Science

The Government can now steal our DNA from just the
air around us!

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK- Scientists in Copenhagen have researched and found new

groundbreaking techniques that allow the extraction of DNA from thin air. The technique is
similar to the one used when collecting DNA from water, but it is harder due to the DNA being a
lot more diluted in the air. With the DNA, the scientists are able to pinpoint exactly what animal
they found (including humans) and more specifically the different species. The method is so
strong that Elizabeth Clare, the lead author of the technique’s UK study, reported that they could
“collect eDNA from animals that were hundreds of meters away… and even from outside sealed
buildings”. This may sound like a very cool scientific study, but what about our privacy.
What a wonderful discovery these scientists have made that allows them to steal people's
DNA from miles away. For all we know, someone could be extracting people’s DNA from right
outside their house at this very moment. At this point what is stopping someone from collecting
DNA and making clones of individuals? Are we sure the president is the same human that was
elected to office a year ago? Has your dog been dead for the past five years? Is that the same
woman that gave birth to you? With this new amazing and groundbreaking technology, nobody
can be trusted. It is only a matter of time before every corner of the world is filled with fake
humans.
Contributor: Caleb Shurtz
Caleb Shurtz

Mrs. Burkhalter

AP English Literature and Composition, Period 6

24 January 2022

Works Cited

“DNA Pulled from Thin Air Identifies Nearby Animals.” Science,

https://www.science.org/content/article/dna-pulled-thin-air-identifies-nearby-animals.

Hunt, Katie. “DNA Can Now Be Pulled from the Very Air We Breathe. It Could Help Track

Endangered Animals.” CNN, Cable News Network, 6 Jan. 2022,

https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/06/europe/airborne-dna-animals-scn/index.html.
 Reflection

My article takes a normal scientific development and implements satire to comment on the

overly paranoid nature of society. The first satirical device that is used is situational irony and is

seen in the article with the transition between the first and the second paragraph. The first

paragraph strikes the reader as a rather normal article with a simple description of the DNA

scientific discovery. However, the second paragraph contradicts the common ideas and

progression of the first paragraph and instead goes on a crazy tangent of paranoia. This reversal

of expectation for the reader creates situational irony. Another satirical device that was used is

verbal irony. We see this mainly in the second paragraph with the phrases “what a wonderful

discovery” and “this new amazing and groundbreaking technology”. These two very optimistic

statements are surrounded by negative comments concerning the invasion of privacy and the

possible world domination of clones. These two ideas strongly contradict to create verbal irony.

Finally, exaggeration is heavily used as the article makes wild predictions about the new

technology. This includes the previously mentioned world domination of clones, as well as the

possibilities of unnoticed human and even pet replacements. These ideas are very far-fetched and

exaggerated to show the absurdity of the thoughts. All three of these satirical devices work

together to talk about how absurd the worries of society can get.