Ten years ago, I was a young girl with an extraordinary passion for gymnastics.

I dreamed of
becoming an Olympian, just like my then-idol, Shawn Johnson. As I progressed in age, I
realized becoming an Olympic athlete was unreasonable for me, so I became fond of a different
dream: competing in college gymnastics. Two years ago, I was pushing myself to become a
level 10 gymnast in hopes of earning a college scholarship. My six and fifteen year-old-selves
would never have foreseen giving up their gymnastics careers. However, shortly after my junior
year of high school, I decided to leave gymnastics behind, and it became a life-changing choice.

I had no idea how much I would lose when I decided to walk out on gymnastics. Gymnastics
was my entire life. It dictated my schedule, my education, and my relationships with others.
When I left my gym, I no longer saw my friends every day, I craved athletic validation from my
coaches, and I missed the good parts of gymnastics, which appeared very rarely during the last
months of my career. In the past, I envisioned myself, as a high school senior, driving to and
from practice every day, balancing school and athletics, and obtaining a scholarship from one of
my dream colleges. Life is not at all how I had envisioned it, and that's okay. Through long
hours of confusion and a lot of time spent reflecting, I reached a new level of personal growth. I
had a really hard time finding things to get involved in; it was like I had been placed in a
completely different body. I encouraged myself to finally understand who I was without
gymnastics. I learned new things about the girl I had become, such as hobbies and passions;
things I never had time to discover before. I rekindled my love for singing, became more
passionate about reading, and developed my fondness for writing.

For the longest time, I felt completely disconnected from the world without gymnastics. Losing
the one thing that gave me a sense of worth and purpose created a very large crack in my life
and my self-perception. Through it all, I learned there is never just one thing that defines
someone, and I determined that things may not always work out in the way you hope them to. It
was a long time before I could come to terms with my decision, and even now I sometimes find
myself having feelings of regret. However, I am forever grateful that the journey led me to
rediscover and rewrite the future chapters of my life story, making me a much healthier and
more secure individual. Gymnastics will always be a part of my mind and heart, but I am
relieved that I chose to place space between the sport and myself, as I was finally allowed to
find my true self beneath all my layers, and I couldn’t be more content.