Unit 1-5 Self Develpment and LIfe Skills

Self-Development & Life Skills by Fr.
Antony
Unit 1
CONCEPT OF SELF
From your childhood days, you may have spent considerable time thinking about who
you are, and how you are different from others. By now, you already may have developed some
ideas about yourself, although you may not be aware of it.
You are aware of your ‘self’ in the same way as you are aware of various objects in
your surrounding environment, such as a chair or a table in your room. A newly born child has
no idea of its self. As a child grows older, the idea of self emerges and its formation begins.
Parents, friends, teachers and other significant persons play a vital role in shaping a child’s
ideas about self. Our interaction with other people, our experiences, and the meaning we give
to them, serve as the basis of our self. The structure of self is modifiable in the light of our own
experiences and the experiences we have of other people.
Personal identity refers to those attributes of a person that make her/him different from
others. When a person describes herself/himself by telling her/his name (e.g., I am Sanjana or
Karim), or her/ his qualities or characteristics (e.g., I am honest or hardworking person), or
her/his potentialities or capabilities (e.g., I am a singer or dancer), or her/his beliefs (e.g., I am
a believer in God or destiny), s/he is disclosing her/his personal identity. Social identity refers
to those aspects of a person that link her/him to a social or cultural group or are derived from
it. When someone says that s/he is a Hindu or a Muslim, a Brahmin or an adivasi or a North
Indian or a South Indian, or something like these, s/he is trying to indicate her/his social
identity. These descriptions characterise the way people mentally represent themselves as a
person. Thus, self refers to the totality of an individual’s conscious experiences, ideas, thoughts
and feelings with regard to herself or himself. These experiences and ideas define the existence
of an individual both at the personal and at social levels.
Self as Subject and Self as Object
This means that self can be understood as a subject as well as an object. When you say,
“I know who I am”, the self is being described as a ‘knower’ as well as something that can be
‘known’. As a subject (actor) the self actively engages in the process of knowing itself. As an
object (consequence) the self gets observed and comes to be known. This dual status of self
should always be kept in mind.
Types of Self
There are several kinds of self. They get formed as a result of our interactions with our
physical and socio-cultural environments. The first elements of self may be noticed when a
newborn child cries for milk when it is hungry. Although, this cry is based on reflex, this later
on leads to development of awareness that ‘I am hungry’. This biological self in the context of
socio-cultural environment modifies itself. While you may feel hungry for a chocolate, an
Eskimo may not.
A distinction is made between ‘personal’ and ‘social’ self. The personal self leads to an
orientation in which one feels primarily concerned with oneself. We have talked above how
our biological needs lead to the development of a ‘biological self ’. But, soon a child’s
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Self-Development & Life Skills by Fr. Antony
psychological and social needs in the context of her/his environment lead other components of
personal self to emerge. Emphasis comes to be laid on those aspects of life that relate only to
the concerned person, such as personal freedom, personal responsibility, personal achievement,
or personal comforts. The social self emerges in relation with others and emphasises such
aspects of life as cooperation, unity, affiliation, sacrifice, support or sharing. This self values
family and social relationships. Hence, it is also referred to as familial or relational self
The humanistic approach states that the self is composed of concepts unique to
ourselves. The self-concept includes three components:
Self-worth (or self-esteem)
Self-worth (or self-esteem) – what we think about ourselves. Rogers believed feelings
of self-worth developed in early childhood and were formed from the interaction of the child
with the mother and father.
Self-esteem is an important aspect of our self. As persons we always make some
judgment about our own value or worth. This value judgment of a person about herself/himself
is called self-esteem. Some people have high self-esteem, whereas others may have low self-
esteem. In order to assess self-esteem we present a variety of statements to a person, and ask
her/ him to indicate the extent to which those statements are true for her or him. For example,
we may ask a child to indicate the extent to which statements such as “I am good at homework”,
or “I am the one usually chosen for the games”, or “I am highly liked by my peers”, are true of
her/ him. If a child reports these statements to be true for her/him, her/his self-esteem will be
high in comparison to someone who says “no”.
Studies indicate that by the age of 6 to 7 years, children seem to have formed self-
esteem at least in four areas: academic competence, social competence, physical/ athletic
competence, and physical appearance, which become more refined with age. Our capacity to
view ourselves in terms of stable dispositions permits us to combine separate self-evaluations
into a general psychological image of ourselves. This is known as an overall sense of self-
esteem.
Self-image
Self-image – How we see ourselves, which is important to good psychological health.

Self-image includes the influence of our body image on inner personality. At a simple level,
we might perceive ourselves as a good or bad person, beautiful or ugly. Self-image has an affect
on how a person thinks feels and behaves in the world.
Real self
The real self is who we actually are. It is how we think, how we feel, look, and act. The
real self can be seen by others, but because we have no way of truly knowing how others view
us, the real self is our self-image.
Ideal self
Ideal self – This is the person who we would like to be. It consists of our goals and
ambitions in life, and is dynamic – i.e. forever changing. The ideal self in childhood is not the
ideal self in our teens or late twenties etc.
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The Ideal Self is an idealized version of yourself created out of what you have learned
from your life experiences, the demands of society, and what you admire in your role models.
For example, your parents are medical doctors who are respected and admired in the
community, and experience tells you that in order to be happy, you need to be smart and have
a high-paying job. Your Ideal Self might be someone who excels in science subjects, spends a
lot of time studying, and does not get queasy at the sight of blood. If your Real Self is far from
this idealized image, then you might feel dissatisfied with your life and consider yourself a
failure.
Example #1: My ideal self-image includes honesty
When my parents ask me why I was late coming home from a night out, and I am honest
and tell them that I didn't want to leave the party because I was having such a great time, then
despite the ramifications (like being reprimanded), I will feel a sense of mental well-being.
If I am dishonest and tell them that my car wouldn't start, then the misalignment
between my real self and ideal self will result in mental distress or anxiety. The fact that I lied
results in negative feelings.
Example #2: My ideal self-image includes a strong work ethic
If I attend all of my college classes, read the assignments, study for the exams, and work
hard on my term paper, the result will be a grade that is in line with a strong work ethic. I will
feel peace of mind regarding the congruence between my ideal self and real self.
I flunk out of a few college courses and I am put on academic probation. If I admit to
myself that I did not keep up with the assigned readings, didn't study for exams, and didn't turn
in my term papers, then I will feel distress or anxiety as a result of the discrepancy between my
actual work ethic and the ideal work ethic that I have generated for myself.
Unit 2
Johari Window
Johari Window is a technique for improving self-awareness within an individual. It
helps in understanding your relationship with yourself and others. Johari Window model can
be a useful tool if you want to improve your communication skills.
It was developed by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955,
hence the name Johari. Johari Window is generally used in Self-help groups in exercises which
help a person to learn and discover things about themselves, like heuristic exercise.
Johari Window is a method used for self-discovery. Let us understand Definition and
meaning of Johari Window Model with examples.
What is Johari Window?
Generally, it is believed that we have in a group based on our perception of others. And that is
why to improve communication in a group it is important to develop the perception of an
individual in the group.
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Johari window model is based upon two things – to acquire the trust of others by revealing
your information to them and by learning about yourself through feedback by others.
Johari Window Model Description
There are four questions in the model just like panes in a window and each person fits
into one of this pane. Each window in Johari window model signifies feelings, personal
information, and motivation.
Also, the important point to know here is that through window panes one must
determine whether one is known or unknown to oneself as well as the others.
Johari Window
Here as you can see in the photo there are four different panes and each signifies one
crucial idea behind it. Further, the panes are in the horizontal axis as well as the vertical axis.
So, you have to determine in which window you fall and based on that your personality can be
known.
In this model, the main focus is on feedback. Accepting of feedback and conveying of
this feedback is done through this model. The panes given in the vertical direction represents
part that is known and unknown to others. While the horizontal part represents the known and
unknown part to yourself.
That is two windows represent your true self while the other two windows represent the
part that is known to others but unknown to self.
This information which is known to self and unknown to others can be transferred
through socializing with others. While the part that is known to others but unknown to self is
conveyed through feedback that you get through other members in the group.
This model works on the basis of communication happening in the group and how to
improve yourself. The model is very simple to understand and as a result, it is used in various
organizations.
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Now, we have divided the panes into 4 different panes to make you understand further
about how compromises in these panes.
Johari Window Quadrant 1: Open Area or Arena

