Directions: 

Thinking of what you have read about the language of technical writing, improve the
following improperly written sentences.

a. Shortening words and phrases

1. Likewise, in all cases, give consideration to the integrity of the person chosen to
transmit the package to our client.

- Consider the integrity of the person chosen to transmit the package.

2. I am cognizant of the numerous aspects about the transmission of the package to our
client.

- I recognize the numerous aspects about the transmission of the package.

3. Please, inquire about utilization of the additional stamp for mailing the package.

- Inquire about utilization of the additional stamp for the package.

4. Obtain some information with regard to their plans in making amendments to their
system of delivering goods to their clientele.

- Obtain information regarding their plans in making amendments to their system

of delivering goods.

5. Enclosed please find a check in the amount of two thousand pesos which I think is
insufficient for the mailing of the package.

- Find a check in the amount of two thousand pesos.

b. Avoiding “shun” or camouflaged words

1. Any of the parties can make a classification of the documents before they will make a
revision on these papers.

- Any of the parties can make classified documents before they will revise these
papers.

2. My suggestion to both parties is to make them request an extension of the deadline

for the registration of the contract.

- I suggest that both parties are to make request to extend the deadline for the
contract to be registered.

3. The officers have an expectation that both parties will come to an agreement with
each other, soon.

- The officers expected that both parties will come to an agreement with each
other, soon.

4. Definitely, Mr. Cruz will give consideration to the agent’s explanation about the
cancellation of the meeting.
 - Mr. Cruz will consider what the agent has explained about the meeting being
cancelled.

5. Mr. Cruz made a suggestion for the postponement of the meeting.

- Mr. Cruz suggests the postponement of the meeting.

c. Omitting clichés, worn-out, or overused expressions

1. Enclosed herewith are photocopies of our latest washing machine.

- Here are photocopies of our latest washing machine.

2. We take pleasure in having you as one of our guest speakers.

- Thank you for having you as one of our guest speakers.

3. He has improved his writing skills by leaps and bounds.

- He has improved his writing skills.

4. This is to inform you that our general assembly will be at the Heritage Hall.

- Our general assembly will be at the Heritage Hall.

5. Needless to say, all business firms want enthusiastic, - well-read, and creative
technical writers.

- All business firms want enthusiastic, - well-read, and creative technical writers.

d. Avoid redundancies and expletives

1. This seminar helped me plan in advance my activities in school and in my work place.

- This seminar helped me in planning my activities in school and my work place.

2. Her lecture in the seminar should deal mainly with true facts.

- Her lecture in the seminar should deal mainly with facts.

3. Do you mean to say, you need more lectures and practice on effective technical
writing?

- Do you need more lectures and practice on effective technical writing?

4. Please give that color green bag to Engineer Gomez, our guest speaker.

- Please give that color green bag to our guest speaker.

5. The seminar focused on the technical reports about Engineer Lopez’s new invention
on computer technology.

- The seminar focused on Engineer Lopez’s new invention on computer

technology.