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Social Media: It’s Changing Us, It’s Comparing Us, It’s Up To Us

Abbey M. Schwab

Pittsburg State University

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Social Media: It’s Changing Us, It’s Comparing Us, It’s Up To Us

Would our ancestors from a hundred years ago be able to communicate and understand

our world today? We live in an ever-changing society. Just when we think we have mastered and

gained popularity on one social media app; another one comes out a week later. We have lost

what makes face to face communication so valuable, and that’s the ability to read other people’s

facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, posture, and energies. Instead, we rely on likes, pokes,

waves, filters, snaps, streaks, tweets, and views to fuel our incessant need for love, attention, and

approval. We are not creating generations that thrive on human contact; we are creating

generations that thrive on hand to phone contact.

The article on Thrive Global’s website talks about the ways social media is negatively

affecting our mental health as a world. “Today, over 3.2 billion people use social media actively

around the globe. This number represents about 42% of total world’s population” (Constantin

2019 para. 2). The number of individuals that use social media grows by the day. Individuals are

not just using one social media account but multiple social media accounts.

It also talks about the positives of using social media. It has helped our online businesses

to expand, and it allows us to stay in contact with distant friends and family. The article suggests

that there are more negatives to social media than positives. Individuals on average spend over

two hours a day, while others are spending more than five hours a day, connected to social media

outlets.

The article lists eight ways social media is negatively affecting our lives. Number one, it

is addictive. It is the first thing we check in the morning and the last thing we check at night. It is

also one of the biggest reasons people are involved in road accidents, whether it involves a
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vehicle or a pedestrian. Number two, it leads to low self-esteem issues. Research has shown the

more time you spend on social media, the lower your self-esteem gets.

Number three, it causes you to feel lonely and isolated. When you look at pictures of

others and their happy life, it makes you question the value of your own life. Number four, it

leads to anti-social behavior. When you’re spending all your time online, you never get out and

have human contact. Number five, it can lead to obesity and unhealthy snacking. Social media

can distract you and cause you to overeat, and if you are online all the time, you never get out to

exercise.

Number six, you could experience cyberbullying. When you lose the face to face contact,

people say things they would not otherwise say. Number seven, social media triggers sadness.

You’re more likely to find less satisfaction and happiness in your own life, when you spend too

much time on social media. Number eight, too much time on social media can lead to depression.

“Researchers believe that the use of social media contributes to the rising cases of depression

around the world. In the United States, the suicide rate has grown nearly 25% since 1999”

(Constantin 2019 para. 11).

Although the article talks mainly on the negative effects of social media, its final words

state that the positive impact of social media is abundant. It gives businesses advantages, as well

as, shining the light on injustices and things happening around the world. Maybe the likes and

views are not pointless; maybe they carry significant weight.

I completely agree with the article. I have grown up in the technological age that we live

in now, and social media has always been a part of my life. I have felt both the positive and
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negative effects of social media that the article addresses. Social media is changing the brains of

my generation and others.

We are constantly logging on and comparing ourselves to other’s bodies, lifestyles,

relationships, and beauty. Depression and low self-esteem are inevitable repercussions when all

we ever see on social media is the very best side of what others have to offer. We base our worth

off how many likes, comments, and views we get on a photo; a photo we spent hours picking,

editing, and filtering. This generation and future generations will always be faced with the

question, “Am I good enough?” We must teach our youth that social media does not define them.

Social media is a gateway to the world, but is it closing the door to the everyday world

we live in? We know social media has its positive and negative effects on our lives, but what we

are not realizing is how it is changing our world. It is affecting the way we interact with others

and ourselves. We are constantly comparing ourselves and our lives to the highlight reel that

others post to their social media accounts. If we subtract the comparison aspect of social media,

would the negative effects on our mental health disappear?

The article I chose from Elite Daily talks about the social comparison theory and how it

applies to social media and mental health. The social comparison theory is the idea that we base

our own self-worth on other people and how they compare to us. The article says that when we

bring social media into our lives, where we already compare ourselves to others, we are destined

to be unhappy. Although, life without social media is unimaginable to our generation.