This area or pane is called open area because the information in this pane about the
behavior, feelings, emotions about the person is known to that person itself as well as the other
members in this group.
In this arena, all the communication occurs through a two-way process. Such that the
person socializes about himself with others and constantly receives feedback from the other
members of the group. As a result, the group becomes more effective and the relationship in
this group is very dynamic.
In this group, the process of feedback solicitation is very common. This process occurs
in the group that has an understanding and the feedbacks of the other person are heard.
So, the open area through this group can be increased horizontally such that the
blindspot area is reduced and vertically it is increased so that the hidden and unknown areas of
a person are reduced when that person reveals about his feeling to the other person.
Johari Window Quadrant 2: Blind spot or Blind Self
Blind spot is the area in which the certain information on your personality is known to
others but that information is not known to you.
In simple terms, other people may interpret your personality different than you might
have expected. For efficient communication, this area must be reduced.
One way to do it is through feedback that you get from other members in the group.
Johari Window Quadrant 3: Hidden Area or Hidden Self
Hidden area is the information that you hide from others. Here, the information is
known to you but the others are unknown to this information.
The reason for this may be the information might be personal to you so that you are
reluctant to share it with others. This includes secrets, past experiences, feelings, etc. Many
people keep their information private and do not share it with others.
Johari Window Quadrant 4: Unknown Areas or Unknown Self
In this area, the information is unknown to you as well as the others. Generally, certain
feelings, talents, information, etc fall in this area.
The reason for this might be some traumatic experience in the past about a particular
event or experiences which might be ever unknown for you.
The person, as well as the group, is unaware about this till he or she discovers it. One
way to reduce this area is through open communication.
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Feed back
Feedback is "information about the results of a process which is used to change the
process itself. Negative feedback reduces the error or deviation from a goal state. Positive
feedback increases the deviation from an initial state."
Feedback is workplace evaluation and response to what an employee or a colleague’s
performance is, relative to a particular task. Feedback can be given either positively or
negatively and depending on the circumstance, it can be given both at the same time. Giving
them both at the same time should be done constructively.
Constructive Feedback
Below are 6 Feedback Tips and examples that highlight all that’s current with
constructive feedback:
1. The best leaders ask for more feedback. Research shows that only the top 10% of
managers scored in the 83rd percentile in leadership abilities. Having those leadership abilities
involves being able to ask for constant feedback. Like employees, who want to learn and
improve, managers such as yourself would like to learn and improve too right? To learn and
improve is all part in being a leader. A leader is someone who stays on top of current matters
to ensure they are taught accordingly to the rest of the organisation.
2. To improve performance, practice follow-up feedback Approximately 8.9% of
profitability increases from managers being given a follow-up feedback, according to research.
This profitability of course, illustrates individual productivity boosts and overall performance.
What follow-up feedback is, is receiving feedback on the last feedback that was given – this
could have been last quarter’s or last year’s as feedback examples. It’s essential to conduct
follow-up on feedback and truly understand and action it. Once you understand your feedback,
you know what the next actions will be.
3.Relative feedback improves effort levels
Don’t get me wrong, feedback in general will improve for the better in its own way.
However, if you’re looking to improve effort and only effort alone, you should focus on relative
feedback. Relative feedback in the context of manager to employee is where you provide
feedback to them that compares it to a second employee’s. In other words, it’s basically
comparing two employees’ performance to one another. Believe it or not, but while this
comparison may appear as bad motivation, it’s what sparks healthy competition according to
psychology. This healthy competition only communicates into increased effort all to feel like
they have won.
4. Specific feedback targets specific goals
As a manager, if you’re after a specific goal to target you’ll need to formulate a specific
feedback to provide. There’s no point providing feedback on an employee’s choice of
workwear when all it will do is improve their wardrobe – because it’s unrelated to performance
(which will most likely be the main issue and concern that feedback targets). You should tailor
your feedback so that it aligns with what problem area you want fixed by the employee.
Analysing past feedback examples by aligning them with what goals they were specifically
targeting is a good call to action.
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5. Honest feedback builds strong team engagement

There’s no point lying when you’ve been placed in a truth huddle. The whole point of
a huddle to begin with is build a stronger team relationship, and in this case it’s between you
and your employees. Building this relationship with your employees through honest feedback
is what drives engagement. Strong team engagement, according to data research, ranks at 77%
with employers who fostered an environment of honest feedback. To have a strong, high
performing, engaged team is one of the important core values for organisational development
that you and your business should strive towards.
6. Confident employees want negative feedback
Believe it or not, but the more confident your employee is the more negative feedback
they’d want. When you know you’re good at what you do, it’s not mind stimulating to know
that there’s nothing that you can do to do better. To know this, you don’t really feel like you’re
learning on the job, which makes you believe that you’re not fulfilled in life (it’s a psychology
fact). To challenge oneself from the norm, it’s about opening up to negative feedback and using
it to learn. Outside the comfort zone is the learning zone. With learning, you make mistakes
along the way and with those mistakes you build on from what you know and who you are,
which helps you see your value in an organisation.
The facts and feedback examples above are all aligned with constructive feedback.
Keep in mind that providing constructive feedback (whether it be positive or negative form)
should be reinforced with personal development and used to engage your employees to drive
productivity. With productivity, that comes with improvement of the overall company
performance. With overall company performance being driven up, that translates into growth
and profitability. Essentially, constructive feedback and understanding feedback examples is a
‘positive turnover’ for you and your company.
Constructive feedback Vs Destructive Feedback
Constructive feedback focuses on the common goal while destructive feedback deviates
from the common goal. For example, imagine, you are a manager and Mr. A and Ms.B are
reports to you. Mr.A used offensive language on Ms.B and Ms.B complains about this conflict.
If you tell Ms.B, “Ms B, if Mr.A used offensive language, you return it with offensive language,
take revenge” is destructive feedback. On the other hand you tell Ms.B, “I will talk to Mr.A
regarding this and take appropriate action. And, I’m very happy about your behavior during
this conflict as you’ve behaved professionally by not using offensive language in return.” This
is an example of constructive feedback. So, it is absolutely fine in many situations to give
constructive negative feedback.
The difference between constructive and destructive feedback is constructive feedback
focus on the goal, intent and motive in three angles: self, social and sustainable while in
destructive feedback this balance may lack or would be biased.
Giving constructive feedback is about effective interpersonal communication. Here is
a list of do's and don't when you give constructive feedback with examples
Do:
• Give genuine compliments and appreciate the person

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• Even when you disagree, say, "No" politely

• Show your emotions through the prosody of the language
• Use language eloquence such as use of figure of speech if you are good at it.
• Use persuasive words, phrases and statements, empathy statements, rapport
building statements and transition words to move from one idea to another.
• Communicate assertively
• Listen actively when giving and receiving feedback
• Be kind and polite
• Ask questions
• Illustrate your point using anecdotes and short stories
• Grab the attention and keep their attention to persuade your point
• Use creative methods to make your feedback more innovative.
Don't
• Avoid these verbal communication barriers:

• Judgmental statements
• Redundant statements
• Mother Tongue Influence (MTI)
• Negative words and statements
• Verbal speech fillers
Self-Disclosure Definition
Self-disclosure refers to the process of revealing personal, intimate information about
oneself to others. Through self-disclosure, two individuals get to know one another. Self-
disclosure is considered a key aspect of developing closeness and intimacy with others,
including friends, romantic partners, and family members. However, self-disclosure also
functions as a way for people to express their feelings about a situation, to give others their
thoughts and opinions about a topic, to elicit reassurance about their feelings, or to get advice.
Self-disclosure has both advantages and disadvantages. The advantages could be:
(1) freedom from fear
Many times, the counsellors whom the clients meet are strangers. Counselling is an intimate
interaction in which the client discloses her intimate concerns and therefore she will have fear
of opening to a stranger. When the counsellor starts speaking about himself and his problem,
the counsellor becomes personal to the client and the fear of being open to a stranger
subsides.
(2) appearing human

After all, the counsellor is not a saint who is holier than the counsellee. It is very consoling
for the client to realize that the counsellor is also a human like her, having even similar
problems like her. This frees the client from the fear of being freak in her problem. After all,
the client is not alone in this particular problem.
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(3) Modelling
The counsellor is not only a person who had a problem similar to that of the client, but also
he is a person who has struggled to go through the problem and reach the solution, and in that
way the experience of the counsellor becomes a model for the client to imitate; and also it is
an invitation to become like the counsellor in dealing with the problem.
(4) Direction
Counsellor's self-disclosure provides a direction to the client, for till the counsellor shared
his problem, the client was wallowing in her own misery, and after hearing a self-disclosure
of the counsellor she knows where to go and how to reach there because there is someone in
front of her concretely who has achieved what she is struggling to achieve. In that way the
counsellor's sharing points the direction to the client.
Factors Influencing Disclosure
A number of factors influence when to disclose and when not to disclose.

