…Letter to a Friend..

Acts 8:26-38; 1John 4:7-11, 18-21

First Pres San Bernardino Rev. Dr. Sandra R. Tice 4Easter May 15, 2011

Dear Julie,
In the 1980’s, we were young women in seminary together, preparing to serve as ministers of Word and
Sacrament in our church- the PC(USA). I never talked with you about the path that had led you there.
At the time, we were still an anomaly- about 45 women in my graduating class photo of 180. I know
that all of us were still uncertain about what it would mean to be women in ministry. There was great
diversity of opinion on campus about whether this was OK- whether we were OK.
But here we are, more than 20 years later, serving churches as pastors, and serving in the same
presbytery.

I am writing because this week, it became clear that amendment 10-A will become a part of our Book of
Order. As you know, this amendment makes it possible for some congregations or presbyteries to
consider people in same-gender relationships as eligible for service as elders, deacons, or ministers of
Word and Sacrament. It places the responsibility for these decisions in the hands of the governing
bodies themselves: a particular congregation or presbytery. So, in response to the question of whether
someone who is in a same-gender relationship is suited for ordination (as an elder, deacon, or minister)
What we have said is, “it depends”. The amendment suggests that no rule can replace discernment, and
that those who know the situation and the person most closely should decide, with God’s help.

I’m writing because I know that while some are deeply glad for this, and see it as making our church
more inclusive and welcoming, I expect that you are grieved and believe this to be a departure from
what God calls the Church to do and be. This makes me sad, and a little afraid. You know me well
enough to know I am not a crusader. I do not relish conflict, I dislike competition, I do not get
energized by a good argument. I am a peacemaker by nature, and I love people on both sides of this
issue.

In my own congregation, I know that there are those who have worked and prayed to make this change
possible, and they have spoken to me with tears and grateful hearts this week. And they are sitting right
next to others who will be dismayed, and ask “what are we THINKING?! This is unbearable!” And, if
truth be told, there are some who are likely to say, “Book of Order? What’s the Book of Order?” ☺
It is my prayer that we can still witness to a unity in the Body of Christ that overcomes our divisions.

I came of age in the 70’s, and I remember the “definitive guidance” of our General Assembly in 1978.
The idea was that Sexual Orientation was not a sin, but homosexual relationship was. In other words,
someone who was gay could be an exemplary Christian in every way, and could conceivably serve as a
leader, if they were celibate. This seemed wise and good to me. The phrase I learned then was “love the
sinner, hate the sin”.

But as the years have gone by, several things have happened in my study & prayer:

- I have become uncomfortably aware of how often Jesus welcomed people others considered unworthy
or unacceptable like Samaritans, non-Jews, lepers and tax-collectors. And women.

- I do not believe scripture is unimportant. It is critically important to me, and to my life in Christ. It is,
to use Presbyterian words, our only rule for faith and life, and I have taken vows that I believe it is God’s
Word to the Church and to me personally. I also believe the Reformed idea that we learned together in
seminary: that we read all of scripture through the lens of life and ministry of Jesus. When there seems to
be conflict, ‘scripture interprets scripture’, and what Jesus said and did has priority.

- I have become aware that Jesus spoke a great deal about those who say one thing and do another,
those who are rich now and do not share, and those who judge. But Jesus said nothing specifically about
homosexuality.

- The passage about the Ethiopian eunuch in Acts 8 is today’s text, believe it or not. I did not pick it for
the week 10-a received it’s over-50% vote, but there it was in my planning book. The man in this story
was different not just in his ethnic and national heritage- but in his sexuality. The Old Testament makes
it clear that anyone different or imperfect could not serve God as a priest, nor could anything different
or imperfect- no animal, for example, be brought as an offering to God. This eunuch was different, but
in this post-Easter story Philip was led by the Spirit to welcome him, to baptize him and make him part
of the life and ministry of the Risen Christ. As near as I can tell, that makes him a part of the priesthood
of all believers. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church has a tradition that this man was significant in the
founding of the Church in that country. I wonder if this is the nearest New Testament example we have
to a modern day sexual minority.