“We have become so focused and so obsessed with creating the perfect digital versions of

ourselves that we forget to nurture ourselves in the real, three-dimensional world” (Tanney 2015

para. 8). Elite Daily talks about the idea of smiling depression. Smiling depression is where we
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let the outside world see that we are “happy”, but inside we are anything but happy. The pressure

from social media is turning our generation into fake humans that compare until they are no

longer happy with their real lives.

Social media has opened the door for us to see every moment of everyone else’s lives.

This allows us to see aspects of individual’s lives we would never otherwise have a chance to

see. This creates insecurities. “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our

behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” (Tanney 2015 para. 15). We cannot

compare our lives to the perfect moments that others share. No one can live up to a “perfect” life.

If you think that social media is not pushing us to be perfect, just look at the multitude of

filters, editing tools, and touchup apps they promote to their users. The article talks about a study

done on how browsing social media, specifically Facebook, affected women’s moods. The study

showed that after women had looked on Facebook, they felt dissatisfied with their body, face,

and overall appearance. They had an increased desire to change themselves after they compared

themselves to how others looked on social media. Is there a way to use social media that

positively influences us?

Elite Daily says the best way to get your mind out of the comparison trap is to remember

we are all distinctly unique. No one person is the same as the next. We all must understand and

accept our differences as good instead of bad. When we take ownership of who we are and

celebrate it, is where the comparison trap has no rule over our lives anymore. We need to learn to

be proud of other people and their lives, as well as, our own. Daniela Tempesta said, “The art of

what makes life awesome and interesting is learning from the talents of others. Instead of trying

to be as good as or better than others, focus your energy on being the very best version of

yourself.”
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Our generation, including myself, could not even imagine not having social media at our

fingertips. Yes, we do the occasional social media cleanses, but what is that really teaching us? It

teaches us that we may not need social media to survive, but as soon as we realize we do not

need it, our cleanse is over. We start our bad habits of reliance on social media all over again.

I am guilty of constantly comparing myself to other females on social media. It has

caused me to suffer from negative body image and overall dissatisfaction with who I am, on the

outside. That is what I find interesting. Social media rarely tells me the lie that my personality,

kindness, love, knowledge, and support are not enough. It does, however, tell me the constant lie

that my physical appearance and material possessions are not enough.

Social media has the tendency to only show who we are on the outside, rather than the

inside. We just mindlessly scroll through Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat looking with our

eyes at how others have it better than us, but we cannot look with our eyes and see their hearts,

personalities, and kindness through a screen. We need face to face contact to truly know the best

parts of people.

Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others on social media? If anything, we

should be comparing ourselves more when we engage with individuals face to face. Scrolling

through social media does not hold us accountable though. It allows us to judge and critique

ourselves and others when no one else is around. Often, we use social media at our most

vulnerable and insecure times, hoping to find validation and assurance from an online world only

to come back again to fill up our cup of assurance and acceptance. Social media never fulfils, it

only leaves you craving more than you did before.

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I believe one reason we find ourselves in the social comparison trap is because we were

never taught that humans are so much more than a pretty face, a great body, or a high paying job.

Those are all great things, but that is not what makes a person who they are. Their identity should

stem from their beliefs and attributes on the inside. That is the biggest downfall of social media;

It tells us that outward and physical things are what is most important in life. Let’s start praising

others for who they are instead of what they have.

We know that social media is affecting our body image, self-confidence, satisfaction with

life, communication skills, and our ability to connect with others. The question is what are social

media giants like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat doing about the problems? For a

long time, the answer was nothing, but recently we have seen a slight change in how they are

approaching the effects on mental health.

Instagram has taken the first steps in “helping our mental health”. Instagram has decided

to start testing out the idea of removing visible likes to your followers. Users will be able to see

how many likes they have received but others will not. They have been doing this in other

countries, but this is the first time they are testing this idea out in the United States. The idea is to

turn the focus back on the content being posted and enjoyed, rather than how popular your post

is. Research has shown that Instagram has the most negative impact on our mental health out of

all the social media platforms, so it is interesting that they are the first to take a step towards

healthier social media.

How much of an impact will we see on our mental health by removing visible likes? An

article written by Esquire argues that Instagram does not have our best interest at heart. “If

Instagram's parent company, Facebook, is serious about undoing the negative effects of its

platform, why is it so reluctant to police Facebook Live?” (Ovenden 2019 para. 7) They argue
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that Facebook allowed unmonitored Facebook Lives to take place for nearly a year before they

stopped allowing their users to broadcast things such as murders, abuse, and sexual assaults.