1. The first factor is cultural differences between the partners, especially strangers.
Culture has rules and sanctions that inhibit high levels of self-disclosure between
strangers
2. Secondly, individual traits or differences in interpersonal skills influence how and
when to disclose. Those who have secure attachment to people, have high levels of
self-disclosure while high openers encourage others to self-disclose.
3. Thirdly, gender differences affect self-disclosure because men feel awkward to
disclose than women therefore, women are more likely to reciprocate the level of
intimacy than men.
Unit 3
Definitions and meaning of Personality

The word ‘personality’ is derived from the Latin word persona, which means a dramatic mask
work by performers in order to either project different roles or disguise their identities.
The term personality comes from the Latin word persona. Persona in Latin means the masks
worn by actors and the characters they portray
Personality is the unique way individuals think, feel, and act. It is different from character and
temperament but included those aspects.
The thoughts, feelings and actions that are perceived as reflecting an individual’s personality
typically have three characteristics.
I. Thoughts, feelings and actions are considered as behavioral components of
identity that make distinction between individuals
II. Behaviors are viewed as being primarily caused by internal rather than
environmental factors.
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III. The behaviors of the person seem to have organization and structure
Personality is the sum total of all the biological innate dispositions, impulses, tendencies,
appetites and instincts of an individual, and the dispositions and tendencies acquired by
experience (Prince 1929).
Personality is that which permits a prediction of what a person will do in a given situation
(Cattell 1970).
Watson the father of behaviorism defines; “Personality is the sum of activities that can be
discovered by actual observations over a long enough period of time to give reliable
information”
Personality is a complex blend of a constantly evolving and changing pattern of one’s unique
behavior, emerged as a result of one’s interaction with his environment, directed towards some
specific ends in view.
Characteristics of personality
1. Personality is something unique and specific. Not even identical twins behave the same
way to the same challenge/situation.
2. Personality implies self-consciousness. Every man has a personality. But a dog does
not have a personality. Even a baby does not have a personality. The baby has only a
vague sense of self.
3. Personality includes everything about a person – the conative, the cognitive and the
affective.
4. Personality also includes the conscious, pre-conscious, and the un-conscious.
5. Personality is more than the sum (total) of the different traits/characteristics of a person.
Just like a house is more than the bricks! Just like an elephant is more than his legs +
head + trunk!
6. Personality is not static, it is dynamic.
7. Personality is a product of both the heredity and environment.
8. Learning and experiences help one develop or grow in his personality.
9. Personality includes character, but it is not only character. Character is an ethical
concept, or a moral estimate.
10. Personality includes temperament, but it is not only temperament. (Temperament = the
emotional disposition or the affective part of one’s personality.)
11. Alfred Adler writes: “Man’s personality can be judged by the goals he sets for himself.”
Components of Personality
So what exactly makes up a personality? As described in the definitions above, you would
expect that traits and patterns of thought and emotion make up an important part. Some of the
other fundamental characteristics of personality include:
• Consistency - There is generally a recognizable order and regularity to behaviors.
Essentially, people act in the same ways or similar ways in a variety of situations.
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• Psychological and physiological - Personality is a psychological construct, but research

suggests that it is also influenced by biological processes and needs.
• It impacts behaviors and actions - Personality does not just influence how we move and
respond in our environment; it also causes us to act in certain ways.
• Multiple expressions - Personality is displayed in more than just behavior. It can also be
seen in our thoughts, feelings, close relationships and other social interactions.
Factors of PERSONALITY
1. Biological factors
2. Psychological factors
3. Environmental factors
4. Genetic influence
1. Biological factors
Biological determinants also called as physical determinants emphasize that physique and body
functioning are directly responsible for personality development. Some of these factors are: (i)
Body build (ii) Physical attractiveness (iii) Homeostasis (iv) Physical defects (v) Health
conditions
2. Psychological factors
2.1 Intellectual determinants
Researchers are of view that intellectual capacities influence personality through

various kinds of adjustments in life and indirectly through the judgments other persons make
of the individual on the basis of the person’s intellectual achievements.
This judgment in turn affects the evaluation and consequently the development of
personality. Intellectually bright men and women make better personal and social adjustments
than those of average or below average intelligence.
2.2 Emotional Factors
When the person encounters with obstacles and problems, unpleasant experiences like
fear, anger, envy and other negative emotions are aroused.
As a consequence, the person’s adjustments are adversely affected. Such conditions in
the long run are responsible for development of many pathological traits in the person. Also
emotional deprivation of pleasant emotions like love, happiness and curiosity also has an
impact, which gradually leads to poor personal and social adjustment
One of the common effects of deprivation of love and affection is the development of
emotional insecurity. Much of adolescent and adult rebellion against authority stems from
emotional insecurity which has its origin in unstable affectional relationship with parents and
other members of family during early childhood years.
3. Environmental factors
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3.1. The Educational Factors

Schools, colleges and teachers have significant impact upon the individual’s development of personality
Favourable Impact
determined by the students’ attitude towards school and colleges, towards peers, towards teachers and
also toward the value of education. When these attitudes are favourable, the students usually enjoy their
academic activities and have a warm and friendly relationship with teachers and their peers. This has a
very favorable impact upon the development of personality by producing stronger sense of self-
confidence and self-esteem.
Unfavourable Impact
when there is unfavourable attitudes amongst students towards education and educational institutions,
teachers and peers etc. . Research studies have further revealed that if the students are physically and
psychologically ready to enter the school or colleges, their attitude tend to be far more favorable.
3.2 Family Determinants

Strict, demanding, punitive and inhibiting parents / guardians tend to encourage their
children for depending upon external controls to guide their behaviour. As a result, when the
children are outside the direct control of their parents/guardian, they tend to show
impulsiveness in their behaviour
Indirectly, through identification with parents, children develop a personality pattern
similar to that of their parents.
For example, living with parents who are anxious, nervous and lacking the sense of
humor produces in the children a sense of nervousness and frequent outburst of temper.
Likewise, living with warm, affectionate, loving and interested parents generally produces a
social and gregarious person.
3.3 Culture Determines
According to Frank, ‘culture is a strong influence dominating the individual and

molding his personality by virtue of the ideas, conceptions and beliefs which had brought to
bear on him through communal life.
The culture provides the raw material of which the individual makes his life. The
traditions, customs, mores, religion, institutions, moral and social standards of a group affect
the personality of the group members. From the moment of birth, the child is treated in ways
which shape his personality. Every culture exerts a series of general influences upon the
individuals who grow up under it.
4. Genetic influence
The field of behavioral genetics focuses on the relationship between genes and behavior
and has given psychologists a glimpse of the link between genetics and personality. A large
part of the evidence collected linking genetics and the environment to personality comes from
twin studies, which compare levels of similarity in personality between genetically identical
twins.
It’s important to point out that traits are determined not by a single gene, but by a
combination of many genes, and also by environmental factors that control whether certain
genes are expressed.
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The Nature Theory – Hereditary

