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Two Deranged Uncles Rampaging to the

Beat

A Short Story

by

Darth Sweet was thinking about Molly Torrance again.

Molly was a brave deity with spiky fingers and
charming hands.

Darth walked over to the window and reflected on his

urban surroundings. He had always loved grand Oxford
with its mushy, mashed mountains. It was a place that
encouraged his tendency to feel jumpy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather

someone. It was the a brave figure of Molly Torrance.

Darth gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a deranged,

sinister, squash drinker with handsome fingers and curvaceous hands.
His friends saw him as a hissing, hurt hero. Once, he had even saved a
doubtful disabled person that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a deranged person who had once saved a doubtful
disabled person that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what
Molly had in store today.

The sleet rained like partying maggots, making Darth stressed. Darth
grabbed a damp kettle that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it
with his fingers.

As Darth stepped outside and Molly came closer, he could see the
poised glint in her eye.

"Look Darth," growled Molly, with a charming glare that reminded

Darth of brave pigeons. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a fight.
You owe me 7074 euros."

Darth looked back, even more stressed and still fingering the damp
kettle. "Molly, I'm in love with you," he replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two tough, tricky
tortoises walking at a very ruthless wedding, which had drum and
bass music playing in the background and two deranged uncles
rampaging to the beat.

Darth regarded Molly's spiky fingers and charming hands. "I don't
have the funds ..." he lied.

Molly glared. "Do you want me to shove that damp kettle where the
sun don't shine?"

Darth promptly remembered his deranged and sinister values.

"Actually, I do have the funds," he admitted. He reached into his
pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Molly looked irritable, her wallet blushing like a tasteless, tender

torch.

Then Molly came inside for a nice beaker of squash.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Two Deranged Uncles Rampaging to the Beat
"I feel like I know Darth Sweet. In a way, it feels as though I've always
known him."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that
has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the sleet rained like partying maggots is just the kind of
literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

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