Christian Harrison

Professor Rob Cohen

ENG-111

12/8/2021

Reflection Essay

In life there are many ups and downs but sometimes these events leave you wondering if

you can continue if you can move on with your life. Sometimes you have to persevere through

all the bad things that you encounter on a day to day basis and allow them to make you stronger.

In the case of Michael Bentt, one the former heavyweight boxing champions, once said

“Sometimes you lose when you win and win when you lose.” This can be interpreted in so many

different ways because everyone looks at life differently.

My whole life I have gone through many things that have made me want to stop and give

up on the things that I wanted in life as I talked about in the memoir essay written earlier this

year. I’ve been a musician my entire life but just as long as I have been a musician I have been an

athlete. So on a personal level I completely relate to Michael because I have been at those same

exact points in my life with multiple sports. When I was younger my first sport that I ever fell in

love with was swimming and when I was in the pool I felt unstoppable. I felt like I could conquer

the world. When I got to the age to start competing I couldn't wait until my first because I would

be the fastest in all of my practices and my teammates didn't stand a chance and winning in

practice was awesome but I wanted to win for real. Early on a sunday morning I prepared to

swim in my first race ever. I was pumped and a little nervous but I thought I was ready. As

9:00am (the time of the race) came around I was sitting in wait, ready just as I did in practice.

And finally the time came around and I got up on the diving board and got position and the gun
Christian Harrison

Professor Rob Cohen

ENG-111

12/8/2021

went off. I dove in and all I can remember is being sped past by everyone in my heat and just

trying my hardest to keep up but not a single thing i could do would have worked they were

gone. When I finished I had come in 8th out 8 places and I had lost ny a full second and anyone

who knows swimming knows that's a long time. I got out of the pool, looked down and felt

terrible like I had just embarrassed myself for no reason and I didnt know what to do.

I recall that memory because it embodies the second part of Bentt’s phrase “win when

you lose” In that moment I had won something really valuable in my loss, I won heart/drive.

After that moment on my way home in the car I swore to myself to never lose that bad again at

anything no matter what it was. And I needed it to teach me to work harder for the things that I

really wanted and appreciated. I was broken because something I just started to love had all of a

sudden brought me an insurmountable amount of pain and embarrassment. But through it all I

started to love it more because I started working on my craft more and I spent time with the sport

because I wanted to win and without the loss I would have never gotten to that point. I believe

that's what Michael Bennt meant.

Now as a part of his statement he also says “Sometimes you lose when you win..” and I

believe I also have somewhat of a personal understanding to what he meant there as well. After

swimming faded out for me I began to enjoy mma when I was about 11-12 and at this time my

grandparents were dying and for that reason I had an excess amount of pent up aggression and

anger that I had stored up and I had stopped practicing music as I should’ve. It gave me an outlet

that I found effective and fun because I felt like it made people feel the pain I was feeling. So

after a bit of intense training I had my first few scrimmage fights and won them all and I began
Christian Harrison

Professor Rob Cohen

ENG-111

12/8/2021

to get addicted to the feeling of fighting and hurting people and started to get unhealthy and I

ended up hurting someone.

At this point in time I feel like I really understood Mr. Bentt dilemma I was in such a bad

place that the winning didn't even matter because I was winning for the wrong reasons. I was

really just angered and taking it out on others and those wins meant nothing because on the

inside I was losing a battle with myself. I was letting the world around me meet me up from the

inside out and I thought that the right response was to hurt others. Bennt was going through a

similar situation as a boxer and he was good and would win and this began to inflate his head to

the point where he thought he was bigger than he really was and it became a problem.

So I completely believe Mr. Michael Bennt’s statement “Sometimes you lose when you win and

win when you lose.” because the wins allow you to stand tall in the one spot but loses allow you

to stay low while moving forward.