It has been demonstrated by scientists that traits such as eye color and hair color are
decided by specific genes that are embedded and encoded in each human cell. The things have
been taken a step further by the nature theory that formulates in more recent times it has also
been shown that the more abstract traits such as intelligence, personality, aggression and sexual
orientation are also encoded in an individual’s DNA. This has led to the concept of behavioural
genes which can justify criminal acts or criminal behaviours
The Nurture Theory – Environment

The proponents of the nurture theory are of the view that genetic tendencies ultimately
do not matter. They believe that our behavioral aspects originate only from the environmental
forces in our upbringing. American psychologist John Watson, a strong proponent of
environmental learning, demonstrated that disorders like phobia could also be explained by
classical conditioning. Today, known as the Father of Behavioral Science, B.F. Skinner proved
that human behaviour could be conditioned in much the same way as animals.
Types of personality
Type A: Director
A Type A personality likes to be in charge and be in control of their environment and their
lives. They’re normally not very detail-oriented, choosing to delegate details to others. They’re
usually very goal-oriented and practical in their solutions. And arriving at their solutions and
goals will entail a no-nonsense, bottom-line approach.
Strengths Weakness
• Embraces change • Stubborn

• Take-charge • Workaholic
• Fast-paced • Impatient
• Entrepreneurial • Abrupt
• Direct management style • Tough
• Ambitious • Easily angered
• Works well independently • Insensitive
• Passionate • Ill-tempered (short fuse)
• Demands maximum freedom • Intolerant
• Dominant • Domineering
• Good administrative skills
• Highly competitive
• Good delegation skills
• Multitasking
Motivates A Type A Personality • Freedom/independence

• Favorable risk-reward ratio
• Money
• Challenges
• Opportunity
• Urgency
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• Success • Explaining things in emotional

• Leadership terms or more than once to the
same person
Dislikes And Fears Of The Type A • Looking soft or vulnerable
Personality
• Falling into routines
• Touchy-feely things • Being taken advantage of
• Long explanations or descriptions • Losing
Jobs
• President/CEO
• General contractor
• Salesperson or sales manager
• Business owner
• Politician
• Entrepreneur
• Police/military officer
• Manager
• Executive
Type A personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

• Goal-oriented
• Risk-taking
• Good under stress
If a Type A personality sees their day-to-day job as routine or repetitive, they’ll get bored easily
and won’t enjoy the work. They’ll want others to view them as tough in these situations, but
internally they may be miserable if the job is too routine.
They’ll also be very dissatisfied if they believe someone is trying to take advantage of them or
hold them back. A Type A personality may not be very good at recognizing coworker's feelings
and needs. It’s not necessarily because they don't care; rather, they’re extremely focused on
achieving their goals and may not notice.
Type B - Socialize
The Type B personality is a very outgoing, energetic, and fast-paced individual who likes to be
around people and enjoys being the center of attention. They’re good relationship builders, and
most people like them right away. Their driving need is for approval, so they try to like
everyone in hopes everyone will like them too. Compliments, acknowledgement of their
achievements, words of admiration, and even applause from groups will be the most important
thing you can do for them.
Strengths • Fun-loving
• Persuasiveness
• Enthusiasm
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• Easily liked by most people • May try to do too much at once

• Friendliness • Impatient
• Charismatic • Sometimes unrealistic
• Idea person • Trouble being alone
• motivator • Doesn’t finish what was started
• Dreamer • Short attention span
• Lighthearted • Arrogant or cocky
• People-oriented • Easily bored
• Spontaneous • Self-indulgent
• Faster-paced • Prone to sweeping generalizations
• Self-confident • Impulsive
• Procrastination
Weakness • Whimsical
• Too self-involved
Motivates A Type B Personality Dislikes, And Fears of The Type B
Personality
• Public recognition
• Awards, plaques, certificates • Public humiliation
• Having picture taken with • Being unappreciated
celebrities • Appearing uninvolved
• Succeeding, especially beyond • Nonsocial types
peers • Appearing unattractive
• Being the center of attention, • People and things that distract
public speaker, director, etc. attention
• Acceptance • Appearing unsuccessful
• The latest styles and/or trends • Appearing unacceptable
Jobs
• Public relations
• Salesperson
• Entertainment
• Personnel interviewer
• Professional host(ess)
• Politician
• Recreation director
• Party planner
• Customer service/relations
Type B personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

• Relationship-oriented
• Outgoing
• Enthusiastic
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Type B personalities love to talk about themselves. Some may view that as self-centered, but a
Type B’s real motivation is to be liked. For an extreme (and funny).
The Type B personality’s biggest fear is being humiliated in public, since that might make
many people disapprove of them, and the thought of that would be devastating. The B
personality doesn't want to appear unattractive or unsuccessful either, so they’ll make sure their
appearance is impeccable and will always give the impression of being very successful at
whatever they do, whether they are or not. . In business, Type B personalities may tend to over
socialize and not spend as much time doing their work because they strive for the social
interaction.
Type C - Thinker
The Type C personality is a very detail-oriented individual who likes to be involved in things
that are controlled and stable. They’re interested in accuracy, rationality, and logic. People who
can't seem to control their emotions will bother them because Type C personalities believe
being emotional makes objectivity difficult or perhaps impossible. They also dislike being
around people who are full of hype, since they desire facts, accuracy, and logic. Other people's
emotions may not be a priority for them, as they tend to strive for the facts and let the chips fall
where they may.
Strengths • Quality control
• Thoughtful
• Accuracy
• Creative Weakness
• Dependable
• Imaginative • Worry about progress
• Independent • Can appear unsocial
• Detailed • Critical behavior
• Follow-through • Likes to do things their own way
• Plays by the rules • Detached behavior
• Organized • Can see the glass half empty
• Intelligent • Skeptical, disbelieving
• Analytical • May never have personal
• Critical thinker expectations met
• Disengagement
Dislikes, And Fears Of The Type C • Loss of control

Personality • Being subject to control or
supervision by people they don’t
• Uncontrolled emotions
trust or respect
• Irrational acts
• Distractions or distracting people
• Indecision
• People who are self-centered, or
self-aggrandizement
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• Research scientist
• Game designer
Jobs
• Data analyst
• Forecaster • Pilot
• Troubleshooter • Programmer/analyst
• Critic • Artist
• Investigator (police, crime scene, • Actuary
private, etc.) • Musician
• Engineer • Accountant/auditor
• Technical support • Inventor
Type C personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

• Detail-oriented
• Logical
• Prepared
Type C personalities tend to be quite controlling, both of themselves and others. They don't
like things to get out of hand and may not appear very expressive at times because they don't
really want themselves to display a lot of emotion. They’re very outcome-driven and will be
sticklers for following procedures and protocol in getting the job done.
They’re careful, resourceful, and, above all, excellent thinkers who will look at all aspects of
an issue before taking a stand. Once they take a stand on an issue, though, they’ll have the facts
to back it up, so anyone who challenges them better be prepared.
They like their jobs to be clearly defined and want to know exactly what’s expected of them.
Knowing those facts, they will be able to prioritize their tasks and see them through to
completion.
When in decision-making roles, they’re cautious and logical, requiring many details and facts
before they make a decision.
Many accountants and lawyers, for example, are Type C personalities. They’re excellent for
any job that requires creative thinking based on patience, facts, and accuracy
Type D – Supporter
A Type D personality takes a slower, easier pace toward their work and life in general. They
seek security and longevity on the job and are very happy doing a repetitive task, day in and
day out. The repetition allows them to become very skilled in what they do. Likewise, they
won't like it if the rules change a lot, as that’s contrary to their desire to minimize change and
stick with what they know works. For the Type D personality, even though the current way
may be unpleasant, they worry that the unknown may be even worse.
Strengths • Caring
• Sincere
• Low-key
• Compassionate
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• Stable Weakness
• Fair and equitable
• Not speaking up
• Calm
• Easily used by others
• Unimposing
• Going along when they don’t agree
• Looks approachable
• Uncomfortable with constant
• Dependable
change
• Appearance of strength
• Going along to avoid confrontation
• Trusting
• Less assertive
• Minimal mood swings
• Gets hurt feelings
• Self-confident
• Shy
• Reliable
• Resistant to change
• Consistent
• Observant
• Good at routines or repetitive tasks
Motivates A Type D Personality • Risks

