A’Lelia Sanders

Professor B.Chin
Expository Writing and English
9/29/2021

Losing a loved one

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take

your breath away”. - Maya Angelou. This quote speaks to me whenever I become speechless.

Mainly when I think about the events and things I have experienced in life it leaves me in awe .

This quote shows the special relationship I had with my grandfather. My grandfather was the

number one person I would love to always see, talk to, and he has always supported my sister

and I in a lot of the extracurriculars we would do at school and outside of school. His support

meant a lot because I did not have a father in my life so for him to give me the support I wanted

made me always feel very blessed, But I did not know how sick he actually was because of the

age I was at. The older I got , the sicker he became. I was 13 when I lost my grandfather ,

therefore about 5 years ago now and I miss him all the time. When I found out my grandfather

passed I didn’t cry until I saw him at the funeral. It broke my heart to actually see someone that I

cared about so much gone. I was so young when I lost my grandfather. I know now that I am

older that he was really there for me. I did not have a father figure in my life while growing up

but now that I am older I realize my grandfather was my father figure.

My dad has been absent since birth. since birth. The relationship I have with my father is very

transparent to the point where I would only recognize his face and voice for when he would pop

up at certain family functions. Not having a father figure in my life has affected me drastically

with relationships with other men and friends and puts a lot of insecurities and tolls on myself as
well. To this day I crave male attention because I did not receive a lot in my life at all. But

thinking about how my grandfather has always been there for me is the best feeling but hurts at

the same time that I can’t see him or talk to him right now.

I genuinely loved my grandfather to death and it hurts me to say that I can’t see him ,smell him,

touch him, or talk to him anymore. My favorite memory of my grandfather that was in my head

repeatedly is when he ordered me and my sister soul food and we were so young and he was so

old she could not understand what we wanted but still ordered our food. We sat at the table and

that food was terrible and we laughed the whole time while eating it , in fact the food was so bad

and we didn't know what it was and tried adding random seasoning to the food to make it taste

better. Memories about me going over to my grandfather's house every day and middle school

with my mom will work late. My siblings and I would watch regular shows all night and my

grandfather didn’t cook a lot so it was McDonald’s and noodles cups most of the time until my

mom picked us up. Memories about when my grandfather would show up to my sister's school to

come watch cheerleading play basketball in any school event that we want him to be out he was

always there. Memories about my grandfather go through my head, specifically the smell of the

doublemint chewing gum all the time when I’m around him in his car and his house or just being

in his presence was enough for me.

A specific memory about my grandfather is the fact that he had a bright baby blue car. The car

itself was very sentimental to my grandfather because he had that specific car for years and years

until he passed. The car was so unique any time we saw him driving around, we knew that it was

him because no one else would have the same color car. That blue car was his car for a very long

time and all that specific color because it was a favorite color. I love that about my grandfather.

He was so proud of that car and could tell the story behind it every single day. To this day I think
about how I can make my grandfather proud and the things he would say to me. I always think

about the little time that we spent together and I wish that I would’ve cherished the time. I think

of the numerous times that I would be at his house and I could stay there all day and all night

whenever I wanted. To this day I would go to my grandfather's house and talk to him more about

everything I had going on and tell him about college, highschool, sports, JROTC, going to the

military, and etc.

My intake in talking about my grandfather just brings me to the conclusion that you never know

how much time you have with anyone. But specifically the fact that you never will understand

how much love you have for someone until they’re gone. The second you can’t talk, hug, be

around their presence. I wish I knew back then to say more and do more but now I just think

about how I can ensure that I’m doing everything right when it comes to him and keep him in my

memory forever and always. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated”.

-Maya Angelou.