Table of Contents

l. Recovery from TurmoU

2. Emotiooal Embrace
3. Flrst Church
4. Paln Perspeetíves
S. Heallog Ageots
6. Closlog & Decrees

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the NE\V A1'.ifERJCAN STANDARD
BffiLE®, Copyright{) 1960, 1962, 1963,1968,1971, 1972, 1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lcckman
Foundation. Used by permlssicn (www.Lockman.org).

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from thc KJNG 1Afl.1ES VERSION (KN): KfNú JA!vtES
VERSlON,
public domain.

Scdptures marked A~'ÍP are.taken from the A!vfPLTFIED BIBLE (AMP): Scripture taken from thc
AMPLIFIED® BIBLE, Copyright{) 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lcckman
Foundation. Used by pennission (www.Lockman.org].
Recovery from Turmoil

Peace J leave with you; My [perfect] peace 1 give to you; nor as the wcrld gives do J
give to you. Do not Jet your heart be rroubled, nor Jet it be afraid. (Let My perfectpeace
calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength fer every challenge. J
-John 14:27, AMP

Jesus wes speaking to His dísciples as they were wrestling with che realiry of His
impending deparrure. Their human minds could not understand how He could be
removed from their presence, and they could effecrively carry on after He teñ. He reassured
them about the Holy
Spirit's role in their lives when He makes the stunning statements in this verse.

He declares that He provídes a supematuraJ level and realm of peace, but not as the world
gives. This rest in Jesus eradicates the operaucn of fear in out hearts, which includes out mind,
our will, and our emorions. In fact, He refers to His peace as a perfectpeace.

The disuncrion berween this perfect peace and che peace che world gives is that wortdy peace is
circumstantial; human peace ebbs and flows based on our natural circumstances and
conditions. There is a much deeper place of internal rest that is available to us as believers. In
this verse, Jesus wes challenging our human understanding by inviting us into a place of
divine presence.
Simply put, where the presence ofthe Lord abides, so does His peace. Let me say it another
way, the absence ofpeace is the confinnation ofa Jack ofHis presence.

One of the marks of our Christian living and experience should be a calmness, a res t. \Ve sbould
be a people whc move in Him and through Him. Peace should be one of the guideposts of
out lives. We cñee talk about the Holy Spirit leading us thrcugh signs and wonders, dreams
and visions, but there is another mechanism of divine guidance called peace. When we are in
[he
midst ofthe "..¡11 ofGod, abiding in His presence, there is an indescribable serenity.

Ler me share with you one of my personal experieoces witb recovery from emotional pain. J
was on a trip, preacbing in a foreign nation, just concluding a powerful, exhausting time cf
ministry. My gracious hosts bad prepared a phenomenal meal in an inspiring outdoor venue, a
welccming sight after socn ministry, 1 went into my room to quíckty change after preaching,
being hor and sweaty. As 1 ente.red che room, my phone \\'a& ringing \\<ith a c-.all trom rhe United
Scates. 1 pic.ked up the phone, expecting a brief phone c-.all, but \Yhar I received \Vas life-
chang.ing ne\VS.

2
One of my most trusced associates, a person 1 had released inro minisrry and shared a deep
and personal relarionship \\<ith, \Vas on the Jine. They infonned me oftheir resignation and
intent to

3
do something with the potenrial to bring great damage to our ministry. \Vithout going into
too many details, this conversatíon was the beginning of a season of immeasurable agony
and
lite-changing lessons.

1 remember heading off to the airpcrt che next day with my head filled with trauma tic
ihougbts and emotions. 1 was in a luxurious airport lcunge when l calted my wife to discuss
this
life-atreríng news. As we were talking, emotíons swelled in me like a mighry river. 1 began to
sob. J ran to the back of che lounge to escape the presence of people. This spontaneous eruprion
c.aughc me off guard as I'm typically a person very much in command of my emotions. l was
shocked and frustrated chat 1 wes out of control emctionally in front of a group of srrangers.
The
comforring voice cf my wife on the other end told me to release what J was feeling in that
moment without shame. This moment began a remarkable joumey. What seemed like a
challenging defeat tumed into an opportunity for astounding growth in my emotional
and spiritual life.