• Pushy people
• Stability
• Change (especially frequent
• Benefits
change)
• Security
• Instability
• Low risk
• Disorganization
• Routine
• Aggressive behavior
• Team/group opportunities
• Disruption in routine
• Calm work atmosphere
• Surprises
• The unknown
• Conflict
Dislikes, And Fears of The Type D

Personality
Jobs
• Secure team position • Personal assistant/secretary
• Administrator • Minister
• Financial services • Insurance agent
• HR manager • Supervisor
• Social worker • Librarian
• Bureaucrat • Security guard
• Family doctor/nurse • Customer service representative
• Assembly line worker
• Residential/community services
• Mechanic
• Teacher
• Counselor
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Type D personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

• Task-oriented
• Stabilizing
• Cautious
They seek the respect, sincere admiration, and acceptance of others. The Type D personality
will gladly work hard to please the people they work for as long as they feel appreciated and
receive plenty of reassurance that they’re needed. They need that sense of security. Type D
personalities often think the Type A personality is crazy for taking so many risks and not
showing much concern for security and longevity.
They’re also good at playing a very supportive role with others and are normally very caring,
thoughtful, and compassionate. They are patient, tend to be good listeners, and will persevere
when all others have given up. They especially like working in a group or on a team and will
be a stabilizing force in these scenarios.
Although they may not be as fast as others, they’re accurate and thorough. They’ll usually keep
their feelings to themselves and are reluctant to express themselves, even if a more assertive
type seems to be taking advantage of them. They tend to go along to get along.
Unit 4
The manning and concept of life skills

Life Skills includes the ability to adeptly manage the challenges and demands of our
lives, to have adaptability and adopt positive behavioral abilities. In general terms, you may
say that any types of skills that are useful in human lives are life skills.
As per WHO (World Health Organization), life skills revolve around six different key areas,
and they are-
• Communication and interpersonal skills
• Decision making and problem-solving skills
• Creative thinking and critical thinking
• Self-awareness and empathy
• Assertiveness and equanimity, or self-control
• Resilience and ability to cope with problems
• At different stages of our lives, we need different life skills associated with the
aforementioned key areas.
Examples of Life Skills

• Study Life Skills for the students at school or university
• Negotiation Life Skills while buying a house
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• Employability Life Skills to get a job

• Leadership Life Skills while leading teams or groups
• Parenting Life Skills while starting a new family
• Ability and willingness to learn for improving your lifestyle
Types of Life Skills

Various kinds of life skills are required in different scenarios. We are going to enlist some of
those below-
Effective communication
Effective communication occurs when there is shared meaning. The message that is
sent is the same message that is received. There must be a mutual understanding between the
sender and the receiver for the transmission of ideas or information to be successful.
Effective communication may be defined as:

• Using language that is appropriate to others' levels of understanding. Making sure
others receive the information or knowledge intended. Developing relationships with
others.
• Talking with others in a way that facilitates openness, honesty and cooperation.
Providing feedback.
• Effective communication is a part and parcel of any successful organization. Any
communication should be free from barriers so as to be effective.
The characteristics of effective communication are:

Clarity of Purpose: The message to be delivered must be clear in the mind of sender. The
person to whom it is targeted and the aim of the message should be clear.
Completeness: The message delivered should be complete. It should be supported by facts and
observations. It should be well planned and organized. No assumptions should be made by the
receiver.
Conciseness: The message should be concise. It should not include any unnecessary details. It
should be short and complete.
Feedback: Whether the message sent by the sender is understood in same terms by the receiver
or not can be judged by the feedback received. The feedback should be timely and in personal.
It should be specific rather than general.
Empathy: Empathy with the listeners is essential for effective verbal communication. The
speaker should step into the shoes of the listener and be sensitive to their needs and emotions.
This way he can understand things from their perspective and make communication more
effective.
Modify the message according to the audience: The information requirement by different
people in the organization differs according to their needs. What is relevant to the middle level
management might not be relevant to the top level of management. Use of jargons should be
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minimized because it might lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretations. The message

should be modified according to the needs and requirements of the targeted audience.
Multiple Channels of communication: For effective communication multiple channels
should be used as it increases the chances of clarity of message. The message is reinforced by
using different channels and there are less chances of deformation of message.
Make effective use of Grapevine (informal channel of communication): The employees and
managers should not always discourage grapevine. They should make effective use of
grapevine. The managers can use grapevine to deliver formal messages and for identification
of issues which are significant for the employees. The managers can get to know the problems
faced by the employees and can work upon it.
7 C’s and 4 S’s of Communication

In any business environment, adherence to the 7 C’s and the 4 S’s of Communication
helps the sender in transmitting his message with ease and accuracy. The 7 C’s are as follows:
Credibility: If the sender can establish his credibility, the receiver has no problems in
accepting his statement. Establishing credibility is not the outcome of a one-shot statement. It
is a long-drawn out process in which the receiver through constant interaction with the sender
understands his credible nature and is willing to accept his statements as being truthful and
honest. Once the credibility of the sender has been established, attempts should be made at
being courteous in expression. Much can be accomplished if tact, diplomacy and appreciation
of people are woven in the message. Courtesy implies taking into consideration both
viewpoints as well as feelings of the receiver of the message. A courteous message is positive
and focused at the audience. It makes use of terms showing respect for the receiver of message
and it is not biased.
Completeness: The communication must be complete. It should convey all facts required by
the audience. The sender of the message must take into consideration the receiver’s mind set
and convey the message accordingly. A complete communication develops and enhances
reputation of an organization. It is cost saving as no crucial information is missing and no
additional cost is incurred in conveying extra message if the communication is complete. A
complete communication always gives additional information wherever required. It leaves no
questions in the mind of the receiver. Complete communication helps in better decision-making
by the audience/ readers/ receivers of message as they get all desired and crucial information.
It persuades the audience.
Clarity: Absolute clarity of ideas adds much to the meaning of the message. The first stage is
clarity in the mind of the sender. The next stage is the transmission of the message in a manner
which makes it simple for the receiver to comprehend. As far as possible, simple language and
easy sentence constructions, which are not difficult for the receiver to grasp, should be used.
Clarity in communication makes understanding easier. Complete clarity of thoughts and ideas
enhances the meaning of message. A clear message makes use of exact, appropriate and
concrete words.
Correctness: The sender should ensure that his knowledge of the receiver is comprehensive.
The level of knowledge, educational background and status of the decoder help the encoder in
formulating his message. In case there is any discrepancy between the usage and
comprehension of terms, miscommunication can arise. If the sender decides to back up his
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communication with facts and figures, there should be accuracy in stating the same. A situation
in which the listener is forced to check the presented facts and figures should not arise. Finally,
the usage of terms should be nondiscriminatory. In correct communication the message is
exact, correct and well-timed; it boosts up the confidence level; a correct message has greater
impact on the audience/ readers; it checks for the precision and accurateness of facts and figures
used in the message and makes use of appropriate and correct language in the message.
Consistency: The approach to communication should, as far as possible, be consistent. There
should not be too many ups and downs that might lead to confusion in the mind of the receiver.
If a certain stand has been taken, it should be observed without there being situations in which
the sender desires to bring about a change in his understanding of the situation. He should
ensure that the shift is gradual and not hard for the receiver to comprehend.
Concreteness: Concrete and specific expressions are to be preferred in favour of vague and
abstract expressions. In continuation of the point on correctness, the facts and figures presented
should be specific. Abstractions or abstract statements can cloud the mind of the sender. Instead
of stating “There has been a rise in paddy yield”, if the sender made the following statement:
“There has been a rise in paddy yield by almost 20% as compared to last year”, the receiver is
more apt to listen and comprehend the details. Concrete message is supported with specific
facts and figures; it makes use of words that are clear and build the reputation and concrete
messages are not misinterpreted.
Conciseness: The message to be communicated should be as brief and concise as possible. As
far as possible, only simple and brief statements should be made. Excessive information can
also sway the receiver into either a wrong direction or into inaction. Quantum of information
should be just right, neither too much nor too little. Concise communication is both time-saving
as well as cost-saving. It underlines and highlights the main message as it avoids using
excessive and needless words. Concise communication provides short and essential message
in limited words to the audience. A concise message is more appealing and comprehensible to
the audience and is non-repetitive in nature.
4S’s: An understanding of the 4 S’s is equally important.
Shortness: It is often said that “Brevity is the soul of wit.”. The same can be said about
communication. If the message can be made brief, then transmission and comprehension of
messages is going to be faster and more effective. Flooding messages with high sounding words
does not create an impact. Often, the receiver has spent a major chunk of his time in trying to
decipher the actual meaning of the message.
Simplicity: Simplicity both in the usage of words and ideas reveals clarity in the thinking
process. Using simple terminology and equally simple concepts would help.
Strength: The strength of a message emanates from the credibility of the sender. If the sender
himself believes in a message that he is about to transmit, there is bound to be strength and
conviction in whatever he tries to state. Half-hearted statements or utterances that the sender
himself does not believe in add a touch of falsehood to the entire communication process.
Sincerity: A sincere approach to an issue is clearly evident to the receiver. If the sender is
genuine, it will be reflected in the manner in which he communicates.
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Empathy
Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key
element of Emotional Intelligence, the link between self and others, because it is how we as
individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves.
Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be considered ‘feeling for’ someone.
Empathy, instead, is ‘feeling with’ that person, through the use of imagination.
Elements of Empathy
Daniel Goleman identified five key elements of empathy.

