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If Women Don’t Want To Be Treated as Sex

Objects, Why Do They Dress Provocatively?
‘If you play with fire, you get burned’

Katie Jgln Follow

Oct 20 · 7 min read

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Photo by Petro from AdobeStock

I’ve recently published an article about Emily Ratajkowski accusing Robin Thicke of
sexually assaulting her while filming the music video for ‘Blurred Lines.’

As expected, some men in the comments wrote that given Emily’s ‘sex-based persona’
and her many pictures and videos in ‘various states of undress,’ no one should be
surprised this happened.

Some
For acomments evenour
long time, went as far aswere
bodies to suggest
not that
our‘women
own who sexualize themselves
and use their sexuality for profit and gain should also be held personally responsible
Even though the female body wasn’t always as hypersexualized and objectified as it is
for the consequences of their choices.’
today, it was a topic of continual scrutiny for many centuries.

Because ‘if you play with fire, you get burned,’ right?
In medieval Europe, religious figures saw the female body as dangerous and a
potential stumbling
But can you block
ever blame to men’s
women for salvation. And soeven
being assaulted, women hadwear
if they to cover
littletheir
to noentire
bodies — including
clothing? And can wehair — tojudge
really not ‘corrupt’
women whomalechoose
souls. to use their sexuality as a

method of validation and income in society that routinely tells us our worth equates
But at the beginning of the Renaissance, European men decided it’s time to see some
with our bodies?

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boobs. And impossibly tiny waists. Because why not, right? Organ squeezing corsets
and low-cut dresses that exposed breasts became all the rage. And the French court
even enforced a ban on ‘thick waists’ that lasted over three centuries.

During Victorian times, men once again concluded that women ought to cover their
whole bodies in public. It was no longer appropriate for women to flaunt their bosoms
or other body parts, particularly bare legs. And diagrams were released to clarify what
length of the skirt was suitable for what age.

Societal morality changes over time. Some non-Western cultures never stigmatized
female hair, breasts, legs, or waists. Some did to even a greater extent at times. And
the above are just a few out of many examples of how changing societal attitudes
dictated what women could and couldn’t wear and which parts of their bodies were
sexualized.

But one thing that remains constant across various periods and
patriarchal societies is the assumption that the female body exists, first
and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure, and so it must be
controlled accordingly. That assumption, in turn, stems from the fact that women
themselves were considered to be men’s property, passed from their fathers to
husbands like a prize cow. Yay.

And let’s not forget that men had the legal right to use women’s bodies for sexual and
reproductive purposes as they pleased pretty much up until the late 20th century,
when — thanks to the efforts of the feminist movement — marital rape became illegal.
And women’s bodily autonomy finally started to be treated seriously.

Not everywhere and by everyone — but it was a start.

So what if we’re working the rigged system to our benefit?

Today, women’s bodies are practically everywhere. They are on display in billboards,
movie posters, magazines, and music videos. They are used to sell everything from
chocolate to cars and are often dismembered into parts — breasts, legs, butts.
Sometimes a woman’s body morphs into the product, becoming the bottle of beer or
the shoe. Or it is portrayed as an animal to be tamed.

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And our worth is, sadly, still very much attached to it since women have been
socialized since childhood via millions of micro experiences to believe their looks are
of paramount importance.

But the key difference between today and the past is that women — in some countries
— are free to do with their bodies as they please. We’re no longer as constricted by
rigid social and religious norms dictated by patriarchy as we were even decades ago.
We don’t risk being burned at stake or thrown out in the streets for exposing our
ankles or showing our breasts.

We have the choice now.

And so, some women choose to dress modestly. Some choose to walk around half-
naked. Some choose to stay in-between the two. Some choose to use their bodies to
gain money, fame, or climb the social ladder.

But apparently, that last choice makes some people — ahem, mostly men — mad.

So, let me get this straight. For centuries the female body was either considered
dangerous and heavily demonized, or its parts were oversexualized for a man’s
viewing pleasure to the point of women being forced to cover themselves up or expose
and accentuate specific parts while having no bodily autonomy whatsoever. But the
second women use their bodies to their advantage; all hell breaks loose?

If you’re angry that Emily Ratajkowski or other models, actresses, and celebrities use
their bodies to get ahead in life, your anger is entirely misplaced.