Now, years añer these rumulruous events, not only am 1 in a much bener place, but I'm
actually thankful for the relationsbip shíñs that unfclded. These events, which were so
dramatic and painful at che time, became a catalyst for grcwth in my life. The change was not
aurornatic; it
was a result of my decisión to invite che Holy Spirit into che midst of my heartache. Many times,
the enemy uses our grief as a mechanism to tie us to bondage. The presence of pain is the
confirmation oflife. Dead bodies and organísms no tonger feel pain, bue the living will always
experience sorne measure of ir, In many ways, we should thank God for che pain as it is
evidence that we are still alive and incentive for change.

Sorne ofus may have suffered pain and then over-reacted by building walls to hold people on
the cutside, in an attempt to protecr curselves from more misery. 1 think this can be prevalent in
the lives of ministers and leaders who have not processed their pain in a healthy way. J speak
from experience. J have deñnítely been that type of leader in times past, Many times in my life, 1
simply suppressed what 1 was feeling in the name of strength. 1 followed this reckless
path\vay for a number ofyears, misraking numbness for endurance. While rm cenainly not
advocating allowing your emotions to dictate your decisions or belief syste.m, 1 do belie\'e that
embracing and expressing your emotions is critica) to the human expe.rience.

Leaders often hun in silence. They are commended for rheir cough e.xterior, whic-h can be a
covtt for a deeply "'ounded soul There must be a balance ofhonest living, sc.riprural adherence,
and deep reliance on Jesus a.~ our Healer. The reality is chat shepherds bleed rhe same as sheep.
Both groups ofindj\riduals experie.nce rurbulence inside and ourside ofthe c-hurch. To painr a
false picrure of a Chriscjan utopia only sets people up for pain.
In my 0\\'11 process, the Spirit of the Lord began to take me back in time and show me hO\V 1
had mishandled my pain. j'm going to be extremely honest; the entire joumey was a grear
challenge
to me.. Early on, 1 knew 1 not onty had to forgive, but 1 also had to recover. There is a difference
between forgiveoess and recovery. Sometimes people choose to forgive, but they stay stuck ar
the point oftheir last disappointment. 1 was detennined not to aJIO\V the enemy to box me in
through the crisis 1 was facing. J was also determined to find the footprims of the Lord in every
season of my life, both good and bad. 1 do not escribe eve.ry occurrence to the will ofGod, for 1
understand that sorne ihings are demonio and sent from che pies of hell. Wich that in mind, J also
realize ic is God who wcndrcusty takes what the devit meanc for harm and rurns it around for my
good.

My rurbulent journey led me to love God in a new and fresh way. Jt led meco get to know
myself in a sense that 1 had not been able to for most of my years in the ministry. l[ also allowed
me to change my perspecuve on both humanity and ministry, to have a more grecious approach
to dealing with conflict. To make a ve.ry long story short, it was and still is a process of recovery
for me. 1 have learned to enjoy each and every moment, inviring the peace that Jesus promised
me
into the midst of my siruations. Today J am ccnvinced that rm better both as a person anda
leader because of these tumultuous events.

As much as J would like to think J would never go tbrough such a thing again, that thought is
simply misleading. One key in recovering from pain and trauma is a realistic set of expectatíons
anda proper wortdview, The church was never meant to be a place filled with whcíe people. Jt
was and is a place where broken people assemble, and the onty one who is perfect is Jesus
Himsetf. Understanding and believing this demands a leve) of grace in dealing with other
people. lt is chat mature perspective that actually sets pain in its proper position and enables
healing.
Emotional Embrace

And David was dancing before the Lord with ali hls strength, and David was wearing a
linea ephod. -2 Samuel 6: 14

David was passionate both emotionally and spiritually. In fact, it was the passion of David that
\\'OUJd be one of the greai catalysts of promotion in bis life, but also che trapdoor that would
cause him to sink into sin. After ali, even at the end of'his life, David "'ªS still struggling wuh
lust for the opposite sex. This seeming contradicucn is simply human reality. In our ñesb,
we often have ñaws that strive to define us. Yet, we have a born-again spirit man chat
houses divinity and carnes che narure of our Father. Many times, there is a war between these
two realities, which was the case for David.

As David was bringing the arle back to the people of God, he danced and gave God glory
with everytbing tbat was within him. His wife did not understand bis wild, intensely personal
expression of adoration. David did not rry to suppress bis emotions in the name of ministry
strengih. He allowed an exuberant expressíon ofbis feelings, bis adoratíon, and bis animde
toward bis God.

