Intimacy, a way to keep our souls together

Each of us longs for intimacy. It is one of the most profound needs a human being
has regarding the relationship with the beloved one. It is felt as a need of approaching
each other, which helps us feel the other one’s needs and way of being. A new conscious
approach to relating intimately means keeping our hearts open and connected to one
another.
A love relationship should offer a level of harmony, healing, passion and intimacy
that we intuitively come to recognize because it enlivens our loving feelings and
nourishes our souls.
Just as it implies, a conscious relationship is one where each of us stays present in
our connection together, through thick and thin. In a conscious relationship the
connection is sacred. Something magical happens when we feel connected and truly
present together.
In the terms of living the amorous ecstasy, delicious intimacy means learning to
enter into our own being deeply enough, to become the dearest guest of our own soul and
then to receive our lover in our heart in the same way.
Seeing things from this perspective, delicious intimacy doesn’t mean what we
conventionally understand by falling in love, but much more. It is a euphoric deepening
of our love, the understanding of the fact that the two lovers can transform themselves
and become better by being together, by diving into the other’s inner universe. In the
same time, we should keep in mind that delicious intimacy also implies attaining a state
of inner freedom which allows us preserve our own identity even when we are in a couple
relationship.
Here there are several signs which illustrate delicious intimacy in a couple: when
we feel in the same time natural, spontaneous, childish, playful, when we roll together
down the bed, tickling and petting each other as children do; when we feel safe in the
presence of our lover and we can share our weak points – sadness, sorrows, intimate
desires, erotic fantasies – being perfectly convinced that the other one responds warmly
and open-heartedly, and in no case with a critical attitude; when we simply have the
courage to get our lover into bed and whisper jokes or funny love tales in his/her ear.
Most people wrongly believe that sexuality represents the most rapid modality to
open the door towards a state of delicious intimacy, and that’s why they get frustrated
when they realize that after the intercourse the other remains distant and there is no
intimacy left. The truth is that sexuality cannot open this door, on the contrary, intimacy
is the one to open the door towards a happy transfigurative erotic relationship. It is so
because in the case of those who love each other, lovemaking is the crowning of the
delicious intimacy which exists between them.
Maybe many of us have already found the right ways to make delicious intimacy
appear. If we made a massage to our lover when he/she was tired, if we found the
modality of being funny or kind when the other one was sad or if we told him/her the
truth about our own feelings, that means we certainly experienced the state of delicious
intimacy to a certain extent.

Let’s see now how to increase the state of delicious intimacy by four of the
most sensual methods:
 First of all, in the case of sensual intimacy, we can awake new senses into our
lover, in a very delicate and tender way, by using the art of sensorial stimulation as an
expression of your love for him/her. Secondly, when we want to seduce our lover, we can
express our feelings and desires by inciting movements and by dance. The third modality
is that of sharing with our lover, by direct methods, wonderful states of pleasure and
playfulness, without being necessary to use words, avoiding any conversation. The fourth
modality implies a euphoric communion of the souls, a focus through which we can
identify deeply, empathically with the other’s being. We can feel that our soul is the
mirror of the other one’s soul. This is an exercise of soul contemplation.
These four modalities can be practiced separately, one by one, or together, as they
derive one from another, in a natural way. For instance, from the phase of sensorial
stimulation we can easily go to dance, and from the expansive state of laughter and
playfulness we can go on slowly to silence and to erotic euphoric contemplation of our
souls.
It is important for us to succeed in integrating them spontaneously in our erotic
life and never see them as a set of exact techniques. That’s why it is necessary to take
into account three adequate attitudes: we should remain focused on attaining the
anticipated effect. For instance, when we dance, we may doubt about our ability of totally
expressing what we want. In this case, it is important to keep permanently in mind the
effect we want to get and the state we want to express, passing over those awkward
moments and resisting temptation of giving up.
The second attitude is that of observing ourselves intimately, being aware of our
own feelings and aspirations in any moment and situation. It is a perfect way in which we
can transform positively any ambiguous situation which may appear. For instance, in the
case of soul contemplation, we may have the feeling of awkwardness and dissatisfaction
because nothing happens, although we pretend that everything is ok. Because we pretend,
this will immediately bring on our disconnection from any sensation. That’s why it is
better to pay attention to what we really feel and after that to look for immediate
remedies, as breathing deeper, modifying the position of our body or talking frankly to
our lover. All these experiences will gradually teach us to feel at a much deeper level.
The third attitude is that of having and manifesting a great curiosity of
experiencing those aspects which can be peculiar for us. For instance, some may consider
that rolling down the floor, cuddling each other, has nothing to do with learning about
erotic ecstasy, and this could be the reason for which we square up to these elements
restrainedly. But we have to take into account that many times our rational minds cannot
find logical explanations to the way in which the methods of awakening and deepening
delicious intimacy that have been previously presented proceed. But if we are disposed to
experience them, then we shall be able to remain deeply relaxed and gradually surpass
our limits, by focusing intensely both on the respective moment and on our purpose.
Intimacy includes all the caring behaviors and shared loving experiences that
foster connection together. As we could see there is a full range of skills necessary for
intimacy to flourish. Training is required to develop these intimacy skills as natural
expressions of one’s personality and love. Consciously expressing our love easily or
sharing in experiences that expand and deepen our love are the proof that intimacy and
soul communion between the two lovers exists.