- I have come to believe that there is a category of relationship that did not exist in biblical times- a
faithful, covenanted, same-gender partnership. The bible does not speak about this kind of relationship,
(though it speaks about promiscuity and destructive behavior often). As with nuclear technology or
fertility treatments or anything else not mentioned in the text, I think we must discern what God would
have us do based on what we know about God, and what the Bible does say. I have seen partnerships
that have succeeded over decades, against all odds, and I have been humbled as I have wondered if my
love for Tom could survive such pressure.

- I have been changed by the witness of several gay Christian friends- One of them in particular whose
gifts and passion for ministry are obvious. Scripture says that we can know someone by their fruits- and I
have watched the fruitfulness of his prayer, his wise counsel, his leading of praise and worship. I am
convinced that the light that shines in his life is the Light of Christ. My faith is deeper and I love Jesus
more because of his witness. And I believe I must say so, even though it makes me uncomfortable. It
makes me uncomfortable because there are others, notably one of my mentors who gave me my first job
as an intern and affirmed my gifts and nudged me into seminary before I was sure women should go. He
wants to leave the PC(USA) over this amendment, and take his congregation with him. And my faith is
undeniably deeper and I love Jesus more because of his witness. I am convinced that the light that shines
in his life is also the Light of Christ.
Why does this matter? Who cares about my life, my relationships? I think it’s relevant here because this
is the story of our whole denomination- for decades we have been voting roughly 50/50 on this matter
of ordination standards, and, because the disagreements are so deep and so painful, we increasingly
gather with and talk to only those who agree with us, making the divisions deeper, thereby wounding the
Body of Christ. There is heartbreak and love all around, and I think we’re discovering that re-wording
amendments will not make this OK. Only loving our brothers and sisters in Christ as Jesus loves us and
seeking to listen more deeply, and to trust each other will enable God to heal the Church.

- Christian faith is a communal exercise. We follow our Lord together. Wherever two or more of us are
gathered in his name, Jesus promises to be present; and wherever two or more of us are gathered, our
humanness and differing opinions will rear their heads. Because of my involvement in summer camp
since the age of 14, I’ve known Presbyterians with varying opinions my whole life, and I’ve always been
proud that our faith is so deep that no divisions (even deep divisions) can ultimately divide us. The love
of Jesus is deeper. Stronger. Wider than that. It is a witness, I think, to a world that knows all about
division and fragmentation and conflict, and precious little about a Love that is deeper than all of that
which tears at the very fabric of the world.

- Meanwhile, John says to us this morning in the lectionary: Beloved, let us love one another. It seems to
me that this is a time to try to foster knowledge of each other and faith in each other. If we love one
another, God lives in us and his love is perfected in us. Let us ask God for more love and more
understanding and more compassion than we ourselves possess. 150 years ago, Presbyterian churches
in different parts of the country read different things in the Bible about slavery, and it tore them apart.
About 50 years ago, the deep division was around what the Bible says about the ordination of women.
Lord, please help us love one another.

- Regardless of what has changed in me, regardless of how dramatic this moment seems, Ultimately, I do
not believe that Jesus will abandon his Church. My belief in Providence gives me hope that if this is not,
indeed, where God is leading us, then it will not stand. We are sinful and shortsighted and make
mistakes all the time. But God is not mocked.

- I believe God is speaking to me through all these things. But I am also convinced that there is often a
log in my own eye, and that I need others- like you- to help me be truthful and faithful in my
discernment of God’s voice, God’s call. I do not want to be unfaithful to the friends I mentioned above,
but neither do I want to be unfaithful to you. I believe all of you are in my life to help me grow in the
way of Christ if I am willing to learn from you.

Will you have lunch with me?

Your sister in Christ,

Sandy