This exuberance ofDavid brought che bold faith demonstrated ihrough bis life ar the slaughtering
of Goliath. When everybody else was paralyzed with fear, David was contident in bis God! His
youthful exhilaration served him well in thac defining momem. After ali, we might have eever
known about David were it not for the presence of a Goliatb. Often the g.iancs we run from are
acrually our stepping stones into greater desriny. OUr emotions are not sent to derail us, but in
facr, sent as a vehicte fer the expression of passion.

\Ve must understand that emotions are gifts from God. In healing and recovery from pase pain
of church hurt, we must not disregard our emotions. They are facilitators of our lífe
experiences.
\Vhen God moves upon us, our emotions display what we are experiencing at chat moment,
\Vhen rragedy strikes, our tears act as agents of healing to re tease a seemiogty unbearable
borden. \Vben a great celebranon ora milestone occurs in our lite, our smile announces to the
wcrtd thac we are happy. Without emorions, human beings would be robotic. \Ve need to
thank God for our emetíons and allow their expression in our lives.

But \Vben He, the Spirit oftruth, comes, He will guide you into ali the cruth; for J·le \Vill
not speak on His O\\'ll, but "'hatever He bears, He \Vill speak; and He \\'1ll disclose co
you
\\•hat is to come. -John 16: 13

\Ve are co e-.mbrace our emotions, but \Ve are also co govem them. The Bible tells us chat \Ve are
to
be led by the Spirit ofthe Lord. His Spirit \Vill be confirmed by His \vticten Word. As \Ve follO\\'
s
Jesus, we will move into the truth of Gcd's Word. There are times that the leading of our inner
man and the Word of God will conrradicteverything around us. In chose moments, our
emotions may cry to manifest contrary to the reality ofthe promise ofGod. This is when we
muse stand upen the \\'ord ofGod and the leading ofthe Hoty Spirit to bombard our emotions
with truth.

There is a great balancing act that must take place. The Creator Himself made our emotions to
faciluate the experiences of life. Removing the permíssion to feel is the disallowance of
momeatary existence. \Vithouc feeling, we are simpty not living. In embracing tha[ reality, we
must also embrace another: God's Word and Spirit trump every emorional experience. So, it is
our responsibility as mature believers to üve in a place founded upon God's promíses. \Ve
boldty stand on His Word, decreeing what 1-Je said, despite our circumstances. We also ellow
curselves to be human, which means to feel and experience.

You may have endured a fonn oftrauma or abuse months or even years ago. Perhaps you
grew up in a home where you had to hold it together as a child, which taught you a false
reality. Emorions weee seen as something to be feared rather than to be embraced. Now, when
pain comes to your life, you neatly fold it up and ruck ic into a box. The probtem is rhat
what's in the box will eventually begin 002ing out in a toxic form. How it manifests depends
on your own personality, le may come forrh in the fonn of self-deprecation. le may come forrh
in bitter judgmeats towards others. lt may come forth in self-loathing. le may come forth in
unnarural self-defense to other's opinions. lt may come forth in expressions of anger, The truth
is sornewhere, somebow, and at some pcint, what you buried will come to the surface.

1 want you to stop right here and pender rhe trurh thac you are both spirit and flesh. You cannot
function in a robotic fashion suppressing what you may be feeling, as this leads to emctional
toxicity. You were born to feeland experience; ic is normal and healthy for you to have
emotions.
Having embraced this tnnb, you also need to understand thac the Word ofGod is the supreme
authority in your life. Therefore, refuse to alíow your emotions to overwhelm the \\<lll ofGod
for you.

6
First Church

Now the serpent was more cunning than any animal of the field which the Lord God
had made. And he said to the wcman, "Has God really said, 'You shall not eat from any
tree ofthe garden'?"
The \V Oman said to che serpent, "From the fruit of che trees of the garden we may
eacbut
from the fruit ofche tree which is in the middle ofthe garden, God has said, 'You
shall
not eat from it or toucb ít, or you will die.'
"
The serpent said to the woman, "You certainly will not
die!
Fer God knO\VS that on the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you
will become like God, knowing good and evil."
\Vhen che women saw that the tree was good for food, and thac it was a delight to
the
eyes, and chat che tree was desirable to make one wise, she took sorne of its fruit and ate;
and she also gave some to her husband wirh her, and he
ate.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and
they sewed ñg leaves togerher and made themselves waist coverings. - Génesis 3: 1-
7

Adam and Eve were living in a state of perfect existence, God had created a garden for them
filled with serenity, providing for their every need, His ultimate goal for mankind was to have
unfetrered access and fellowship with Him. In bis extremely devious manner, Satan decided he
would alter the idenrity ofAdam and Eve and disrupr God's good plans for them. He came
with deception and temptarion. Unfortunatety, Adam and Eve bcught the lie.

