Treating and Reversing the Effects of

Concussion Syndrome and CTE

My Battle with Head Trauma
By: Patrick Kern LMT, CPT, PES
- MASSAGE THERAPY TO THE HEAD AND NECK WILL REDUCE AND REVERSE THE EFFECTS
OF CONCUSSION SYNDROME AND CTE. THOSE EFFECTS INCLUDE AND ARE NOT LIMITED
TO: DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, IMPULSE and EMOTIONAL CONTROL ISSUES OTHERWISE
KNOWN AS RAGE, AND NAUSEA. THERE IS NOTHING MYSTERIOUS ABOUT IT. I. I am not a doctor, I am a madman.
II. My sad, sad story
III. I am not a madman, I am a Shaman.

I.

Let me start off by saying that I am not a doctor, but what I am, is someone with

a history battling the effects of concussions since I was 6 years old. Five medically
diagnosed and a few that weren't, all before I was even 18. I feel I have become
somewhat of an expert over the recent years studying the subject, mainly by studying

myself. I became a licensed massage therapist and a Certified Personal Trainer and
Performance Enhancement Specialist with the National Academy of Sports Medicine. To
say my journey has at sometimes been torturous, would be an understatement. To be
misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and outcast in a sense even by people closest to me.
I recall my thoughts at one point turned to people with cancer. I thought to
myself, when someone has cancer people rally around them and support them.
Concussions, and many other less understood or popular diseases are treated quite
differently. Why is that I thought? Is it because people don't really care? Is it because
the medical profession is just a hollowed out big business? Is it because being a cancer
supporter is now somewhat of a fashion statement? If I seem bitter, angry and abrasive
it's because I am. I am a madman. The truth hurts. I have never had cancer, though
many people I am close to have. I hate what it does to people just as much as anyone. I
am compassionate, but not sympathetic. In order to make my points, I have to resort to
these comparisons because that is how you get peoples attention right? So I thought,
and so I felt. It was a sad bitter day for me then, looking to the outside for the answers I
already had within.
The subject of concussions has come more into the spotlight due to many recent
tragic cases in NFL players such as Junior Seau and Dave Deurson. To someone that has
never experienced a concussion, it can be impossible to understand just how subtley
crippling it can become if you don't understand and treat it properly. It's real danger, is

its root and gateway into other self destructive tendencies.

As I stated previously, being misunderstood is and was the hardest part of
having many concussions. The effects are as if you are slowly losing control of your
body, your emotions and your mind. I saw the look on peoples faces, they believed I was
careless. They were scared of me, and thought I was a monster. That is what I felt. The
truth was the opposite, I cared so much but I couldn't express it. Maybe I cared too
much. Massage Therapy helped me greatly in this regard, as it has given me an outlet to
express these feelings. Before I made it to the Soma Institute, I was drifting into a
narrowing deep darkness, a depression I only knew how to treat by drinking, smoking,
and feeding my escapist shadow. It was the only thing I could do to ease the inner pain
and gut wrenching rage. Anyone with anger issues knows the feeling, how it just drains
you of all effective human quality, and your mind races in resentment of all the complete
idiots you are surrounded by. I had no will to fight it, I had no confidence and I was living
in complete shame. To be perfectly clear, multiple or severe concussions will destroy
every part of your life if you don't understand it. Sexy stuff isn't it? As for me, as a
teenager, how could I possibly understand it? A huge part of my personal healing was
forgiving myself. At times when I looked back, I hated every part of who I was. I would
be arrested multiple times for underage drinking, marijuana possession, and a DUI when
I was 18. I was a punk and a fool. I would be fired and quit countless jobs. I was living
and repeating the same self destructive cycle over and over again. In a sense, aren't we
all? This is the road I was traveling down.
3

II.