You should be angry that our society persuades women to self-objectify by evaluating
and controlling themselves in terms of their sexual appeal to others rather than their
own health, happiness, and desires. You should be angry that women are constantly
being dehumanized and compared to objects to be groped, harassed, catcalled, and
evaluated. You should be angry that women are reduced to individual pieces — ‘legs,’
‘breasts,’ and ‘butts’ — similar to à la carte items on a restaurant menu.

You should be angry at how utterly fucked up this world is if you happen
to be a woman, not at women who work the rigged system to their benefit.

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But even when women wear revealing clothing, or nothing at all, and pose in sexually
explicit ways, that does not give anyone the right to treat them as sex objects and
assault them.

And that shouldn’t even be up for discussion.

Sexualization and objectification are two different things

There are many reasons why a woman could be wearing an outfit — regardless of how
‘revealing’ it is — that have nothing to do with sexual attention. If that’s shocking to
you, congrats — you’ve just discovered context.

Maybe she’s wearing a low-cut top because she has spent several years being told to
cover herself up — often placing the blame of other people’s desires on her — and now
she can express her autonomy through her outfit. Maybe she is wearing shorts
because she finally has the confidence to show off her legs without feeling ashamed of
her own body. Maybe she is just into the latest fashion trends. Maybe she didn’t even
notice that skirt was that short or that top too revealing.

Maybe she’s just busy being a human living her life.

If you think someone has dressed for sexual attention — and you might be right
sometimes, other times not — keep in mind that sexualization is a matter of
perspective. It takes place in the eye and mind of the observer. But still, perceiving
someone as sexually appealing is not the same as treating them like a sexual object.
Sexually appealing people have thoughts and feelings and rights and agency. Objects
do not.

We shouldn’t be confusing the two — but too often, we are.

That’s because practically every day, we’re bombarded with images and messages
we’ve learned to view as sexual and suggestive, and we’ve been conditioned to
objectify women even in the most non-sexual of contexts.

Just think about it.

Women get sexualized and objectified for being petite. For having big boobs. For

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having big butts. For having big lips. For having tiny feet. For being skinny. For
having curves. For having a certain profession — like a teacher, nurse, or lawyer. For
being of a certain race or ethnicity. For being a virgin. Or a mother. Even for
breastfeeding our kids.

And sure, men get sexualized, too. I don’t deny that. But they are not sexualized and
objectified by mass media to the extent that women are. One psychological study
found that even when people are presented with pictures of men and women in
sexualized poses, wearing a swimsuit or underwear, they tend to objectify women —
not men.

In other words, women tend to be perceived as objects, and men…as humans.

Women are more than just bodies

Everyone’s definition of ‘appropriate’ is different. Everyone’s. We can go back and
forth all day about how we personally feel women should represent themselves. But
them failing to meet your standards doesn’t make it acceptable for you to treat them
inappropriately.

Women deserve respect and to be treated with dignity regardless of what they wear
and how they portray themselves.

Yes, that also includes women who voluntarily sign up to be portrayed as objects and
accept huge paychecks in return. Now, I wouldn’t go as far as to claim that’s the
ultimate empowering act since women who choose that path are usually at the mercy
of others’ — usually men’s — preferences, appetites, and money. It’s more of a faux
power than actual power, really.

But until we’re living in a truly egalitarian society where women are taken seriously
regardless of our looks, we shouldn’t judge women for milking this messed-up system
for all it’s worth. It’s their bodies, their lives, and their business.

And instead of focusing on a few individuals, how about we focus on social norms that
perpetuate this relentless sexualization and objectification of women’s bodies and

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acknowledge that many industries blatantly profit off it? Because girls and women
suffer in very literal ways when sexualized female bodies inundate our media
landscape. And that’s not something that is going to go away on its own.

It is not impossible to cut objectifying media out of our visual diets and re-train our
minds to see each other as more than our physical appearance.

Because women are more than just bodies. Men are more than their
bodies, too. We are all thinking, feeling humans who can view ourselves
and each other as such — even if those humans are showing more skin
than what we deem as inappropriate.

And when we can see more than just bodies in ourselves and others, we
have the opportunity to be more.

Isn’t that why we’re here, anyway?

If you like my work and want to support it, buy me a cup of coffee! For more of my
content, check out my other social media platforms.

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