Ler me give you another perspective on this foundarional story. 1 believe it is a picrure ofthe
ver¡ first church ever to exisr. God Himself was the Pastor with only two membersl God led
Adam and Evel He was the greatest Sbepherd who ever lived. Even with Godas the Pastor,
the church went through a rumultuous splitl

\Vhen God was absent from their presence fer a mere moment, they tumed to their own lusts
and desires. This same pattern has held true throughout rhe ages. Wesee it in thejoumey
ofMoses as he climbs the mountain into the glory ofGod. He returns to tind bis disciples
engaged in a revolring pagan worship. They had experienced the radie.al sig.ns and wonders of
their loving Father delivering them from Egyptian bondage. Yet, the mo1nent their Jeader \\'as
not giving
them the attention and ove.rsight they craved, they turned to the lusrful deception oftheir own
tlesh.

\Ve see the saine pattem in the apostolic 1ninistry of Paul Time and again he has co write co
the churches that he ove.rsees \\'atning the.m of deceptive leaders and their teac.hing. His
physical abse.nce fro1n the1n opened up complaining, inurmuring, and deception.
One of the íssues with cburch pain is our perception. Sometimes we go into relarionsbips
inside of the church with rhis uropían concept. \Ve think because peo ple are serving God, they
will be perfect. Our expectation of the organizatíonat and relational srructure is one of peace
and seeeniry. We think that because people are saved, their altitudes and emotíons are perfected,
This is simply an unrealistic expectarion and a false reality.

Here's another example: Jesus hada church with twelve essential members. \Ve can ihem the
diseiples or the apostles. He ministered to the masses, hadan inner core of disciples, but He
pastored or intimately leda small group of twelve. Judas, amongst those twelve, would
become
the ultimare betrayer of Jesus, leading to His crucifixión. NO\\', ifwe look at rhis from a
leadersbip dynamic, ü's very dísrressing. One of Jesus' twelve church members secretly
maneuvered against Him and then betrayed Him. Jf Jesus went through a church split and
drama, what makes us chink we will be immune to human behaviors and demonic temptaticns?

Apan from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of coecern for all the
churches.- 2 Corinthians 11 :28

The Apostle Paul \VTOte about his apostolíc joumey and mentioned the daily pressure ofhis
care forthe churches under his leadership. While certainly there were crganizaticnal struggles
and spiritual baúles, 1 also believe Paul was writing abouc the persooaliry conñicts and
relational challenges chat happened in the church. \Vhy is this imporrant to understand'! Because
too oñen, we mcve into church membersbip cr leadership wirh expectations thac are ímpossíble
to meet. These unmet expectatíons can crea te a channel of torment and pain, easüy closed by
realigning our expectarions.

In each ofthese examples, J am simply showing you the reality ofhumanity. We will always
have relationsbip challenges. There will be ñghts and splits among people, including leaders.
There will be leadership failures and breaches ofrrust. Leaders will feel betrayed and
wounded by those they lead,

In the midst of ali of these dramas, there is a perfect King whcse name is Jesus! lt is He whc
has never lose a banle. Jt is He who is unwavering in His convienen oftruth. Jt is He whose
character is perfect. lt is He whose mind is resolute. Jt is He \\•ho is able to lead us in a manner
chat is
nothing shon: ofperfeccion! One ofthe steps to healing is redirecting our focos ofrhose who
have disappointed or hun us, releasing the1n from our O\Yn unrealistic expectations! Above ali,
it is putring our eyes back on Jesus, \\•ho is the Author and Finisher of our faith.
\Ve should be a member of che Lord's churc.h because of 1-lis sacrifice for us at Cat·vaty and
liis perfect leadership in our lives. Vle should be sober minded in a.~sessing che reality that
huinan
beings are flawed and complex. Relationships will be chatlenging and messy. Disappcinrmems
"'111 come in our connection to other human beings and organizauons. Seasons v.'111 shift and
change with the ebb and ílow of humaniry and divinity. Crises will rise and fall based on che
culrure and climate of the day. Administrative and organízational challen ges will be in the
midst of'the people ofGod. Yet, there is an unwavering and unfailinghand leading and guiding
us threughoutali of'these realities. lt is Jesus Christ who is the Head ofthe church, the
begirming and the end, the Alpha and Omega! le is He in whom we must put our trust. lt is He
in whcm we
must place our conñdence. lt is He in whom we must release our pain. lt is He in whom we
must take our refuge!
Pain Perspectives

1 want to rake a moment to address cburch pain from twc very differentperspectives. Let
me begin by examíning some of rhe pains rhat a leader may experience.

