I took the target to school.
The target typically came late and wanted me to delay her going to
class, so she actually arrived earlier than usual. She got out of the
car, looked back at me, bowed slightly, and walked away.
#OP I had my own first period class to get to, but there was
something to be done before that.
I closed my eyes and imagined the target’s face. She had just
entered the classroom.
The target was opening the door quietly so as not to draw any
attention. However, a group near the door looked her way to see
who was coming in.
Just then, the target’s face suddenly brightened, and she greeted
them. “Morning!” Naturally, this was my doing.
The target’s face turned a deep red. She couldn’t help being
embarrassed by it. She was fine with dying, but didn’t like having
her greeting ignored.
#OP At lunch, the target tossed Calorie Mates into her mouth. She
put in her earbuds and started to study, so I took control and
removed them.
By just putting in those earbuds, she was making herself look like
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someone who’s given up on communicating.
#OP Once all her classes were over, the target left the classroom
sooner than anyone else. Usually she left calmly, but today she was
in a hurry.
I took over her body and began tidying up her room once more.
#OP Her lowest drawer was filled with whiskey. Cutty Sark,
Johnnie Walker Red, Ancient Clan.
I didn’t know where she had gotten it, but I drained the bottles –
likely to be the girl’s best friends – down the sink.
#OP According to the girl’s schedule, now would have been a good
time for her to lie down on her bed and listen to music. Instead, I put
the bottles in a vinyl bag, placed it back in the drawer, and had her
leave the house.
But I wouldn’t have her walk eight hours straight this time. After
about ten minutes, she arrived at her destination, the park.
I had her sit on one of two swings. Naturally, I was sitting on the
other.
#OP The sky was gloomy, and sunset was approaching. I gave the
target the flowerpot I was holding. “What’s this?”, she asked.
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“An aglaonema nitidum curtisii,” I replied.
#OP The target held the flowerpot and stared at it. “I mean,
I could. I guess it’s pretty.”
“I can live with that, I suppose.” I got off the swing and stood
in front of the target.
After a while of this, the target gently let the pot down at her feet.
“Will you kill me?”, she said, starting to swing.
The target stopped swinging, and said, glancing at the pot rather
than me: “I don’t know that much. Just that what you’re
doing now is what I used to do.”
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“I’m betting it was the same for you. One day, I was
suddenly able to control people’s bodies, and at the same
time I felt like I had to do something with it. Sound about
right?”
“I felt like I was doing a good thing. The best thing about
it was that every time I drove someone to suicide, I died
myself, and it felt like I was reborn.”
#OP “What about you? Do you know why you have your
powers?”
I shook my head.
“This is just a total guess, but I think the baton’s been passed from
me to you. And the reason for that is because I stopped killing
people.
#OP “Well, I couldn’t kill that woman. You never would’ve guessed
it, but it turned out her favorite pastime was talking to photographs.
I don’t know why, but that kind of thing… It just made me lose all
my motivation, I guess.”
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“A while after I let her go, I lost the ability to take over
people’s bodies. And a while after that, now I’ve gotten
controlled myself.”
“Me? …Well, I’m scared to die. But even so, I think death
would be easier than living. So, yeah. Maybe I do want to be
killed.”
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“Huh?” The target looked down at the flowerpot.
“Huh?!” The target’s body stiffened. Her head was likely filled
with beer bottles.
#OP “If you let it wilt, I’ll take over your body and go
around telling your classmates “Please be my friend!””
“Courtesy?”
“Good enough.”
“Azure Skye.”
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“Not Cloudie Skye.”
“Well, of course.”
“That’s embarrassing…”
For someone like Azure, appearing to enjoy talking with others was
the most agonizing thing there was.
#OP “Goodbye, Mr. Claude.” Azure left the park. She hurried
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off as if running away, so that no one in the park would notice.
But a classmate of Azure’s saw her leaving the park and the
flowerpot she carried. He averted his eyes, as if he’d seen
something he shouldn’t have.
#OP The classmate left, and Azure returned to me. “Just what
are you trying to pull?” She was in tears. How embarrassed was
she?
Looking utterly shocked, Azure said: “Do you enjoy teasing high
school girls?”
After her last class, I thought Azure was going to make a beeline
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out of the room, but she wrote a message in the corner of her
notebook, likely directed at me.
Due to it being a hot day, the swings were extremely hot as well.
Azure had come to confirm that she was raising the curtisii
properly. And as far as I could tell, she had made no significant
mistakes.
I took over Azure’s body and had her spray her forehead at the
water fountain.
I took over Azure’s body and dug around in her pockets. But I
couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I relinquished control.
