1

00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,887

Yes, another glorious Sunday.

2
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,889
Scone for my muffin?

3
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,159
And for you,
five breakfast burritos.

4
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,429
Ah, the Voltron.

5
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,532
Our lives are
in perfect balance.

6
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,936
Oh, it is just last‐second
birthday gift shoppers.

7
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,771
Ignore them.

8
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,241
I know you're in there,
you lazy dork.

9
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:43,243
I can smell the burritos!

10
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,245
Four. No! Five!

11
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,247
They can't be closed.
We're booked solid

12
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,816
with birthday parties today,
and we have no presents.
13
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,885
Don't worry, I got this.

14
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:53,921
Auto Trader for the girls.

15
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,923
Adult Escort Express
for the boys.

16
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,457
Kids are adults, right?

17
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,060
Fine, fine, whatever.
Let's just go.

18
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,032
Let us wander as aimlessly
as the plots

19
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,668
of the four
upcoming Avatar sequels...

20
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,336
I can only assume.

21
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,439
I love your contempt
for things that don't matter.

22
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,250
Do you hear that?

23
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,186
Ah, silence.

24
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,793
Come on, let's go.

25
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,362
Time to go
to Milhouse's puppy party.

26
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,031
If we go late,
you'll get a crappy dog.

27
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,033
That's it, I'm coming in.

28
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,571
Ow! No! Ow! No!
That's where I had my surgery!

29
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,584
Miyazaki marathon with
chilled lobster spring rolls.

30
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:07,894
Oh, crap!

31
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,064
I just realized
I haven't eaten anything all day.

32
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,433
They're out of pizza,
but I built you a slice

33
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,935
out of trash scraps.

34
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,838
Well, hide me behind your coat
while I eat it.

35
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,909
I need to be around grown‐ups.

36
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,711
Excuse me.
37
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,780
You just passed my street.

38
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,449
Who the hell are you?

39
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,418
Leland Huebner III.

40
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,420
Go back and get Bart.

41
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,622
Hold on,
this one seems all right.

42
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,258
A little stuck up,
but all right.

43
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,962
Thanks so much for the
last‐minute dinner invitation.

44
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,064
There never was any dinner.
You fell for a scam.

45
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,433
You're babysitting.
No money.

46
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,069
Adults!

47
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,772
Pull over!

48
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,311
Wow, Moe, you really gussy up
the place for trivia night.
49
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,247
Hey, where are the regulars?

50
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082
Ah, keg storage.

51
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,951
Hey! We're thirsty!

52
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:07,921
Thank you.

53
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,524
I've always wanted to do
a trivia.

54
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,793
Who knows what I might know?

55
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,899
Please, join our team.

56
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,901
But they're noobs.

57
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:24,771
Even the humble noob has a place
in the seasons of trivia.

58
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,575
Once again
I am in awe of your decency.

59
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,010
All right, all right, weirdos.

60
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,012
I want to welcome you dorks
to trivia night.

61
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,614
Now, shut your nerd faces
for the first question.

62
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,250
List the four players
with the most fighting penalties

63
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:39,386
in NHL history.

64
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,687
Oh, sports.

65
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,923
The very lowest genus
of trivium.

66
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,791
Let's see. Tie Domi,
Dave "Tiger" Williams,

67
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,498
Dave "The Hammer" Schultz,
and, of course,

68
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,929
Stu "The Grim Reaper"
Grimson. Duh.

69
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,900
All right, next category,
20th Century Vacuum Cleaners.

70
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,969
Just give me the pencil.

71
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,371
The mascot
for this Boston‐based...

72
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,841
Cuppy, the Dunkin' Donuts
coffee cup.
73
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,909
This English
prog rock supergroup

74
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:06,513
scored a hit
with 1970's Lucky Man.

75
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,514
Emerson!

76
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,515
Lake!

77
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,516
And!

78
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,517
Palmer!

79
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,819
Okay, okay.

80
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,921
And the winning team is...

81
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,023
Han Shot First.
What does that mean?

82
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,726
- Is that dirty?
- It's from Star Wars.

83
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,728
I never heard of it.
Is it dirty?

84
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,730
Who cares, who cares.
Here's your trophy.
85
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,035
To fat guys with hot wives.