Oneofthe tirstpains that 1 believe leaders may experience is that of disappointment.Frequentl'y

1 have found chis to be rhe resultof an improper definition in relationships. The
relationship between a leader and those they Jead most often fits into the category of a
transactional relationship, which means rhat the relationship hinges on the exchange of
something. In this
case, as a spirituaJ leader, the relationship rests on the deposirs made into the lives of those
we're leading. Many leaders struggle with their destre to feel loved by other people. They want
the peopte they lead to )ove them for whc they are, not what they bring to the table. This
expectation is immeture and unfulfilled in most cases.

1 have seen men and women lead churches dutifully for many years, onty to have it end in
shipwreck. The congregarion that expressed undying love and loyaJty abandoned rhem during a
time of crisis for the leader. Thcse you are leading may leave when you're experiencing a
health crisis, a family crisis, or any calamity that precludes you frcm deposuing into their lives
as they deem necessary. J-\t the core ofthe issue líes the disappoiotmeot ofthe congregation.
They feh as though their leader was no tonger contributing to their life; iberefore, chey leñ. The
reality that every leader must understand is that the majority oftheir relationships will be
rransacrional.They "'111 have to seek out other retauonships with family, friends, and peers to
fulfill Jevels of emotional need. Ackncwledging and understanding the type of retatíonship you
have with people empowers you fer spiritual and emotienal success. When you lead people, you
are conrributíng
to their tives. Their connection to you is related to their perceived reception of what you're
depcsiting.

Leaders atso feel the common sting of isclation, loneliness, and being misunderstood at times.
The very act of leadersbip means that you will walk alone or with few around you. Your
ability to see something chat needs to be built in a "'ªY that others can not see, and your
unwavering commitment to creare \Vhat you've seen, snakes for you co often stand alone.

\Vhen leaders go chrough splits or people leave their organization, they may feel attac.ked or
unfairly persecuted. The reality is that chese feelings are oftenjustifted. Jt is acc.eptable to
recognize chese feelings and to g.ive yourself time to deal and beal fro1n the1n. What you don't
"'ant to do is bury and disallow chem. You also don't want to magnify chem or make chem
your primary focus, whic.h traps many hurt leaders and contaminates their view ofGod and
His people. NO\V that \\•e have addressed leaders, let's talk ofthose \Vho hold attendance or
membe.rship.
As a member, artendee, or participaet in any facer ofthe global and local church, you will
experience pain at times. Let me state unequívocatty that l believe Gcd wants to raise up healthy
leaders, people, families, and expressions of His kingdom. 1 do not believe any human being
should be an objec[ of ccntinued abuse in the church. However, J believe [hat che normal
process of structural and organizauonal growth means that you will face some interna! and
externa] challenges.

You may have found yourself the subjec[ of'toxic leadership. lt's tmpcrtant to understand that
toxic leaders are not bom; they are formed. Through their own unprocessed pain,
dysfunction, and wrong thinking, they have learned che use of control, maniputation, or abuse.
Sometimos
when you've come ou[ of an abusive atmosphere where a leader controlled, dominated, or
abused
you, there is a need to go through some healing and deliverance. The revelation that suc.h
behavior from a leader is not acceptable is the first step to recovery. Correcuon is necessary and
biblical, but i[ must be done in love. One ofthe manifestations oflove is the ability to speak the
truth coa person in a m.anner intended to help them. lt is not bearing a person down or
subjecñag them to a barrage of insulta. These behaviors are the actions of an unhealthy perscn.
One of the enswers is healthy boundaries. When you deal with so meone coming from a place
of toxiciry, you must draw boundaries in the retauonship.