Being so young when these effects first started taking ahold of me, I don't know

if anyone really knew how torn apart I was becoming. To most on the outside, I was just
the reckless rebel with a bad attitude. In some ways, I guess I was. I had a lot of friends,
though never a girlfriend. I scared away so many girls it is disgusting. There were a few
who miraculously made me feel good enough at times to get through the days, but
mostly I just had no confidence. I was able to overcome most of my outbursts mainly
because of my humor and humility. If I had redeeming qualities that got me by, that was
it. If the experience tought me anything, it was that humor and humility have healing
qualites unparralled by any other emotion or characteristic, at least for me. A lot of
people didn't understand the humor or humility, but a few did. Luckily for me, I took
note that there were people supporting me and that no matter how many times I gave
up, I would promise myself that everytime I get knocked down I will come back stronger.
By the time I was 20 I was fully emersed as a total escape artist and lived that
way almost completely until I was 25. The pain I was feeling on the inside controlled me
in every way possible. I felt completely alone, almost all of the time. I told myself I
wasn't, I reasoned everything. But the feeling kept growing stronger. Deep down, I
knew I was going to have to face this, or it was going to destroy me. I decided the first
thing I had to do was to stop drinking and smoking, to stop running and start fighting.
One might ask, how can I know how to treat and reverse the effects of a
condition if I am not a doctor? I really can't give you the answer to that question, only

that I know what has worked for me. By no means am I saying it will work for anyone
else, but I do believe it will work for many. The main point I am making, is that there is
hope. There is a way. There is a life to be had.
My first concussion came at the age of 6 years old. I was sitting in the dugout
during my tee-ball game and whack! The next thing I remember is waking up in my
moms van with my head in my friends lap and my mom yelling my name and, "Don't fall
asleep!" From there it was kind of a blur, but funny enough I still have a vivid though
cloudy memory of the whole ordeal. I got to the hospital, got stitches in my head and
examined by the doc. By this time I was almost feeling back to 100% normal. This is part
of the trickiness with concussions. I asked my mom if I could go back to the game, I
wanted to be back out there with my friends and teammates, but my day was over. I
was pissed when my mom said my day was over, but when your a kid, Mom always wins,
and rightfully so.
The next few days were my first experience with the after shocks of concussions.
The waves of pain through my head. The inability to move without pain and the feeling
of the walls closing in. It's like you're on some crazy drugs accept there's no fun high.
The nausea and feeling of my brain being in an ocean of water. Each day got a little
better and after about a week I was back to 100%.
I wouldn't sustain my next concussion for about 6 more years, and from there it
seemed I got one almost every year until I was 18. For those who haven't met me, I do

have a larger than ordinary head. A few teammates of mine nicknamed me melon at
one time and I had a helmet specially made because I never could fit into the ones
provided by the coaches. The odd thing about my situation is that most of my
concussions were freak accidents, only 2 playing football. This is one point that irks me
emotionally. Professional football players choose their living, and play as grown men.
There are many people who get concussions that are not by choice. I think we really
need to shed light on the fact that concussions are a problem for many more than just
football players who choose a game that increases there risk dramatically. People have
been getting hit in the head and getting concussions since the beginning of time. The
causes are not difficult to understand. If a person gets a couple concussions during their
life, they most likely wont deal with the long term effects unless the concussions are
ultra severe.
Football, was however how I got my second concussion. It was in 8th grade
during the only year I played organized football. It came during the playoffs, our last
game of the year. I played on the defensive line and I was undersized to say the least. I
made up for that with my brawn and scrapiness. I was pretty tough when it came down
to it, but that only takes you so far when you face off with a team that has guys who are
a foot taller than you and possibly over the legal age limit for that league.
In high school I had another freak accident on the baseball field as I was playing
left field and my head collided with the 3rd basemans knee as we both dove for the ball.
He said he never heard me calling for it, but either way, he broke his ankle and I was
6

knocked unconscious for an extended period of time with another concussion. This was
the concussion that, as I look back, was the most devastating but the one I was able to
learn the most.
After sitting out for an inning I was able to persuade my way back onto the field.
As I said before, immediately after you have a concussion you return to feeling pretty
normal in most cases, and mine in particular. I almost felt as if my senses were
hightened to an extreme level.
I was able to persuade my coach and mom that I was fine and I re-entered the
game and it's something I will never forget. We were playing a double header against
the in-town rival, and the rest of the first game and the second game I proceeded to get
5 hits in 6 at bats and make a couple of great plays in the field. It was one of my best
personal statistical performances on the field and at the end of the night I felt really
good. I remember thinking that this time would be different, and that I would be able to
play in the rest of our games that week.
The next morning, I learned my lesson very quickly. There would be no games for
me that week. I felt awful in every sense, and my anger made it even worse. I was
vomitting and I could not get out of bed. I thought I was dying. I was 16 at that point
and I had no idea of the grip and long lasting effects that these blows to the head were
going to give me.
My next concussion came when I was 18. By this time I was already dealing with
7