86
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,438
This one's for you, Kevin James.

87
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,077
Take a poncho.

88
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,614
I always carry extras in case
Homer eats anything slurpable.

89
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,582
That's so clever.

90
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:46,086
What other big‐and‐tall
wife hacks do you have?

91
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:50,090
Oh, I've got all kinds of tricks
for fat‐proofing your house.

92
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,459
Come over sometime
and I'll show you.

93
00:04:53,426 --> 00:04:55,128
My chashu!

94
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,034
See? Here I've welded
high‐tensile steel

95
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:04,571
under the cushions
to reduce sofa‐sag.

96
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:08,508
I've lost a lot of furniture
to chubby hubby couch droop.

97
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,046
Oh, Maggie's up.

98
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,582
Can you go sit with her
while I warm a bottle?

99
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,418
Oh, but I don't know much
about babies.

100
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,520
Except how to dress like one.

101
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,891
All is well.

102
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,092
Silence.

103
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,828
You are loved!

104
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,887
Look how much she likes you.

105
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,789
You're a natural.

106
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,693
I just remembered something
I must tell my husband.

107
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:01,962
Impregnate me at once!

108
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,699
But you never wanted children.

109
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,068
You always said our marriage
is perfect as it is.

110
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:12,706
I mean, can you imagine a child
playing in this room?

111
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,875
It's full of toys.

112
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:17,010
Yes, well, but yeah,
but it's selfish

113
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,213
to bring a new life into a world
with diminishing resources.

114
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,749
The planet is running out
of watchable IP!

115
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,252
They say by 2028
all we will have left

116
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,654
is the General Mills
Cinematic Universe

117
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,823
starring Hamburger Helper.

118
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,825
If I can't convince you,

119
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,594
maybe she can.

120
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,264
Greta, the sexy Gremlin
121
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,233
from the underappreciated
but‐still‐terrible Gremlins 2.

122
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,237
I know this is
your ultimate fantasy.

123
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,274
It's time to feed your desires

124
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,775
after midnight.

125
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:53,880
I must resist.

126
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,349
My will is stronger
than The Great Resisto,

127
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,452
a hero I am inventing
as I reference him.

128
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:02,856
My darling, my darling,
I am sorry.

129
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:06,159
But I have spent every working
hour of my life around children,

130
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,161
and one thing
I know for certain.

131
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,497
I don't want any.

132
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,633
And... banked.
133
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,537
I want a baby.

134
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,540
I don't want a baby!

135
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,515
Kumiko's baby fever is
out of control.

136
00:07:29,217 --> 00:07:30,719
Look at all these comments
she left.

137
00:07:30,786 --> 00:07:32,955
It goes really quick
from smiley face

138
00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:36,024
to without a baby,
all is horror.

139
00:07:36,091 --> 00:07:39,027
Well, I think Comic Book Guy

140
00:07:39,672 --> 00:07:41,107
should have kids.

141
00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:43,309
Oh, that's so sweet.

142
00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:45,311
'Cause screw that jerk!

143
00:07:45,378 --> 00:07:48,981
Thinks his childless life
is so great just because it is.

144
00:07:49,048 --> 00:07:50,616
Wakes up whenever he wants.
145
00:07:50,683 --> 00:07:53,419
Doesn't have to lug car seats
onto the plane.

146
00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:56,122
He can store poison in the
fridge so it's nice and cold.

147
00:07:56,189 --> 00:07:58,758
And don't get me started
on their sex life.

148
00:07:58,824 --> 00:08:00,760
They can do it anywhere.

149
00:08:00,826 --> 00:08:04,063
Kitchen floor, bathroom floor,
on the microwave.

150
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:07,867
Set that baby on popcorn.
Pop! Pop! Pop!

151
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:10,369
So... we'll help them?

152
00:08:10,436 --> 00:08:13,739
Anything
to destroy their paradise.

153
00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,714
Remember, it's up to you two

154
00:08:21,781 --> 00:08:24,450
to make children seem
like a blessing.

155
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:27,720
Got it. And when she pops out
that kid, we each get a 20.

156
00:08:27,787 --> 00:08:30,856
- Or equivalent gift card.
- That's the stuff.

157
00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:34,760
Oh, look,
it's our trivia buddies!