Church pain comes from bad experiences with peers you've met and kncwn in church. J think
we have to be honest and say that our expectarions of people are often too hígh, We may have
joined a church expecung others to fulfill unmet needs we hadas children or young people. This
expecration becomes a burden upon people who had no role in our past, yet we look to them in
out present to fulflll sometbing lacking. This is a completety unrealisric assumption leading ro
more pain. Somerimes we need to recalibrare out thinking and dernands upon oihers. \\'e need to
strive for wholeness and health in our own emotions through a relationship and dependence on
Jesus, che Head of the church.
Healing Agents

1 could write an entire book just on our experiences in and out of the church with other
believers. l'm sure as you're reading these wcrds, your own traumas and pains are ccming to
memory, l want to move into some answers and solutions for your heating.

t. Foeus
... looking only at Jesus, the originator and perfecter of the faith, whc for the joy set
before Him enduredche cross, despising the shame, and has sat dcwn at che righr hand
of the throneof God. - Hebrews 12:2

Some years ago, the Lord first stan:ed dealing wuh me about teaching and preaching on
emorional healing. 1 shared scriptures and points; people would respond, but then 1 didn't
know what to do. l asked the lord,"HO\V do you want me to minister to these people?" He
said, "Simpty lead chem to Me as their Healer!"

1 realized that one of the major steps to healing church pain and emotionaJ trauma is to invite
the wonderful ministry of Jesus into out midst, When che enemy sends pain to paralyze you, he
does so with an intent to break your focus. lfyou can put your eyes upon the PerfectOne and
invite
His healing power into che trauma, His virme will begin to flcw like a river, and you will be
healed.

2. üeuveeaece
And the news about Him spread throughout Syria; and they brought to Him ali whc
were ill, those suffering wirh various diseases and severe pain, demon-possessed, people
with epilepsy, and people whc were paratyzed; and He healed them. - Matthew 4:24

Deliverance, a malti-faceted ministry of Jesus, is an important part of the process of recovery.

Many times, through pain and trauma, demons atcach themselves to different aspects of our
llves.
\Ve may need help from a faith-filled minister to break these tbings off of us and expel the
demons. Another crirical aspect of deliverance is the renunciation ofword curses and spirituaJ
agreements. le is a frequent occurrence when people have been through great pain to say
tbings permitting demonio entities to attach. Our mouths are gateways of power. We have to
renounce those agreements and slam the doors shut to the devil! Not ali deliverances are
dramatic: sorne are quite peacefuJ and calm. Jt's a marter of praying and closíng the breaches.
Atler we have closed doors, there \\'111 be a process of renewing out minds and taking the
medicine of God's
\Vord as a healing agent.
3. Heallng
He sent His word and healed them,
And saved them from their destruction. - Psalm 107:20

Jesus has a remarkable healing ministry. Past wounds can be healed in a single moment in
His presence. There is no way you can overestimate the imponance ofrhe anointing ofthe
Holy
Spirit and the pcwer of God in your life. We must be intentional abouc bringing rhese áreas of
our
minds, our hearts, and our emotions to the Lord and inviring His presence into rhe áreas of
pain. Prayer is the gateway by which we let God in so that His presence permeates our minds
and emorions.

4. Truth
reses said to him, "J am che "'ªY·and the rruth, and che life; no one comes to the Father
except through Me. - John 14:6

The devil's nature is that he is a liar. He comes to steal rbrough decepuon. \Ve muststand on the
\Vord ofGcd and use itas our measuring stjck: for truth in our lives. \Ve are living in a culture
íhat does not embrace the presence of absotute truth. In fact, ditTerent pecpte have different
versicns ofthe truth. The written Word ofGod is the absolute foundationand bedrock: ofour
lives. lt is a living document describing our porentiat, responsibiliries, and promises. Quoting
the
\Vord of Gcd, standing on the \Vord of Gcd, and digesting the \Vord of Gcd are
crirical components of our jcumey into healing.

S. Seasons
To every thingthere is a season, anda time to every purpose under che heaven.
- Ecclesiastes 3: 1, KJV

Sometimes the source of our grieving is the misinterpretation of what was meant to be seasonal.
Some relationships were intended for a time anda purpose. when the season shifts, the
association and its fuoctionalíty may need to evolve or even dissotve, proving a chatlenge for
our emotions. There are also appointed times for various functions in che kingdom ofGod. Jf we
are not operanng in a prophetic spirit, we may mislnterpret a moment meant only to be seasonal.
1
have found seasons cf great cverñow and jcy, but there are also seasons of difficult chotees and
painful realities. Seasons are biblical and natural principies. Bach season contains a different
code of conduct and promise. Sorne of the more difficult times demand that you Jook harder to
find the promise, bur it is still there. Failing to recogníze a speciñc season in your life can
cause error. 1 wcutd submit that some disappointments and pain were simply because you
were functioning outside of a season.
6. Expectañons
Hope deferred makes che hean sick,
But desire fuJfilled is a tree oflife. -Provetbs 13:12