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#OP “You,” I asked. “Where’s your cellphone?”
“Surely you can tell I don’t need one. Haven’t you noticed
that yet?” Azure wrung out her hair.
“No thanks!”
“…Yeah. Immediately.”
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“Coffee pretty much tastes like poison.”
#OP I looked through the books on the table, and Azure stared at
me oddly.
#OP After about two hours of study, Azure stretched and told me:
“By the way. I lost my powers about a week after my target
ran away.”
#OP We entered the movie theater and went down the stairs.
“Well, this definitely isn’t a good place for studying,” Azure
said, looking around restlessly.
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Exhausted from cramming for exams daily, I fell asleep minutes
into the movie.
It was almost over when I woke up. The characters were crying
over something emotional. Don’t get so beat up about it, I thought.
“What was the movie like?”, I asked. Azure replied, “It was
about a murderer who gets a terrible punishment.” I felt the
film makers would probably be disappointed with that description.
#OP “You know, people who kill others usually end up dying
at the end of movies and shows.”
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make me revise the suicide note? How were you able to do
that so forcefully?”
#OP “No, I’m fine. I just felt like I was being watched for a
second.”
#OP We had just left the plaza. As we passed under the shade of a
tree, I circled behind Azure and wrapped my right arm around her
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thin neck.
It was my first time being taken over. It didn’t feel very odd at all,
so I was fooled into thinking I was moving by myself.
#OP Force was gradually put into my arm, wrapped around Azure’s
neck. Thinking I had no other choice, I took over Azure’s body and
tried to thrust myself away.
But Azure could resist it. She defied my control and didn’t do
anything. Indeed, this told me that she truly did want me to kill her.
#OP After my attempt to defy the control, my arm hurt like it’d
been smacked with something hard and all my skin turned inside-
out.
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“Yeah. Not even really sure what I’m saying, it hurts so
bad.”
“Same here. And I’m dizzy. And it’s hot, of course. Claude,
my neck was really sweaty, wasn’t it?”
“Not really…”
“So what was that “I can’t tell you” thing about, huh?”
“And because I did that, you got the hang of it. That’s
good, right?”
We went to sit on the edge of a water fountain in the park, but I fell
right in. That’s what happens when you have no power in your abs.
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airplane left a trail among the clouds.
Two crows on a nearby tree looked at me. They looked like they
were watching their soon-to-be prey.
Azure stood on the edge of the fountain and leapt in next to me.
She made a splash, and I covered my eyes. People in the plaza
looked toward us again.
#OP Azure didn’t come up after ten seconds, so I helped her get
up.
“Feels nice,” Azure said, closing her eyes. “So if you got
controlled again, could you resist?”
#OP “About that. Why aren’t they pursuing us? They could
have just kept your head down and drowned you there.”
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that you’d resist.”
#OP I wasn’t trying to praise Azure with that, but she looked
pleased.
After doing that for a while, we got out and wrung out our clothes.
Still dripping, we went over to sit on a bench and waited for them to
dry.
Our clothes were dry. Azure sneezed and yawned at the same
time. “Well, see you,” she said, and left.
#OP I thought it was possible I’d never meet Azure again after
that.
If they were to seriously come for us, even with our meager
resistance, it would probably only be a matter of time.
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Soon, we were having a conversation.
#OP Imagining the pain that was soon to come, I opposed control
and moved my mouth. I attempted to communicate with the person
who was trying to kill me.
#OP “You can’t really know what it’s like for the people
you’re taking over the bodies of. I know it now that I’m the
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one being controlled, but the fact of being controlled isn’t
something that’s easily noticeable.”
“It feels awfully natural, having your body taken over and
moved. Maybe what’s happening seems strange, but it’s
hard to identify the reason.”
“What I’m going to say now, well, there’s no proof for it,
and it’s skipping over logic. But most importantly, it’s a
theory that I would be happy with.”
A brother and sister, about eight and six years old, sprayed each
other with bug spray, the smell of which reached me. I heard the
sound of a flute in the distance. I smelled burnt sauce as well.
#OP I couldn’t move my eyes, but I saw a blue skirt in the corner of
my vision.
“My job was over quick after you left. Then I walked over
here and saw you…” I knew who it was from her voice.
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I looked at her in silence. She saw my mouth and gasped, “You’re
bleeding!”
After saying this, I thought what to say next, with us still in the
same positions. I eventually realized my body was no longer being
controlled.
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“I wasn’t expecting any of that to happen…” She was pale.
“And what was I even talking about back there? What’s
wrong with me…?”