• Understanding Others
• Developing Others
• Having a Service Orientation
• Leveraging Diversity
• Political Awareness
1. Understanding Others
• This is perhaps what most people understand by ‘empathy’: in Goleman’s words,

“sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their
concerns”. Those who do this:
• Tune into emotional cues. They listen well, and also pay attention to non-verbal
communication, picking up subtle cues almost subconsciously. For more, see our
pages on Listening Skills and Non-Verbal Communication.
• Show sensitivity, and understand others’ perspectives.
• Are able to help other people based on their understanding of those people’s needs
and feelings.
2. Developing Others
• Developing others means acting on their needs and concerns, and helping them to
develop to their full potential. People with skills in this area usually:
• Reward and praise people for their strengths and accomplishments, and provide
constructive feedback designed to focus on how to improve. See our page on Giving
and Receiving Feedback for more.
• Provide mentoring and coaching to help others to develop to their full potential. See
our pages on Mentoring and Coaching Skills for more.
• Provide stretching assignments that will help their teams to develop. See our page on
Delegation Skills.
• There is also plenty about developing others on our Leadership Skills pages: look out
in particular for Motivating Others, Creating a Motivational Environment, and
Effective Team-Working Skills.
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3. Having a Service Orientation
• Primarily aimed at work situations, having a service orientation means putting the
needs of customers first and looking for ways to improve their satisfaction and
loyalty.
• People who have this approach will ‘go the extra mile’ for customers. They will
genuinely understand customers’ needs, and go out of their way to help meet them.
• In this way, they can become a ‘trusted advisor’ to customers, developing a long-term
relationship between customer and organisation. This can happen in any industry, and
any situation.
4. Leveraging Diversity
• Leveraging diversity means being able to create and develop opportunities through
different kinds of people, recognising and celebrating that we all bring something
different to the table.
• Leveraging diversity does not mean that you treat everyone in exactly the same way,
but that you tailor the way you interact with others to fit with their needs and feelings.
• People with this skill respect and relate well to everyone, regardless of their
background. As a general rule, they see diversity as an opportunity, understanding
that diverse teams work much better than teams that are more homogeneous. Our
pages on Group and Team Roles and Effective Team-Working explain why diverse
groups perform much better than homogeneous ones.
• People who are good at leveraging diversity also challenge intolerance, bias and
stereotyping when they see it, creating an atmosphere that is respectful towards
everyone.
5. Political Awareness
• Many people view ‘political’ skills as manipulative, but in its best sense, ‘political’
means sensing and responding to a group’s emotional undercurrents and power
relationships.
• Political awareness can help individuals to navigate organisational relationships
effectively, allowing them to achieve where others may previously have failed.
Three Types of Empathy
Psychologists have identified three types of empathy: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy
and compassionate empathy.
• Cognitive empathy is understanding someone’s thoughts and emotions, in a

very rational, rather than emotional sense.
• Emotional empathy is also known as emotional contagion, and is ‘catching’
someone else’s feelings, so that you literally feel them too.
• Compassionate empathy is understanding someone’s feelings, and taking
appropriate action to help.
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Critical Thinking
Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skilfully
conceptualizing, applying, analysing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered
from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a
guide to belief and action.
Critical thinking is that mode of thinking - about any subject, content, or problem - in which
the thinker improves the quality of his or her thinking by skillfully taking charge of the
structures inherent in thinking and imposing intellectual standards upon them.
Critical thinking can be seen as having two components:
1) a set of information and belief generating and processing skills
2) the habit, based on intellectual commitment, of using those skills to guide behavior. It is thus
to be contrasted with:
I. the mere acquisition and retention of information alone, because it involves a particular
way in which information is sought and treated;
II. the mere possession of a set of skills, because it involves the continual use of them;
III. the mere use of those skills ("as an exercise") without acceptance of their results.
A well cultivated critical thinker:
• raises vital questions and problems, formulating them clearly and precisely;
• gathers and assesses relevant information, using abstract ideas to interpret it effectively
comes to well-reasoned conclusions and solutions, testing them against relevant criteria
and standards;
• thinks open-mindedly within alternative systems of thought, recognizing and assessing,
as need be, their assumptions, implications, and practical consequences; and
• communicates effectively with others in figuring out solutions to complex problems.
• Critical thinking is, in short, self-directed, self-disciplined, self-monitored, and self-
corrective thinking. It presupposes assent to rigorous standards of excellence and
mindful command of their use. It entails effective communication and problem-solving
abilities and a commitment to overcome our native egocentrism and sociocentrism.
Creativity Thinking
Creativity
How exactly do psychologists define creativity? Studying creativity can be a tricky process.
Not only is creativity a complex topic in and of itself, but there is also no clear consensus on
how exactly to define creativity. Many of the most common definitions suggest that creativity
is the tendency to solve problems or create new things in novel ways.
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The Components of Creativity

Two of the primary components of creativity include:
Originality: The idea should be something new that is not simply an extension of something
else that already exists.
Functionality: The idea needs to actually work or possess some degree of usefulness.
When Does Creativity Happen?
In his book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention,
psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggested that creativity can often be seen in a few
different situations.
People who seem stimulating, interesting, and have a variety of unusual thoughts.
People who perceive the world with a fresh perspective, have insightful ideas and make
important personal discoveries. These individuals make creative discoveries that are generally
known only to them.
People who make great creative achievements that become known to the entire world.
Inventors and artists such as Thomas Edison and Pablo Picasso would fall into this category.
Types of Creativity
Experts also tend to distinguish between different types of creativity. The “four c” model of
creativity suggests that there are four different types:
“Mini-c” creativity involves personally meaningful ideas and insights that are known only to
the self.
“Little-c” creativity involves mostly everyday thinking and problem-solving. This type of
creativity helps people solve everyday problems they face and adapt to changing environments.
“Pro-C” creativity takes place among professionals who are skilled and creative in their
respective fields. These individuals are creative in their vocation or profession but do not
achieve eminence for their works.
“Big-C” creativity involves creating works and ideas that are considered great in a particular
field. This type of creativity leads to eminence and acclaim and often leads to world-changing
creations such as medical innovations, technological advances, and artistic achievements.
What Does It Take to Be Creative?
Csikszentmihalyi suggests that creative people tend to possess are a variety of traits that
contribute to their innovative thinking. Some of these key traits include:
Energy: Creative people tend to possess a great deal of both physical and mental energy.
However, they also tend to spend a great deal of time quietly thinking and reflecting.
Intelligence: Psychologists have long believed that intelligence plays a critical role in
creativity. In Terman’s famous longitudinal study of gifted children, researchers found that
while high IQ was necessary for great creativity, not all people with high IQs are creative.
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Csikszentmihalyi believes that creative people must be smart, but they must be capable of
looking at things in fresh, even naïve, ways.
Discipline: Creative people do not just sit around waiting for inspiration to strike. They are
playful, yet they are also disciplined in the pursuit of their work and passions.
While some people seem to come by creativity naturally, there are things that you can do
to increase your own creativity. As Csikszentmihalyi has noted, creativity requires both a fresh
perspective combined with discipline. As Thomas Edison famously suggested, genius is one
percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
The late Maya Angelou also suggested that thinking creativity helps foster even greater
creativity:
"Creativity or talent, like electricity, is something I don’t understand but something I’m able to
harness and use. While electricity remains a mystery, I know I can plug into it and light up a
cathedral or a synagogue or an operating room and use it to help save a life. Or I can use it to
electrocute someone. Like electricity, creativity makes no judgment. I can use it productively
or destructively. The important thing is to use it. You can’t use up creativity. The more you use
it, the more you have."
Unit 5
Interpersonal relationship
• A strong bond between two or more people refers to interpersonal relationship.
Attraction between individuals brings them close to each other and eventually results
in a strong interpersonal relationship.
Forms of Interpersonal relationship
• An interpersonal relationship can develop between any of the following:

• Individuals working together in the same organization.
• People working in the same team.
• Relationship between a man and a woman (Love, Marriage).
• Relationship with immediate family members and relatives.
• Relationship of a child with his parents.
• Relationship between friends.
Relationship can also develop in a group (Relationship of students with their teacher,
relationship of a religious guru with his disciples and so on)
Must have in an Interpersonal Relationship
• Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must share common goals and objectives.

They should have more or less similar interests and think on the same lines. It is
always better if individuals come from similar backgrounds.
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• Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must respect each other’s views and

opinions. A sense of trust is important.
• Individuals must be attached to each other for a healthy interpersonal relationship.
• Transparency plays a pivotal role in interpersonal relationship. It is important for an
individual to be honest and transparent.
Interpersonal Relationship between a man and a woman
• A strong interpersonal relationship between a man and a woman leads to friendship,

love and finally ends in marriage.
• A sense of commitment is essential in marriages and love affairs.
• Partners must feel attached to each other and most importantly trust each other.
• Famous psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed the triangular theory of love in
interpersonal relationship.
According to triangular theory of love following three components lay the foundation in love
affairs and marriages.
• Passion
• Intimacy
• Commitment
The amount of love in any relationship is directly proportional to the above three
components. More the three components, stronger the relationship is.
Passion: Passion refers to the physical and sexual attraction between two individuals.
Individuals must feel physically attracted to each other for the charm to stay in relationship
for a much longer period of time.
Intimacy: The amount of closeness between two individuals in a relationship refers to

intimacy. Partners must gel with each other and a strong bond between them is essential.
Commitment: The decision of two individuals to stay together forever is called

commitment. Commitment is nothing but two people deciding to be with each other life-long
either by staying together or by entering the wedlock.
If any of the above factors is missing from a relationship, love fades away in a short span of
time giving rise to troubles and sorrows.
Relationship between friends
• Friends must be honest to each other.

• Stand by your friends at times of need.
• Avoid leg pulling, criticism and making fun of your friends.
• Try not to mix friendship with love as it creates problems and misunderstandings.
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• Interpersonal relationship between children and their parents, brother and sister,
immediate family members or relatives revolve around trust, commitment and care.
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
Interpersonal skills are measures of how adept you are at interacting with others. Active
listening is an interpersonal skill, as is knowing how to communicate to someone else that you
respect him or her. When problems arise you use your interpersonal skills to resolve conflict
with others. People learn interpersonal skills by interacting with family members, going to
school, and socializing with their peers. Healthy interpersonal skills reduce stress, resolve
conflict, improve communication, enhance intimacy, increase understanding, and promote joy.
Examples of Interpersonal Skills
• Communication skills involve both listening and speaking effectively; verbal and
nonverbal and listening skills
• Assertiveness skills involve expressing yourself and your rights without violating
others’ rights.
• Conflict is natural and inevitable. Conflict resolution skills help you resolve
differences so that you may continue a relationship effectively.
• Anger management skills involve recognizing and expressing anger appropriately in
order to achieve goals, handle emergencies, solve problems and even protect our health.
• Team working: being able to work with others in groups and teams, both formal and
informal.
Meaning of Decision Making:

Decision making means deciding to choose one of several alternatives.
Ex. One day you go to the market with Rs. 1,000 to buy a saree. The salesman shows you
several sarees of similar rate and you have to decide which saree you would like to buy. This
is decision making.
While making such a decision one has to consider, the quality, colour, texture, print etc. of the
saree and whether it will suit her or not. Besides, whether the design of the saree is the ‘in’
thing, that has also to be considered.
When the budget is fixed or there are few alternatives, the scope of decision making is limited
or narrowed down and conflict is less.
Further the decision should be such that it would not create subsequent problems. Sometimes
a wrong choice may have negative, far reaching and unpleasant consequences like decision to
accept or change a job, to study arts or science, selection of subjects in the college carrier, to
leave one political party and join another, to file a divorce, to agree to undergo surgery, to leave
29
one’s own country and join a job abroad, more often than not are complex decisions. Such
decisions are usually accompanied by anxiety, tension, fear, doubt and regret.
While making a decision one usually reviews the different aspects of the decision and its
advantages and disadvantages
The head does not always rule the heart, rather quite often the heart rules the head in decision
making which is not unrare. There are also over simplification of facts due to perceptual
distoration like seeing the facts not as they are, but as we are.
The person sitting in the chair of decision making should not be influenced by fear and favour.
A decision can be made alone or in consultation with the other members of the organisation.
Leaders of any social, political, economic or administrative organisations have to take hundreds
and thousands of decision daily.
Stages in Decision Making:

1. Deliberation:
The first stage of decision making process starts from the point at which deliberation begins.
In this stage different aspects of the problem and the pros and cons of the possible alternatives
are examined in proper prospective.
2. Act of making a choice:

While making a choice between different alternative, certain alternatives which do not have
much relevance may be omitted from the list of possible alternatives, so that it becomes easy
to take a decision from a few alternative.
3. Final choice:
After examining all aspects, finally a decision is arrived at, which is considered right, helpful,
practicable and profitable in the present situation.
4. Post decision period:

The post decision period includes the psychological consequences of making a choice, the
relationship between decision making and the major sources of conflict and modes of conflict
resolution at each stage of the decision sequence.
A person may take a biased or wrong decision:

(1) If there is no penalty for a wrong decision.
(2) If the penalty for wrong decision is remote.
(3) If there is a scope to change his decision afterwards.
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(4) When all the relevant informations are available.
Although this happens with many simple, routined, day to day decisions, if may also happen
with complex, important and potentially painful decisions.
Steps for Appropriate Decision Making:

Calkins (1959) is of view that an administrator has to follow the following five steps for an
appropriate decision making:
1. Identification and undertaking of the problem.
2. Defining and clarifying goals.
3. Alternative goals.
4. Analysing the anticipated consequences of each alternative.
5. Selecting a course of action.
Problem solving life skills