158
00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:37,730
You see movies
at the same cemetery we do?

159
00:08:37,797 --> 00:08:40,366
What a pleasant surprise.

160
00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:41,734
Speaking of children,

161
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:45,171
these two were completely
planned and wanted.

162
00:08:47,873 --> 00:08:49,742
Shrug, he shrugged.

163
00:08:49,809 --> 00:08:52,044
Why don't we get
some more snacks?

164
00:08:53,779 --> 00:08:55,781
Hello, little azuki bean.

165
00:08:58,184 --> 00:08:59,752
Yo, Kingpin!

166
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:01,287
How's the ponytail hanging?

167
00:09:01,354 --> 00:09:03,889
Don't patronize me,
Bart and She‐Bart.

168
00:09:03,956 --> 00:09:06,325
I need silence
to watch the iconic '80s

169
00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:09,028
time travel epic,
Forward to the Past.

170
00:09:09,095 --> 00:09:11,063
Never heard of it.
Is it any good?

171
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:14,100
Okay, it's a consensus
top ten family action comedy

172
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:16,102
that has been delighting
bedwetting piglets

173
00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:17,870
like yourself for eons!

174
00:09:17,937 --> 00:09:21,073
Feh! Wah! Hooof!
And again, feh!

175
00:09:23,142 --> 00:09:26,579
It's so sweet you're helping
the Book Guys become a family.

176
00:09:26,646 --> 00:09:28,748
I mean, without kids, come on,

177
00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,383
they're just dating
with rings on.

178
00:09:31,784 --> 00:09:35,388
Oh, Marge, I love your takes.

179
00:09:35,454 --> 00:09:37,023
Ooh, model crypt.
180
00:09:37,089 --> 00:09:40,426
Fancy! Want to see
how the other half dies?

181
00:09:42,495 --> 00:09:44,630
We can return to our time

182
00:09:44,697 --> 00:09:46,766
if we can just get
this paddle steamer

183
00:09:46,832 --> 00:09:48,768
up to 99 miles an hour.

184
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,370
Is that relative
to the shore or the water?

185
00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:54,140
Great Steve, Mickey!
I don't know!

186
00:09:54,206 --> 00:09:57,643
Golfer Aoki, four letters.

187
00:09:57,710 --> 00:09:58,744
Isao.

188
00:09:58,811 --> 00:10:00,379
Hello? Hello?!

189
00:10:00,446 --> 00:10:02,581
The show is up there,
not on your lap.

190
00:10:02,648 --> 00:10:04,092
Look, I got to be honest.
I only like movies

191
00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:05,751
where Deadpool talks
to the camera,
192
00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:07,553
so I'm watching Deadpool.

193
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,822
Okay, eyes up, TikToks!

194
00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:12,792
Tonight, you watch a screen
that is unswipeable!

195
00:10:19,298 --> 00:10:22,301
Premium sound system. Sweet.

196
00:10:24,737 --> 00:10:26,138
Honey, just think.

197
00:10:26,205 --> 00:10:27,640
Someday, you and I will be

198
00:10:27,707 --> 00:10:30,343
snuggling next
to each other for eternity.

199
00:10:30,409 --> 00:10:33,679
Oh, Homie, I never
thought about it that way.

200
00:10:37,049 --> 00:10:40,319
'Till death do each other.

201
00:10:42,588 --> 00:10:46,192
Rivers? Where we're going,
we don't need rivers.

202
00:10:55,668 --> 00:10:57,103
Yes, all right,
you little trolls.

203
00:10:57,169 --> 00:10:59,772
If you must,
tear the classic down
204
00:10:59,839 --> 00:11:02,708
with your snarky little remarks.
Go.

205
00:11:02,775 --> 00:11:05,945
An emotionally satisfying
ending.

206
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,881
Are you sure
this is an American movie?

207
00:11:08,948 --> 00:11:10,616
I can't believe it.

208
00:11:10,683 --> 00:11:12,785
I... cared what happened.

209
00:11:14,387 --> 00:11:16,889
What is that thrill
I'm feeling?

210
00:11:16,956 --> 00:11:20,960
You are experiencing this movie
again for the first time,

211
00:11:21,026 --> 00:11:23,396
but through the eyes
of children.