Dashed expectations can have an aching, agonizing effec: on our emorions. What many of us
may define as hurt could actually be an offense in disguise. We become offended through
unrealistic, unmet, or unexpressed expectations. Maybe we join a church ihinking that our
gífts
\\'111 be prometed but then we feel overlooked. This is a very common frustration J see in che
church world, Yet, nowhere in the Bible does it say it's a person's responsíbilíty to make room
for you. The Bible does say that your gift \\'111 make room for you. lfthe g.ift is truly there, a
space
and place for its expression \\'111 open in che proper time and season. Somerimes we simply have
to rrust God wirh our gift and the timing connected to its development. We may need input from
a mature leader or person regarding our own expecrations relarionally or ministerially. We
need good ccmmunication skills and straregies to communicate our expectatíons properly. \Ve
ccutd avoid a Jot of offenses wuh better communication and assessment of expecrations. 1 do
not say this to condeme, bue to equip.

7. Attitude
Do ali tbings without complaining or arguments. - Philippians 2: 14

You alone are tasked with the rnanagement of your O\\'D atritude. As we aJready stated eartier
in this reacbíng, a pan of our humen joumey and experience is chat we have emotions: good,
bad, and ugty, Your atritude is essential because ic creares a climate. Many times, we are living
in a toxic environment because of our own mindset. \Ve may blame our atritude on our
circumstances, surroundings, or pase traumas, but that is irresponsible! \Ve need to be
imentional about exercising our dominion as believers in che area of our emotions and minds.
When we are
huning and in need of'healing, we leak toxiciry. This is why 1 believe we must have emocional
healing ministry. You have authority over your own atritudel We muse Jeam to live in a place of
rest through Jesus, allowing His Word to work in us. \Ve can then take dominion over our
minds and emotions to maintain a healthy anirude, creatíng aclimate of great prophetic
potencial ali
around us.

8. Stewardshlp
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a person SO\\'S, chis he \\'111
atso reap. - Galatians 6:7

This verse was in che concext of ceaching abouc finances and resources, bue J believe it applies to
e·very a.rea of our lives. 1 "'ant co say something be.re chat is pretty coug.h but necessary. People
may delegate cheir developme.nt co someone else and get offended \Vhen cheir dreams and visions
don't come co pass. This faJse delegacion is lazy faith! Sorne of what "'e are <:alling churc-h hurt
is
no more than the result of slothfulness. We are to steward prophetic words over our life. We
are to steward our educarional and ietellecrual devetopment. We are to steward our monetary
resources in a godJy manner, We are to steward our desriny, J realize that rhere are prcmoticns
and breakthroughs beyond our control that require the favor of God to unlock. Having said that, J
believe that every destiny demands stewardship. As long as we blame others for what has nor
gene rigbr in our tives, we remain victimized and rejected. 1 am not diminishing the
disadvantages nor the tragic círcumstances that sorne people have faced. Thcse situations have
consequential effects on our individual lives. 1 am simpty stating that we must be diligent
ccnceming our own lives. Vle must realize that God has entrusted us with our time, our moeey,
and our rescurces. Destiny demands that we show up! ShO\V up for your healing. Show up fer
your entrepreneurial devetopment. Show up for the rraining, the prayer, the sowing, and the
growíog. Take an active role in the will of God for your life and watch God's pcwer meet
your respcnsible stewardship.

9. Communicatlon
A gentle answer tums away wrath,
But a harsh wcrd stirs up anger, - Prcverbs 15: 1

Ccmmunicaricn maners! Hcw we say it is vital. Sometimes we are saying the right thing in the
wrcng way and having dire consequences. In order to heal, learning how to communicate
effectively is very ímportam. 1 realize that different personaliry rypes have either advantages cr
disadvantages when ir comes coclear communication. For example, ifyou are an introvert, you
may have to study and work harder to get a good ccmmunícericn skill set. In both relaticnsbip
and leadership, the lack of otear and responsíble communícaricn can creare a breach allowing
unnecessary misunderstanding leading to strife. Oñen, we are upset and offended by unmet
desires never communicated to the other person or people involved. \Vhen we go through
times
of crisis, it's good to stop and ask the Lord bO\V we could have handJed it better, One of the
traps of the enemy is to get us pointing ñngers ar everybody etse wunour learning the lesso ns
we must leam to grcw and evolve.