I felt sorry for her, but with no easy way to explain, I just ran
away.
#OP Going against the crowd of people headed for the festival, I
dragged my cold body home. I reached my apartment, opened the
door, and threw myself onto the bed without undressing.
The room was humid and I was in pain. I couldn’t even get up to
turn on the fan. I was terribly thirsty, but I also couldn’t be bothered
to get water.
#OP I got up and looked toward the kitchen where the voice had
come from. I saw Azure’s face lit by the refrigerator. She took out a
can of Highball and drank it down.
Azure took the can away from her lips and remarked “Tasty!”
with a smile. I was relieved and lied down on the bed again.
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#OP Did she not realize I had no energy to move? Was she just
too drunk? Azure started fishing through my things.
She threw out many of my CDs and books, too. But she would
occasionally say “This is good stuff” and put it back on the shelf.
#OP I gestured to Azure and made a cup with my hands to ask for
water. She filled a cup with cold water in the kitchen and brought it
back, exclaiming “Behold, water!” She dribbled it onto me from
about a meter above the bed.
I opened my mouth and managed to drink it. My face and the bed
got completely wet, of course, but I was happy to have some water.
“You look like you want to go out,” Azure said joyfully. “But I
won’t let you. Ahaha. …Well, anyway, Claude. You haven’t
been talking. Or moving. Are you tired? Did something
happen?”
#OP Azure moved my body over, got behind me, and wrapped her
arm around my neck.
Azure’s neck was cold before, but her arm was warm today. Or
maybe it was just my body that was cold.
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“Since I’m drunk…” Azure said into my ear. “Since I’m drunk,
I might say some weird stuff, but it’s ’cause I’m drunk. So
don’t worry about it.”
Azure let go of my neck, took her arm down, and put it over my
chest.
“Why haven’t you been messing with me? Claude, why are
you leaving me to myself if that’s how I want to be?”
#OP “It’s a little lonely, you know? And I like being lonely.
So I’m asking you to put a stop to that. That’s what your job
is all about, right, Claude?”
#OP I pushed Azure’s hand away and faced her. I thought I’d first
try to explain that I couldn’t talk right now, so I pointed to my mouth
and made an “X.”
Azure seemed to misinterpret me. “If you say you can’t, that
just makes me want it more.” I tried again, pointing at my lips.
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Eventually, I struggled to type it out on my phone, explaining what
had happened earlier. But Azure kept nodding and going “okay”
while reading it, ultimately falling sound asleep on my bed.
“She sells sea sells by the sea shore, she sells sea sells by
the sea shore…”
#OP Azure sat up on the bed and said: “Um… Sorry for being
clingy earlier.”
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“You mean time to get wasted,” Azure said, and laughed to
herself.
“Got it,” I said, putting one arm under Azure’s knees and one
behind her neck. I lifted her up and carried her to the hallway. I was
surprised by her lightness.
#OP I took her to the door, opened it, and stepped outside.
“That’s enough,” Azure said. I kept walking, though.
“Yeah.”
“You had your vocal chords, Claude, but my legs are super
sore.”
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“Alright then, I won’t let Claude die before me!”
We both knew it was just for peace of mind. With our experience,
we knew death wasn’t a gentle or pretty thing.
#OP The next day, I was going to invite Azure to the usual park.
But I realized I’d lost the ability to take over people’s bodies.
“Well, even when I’m all prepared to die, suddenly I have a happy
thought. And then all that preparation goes down the drain.
#OP Azure basked in the pleasant breeze from the car window,
quietly singing something. I wondered if she thought I couldn’t hear
it.
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but I decided against it.
I had been hoping to hear Azure sing, though. Having two only
hobbies, alcohol and music, it figured she would know how.
#OP We ordered hot dogs and crepes at a food cart, and sat down
to eat. Half the paint had come off of the ancient, Coca-Cola-red
bench.
Azure took off her sandals and sat sideways, putting her legs on
my lap.
“You know, I’ve been thinking about this a while now, but I
don’t know much of anything about you, Claude.”
#OP “Like, I like music, for example. But you knew that
already, right?”
“What an honor!”
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“The earth? The moon? The sun?”
“…Hm?”
“The former.”
“I don’t know, but it can’t be easy for them if it’s the other
side of the planet, right?”
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“And then what would we do?”
I later took a right turn by mistake, causing her to fall over toward
the driver’s seat.
#OP “I’ve killed eight people by now, right? Well, I regret it.
Now that I really think about it, I don’t know for sure what those
people did wrong. Even if they were bad people, I didn’t have
anything personal against them.