The article also argues that removing likes will not take away toxic comments, chalked

up posts, and oversharing of our lives. It begs the question, what is all of this about? “Perhaps

because – and we're heading out on a limb here – it's about cash, not your mental health.”

(Ovenden 2019 para. 8) Instagram says they are not worried about possibly losing money over

the removing of likes, but instead, are more worried about their user’s mental health. All this to

say, brands use those visible likes to chose “influencers” that best represent their brand, and it is

all dependent on how popular their content is. It is safe to say, Instagram will lose money. Not

only that, but influencers will be less likely to influence their followers. Likes on Instagram carry

a lot of weight, but maybe they carry too much weight even for non-influencers.

The article asks the question why now? Why did Instagram and its parent company

Facebook suddenly decide to take an interest in their user’s well-being? “Call us cynical, but

Facebook has been so reticent about no-brainers like protecting democracy, or shielding children

from harmful content, that it seems an odd volte-face for it to suddenly sacrifice profit for

happiness. It's not too big a stretch to imagine there's more going on here than the (long overdue)

moral awakening of social media.” (Ovenden 2019 para. 10) The article ends by saying there are

so many other things that Instagram needs to do if they truly want to change the negative effects

social media has on our mental health.

Apple has also taken measures to help us combat our addictions to our phones which is

the biggest outlet to the use of social media. About a year ago, they introduced the weekly

summary of your screen time. Apple also allows you to set a time limit on the use of certain apps

which is geared towards limiting the time you spend on social media. You set a time limit, and
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your phone will notify you when you are getting close to your set limit. Once you have hit your

limit for the day, your phone will stop sending you notifications from that app. If you open the

app, it will alert you that you have hit your limit, but there is a convenient option to “ignore

limit”. What is this time limit actually doing? Anything?

An article from The Atlantic explains that this does nothing for user’s addiction to

mindlessly scrolling through their social media apps. “Screen Time still makes sidestepping the

limitation too easy. It’s possible to set an app-limit password, but that just adds one more layer of

self-flagellation to the nuisance: failure and guilt rather than uncomfortable triumph” (Bogost

2019 para. 16). Apple’s Screen Time idea was a good attempt at trying to take away the negative

effects that their users have from using their phones and social media to an unhealthy extent, but

it fails to realize that a notification that can be ignored will not solve our problems. “Screen Time

does offer something truly useful: It serves as a reminder that, for now, every glance, swipe, or

tap is duplicitous—improving daily life even as it also makes it worse” (Bogost 2019 para. 18).

Social media is complicated. It offers us so much, but are the negative effects worth the

temporary pleasures it offers us? Social media giants like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and

Snapchat are not doing much to help their users with the negative mental health issues their apps

are causing them. That leads me to the question of whether the social media platforms are the

problem, or are society and the way we use them the real problem? Sure, the platforms show us

things like ads and popular content, but that is not the majority of what we see on our feeds and

timelines. We are the ones who use the app. We are the ones who allow others to see certain

things in our lives. We are the ones who continue to log in and mindlessly scroll. We are the

ones who continue to follow, friend, view, like, and snap people that are not beneficial to our

mental health. It’s up to us to change our future. It is not up to big companies that are trying to
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make money and promote their agendas. We must learn what we should and should not allow

into our lives. If we want to see true change in how social media effects our happiness in life,

body image, and communication skills, we must start making changes in our own lives. The real

problem lies within us. Let’s log off and instead log into our real lives.
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References:

Bogost, I. (2019). I Tried to Limit My Screen Time. Retrieved from

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/09/why-apple-screen-time-mostly-makes-

things-worse/597397/

Constantin, G. (2019). The Ways Social Media Negatively Affects Your Mental Health -

Thrive Global. Retrieved from https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-ways-social-media-

negatively-affects-your-mental-health/

Tanney, A. (2019). Social Comparison Theory: How Our Social Media Habits Make Us

Unhappy. Retrieved from https://www.elitedaily.com/life/media-affects-self-worth/1055695

Ovenden, O. (2019). Why Is Instagram Removing Likes? It's Probably Not To Help Your

Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.esquire.com/uk/design/a29768558/instagram-

removing-likes-facebook/