the long term effects that concussions and CTE have. Depression, anxiety, impulse and
emotional control issues otherwise known as rage, and nausea. At the time, I didn't
really link anything to the concussions mainly because I was in denial about most of it.
The last concussion was while playing pick up football with some friends. I got tackled to
the ground and nothing hit my head, but just the impact of my body hitting the ground
sent a jolt through me. I knew right then and there, I had a concussion. I knew that it
shouldn't have been that easy for me to get one either, but with my history, it
happened.
I got a CT scan as usual, and like usual the Doc said they didn't see any damage.
The Doc then said, "With your history of concussions at this point, you are at a much
higer risk for Alzheimers when you get older." It was shocking to hear that at such a
young age. It was like a dream really, I wasn't mad, I just felt empty and alone.
This sent me into the 7 year stretch of really dark times. I was drinking and
smoking. I was self medicating and doing anything to escape what I was truly feeling. I
was a hollowed out shell of myself. I was making poor decisions and even landed in
county jail a couple of times for talking back to a judge. Honestly, I don't know how I
made it through at times other than the grace of God and the love and support of a few
family and friends.

III.

With all that being said, I took a look in the mirror and decided to make some

changes around the time I was 25. I really started examining the sources of my
8

struggles. It wasn't easy, and it is a daily battle, but today I feel better than I have since I
was a young child. I quit smoking and drinking. I committed to the gym, massage,
meditation and to art.
In the beginning, it wasn't easy. Have you ever heard that before? What made it
harder was like I said, being misunderstood and misdiagnosed by doctors. At one point, I
was diagnosed as bi-polar and a few other things by a psychiatrist. The worst diagnoses
came from people I knew who just looked at me differently. I felt like people looked at
me almost like I wasn't human. I told more than one doctor my story but they never
once listened and just wrote me a prescription for drugs or wanted to take x-rays and
find ways to bill me. I couldn't believe it. At times I felt like I was the character in one of
those movies where everyone thinks you are a killer, and you have to do everything you
can to prove your innocence. Like "The Fugitive" or most Liam Neeson movies. At one
point I even thought, maybe they are right. Maybe I do have these conditions. So I
began to take the pills.
The pills seemed to work at first. I remember feeling a bit happier. Then I had a
bad night, and started feeling the same things I was feeling when I was smoking and
drinking. I was feeling the effects of the pills starting to take control of my body, a
feeling that told me stop immediately. So I did. The first morning I quit taking the pills I
woke up and watched the sunrise and felt better than I had in a long time. I knew then, I
am not a madman I am a shaman.

The one thing that has helped me more than anything when it comes to treating
and reversing the effects of concussion syndrome, is massage therapy. Without a doubt,
anyone who has a history of concussions, traumatic injuries of any kind, or is in the NFL
should receive massages with a focus on the head and neck on a regular basis. This is an
absolute must. I can not stress this enough.
I can now maintain my emotions, although I still have difficulties. My impulses
and self control have improved dramatically and my depression is now just a cloud in the
sky compared to the storm it was in the past. The nausea still comes around at the gym
sometimes, but the effects have diminished steadily over the past few years.
To add to the healing effects of massage, one should maintain a healthy diet,
practice meditation, and incorporate a fitness regime that molds well with the lifestyle
you are seeking to achieve. The fitness routine can range from lifting weights,
swimming, yoga, or dancing. The more active you keep the body, the better.
I am now 30 years old, and with any medical condition, I understand that age can
play a major factor in overcoming any disease. I would still wager that a person of any
age, will greatly improve the condition of their life with regular massage for concussions,
and would make it a mission of mine to see to it that the medical community honors and
recognizes these truths and provides these services first and foremost to those victims
of head or neck trauma.

10