Kylee McCluskey

COMM 1010
Joshua Adams
Fall 2021

Communication Skills
In this journal, you will see how I reflect on the course material of each week and connect
it with my personal life. Each page has a different topic and is presented in order of
communication competence, perception and self, verbal and nonverbal messages, listening skills,
interpersonal communication, and then my final summary of what I have taken away from this
class. The purpose of this journal is to track my communication skills from the beginning of this
Fall 2021 semester. I will always be able to look back on this in my communication journey to
see how far I have improved in each area of communicating.
Communication Competence
Based on the assessments my strength in communicating is with interpersonal
communications. I feel most comfortable communicating one on one with someone I consider a
friend. According to the textbook we spend most of our communication time in this area so it
makes sense that it would be the most comfortable communication style for most people.  Since
we spend most of our communication time here that also means this is where the most
miscommunication errors come from.
My weaknesses in communication grow as does the amount of people I am
communicating with. I feel this is true with a lot of people. I struggle the most with public
speaking. Oftentimes in the past, whenever I had to present a project on my own to the class it
ended in jumbled words and tears even though I do thorough research and I am prepared.  I have
learned that this is from psychological noise from myself. This then leads to the message not
being sent clearly. The only thing I can do to improve my communication competence in this
scenario is to keep communicating in uncomfortable situations.  
Perception and Self
My family has impacted my perception of others more than culture or social influences. I
learned a lot of my thinking patterns from both of my parents. I feel like my mom can be quick
to judge, while my dad has a logical reason for why people are the way they are. I believe I have
a mix of this, where I can't be logical in the perception of others immediately but within a couple
of seconds, I take time to think of what I am thinking. This week I have noticed that I have some
fundamental attribution errors when communicating with my boyfriend. I had assumed he forgot
something at the grocery store, but really, they were out. The way that I think and ask questions
is something I plan to improve moving forward. 
Between the three socializing factors of culture, family, and media, family is the most
important influence in my self-perception right now. I have noticed self-comparison when I
compare my mothering abilities between myself, my mother, and my grandmother. What I want
to improve on with my self-perception is self-esteem. The readings mentioned positive
affirmations lead to better self-perception. 
Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
You can adapt verbal and nonverbal messages for effectiveness by being aware of who
you are talking to and what the social norms are of that situation/culture. You can keep from
crossing an ethical line by also knowing the norms of a situation/culture and knowing where you
stand and what is appropriate. As an example, mirroring my family’s preference of proximity,
my mom’s side does a quick hug, while my dad’s side hugs and kisses. I've learned with age to
go with the norms of the particular family and adapt back and forth. 
Another way to adapt communication would be to use supportive messages
communicated in open, honest, and nonconfrontational ways, which is more likely to bring
people together. That means keeping away from global labels, sarcasm, dragging up the past,
negative comparisons, and judgmental "you" statements (Jones, pg. 122-135, 2013). As an
example, for global labels, it would be crossing ethical lines for myself to label someone of
another culture, while it would be okay for someone in that particular culture to give themself
that label. 
Listening Skills
I think I am an okay listener. I am not bad, nor great. There are definitely areas I could
improve on. I took the listening self-assessment and had a total of 36 points, which puts me in
the middle score area of listening well.  I have noticed that my listening skills vary greatly on
physiological and psychological noise. Factors happening within my own body can be very
distracting, so before important classes, work, and conversations I like to fix what I can when it
comes to stress and hunger. 
I go back and forth between people-oriented and action-oriented types of listening
depending on the situation, noise, and who I am talking to. It is much easier for me to be an
empathetic or sympathetic listener to those I am not as close with like strangers or acquaintances.
When talking with my partner or close family and friends I sometimes jump into action-oriented
listening when I should be more people-oriented instead. I think because of the closeness I try to
fix the situation to either make it better or because sometimes in these situations I say what I
"think" I would do in their situation. I think I can improve in my empathy listening by practicing
active-empathetic listening so it is apparent to myself and the speaker. 
Interpersonal Communication
The theory of triangles puts importance on 3 aspects within a romantic relationship being
the primary relationship, inner self, and important outside interests. I enjoyed learning about this
concept this week because I can connect with this theory. After having my son, I lost some
outside interests that made me feel lonely even though I was happy within my romantic
relationship. My partner regained outside interests faster than I was able to and that put tension
on our relationship because I felt like more of his attention was there instead of with me when
really, I just needed my outside interests back. I realized this and invested more into my old
hobbies and friends again I felt a better balance and happier all the way around. 
Collaborating together was a good way to get to this point, his interests are playing video games
with his friends and when he was doing this every night from 9 pm until early morning for a
couple of weeks we came to the agreement that I needed to get my hobbies back. He had gotten a
new computer so I got his old one and set it up in the office with him so I could play my own
video games while he does. He also would make sure to spend time with me after our son’s
bedtime 2 nights a week. This collaboration was beneficial to both of us as we both won and
didn't have to give anything up.
Final Summary
The biggest takeaway from my journal entries is that there is always room for
improvement in each area of communication. It is easy to slip back into old communication
habits, so it is important to reflect back on each area and see where you are at the moment.
Reading through my journal I could connect each area to assignments I had throughout the rest
of the semester in both this class and other classes. I was also able to connect it to other things
outside of academia and in the “real world”.
In my first journal, communication competence, I wrote that it is important to keep
communicating even when you are in uncomfortable circumstances and I have held to that
throughout the rest of the semester even when I had to present my oral culture project. The best
thing in this scenario is to be completely prepared and have nicely written keynotes. In the verbal
and nonverbal messages section, I learned more specifically about how they come off by
reviewing my cultural speech project for self-evaluation. I could see the specific noise I created
by making too much movement and that it is distracting, but I also realized that it wasn’t as bad
as I thought it would be when I imagine how I did instead of actually evaluating my
performance.
I learned that I am good in teamwork settings and when given an agenda I like to go
through each task to completion. I learned that this is called an expediter role in group projects.
There are many different roles that go on in the dynamic of group projects and that one person
can have multiple roles. I was able to see that in action in our teamwork project with what
personalities took on what roles. We picked our roles in the beginning and helped pick each
other’s roles as well and it is funny to see how quickly you can accurately pick up on someone’s
personality and see how a certain role would be beneficial to them.
I am excited to see how I can connect everything I learned in this class to future settings
and use it to improve my communication as a whole. Everything I have learned in this class will
make me an easier person to talk to and also make communicating more enjoyable for me as
well.
 References

Jones, R. G. (2013). Functions of Language. In Communication in the real world: An

introduction to communication studies (pp. 122–135). essay, Flat World Knowledge.