212
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:34,273
Oh, Homie,
that was so dangerous.

213
00:11:34,340 --> 00:11:36,609
I feel like Mrs. Dracula.

214
00:11:36,675 --> 00:11:38,511
I definitely had a...

215
00:11:38,577 --> 00:11:40,813
good evening.

216
00:11:41,847 --> 00:11:43,582
Hey, it's locked.

217
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,418
Oh, no!

218
00:11:45,484 --> 00:11:48,087
We're trapped
in a crypt full of...

219
00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:49,789
smooth jazz.

220
00:11:56,862 --> 00:11:58,631
Little known trivia,

221
00:11:58,697 --> 00:12:01,600
the time travel vehicle
was originally a tanning booth.

222
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,470
That's crazy!

223
00:12:04,537 --> 00:12:06,972
The little ones love
your useless knowledge.

224
00:12:07,039 --> 00:12:10,476
Yes, my factoid will be
passed on for generations,

225
00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:13,546
and in that way,
I will never truly die.

226
00:12:13,612 --> 00:12:16,549
You know, maybe I was wrong

227
00:12:16,615 --> 00:12:20,286
to dismiss the idea
of children so... so quickly.

228
00:12:20,352 --> 00:12:21,987
Do you mean it?

229
00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:24,089
Hurry. Let's return
these loaner kids

230
00:12:24,156 --> 00:12:27,460
and go home
to make a mixed‐race nerd.

231
00:12:27,526 --> 00:12:31,297
Hey, shouldn't Mom and Dad
be showing up about now?

232
00:12:32,731 --> 00:12:36,235
Mom? Dad? Where are you?!

233
00:12:36,302 --> 00:12:38,604
We are in a cemetery,

234
00:12:38,671 --> 00:12:40,773
so maybe
they were attacked by zombies.

235
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,476
Stop it! Stop saying that!

236
00:12:43,542 --> 00:12:45,077
Our parents are undead.

237
00:12:45,144 --> 00:12:47,446
Dad will eat your head.

238
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:55,754
Let us out!

239
00:12:55,821 --> 00:12:58,591
Great Steve! They are zombies!
240
00:13:05,431 --> 00:13:07,600
They demand...
emotional support.

241
00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:09,101
You can do it.

242
00:13:09,168 --> 00:13:10,603
Give them comfort.

243
00:13:12,304 --> 00:13:15,107
Must... act like...
loving father.

244
00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:17,843
I flee.

245
00:13:21,313 --> 00:13:23,649
But you caved!

246
00:13:25,885 --> 00:13:29,622
Mom! Dad! You're okay!

247
00:13:29,688 --> 00:13:30,923
Hey, where'd the dork go?

248
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,958
Your children's emotional needs

249
00:13:33,025 --> 00:13:34,460
have pushed him away.

250
00:13:34,527 --> 00:13:37,563
If I know him, and I don't,

251
00:13:37,630 --> 00:13:39,298
I'm sure he'll be back.

252
00:13:39,365 --> 00:13:43,702
No. He has run to a place
where there is no hope.
253
00:13:49,842 --> 00:13:52,478
I have returned. Forever.

254
00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:55,814
Your room is unchanged...
as are your sheets.

255
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:04,557
So... your husband ran away
to his childhood home,

256
00:14:05,331 --> 00:14:07,000
leaving you alone.

257
00:14:07,066 --> 00:14:09,102
Maybe forever.
Also, childless.

258
00:14:10,470 --> 00:14:12,572
I'm sure you're experiencing

259
00:14:12,639 --> 00:14:14,774
a lot of feelings right now.

260
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:16,809
It's okay to let them out.

261
00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:22,181
I hate you,
you shameless womb tease!

262
00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:24,117
You're like a baby drug dealer!

263
00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:27,320
You give me a taste,
and now I'm hooked!

264
00:14:27,387 --> 00:14:29,122
This is on you too!
265
00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:31,958
You've crushed
my only chance at happiness,

266
00:14:32,025 --> 00:14:34,594
you ape‐faced
cheeseburger goblin!

267
00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:38,631
Make this right.

268
00:14:38,698 --> 00:14:40,700
Bring back my husband!

269
00:14:47,373 --> 00:14:50,343
So this is where
Comic Book Guy grew up.