The ability to solve problems is a basic life skill and is essential to our day-to-day lives,
at home, at school, and at work. Problem-solving skills, \are often referring to the ability to
handle difficult or unexpected situations in the workplace as well as complex business
challenges. Good problem-solving skills empower you not only in your personal life but are
critical in your professional life.
Problem-solving skills help you determine the source of a problem and find an effective
solution. Although problem-solving is often identified as its own separate skill, there are other
related skills that contribute to this ability.
Some key problem-solving skills include:
• Active listening
• Analysis
• Research
• Creativity
• Communication
• Dependability
• Decision making
• Team-building
Problem-solving skills are important in every career at every level. As a result, effective
problem solving may also require industry or job-specific technical skills. For example, a
registered nurse will need active listening and communication skills when interacting with
patients but will also need effective technical knowledge related to diseases and medications.
31
In many cases, a nurse will need to know when to consult a doctor regarding a patient’s medical
needs as part of the solution.
Here are a few examples of skills you may use when solving a problem.
Research
Researching is an essential skill related to problem solving. As a problem solver, you need to
be able to identify the cause of the issue and understand it fully. You can begin to gather more
information about a problem by brainstorming with other team members, consulting more
experienced colleagues or acquiring knowledge through online research or courses.
Analysis
The first step to solving any problem is to analyse the situation. Your analytical skills will help
you understand problems and effectively develop solutions. You will also need analytical skills
during research to help distinguish between effective and ineffective solutions.
Decision-making
Ultimately, you will need to make a decision about how to solve problems that arise. At times
(and with industry experience), you may be able to make a decision quickly. Solid research and
analytical skills can help those who have less experience in their field. There may also be times
when it is appropriate to take some time to craft a solution or escalate the issue to someone
more capable of solving it.
Communication
When identifying possible solutions, you will need to know how to communicate the problem
to others. You will also need to know what communication channels are the most appropriate
when seeking assistance. Once you find a solution, communicating it clearly will help reduce
any confusion and make implementing a solution easier.
Dependability
Dependability is one of the most important skills for problem-solvers. Solving problems in a
timely manner is essential. Employers highly value individuals they can trust to both identify
and then implement solutions as fast and effectively as possible.
Coping with stress

There are three interactional levels: 1. on a biological level, there are immunological
defences and damage-repair mechanisms; 2. on a psychological and interpersonal level, there
are learned coping patterns, self-defences, and support from family and friends; and 3. on a
socio cultural level, there are group resources such as labour unions, religious organizations,
and law enforcement agencies.
The failure of coping efforts on any of these levels may seriously increase a person’s
vulnerability on other levels.
32
In coping with stress, a person is confronted with 2 challenges; 1. Meeting the requirements of
the stressor, and 2. Protecting himself or herself from psychological or physical damage and
disorganization.
These challenges can be met in two general ways;
▪ Task-oriented coping; A task-oriented response may involve making changes
in one’s self, one’s surroundings, or both, depending on the situation. (showing
one’s spouse more affection) (Trying to find workable compromise).
▪ Defense-oriented coping; when a person’s feelings of adequacy are seriously
threatened by a stressor, a defense-oriented response tends to prevail – that is,
behavior is directed primarily at protecting the self from hurt and
disorganization, rather than at resolving the situation. Ex. Driver met with an
accident, runs away instead of saving the affected people.
There are two common types of defense-oriented response.
▪ It consists of response such as crying, repetitive talking, and mourning
that seem to function as psychological damage-repair mechanisms.
▪ It consists of ego-defense or self-defense such as denial and repression,
relieve tension and anxiety and protect the self from hurt and devaluation
(depression). (due to fear, projecting blame on others)
Coping With Emotional Stress

Fortunately, while you can't always fix these situations overnight, you can lessen the emotional
stress you feel, and the toll this stress takes on you. Here are some exercises you can try to
effectively cope with emotional stress.
Practice Mindfulness
When we feel emotional stress, it's also often experienced as physical pain. You may feel a
'heavy' feeling in the chest, an unsettled feeling in the stomach, a dull headache.
It's common to try to escape these feelings, but it can actually be helpful to go deeper into the
experience and use mindfulness to really notice where these emotional responses are felt
physically. Some people notice that the pain seems more intense before dissipating, but then
they feel the emotional and physical pain is lessened.
Distract Yourself
Common belief used to be that if we didn't express every emotion we felt (or at least the big
ones), they would show themselves in other ways. In some ways, this is true. There are benefits
to examining our emotional states to learn from what our emotions are trying to tell us, and
'stuffing our emotions' in unhealthy ways can bring other problems.
However, it's also been discovered that distracting oneself from emotional pain with
emotionally healthy alternatives—such as a feel-good movie, fun activities with friends, or a
satisfying mental challenge—can lessen emotional pain and help us feel better.
33
How to Cope With Emotions Using Distraction
Block Off Some Time
If you find that emotional stress and rumination creep into your awareness quite a bit, and
distraction doesn't work, try scheduling some time—an hour a day, perhaps—where you allow
yourself to think about your situation fully and mull over solutions, concoct hypothetical
possibilities, replay upsetting exchanges, or whatever you feel the emotional urge to do.
Journaling is a great technique to try here, especially if it's done as both an exploration of your
inner emotional world and an exploration of potential solutions. Talk to your friends about the
problem, if you'd like. Fully immerse yourself. And then try some healthy distractions.
This technique works well for two reasons. First, if you really have the urge to obsess, this
allows you to satisfy that craving in a limited context. Also, you may find yourself more relaxed
the rest of the day because you know that there will be a time to focus on your emotional
situation; that time is just later.
Practice Meditation
Meditation is very helpful for dealing with a variety of stressors, and emotional stress is
definitely in the category of stressors that meditation helps with. It allows you to take a break
from rumination by actively redirecting your thoughts, and provides practice in choosing
thoughts, which can help eliminate some emotional stress in the long term.
5 Meditation Techniques to Get You Started
Talk to a Therapist
If you find your level of emotional stress interfering with your daily activities or threatening
your well-being in other ways, you may consider seeing a therapist for help working through
emotional issues. Whatever the cause of your emotional stress, you can work toward lessening
and managing it and feeling better in the process, without losing the 'messages' that your
emotions are bringing you
34

Unit 1-5 Self Develpment and LIfe Skills

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Unit 1-5 Self Develpment and LIfe Skills

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Self-Development & Life Skills by Fr.

Self as Subject and Self as Object

Self-worth (or self-esteem)

Self-image – How we see ourselves, which is important to good psychological health.

Johari Window Quadrant 1: Open Area or Arena

5. Honest feedback builds strong team engagement

Constructive feedback Vs Destructive Feedback

• Give genuine compliments and appreciate the person

• Even when you disagree, say, "No" politely

• Avoid these verbal communication barriers:

(1) freedom from fear

(2) appearing human

Factors Influencing Disclosure

A number of factors influence when to disclose and when not to disclose.

Definitions and meaning of Personality

• Psychological and physiological - Personality is a psychological construct, but research

Researchers are of view that intellectual capacities influence personality through

2.2 Emotional Factors

3.1. The Educational Factors

3.2 Family Determinants

3.3 Culture Determines

According to Frank, ‘culture is a strong influence dominating the individual and

The Nature Theory – Hereditary

The Nurture Theory – Environment

• Embraces change • Stubborn

Motivates A Type A Personality • Freedom/independence

• Success • Explaining things in emotional

Type A personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

• Easily liked by most people • May try to do too much at once

Type B personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

Dislikes, And Fears Of The Type C • Loss of control

Type C personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

Motivates A Type D Personality • Risks

Dislikes, And Fears of The Type D

Type D personalities can typically be identified by the following traits:

The manning and concept of life skills

Examples of Life Skills

• Employability Life Skills to get a job

Types of Life Skills

Effective communication may be defined as:

The characteristics of effective communication are:

minimized because it might lead to misunderstanding and misinterpretations. The message

7 C’s and 4 S’s of Communication

Daniel Goleman identified five key elements of empathy.

• This is perhaps what most people understand by ‘empathy’: in Goleman’s words,

3. Having a Service Orientation

Three Types of Empathy

• Cognitive empathy is understanding someone’s thoughts and emotions, in a

A well cultivated critical thinker:

The Components of Creativity

Forms of Interpersonal relationship

• An interpersonal relationship can develop between any of the following:

Must have in an Interpersonal Relationship

• Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must share common goals and objectives.

• Individuals in an interpersonal relationship must respect each other’s views and

Interpersonal Relationship between a man and a woman

• A strong interpersonal relationship between a man and a woman leads to friendship,

Intimacy: The amount of closeness between two individuals in a relationship refers to

Commitment: The decision of two individuals to stay together forever is called

Relationship between friends

• Friends must be honest to each other.

Meaning of Decision Making:

Stages in Decision Making:

2. Act of making a choice: