Architect

Personality
INTJ-A / INTJ-T
(WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?)

05
Parenthood
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”

MARGARET MEAD

Architects (INTJs) are known for their rationality and self-control, and

they may be bemused by anyone who doesn’t share these strengths –

for example, children. Parenting may not come easily to these

personalities, requiring them to master new skills and increase their

cognitive !exibility. Fortunately, Architects are pretty much always up

for a challenge. And for Architects who choose to have children, few

challenges may be as meaningful as parenthood.

An Honest Connection

Architects want their children to grow up to be capable and self-reliant,

with clear interests and strong critical-thinking skills. Rather than

enforce pointless rules, they look for age-appropriate ways to foster

their child’s independence. That’s not to say that parents with this

personality type are lenient – far from it. They expect their children to

use their freedom responsibly.

Some personality types might shelter their children from di"cult

subjects, but Architect parents typically believe that knowledge is far

better than ignorance. For them, candor is a way of showing respect,

and shielding their children from reality would be a disservice. Of

course, the success of this approach depends on Architects’ ability to

correctly gauge their children’s readiness for these hard truths.

The Chaos of Emotions

Compared to other personality types, Architects aren’t especially

comfortable with displays of a#ection. Showering someone with love,

praise, and a#ection can feel unnatural to them – even if that

“someone” is their own child. But children need cuddling and other

expressions of love, particularly during their younger years. As a result,

Architect parents may need to expand their emotional comfort zone in

order to show their children how much they are loved.

Another challenge for parents with this personality type is o#ering

emotional support. Architects take pride in being in command of their

feelings, and they might expect their children to be able to do the

same. But this expectation isn’t reasonable – emotions may be

confusing and, at times, chaotic, but they’re perfectly normal, and

children need validation and support in order to navigate them.

Architects are at their best when they can develop a plan to solve a

problem’s root cause. But sometimes the best solution to a kid’s

problem is just sitting with them as they explore their feelings.

Preparing for Life’s Challenges

Architects try to make sure that their children are prepared to deal

with anything that life throws at them. Parents with this personality

type can reframe problems as opportunities for personal growth,

inspiring their children to develop their own style of rational thinking

and problem-solving. Over time, Architects’ children can apply these

skills to increasingly complex situations, building their con$dence as

they grow.

Every parent has a di#erent dream for their child’s future. For

Architects, the dream is to raise a competent adult who knows their

own mind and solves their own problems – and, if the time comes,

helps their own children do the same. Architects understand that this

can’t happen if they protect their children from every di"cult or

unpleasant thing in life. But their hope is that, if they give their children

the right tools, they won’t have to.

Friendships Career Paths

! "

3.5K
SHARES

$ % & # ' #

Facebook $ Other Comments (36)

©2011-2021 NERIS Analytics Limited

Contact Testimonials Help Us Evolve! Terms & Conditions Privacy Policy

For Teams

!"#

! ! ! !
Pro!le Premium Toolkits Teams Resources