270
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:53,880
We'll finally see what kind
of its created a that.

271
00:14:57,216 --> 00:15:01,387
Ah, you must be delivering
my 1912 Polish coronation stamp.

272
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,089
Actually,
we're looking for someone

273
00:15:03,156 --> 00:15:05,124
we call Comic Book Guy.

274
00:15:05,191 --> 00:15:08,928
Enter.
My son is in here... somewhere.

275
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:12,131
Oh, well, thank you, Mr...

276
00:15:12,198 --> 00:15:15,335
You may refer to me
as Postage Stamp Fellow.

277
00:15:19,172 --> 00:15:21,407
What is this crazy place?

278
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:28,314
This crazy place

279
00:15:28,381 --> 00:15:30,016
is Comic Book Guy's
childhood home.

280
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,085
An only child,
he grew up surrounded

281
00:15:32,151 --> 00:15:36,022
by an eccentric extended family
of childless aunts and uncles.

282
00:15:36,089 --> 00:15:39,325
However, his family poured their
love into their collections,

283
00:15:39,392 --> 00:15:42,762
instead of into the lonely
little boy wandering the halls.

284
00:15:42,829 --> 00:15:46,532
His aunt collected taxidermized
chestnut‐tailed starlings,

285
00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:49,769
causing her to form a tacit
alliance with her twin brother,

286
00:15:49,836 --> 00:15:52,038
who collected
brutalist birdhouses.

287
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,975
His great step‐uncle,
288
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,378
who had once had his heart
broken by a meter maid,

289
00:15:58,444 --> 00:16:01,981
was a gatherer of discredited
obstetric equipment,

290
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,616
while his younger dowager aunt

291
00:16:03,683 --> 00:16:06,119
collected antique
Chinese cricket boxes

292
00:16:06,185 --> 00:16:07,820
and filled them
with live crickets,

293
00:16:07,887 --> 00:16:09,989
who frequently escaped.

294
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,767
The only thing of value

295
00:16:11,791 --> 00:16:14,994
the family did not display
in the home was love.

296
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,630
And the love he sought most
was that of his father,

297
00:16:17,697 --> 00:16:20,633
who spent his days
as an avid philatelist.

298
00:16:36,649 --> 00:16:40,453
Mint. Mint.
Near mint. Very fine.

299
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,089
Hi, there.

300
00:16:43,156 --> 00:16:46,626
Maybe you might feel better
if you came home with us?

301
00:16:46,692 --> 00:16:48,261
I am home.
From now on,

302
00:16:48,327 --> 00:16:50,930
my only companion is
my comic book collection.

303
00:16:50,997 --> 00:16:52,965
Mint. Mint. Near mint.

304
00:16:53,032 --> 00:16:55,034
Gem mint. Mint. Mint...

305
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,870
- Look at the sad little boy.
- Mint. Mint. Mint. Mint.

306
00:16:57,937 --> 00:17:00,506
- Is that you?
- Mint. Mint.

307
00:17:00,573 --> 00:17:03,109
Worst... day... ever!

308
00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:06,879
There's got to be more
to this story.

309
00:17:06,946 --> 00:17:08,614
There was more to this story.

310
00:17:10,650 --> 00:17:13,786
Without anyone to play with,
the lonely boy turned to baseball.

311
00:17:13,853 --> 00:17:15,888
His favorite pitcher
was Sandy Koufax,

312
00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:18,991
and he perfected a curveball
of rare devastation.

313
00:17:19,058 --> 00:17:22,595
However, his team
would never give him a chance.

314
00:17:22,662 --> 00:17:24,597
But on the day
before the big game,

315
00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:27,600
all the starting pitchers were
injured in a multi‐canoe pile‐up

316
00:17:27,667 --> 00:17:31,404
caused by the sighting of an
unusually large lake sturgeon.

317
00:17:33,539 --> 00:17:35,741
He got the call to pitch.

318
00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:37,928
His dearest hope was that
his father would finally see

319
00:17:37,977 --> 00:17:40,179
his masterful curveball
in action.

320
00:17:40,246 --> 00:17:42,982
But during the biggest moment
of his young life,

321
00:17:43,049 --> 00:17:46,185
his dad was nowhere to be seen.