10. Acceptance
And we know that God causes all things to work rogeíher for good to those whc love
God, to those who are called according co His purpose. - Romans 8:2.8

Trusrjng in God's sove.reignty is a big part ofyour healing process. Even \Vhen the e:nemy sends
a trap or anac.k, God is able to turn around what the de\riJ 1neant for harm and use ir foryour
good. Ler tne state it this \Vay; e\ ery life episode is a pa.tt ofthe beauriful capestry being "'ove.n
1

togethe.r to form the unfoJdjng of your destiny. lf you can get past the anger, the sadness, and the
bitterness and \ iew Jesus' footprints throug.h every season ofyour life, you can find a place
1

of profound rest and healing. J know from personal experience!

IS
Leaming to accept yourself wirh your warts and blemishes is critical. Jf you don't love and accept
yourself you will measure out judgment, instead of grace, to others. \Ve tend to extend the
same measure of grace to oihers that we extend to ourselves. You must accept your past
struggles and insufficiency while choosing to view them as tessons rather than failures. You
mus: accept che limitations of other people in your life and che pain they have caused you,
leaming to view them from a place of compassíon and merey instead of judgmem. This
viewpoint does not mean you ever agree wuh an abuser! Some things are wrong and atways will
be wrcng. However, there are many ways in changing our lens that ce» be fruitful.

Accepring and coming to peace with your past equips you to embrace the future. As you rest in
the goodness and che providence of God, your mind is a ble to explore exploits yet to come!

16
16
Closing & Decrees

1 want you to cake the next ccupte of days and reflect on the wcrds in this writing. 1 want you
to invite the Holy Spirit into the midst ofyour pain and specifícatly ask for His healing power
to be presentI waet you to take inventory ofthe opportuniries in your life, to grow and to learn,
instead of placing blame and anack on others. J want you to relinquish control over things that
you simply had no control over and Jet them go! 1 recognize this is much easier said than done,
but forgiveness and freedom begin as a decision, There may be more tears, and tbars ali righr,
You may wake up ene day and feelche sting of che pain ali over again, and that's ali right. In
these moments, be honest with God and go back to the decisión you've made to heal, recognizing
ihat it is often ajoumey anda process, nota singular event.

1 want you to be honest about your expectarions frcm the churcb, che leaders, and che
participants. J want you to ask the Lord for a more compassionate view of others. Ask Jiim
to
allow you to see the promise and potential in people, where OO\V you currently only see
problems
and blemishes. Let the Holy Spirit search your hean, reveal what you need to eliminare,
and release it to Him.

1 know that God has a stunning purpose and a vital place of funcrion for you in His kingdom.
You were bom for this time! You will not stay sidelined by past pain and wounds. You \\'111
arise and run with His destiny fer your life, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Decrees

Jesus, 1 invite your healing power into every facer of my being. J believe you are the Healer of
the brokenheaned, and J release pain at your feet today. 1 ask you to heal every wound and
emorional pain in my lite, in che name of Jesus. Amen. J decree that 1 ama child of God
wonderfully made and J forgive myself and extend grace and merey cowards myself in che
neme of' Jesus. Amee.

Thank you, Lord, that J love your cruth. Your \Vord is truth. J decree that your Word is my
standard, and J live by your Word. Thank you, Lord, for ministering to me from the
Wordof God, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

1 command demons of pain, torment, fear,and bi[terness to go from ine, in the name of Jesus.
J-\tnen.
Lord, 1 choose to forgive those who have hurt me. l lay them at your feet and refuse to remain
bitter towards them, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

1 decree that 1 walk in wisdom in retaüonsbips, in the name of Jesus.

1 decree that 1 draw heaJthy emotional and relational boundaries as needed.
1 decree that 1 see the pctential and promise in others.
1 decree that 1 walk in supematural peace in my life, in the name of Jesus. Amen.
1 decree that 1 am the healed ofthe Lord.
1 decree that 1 ama child ofthe Most High God.
1 decree that 1 am loved, accepted, and forgiven, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

1 decree that 1 am free in my mind.

1 decree that 1 have the mind of' Christ.
1 decree that 1 think God rhoughts.
1 decree that 1 walk in leve and grace.
1 decree that 1 walk in fairh and tnnh.
1 decree that 1 am a disciple of Jesus, and therefore 1 follcw His wcrd and example.

Lord, 1 pray that you teach me hO\V to lead, tove, and connecr like ycu.
Teach me how to serve your people most effecrively.
Thank you for your leve and plans forme, in the name of Jesus. Amen.