Then why did I do those things? If you were one of them, Claude, I
think I would’ve even killed you then. Thinking about it that way, I’ve
done something truly terrible.
…But, well, I’ve secretly been pretty pleased with all the things
that have happened since I stopped at nine. And that’s even taking
into account what’s to come.”
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#OP “Actually, about that…” I told Azure about the theory I
had thought of earlier.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s really weird when you think about it.”
“Knives don’t kill people. Knives are just tools you can
use. And in that same way, someone used Azure to kill those
people.”
But what reason was there for those needless murders? Our
powers could be used for all kinds of personal benefit, so why didn’t
we do that?
Maybe they were limiting our ability. They made sure we don’t do
anything they don’t want.”
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head dropped and she waited a short time. “But I’m still just
terrible. I mean, here I am thinking how lucky I was to meet
you because I killed eight people.”
Azure gave a worried smile. “Well, you can’t say that for sure.
But I feel like I should bear the responsibility until we can be
sure they were bad people.”
I stopped the car and we got out. Contrasting the blue sky and
white clouds above, the ground was filled with yellows and greens.
Countless white windmills stood spinning in the breeze.
#OP I felt like I’d seen the scene a long time ago. A girl in uniform,
a man in a suit, a mismatched pair standing in a sunflower field
together.
Of course, I hadn’t really seen it. Maybe it was simply due to how
well the spectacle suited my tastes.
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Then she looked toward me and said “That’s it, right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded.
It did seem like an ideal way to pass the time. “Is that okay with
you?”, I inquired.
“Of course. I’ll have you see all the things you like, and get
attached to all of them. And then you can cry “I don’t wanna
dieee!” into me.”
“Gotcha.”
“Nah. I’ve lost those shady powers now. I can’t control you
anymore, Azure. Thank goodness for that.”
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I’ve gotten in the habit of doing what you say.”
#OP I sat on a bench near the entrance and waited for Azure.
Everyone coming and going looked happy. In fact, anyone who came
here would have to have some degree of affluence. They would have
to be people with money to spend on “wants.”
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Many guests came with their children, and they all looked like they
came out of storybooks. They had fine clothes, well-kept faces,
pretty builds.
#OP Azure was soon standing beside me. “Alright, let’s go,”
she said. I didn’t ask what she’d been doing.
I softly held her thin white fingers. Azure gripped tightly back.
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started to play. It seemed to be coming from the clock tower up
above.
Just in case, I said: “I’m fine with just seeing them, actually.
I never said I really wanted to ride them.”
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“It takes a while to get accustomed to happiness. A
decade, two decades. Could even be a century.”
#OP As I expected, the rain was getting more severe. There were
less and less people on the roof.
#OP “How does this sound?”, Azure said as the Ferris wheel
approached two-thirds its maximum height. “Mr. Claude, please
state the established procedure for driving a target to
suicide.”
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two, three, and four?”
#OP Our Ferris wheel reached its highest point. We could see all
the rain-drenched town from there.
Azure said, clinging to the window and looking down: “Right. I’m
going to the same college as you, Claude. I’ll study hard, and
be your junior.”
Every year, we’ll visit the graves of the people killed by us. We
won’t live the greatest lives, but we’ll live strong. We’ll live in a
bright shadow.
By that time, we’ll stop talking the way we have been. We’ll talk
honestly to each other about the past. For example -”
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myself from liking Azure, but it ended up being in vain.”
#OP We returned to the store all wet, still laughing at each other.
Thinking about it, this summer was constantly making Azure and I
soaking wet. And yet this was the first time it was from the rain.
#OP The rain died down considerably. Azure told me to look into
the sky, and I could faintly see the moon.
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“Unfortunately, you can’t see the stars, but…”
Azure took something out of her bag. I knew what it was before
she could unpack it.
#OP Some way or another, I would free Azure from this terrible
cycle.
By the time the music box concluded its song, that was what I had
decided.
But as it turned out, that was the final day for us.
#OP It may feel sudden, but that’s more or less the end of it.
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#OP The girl I met that sunny August day was a girl with nervous
eyes.
#OP She was slender and fair-skinned, always kept her gaze low,
and had a very restrained laugh.
#OP Oh, and of course: thank YOU for reading all 10,700+ of my
words!
The one thing I’m still wondering about is the teacher being
surprised way at the beginning. Did the explanation for that get left
out?
#2ch ^ Maybe resisting and the ability are separate? I think the
idea of overwriting is your brain sends its own commands on top of
the things your body is doing on its own…
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#2ch ”Is that how it looks to an observer, I wonder?” We’ll live in a
bright shadow. The cloudiness in my heart cleared.
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