322
00:18:10,276 --> 00:18:11,978
He escaped his sadness

323
00:18:12,044 --> 00:18:15,481
into a world of heroes,
villains and jugheads.

324
00:18:18,651 --> 00:18:22,388
In that moment, he became more
than a boy but less than a man.

325
00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:26,192
He became Comic Book Guy.

326
00:18:27,827 --> 00:18:29,962
Marge then confronted
Postage Stamp Fellow

327
00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:32,932
about this life‐changing
incident with his son.

328
00:18:32,999 --> 00:18:35,034
What? Okay.

329
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:41,073
Why weren't you there
for your son when he needed you?

330
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,776
This is not a family
to rummage through the past.

331
00:18:43,843 --> 00:18:45,678
Emotionally.

332
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:48,748
You tell me why you didn't go
to your son's baseball game,

333
00:18:48,814 --> 00:18:50,149
or I'll lick it.

334
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,817
My Inverted Dendermonde?

335
00:18:51,884 --> 00:18:53,185
You wouldn't dare!

336
00:18:54,987 --> 00:18:56,298
All right, all right!
I'll tell you!

337
00:18:56,322 --> 00:18:58,357
I was buying him that.

338
00:19:01,527 --> 00:19:03,963
Go ahead. Tell him.

339
00:19:04,030 --> 00:19:05,932
I didn't go to your game,

340
00:19:05,998 --> 00:19:07,934
because I was afraid
if you lost,

341
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,403
I wouldn't know how
to comfort you.

342
00:19:10,469 --> 00:19:12,972
So I supported you
the only way I knew how.

343
00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:14,740
I purchased you a collectible.

344
00:19:14,807 --> 00:19:16,776
Which I never had the heart
to give you.

345
00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:19,579
Sandy Koufax,

346
00:19:19,645 --> 00:19:21,747
the left arm of God!

347
00:19:21,814 --> 00:19:24,917
Son, perhaps we should do
something we've never done.

348
00:19:24,984 --> 00:19:26,452
Have a catch?

349
00:19:26,519 --> 00:19:28,387
I think I would like that.

350
00:19:34,193 --> 00:19:38,097
Everyone,
my son and I are having a catch.

351
00:19:38,164 --> 00:19:41,200
Love was finally on display.

352
00:19:43,903 --> 00:19:48,741
Well, maybe Comic Book Guy won't
be so afraid to be a father.

353
00:19:50,176 --> 00:19:51,811
Sucker.

354
00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:57,984
Wife, I have returned...
healed!

355
00:19:58,050 --> 00:20:00,953
I am now...
Changed Better Guy.

356
00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:03,756
My ultimate fantasy.

357
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:07,660
Mr. Beaver from The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe.

358
00:20:07,727 --> 00:20:10,196
You are ready to make a baby.

359
00:20:35,755 --> 00:20:38,157
<i>Poor old Granddad</i>

360
00:20:38,224 --> 00:20:41,394
<i>I laughed at all his words</i>

361
00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:44,797
<i>I thought he was
a bitter man</i>

362
00:20:44,864 --> 00:20:46,799
<i>He spoke of women's ways...</i>

363
00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:53,639
<i>They trap you
and they use you</i>

364
00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:56,842
<i>Before you even know</i>

365
00:20:56,909 --> 00:20:59,645
<i>But love is blind
and you're far too kind</i>

366
00:20:59,712 --> 00:21:02,848
<i>Don't ever let it show</i>

367
00:21:02,915 --> 00:21:07,653
<i>I wish that I knew
what I know now</i>

368
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,755
<i>When I was younger</i>

369
00:21:09,822 --> 00:21:14,026
<i>I wish that I knew
what I know now</i>

370
00:21:14,093 --> 00:21:15,928
<i>When I was stronger</i>
371
00:21:15,995 --> 00:21:18,764
<i>The can‐can's
such a pretty show</i>

372
00:21:18,831 --> 00:21:22,001
<i>Will steal your heart away</i>

373
00:21:22,068 --> 00:21:25,771
<i>But backstage
back on Earth again</i>

374
00:21:25,838 --> 00:21:28,374
<i>The dressing rooms are gray</i>

375
00:21:28,441 --> 00:21:30,776
<i>They come on strong
and it ain't too...</i>